Fun with Essential Avengers vol. 1
a.k.a THE SIXTIES CRACK, IT BURNS.
Issue 3:
Namor: Never before have I witnessed such an awesome display of naked power!
Thor can do some, ah, neat tricks with his hammer, can't he?
Issue 4:
Yay Cap!
Is it just the perspective, or does he, as he's realizing where he is and asking "Who are you??" brush his knuckles over Iron Man's faceplate? Oh, the slasher's heart in me goes pitter-pat.
Rick, in thought-bubble: All of a sudden, he's changed! He acts like a guy who's used to being obeyed--and fast!
Yes, Rick, Cap's a big top. We get it.
More of the same: He's the greatest guy I ever met--and I can tell he wants me to be his parter! But what about--the Hulk??
Aww, he's got a crush on the handsome toppy guy in the chainmail and leather and getting tired of his abusive dom. Sidekicks really are inherently fruity by nature.
Skipping ahead some...
Issue 17:
Dear lord, Pietro and Wanda read like a couple. Ow. My brain. Though I suppose this isn't exactly news, now is it?
Cap: Of course, it helps to be able to use the resilient steel hood of a car as a springboard--especially if you've spent years mastering the dangerous and difficult art of combat gymnastics!
Y'know, normally the phrase "combat gymnastics" makes me think of, oh, Sailor V. Only Cap could make it manly and badass, and this is why we love him.
Also, he gets so adorably upset when Iron Man announces his leave of absence. Oh noes, plot be stealin' his boyfriend!
Issue 18:
And here begins the constant dick-waving between Cap and Hawkeye--
Cap, in thought bubble: I know what each of them is thinking! They feel that I am the weakest of all! They think one of them should be the leader! I can see it in their eyes! Especially Hawkeye! He has never taken orders from anyone before!
Yes, Cap, we know you're a big top. And I'm sure we'd all just love to see you break Hawkeye in...
Hawkeye, in thought bubble: He's never at a loss! He takes command everywhere...no matter what!
YES, CLINT, WE KNOW CAP'S A BIG TOP.
And Wanda and Pietro still read like a couple. And it's Quicksilver's turn to be captured and tortured today. Whee!
Issue 19:
...opens with Cap brooding that his ex from the war Nick Fury hasn't written back to him. And plotting ways to impress him.
Cap: If we can successfully complete this mission, it may be my stepping stone to Nick Fury's agency! He'll have to consider me!
Awwww.
(And yay for Wanda pwning the Monster of the Week after it'd handed all the boys' asses to them.)
Issue 20:
Pietro: Quicksilver touches what he pleases!!
Yup.
This is when Hawkeye's ex The Swordsman turns up. So...much...dick-waving...
And, speaking of exes, Cap has himself an enormous squee when he gets a (faked) answer from Fury. It's adorable. And then he promptly gets pissy. Nick does bring out the extremes in him, doesn't he?
Fake letter leads Cap into Bondage and Peril...and he takes a suicidal leap rather than see the Avengers surrender to an evil leader. I love it when he gets heroic!
Issue 21:
After they rescue Cap and the Mandarin teleports the Swordsman away because he likes subjugating guys in moustaches because he looks useful, Cap and Hawkeye have some big-time dick-waving back at the mansion. Quicksilver joins in.
In the meantime, the Mandarin reveals his Cunning Plan to send a faked hologram of Iron Man to order the Avengers to allow the Swordsman on the team. Hawkeye gets pissy at him--
Cap: Hold on, Hawkeye! No one speaks to Iron Man that way--not in my presence!
Stand up for your boyfriend, Cap!
Issue 22:
Wanda, in thought bubble, as Cap touches her shoulder: His touch! So strong--and yet, so gentle...!
As we all know from the Steve/Tony pr0n, sweetie.
Yet more dick-waving. Wanda verbally bitchslaps Hawkeye for it--
Hawkeye, in thought-bubble: She's right! But I'll be hanged if I'll admit it!
Such a bratty bottom.
Hawkeye, later, still in thought-bubble: Nobody beats up a fellow Avenger without answerin' to Hawkeye! Not even if it was only Captain America! Even though I'm always ridin' wing-head, I'd still like to know how Power Man beat him into yesterday!
I think you've got it backwards, Clint, when it comes to who's doing the riding.
More later, I think. Must do some actual work now.
I must say, though, the more I read of this era, the more I like the relatively bouncy, gabby Cap. Not that I don't love, say, the Winter Soldier trade in many, many ways, but it's good to remember that Steve isn't always a Wall of Stolid Man-Pain.
Issue 3:
Namor: Never before have I witnessed such an awesome display of naked power!
Thor can do some, ah, neat tricks with his hammer, can't he?
Issue 4:
Yay Cap!
Is it just the perspective, or does he, as he's realizing where he is and asking "Who are you??" brush his knuckles over Iron Man's faceplate? Oh, the slasher's heart in me goes pitter-pat.
Rick, in thought-bubble: All of a sudden, he's changed! He acts like a guy who's used to being obeyed--and fast!
Yes, Rick, Cap's a big top. We get it.
More of the same: He's the greatest guy I ever met--and I can tell he wants me to be his parter! But what about--the Hulk??
Aww, he's got a crush on the handsome toppy guy in the chainmail and leather and getting tired of his abusive dom. Sidekicks really are inherently fruity by nature.
Skipping ahead some...
Issue 17:
Dear lord, Pietro and Wanda read like a couple. Ow. My brain. Though I suppose this isn't exactly news, now is it?
Cap: Of course, it helps to be able to use the resilient steel hood of a car as a springboard--especially if you've spent years mastering the dangerous and difficult art of combat gymnastics!
Y'know, normally the phrase "combat gymnastics" makes me think of, oh, Sailor V. Only Cap could make it manly and badass, and this is why we love him.
Also, he gets so adorably upset when Iron Man announces his leave of absence. Oh noes, plot be stealin' his boyfriend!
Issue 18:
And here begins the constant dick-waving between Cap and Hawkeye--
Cap, in thought bubble: I know what each of them is thinking! They feel that I am the weakest of all! They think one of them should be the leader! I can see it in their eyes! Especially Hawkeye! He has never taken orders from anyone before!
Yes, Cap, we know you're a big top. And I'm sure we'd all just love to see you break Hawkeye in...
Hawkeye, in thought bubble: He's never at a loss! He takes command everywhere...no matter what!
YES, CLINT, WE KNOW CAP'S A BIG TOP.
And Wanda and Pietro still read like a couple. And it's Quicksilver's turn to be captured and tortured today. Whee!
Issue 19:
...opens with Cap brooding that his ex from the war Nick Fury hasn't written back to him. And plotting ways to impress him.
Cap: If we can successfully complete this mission, it may be my stepping stone to Nick Fury's agency! He'll have to consider me!
Awwww.
(And yay for Wanda pwning the Monster of the Week after it'd handed all the boys' asses to them.)
Issue 20:
Pietro: Quicksilver touches what he pleases!!
Yup.
This is when Hawkeye's ex The Swordsman turns up. So...much...dick-waving...
And, speaking of exes, Cap has himself an enormous squee when he gets a (faked) answer from Fury. It's adorable. And then he promptly gets pissy. Nick does bring out the extremes in him, doesn't he?
Fake letter leads Cap into Bondage and Peril...and he takes a suicidal leap rather than see the Avengers surrender to an evil leader. I love it when he gets heroic!
Issue 21:
After they rescue Cap and the Mandarin teleports the Swordsman away because he likes subjugating guys in moustaches because he looks useful, Cap and Hawkeye have some big-time dick-waving back at the mansion. Quicksilver joins in.
In the meantime, the Mandarin reveals his Cunning Plan to send a faked hologram of Iron Man to order the Avengers to allow the Swordsman on the team. Hawkeye gets pissy at him--
Cap: Hold on, Hawkeye! No one speaks to Iron Man that way--not in my presence!
Stand up for your boyfriend, Cap!
Issue 22:
Wanda, in thought bubble, as Cap touches her shoulder: His touch! So strong--and yet, so gentle...!
As we all know from the Steve/Tony pr0n, sweetie.
Yet more dick-waving. Wanda verbally bitchslaps Hawkeye for it--
Hawkeye, in thought-bubble: She's right! But I'll be hanged if I'll admit it!
Such a bratty bottom.
Hawkeye, later, still in thought-bubble: Nobody beats up a fellow Avenger without answerin' to Hawkeye! Not even if it was only Captain America! Even though I'm always ridin' wing-head, I'd still like to know how Power Man beat him into yesterday!
I think you've got it backwards, Clint, when it comes to who's doing the riding.
More later, I think. Must do some actual work now.
I must say, though, the more I read of this era, the more I like the relatively bouncy, gabby Cap. Not that I don't love, say, the Winter Soldier trade in many, many ways, but it's good to remember that Steve isn't always a Wall of Stolid Man-Pain.