Comments | wisteria_: BSG fic: "Once Were Gods", by indigo419 and wisteria

wisteria_

BSG fic: "Once Were Gods", by indigo419 and wisteria

Nov 29, 2006 22:08

While waiting for "Unfinished Business", indigo419 and I decided to amuse ourselves by writing our (dream) version of one of the key scenes. If you've seen the previews, you already know the spoilers herein; it doesn't reference anything beyond those. We did plot this before seeing them, so it has a few minor inconsistencies. This one's for elly427, in ( Read more... )

fic, bsg

Comments 48

talyr November 30 2006, 03:47:07 UTC

Gah! i LOVE it. I want that to happen so desperately, i want the boxing to be somewhat therapeutic for them, not just make things worse. I can't wait for the ep and yet i'm terrified to see it at the same time. This was wonderful and believable and rekindled my hope for pilots, and for that i thank you!

wisteria_ November 30 2006, 07:06:57 UTC

Thanks so much! We were more interested in finding a way for them to heal than we were in the big, mushy K/L reunion. I'm glad that aspect of it rang true for you. :)

jenchiblu November 30 2006, 04:10:43 UTC

Love it. I only wish it would happen this way.

Small note, this sentence He reaches for one hand and starts to unlace the gloves. is repeated.

wisteria_ November 30 2006, 07:07:30 UTC

Two sets of eyes, and we still missed that one. Yikes! Thanks for pointing it out. :)

twirls November 30 2006, 05:02:16 UTC

So e swallows it down, and the double sentence already pointed out are the only mistakes.

Otherwise, perfect. I love it.

wisteria_ November 30 2006, 07:07:59 UTC

Oops! Just fixed the errors. Thanks for the lovely words. :)

phdelicious November 30 2006, 05:20:20 UTC

*crosses fingers and hopes to see this on Friday*

Thank you for sharing this.

indigo419 November 30 2006, 21:11:16 UTC

Thanks for commenting! Yeah, we were so impatient for Friday that we had to write our own take. It'll get jossed, but what the heck! :0)

daera23 November 30 2006, 05:20:46 UTC

oh wow. I knew it would be good, but, Wow!

She looks like sex, like she’s spent the past four hours frakking her husband then came in here to blow off all that extra energy. Rub his face in it as a special bonus. Lee wouldn’t put it past her. Wouldn’t put anything past her these days.

I really wish one of these days that someone would drill into authors of any sort the value of a damn good first line. And this one is tops. It's all Kara and in your face and perfect. Nothing hooks you better than a damn good first line.

When she finally looks up at him, her eyes are huge and full of tears. He flinches away, mind flashing back to the last time he saw that face in a dark field. And he has to blink, to catch his own breath, because something in his gut is blooming into a bruise, twisting and clenching in a sour haze.

“Make it hurt, Lee,” she mutters so low that he has to read her lips. She stands up, tucks her elbow, and as she begins the punch, she repeats a bit louder. “Make it hurt.”
and this moment. so raw. i could totally ( ... )

indigo419 November 30 2006, 21:01:31 UTC

So glad it worked for you! We were worried it would be too emo... no, wait, actually we had a grand old time sloshing around in the melodrama! ;0) But Alanna does such a fine job of skating that edge between raw emotion and scenery-chewing. Kinda like Katee. *g*