Magokoro o kimi ni - my true heart to you

[wired_lizard]

A sort of a correlary to this post. I've gotten a number of emails and comments and had a number of conversations that have led me to realize that various people don't know various things.

Comments

[lucky_otter]

I so very much know what you're saying about hiding from your failures. I do that way, way too much. I ignore my problems, as if they'll go away if I simply don't look at them. Unfortunately, it works sometimes, sort of - don't do it and people stop asking. They might now not trust me as much, or give me a bad grade in a class, but they do stop asking. This has almost resulted in my losing my grad school funding, and may yet.

Job-hunting sucks no matter *how* qualified you are. "You need more experience." "You're overqualified." "You don't have the right degree." And the market is terrible, so even getting someone to talk to you is hard, let alone actually want to hire you. I hate it.

I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you have the right attitude for it.

[wired_lizard]

Yeah--it sortof works. Just enough so that one tends to keep doing it. :/ Good luck with it, and with the grad school funding too. Yikes!

Right attitude? Me? Not sure about that, but thank you!

Re: Not sure if this needs to be said, but...

[wired_lizard]

Hi is always good. And hugs. :)

*hugs*

What is your schedule like now that you are Free From Teh Interconz?

[mytheria]

*hugs*
you are always welcome to talk things through with me. Good luck on the job hunt. I'd try to talk one of the temp agencies into you being in the 'daily needs' pool. Yes it means getting up and going to their office by 8, but then you wait for a couple hours, then they either send you for the day to cover phone when a receptionist calls out sick, or send you home, having at least paid you a little for the time you were there. (I did this about 4 years ago)
Know that point 6 is one that pushes many peoples buttons. People don't always know what level of energy it takes to do X, and just because it takes you more energy than it would them doesn't mean that you're not trying. Depression is like that. People react and say hurtful things because they don't know. Self-care and knowing where you need to put your energy is what matters.

[wired_lizard]

*hugsback*

I'm actually looking for a part-time job now, temp or disposable, so I can bring in enough money to keep myself up here and still have reliable daytime hours for job-hunting. If I don't get something from my agencies soon, I'll probably just go to Staples or something.

Spoon management, basically. Though with depression it can be even harder, because it's tough to tell, even from the inside, the difference between spoon management and laziness. And at that point with Cyn...I feel like it wouldn't have mattered even if I did manage to get everything done, been perfect, because she still would've wanted more. But that's subjective, that is.

[mytheria]

spoon management is a good concept but for some reason I hate the term 'spoons' for this idea. As for the relationship foo: sounds like it was a rough situation.

[wired_lizard]

Thank you, so much. I've been trying to--be graceful and reasonable and so forth. And there's a part of me that thinks, because of past experience, that no matter how hard I try, I will never be mature, never be good enough. So--thank you.

[paper_crystals]

*hugs*

I am glad to have someone spell out what is going on. When I realized that Andrea was talking about you in terms of the house sitting stuff I was very confused as that so very much not my idea of something you would do. And so I was worried. I am glad that you are doing better. Best of luck with job searching. It does suck. I am avoiding it too. Break ups also suck.

[wired_lizard]

*hugsback*

I'm glad to help clarify stuff. :) And best of luck with your avoided job-hunt too. ;)