003 // Fanfiction > Drabble > Gravitation

[winterhorse]

Comments

001 - Beginning!

[camerababy]

(To make up for me running out earlier...)

What can I say? I adore this drabble. ♥ It's trying to inspire me to contemplate writing my own set of 50, (heavens forbid). 100 words seems both long and short at the same time… but I think that it is a good amount to give the reader a taste of the story that is to come, along with a heavy hand of foreshadowing. (mm, so tasty, foreshadowing. ♥ )

Re: 001 - Beginning!

[blameshimself]

Do itttt. It's fun, and I'd like to read them all! How is it forshadowing, we all know how it will end.

[glenavera]

You're writing a complete story just out of drabbles...? Awesome!

Thank you for the new drabbles. But now I'm really curious to read the next one.

[blameshimself]

It's the only way I could do it. 8( So this is my own way of cheating. It's like writing a 5,000 word story with 100 word chapters.

[glenavera]

It absolutely makes sense to split a drabble challenge into writing 100 word chapters. Although the idea never crossed my mind before. It's a really clever way of cheating^^

[blameshimself]

/o/ Well, now you can do it in the future. 8)

[blown_wish]

Tohma frowned- wow. Excellent use of tohma's expression to gauge the tone. Which is so dramatic considering your highlight of that plastic constant smile. The tone is amazing. I really like your attention to stroytelling in order to show-not-tell the direction of the plot. I like how you show Tohma's failure to connect, ring one upped, the icecream, being suddenly disconnected by his father's death.

You got this one buttoned down.

[blameshimself]

Th-Thank you. ♥;;

[camerababy]

;0; Poor Tohmaaaaaa~

I like! I love! I heart! ♥!

I wasn't sure if the killing thing happened at their apartment or Kitazawa's... but it makes it much more personal if it's their place. I also like how you glossed over what Eiri was probably doing much like I suspect Tohma did himself. ♥

/STOPS. FOR NOW.

[blameshimself]

It was at Kitazawa's apartment. Tohma had his own house in New York according to the omake. S-So no, I wasn't being creatively deceptive. I was assuming the audience knew this, as well as that Kitazawa had an apartment and died there

/lazy, presumptuous author

[camerababy]

N-No.... That was actually my sleep-deprived brain somehow construing that drabble as Tohma coming home after a long day at work, instead of picking him up at the bastard's apartment. :x /will sleep soon, promise

[blameshimself]

No. I was still vague. I never said where Tohma's house was. |D I just picked an area that had an apartment for under a thousand dollars a month and sent Kitazawa there. The snake. 8|

Tohma got worried about Eiri, ditched work and went straight to Kitazawa's -- Tohma is assuming that if Eiri was at home, he would have answered the phone. Lucky assumption?

D-Do not sleep. I WILL BE ALL ALOOOOOOOONE.

[sing_bluesilver]

Brilliant, I love it.

[blameshimself]

Eeee. Alec likes it~? ♥♥♥

[sing_bluesilver]

Yup.

[blameshimself]

That makes me so happy~