Taking Chances - The End of the Beginning
Title: Taking Chances, Part 4 (aka, the End of the Beginning)
Rating: R, for foul language
Word count: 2,860
Summary: In the end, is it worth the risk?
Spoilers: Up to and including Episode 4, Preggers
Note: This chapter completes Taking Chances. But I love these characters, and I have absolutely loved writing this, and I think there is lots more of this story to tell. Sequels, deleted scenes, maybe a Kurt/Puck spin off... but for now, it's done and I'd love to know what you think of it.
The next day, they didn't have any free periods together to talk about things, though even if they had, Will wouldn't know what to say. Puck knew about them, and Will didn't think he would tell anyone. Rachel, though, would be able to hold this information over their heads forever.
Will's first priority was protecting Finn. Even if that meant giving solos to Rachel, he'd do whatever was needed.
There was a football game that night, the first one with Kurt as kicker, and so Will went. He knew that Finn was upset with him, and rightfully so, but didn't know how to fix it. Would it be alright to hurt Finn, if it helped him in the end?
It was heartbreaking to watch them lose, and to see Finn get tackled over and over again. After one particularly brutal tackle, it seemed to take a very long time for Finn to get up again. He squinted down at the field. "Do you think he's okay?"
"Yes, I think so," Emma replied. "That happens a lot, doesn't it? And they wear padding."
Will nodded, and sighed. "Have you ever loved someone so much it drove you crazy? Like, you actually questioned your sanity, and you were willing to do really stupid, bad decisions because of it? Even though you knew you guys couldn't be together?"
"Yeah... yeah, I have, Will."
"I'm such an idiot," he muttered. "God, so stupid... Wait, what the hell?"
The football team had actually started dancing. He grinned and stood up to dance with them, and some other members of the crowd joined in too. And then--
"Oh my god! Oh my god, they did it!"
"I know, I can't believe it!" Emma and Will turned to each other and hugged tight, swaying back and forth a little. There was a moment, in which they stared at each other and then--
She kissed him.
Emma kissed him.
He pulled away as quickly as he could and looked down at the field. Had Finn seen that? Fuck...
"Will, I thought, I mean, you were saying..."
He just shook his head. "I'm sorry, you misunderstood me. I mean, you're an amazing friend…"
She nodded, turning away from him. "I understand."
Will had more to say, but the roar of the crowd drowned out any words he could have said. Turned out McKinley won.
--
He really hated texting, because he wasn't very good at it. But he did when the occasion called for it (and Finn understood that any texts from Will, whose name was "Joey" in his phone book, were to be deleted immediately upon reading). (Finn didn't actually mind that part as it made him feel like a secret agent).
Will's text read, "Com 2 my car wen your done plz. We need 2 talk."
He spent the time waiting pretending he was cleaning his car. Eventually, he decided that Finn just wasn't coming, and went over to his door. And then he felt a tapping at his shoulder. It was Finn, eyes reddened and shoulders slumped. "Finn."
"I think that giving that solo to Rachel instead of Tina wasn't fair. And even if you're going to dump me, it's still true."
"…What? I'm not--."
"Really? I thought you'd already moved on..."
Will winced. "She kissed me. I pulled away as quickly as I could, I don't know why she did it, I swear."
"And what's been your problem lately?"
He took a step backwards and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Rachel found out about us."
"…Oh. That's why you're dumping me. Fucking Rachel..."
"She'll tell. She blackmailed me into giving her that solo. She could try to ruin your life. She's not like Puck."
"So this is over?"
"I just… Finn, it's not safe. The risks are huge… if people found out, you'd never be able to get a scholarship."
"Yeah? It's not worth the risk?"
"Finn…"
Finn glared at him, and then held up his hand, which was in some sort of splint.
"What happened?" gasped Will. "Are you okay?"
Finn shrugged. "I might never be able to play football again."
Will reached to embrace him but Finn stepped backward, shaking his head.
"'I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you' - you said that to me. I believed you."
"That was before, and I am, just not--"
"You lied. But you know, Mr Schu, you've taught me a lot. I guess this is just another one of your lessons. Be careful who you trust."
Will could feel the tears in his eyes threaten to spill. "She could ruin your life, don't you get that?"
Finn thrust his hand forward, showing the splint. "My life is already ruined. I never thought you'd have any part in that… but I guess I am kind of stupid."
He walked over to the nearby car where Puck was waiting, and they drove off.
--
Will actually accomplished quite a lot that weekend, seeing as he was doing anything he could to take his mind off things. He'd imagined that he should feel relieved right now, but all he could feel was guilt. Still, though, if it was for the best...
Finn, meanwhile, was fine. He and Puck had been friends since first grade, and were always there for each other. Puck knew, therefore, just what to do to make Finn feel better. They luxuriated in Puck's hot tub. They ate five pizzas between the two of them in one day. And they went to the strip club, which Finn didn't notice was directly across the street from Will's apartment. He had no idea that Will was looking out his window and saw them, Finn's arm around Puck's shoulders, Finn barely able to walk. Will wanted to run outside, get Finn, bring him back to his apartment - but he didn't. He went to his bed and lay down, and didn't sleep for the entire night.
--
Everything was normal the next day, except that Finn didn't come to him for tutoring. Will couldn't pretend to be surprised by that. Even Glee Club was fine, with Finn still putting the same effort he'd always put into his performance… and Rachel looking especially smug.
"Can you help me with my vocals for Somebody to Love?"
Will turned around quickly.
"Yeah, sure," replied Kurt.
"Thanks," said Finn, smiling at Kurt. Will had to fight hard to control his emotions. "Hey, are you taking the SAT? I have all these words I need to go over..."
"I can help!" exclaimed Rachel, hurrying over. "I already have index cards made, based on a statistical analysis of which words are most likely to be used."
Will left the room quietly.
--
Finn learned a lot from his mother and from football, namely, that you should never show weakness. Will didn't want to be with him anymore? Fine. Finn wasn't going to sit around and cry about that, because then Will would just feel bad for him, and Finn didn't need anyone's pity. Finn felt bad for Will, because Will was too scared and stupid to be with him, and what they had was awesome, but seriously, Finn didn't need Will! Finn was fine. His study group with Kurt and Rachel went really well, especially because they were both really willing to help him succeed.
The only bad thing was that he started failing Spanish, because Spanish reminded him of Will, and he tried to avoid the entire subject. What happened was really inevitable, he thought.
"Finn, please see me after class."
Finn did as he was told. "Yes, Mr Schuester?"
"You failed your last Spanish test, and you didn't do your homework, Finn."
Finn could see the bag's under Will's eyes - clear evidence that he wasn't sleeping. But Finn didn't want to feel bad for him. He wanted to feel angry. "Thanks for telling me, Mr Schuester."
"Finn... if you keep up like this, you'll fail the class. You know I don't want to fail you, but I'll have no choice."
Finn shrugged. "You always do the right thing, so I'll just trust your judgment."
Will winced. "C'mon, Finn, this is your future we're talking about."
Finn shrugged and looked at his hand, which was now in a cast. He looked back up at Will and shrugged. "It's not your problem."
Rachel poked her head into the classroom. "Finn, there you are!" She came into the room, smiled at Will, and then stood on her tiptoes to kiss Finn... who kissed her back. "Are you ready for our picnic?"
"Always," he said, taking her hand with his good one. "See you later, Mr Schuester."
--
Rachel was nice, okay? Seriously. She really liked Finn and wasn't afraid to show it. They could hold hands or kiss in the hallway and no one made a really big deal out of it (well, kind of a big deal, but they didn't get arrested or anything). She was also a great vocal coach, and an excellent cook. If Will was too scared to be with him, Finn thought that Rachel wasn't that bad of a replacement. Sure, she was the reason he and Will had broken up, technically - but Will could have been brave. They could have found a way. But they didn't. Being with Rachel wasn't that bad, really. If he didn't think about it too much, he could almost convince himself that he was happy.
--
Puck came into Will's office, shut the door, and flopped down on the chair across from Will's desk. "I thought teachers were supposed to be smart."
Will looked at him. "Excuse me?"
"Let's cut the bullshit, okay? I know what's going on. You dumped Finn because you're a scared little bitch, and now he's with Rachel, and it's pathetic."
"I don't know why you think his happiness is pathetic, Noah."
"Call me Puck. And he's not happy. Seriously, are you an idiot? How did you even get this teaching job?" He shook his head. "I know Finn. He's not happy. He's just trying to make the best out of the situation, but he's miserable."
"How do you know that?"
"It's obvious if you're not an idiot. So you'll just have to trust me that it's obvious."
"If you could keep the insulting comments to a minimum..."
"No! Why should I?" He pointed an accusing finger at Will. "You fucked up my best friend! You're lucky I don't beat you up right now! Here's an idea - why don't you grow a pair and get him back so you can both stop being miserable?"
"I never wanted to have to end things between us. I'm not sure if Finn told you this, but there are humongous risks involved, and I'm trying to protect him. Rachel knows, and she'd tell everyone."
"Then hide, or bribe Rachel, or something. I just wonder how being this miserable could possibly be worth it for you, man. I hear the shit you say to everyone - 'Follow your dreams, bullshit bullshit bullshit.' Don't you have any dreams? Did you ever? Or is this really what you want in your life?"
Will sighed. "I want things to be alright."
Puck stood, rolling his eyes. "Then go make them alright. Seriously man, this isn't as hard as you're making it! Fucking idiot..."
--
"You wanted to see me, Mr Schuester?"
"Yes, Rachel, I did. Look, I'm just going to be extremely honest with you, okay?"
Rachel's eyes narrowed. "Okay..."
"I know how important it is for you to succeed in Glee Club, and I will do absolutely everything I can to help with that. I also understand that you want a boyfriend, and Finn is a very good candidate for that. But..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I love him. I'm in love with him." He pulled out a sheet of paper from his desk. "This is an application for Julliard. Maybe you've heard of it? I will write you the best recommendation for its music program that I can. I'll write you a recommendation to any music program. I'll give you any solo you want. You can blackmail me from now until the end of time. But I love him. I'll do anything to be with him again. Please, Rachel." He came to realize, belatedly, that he was crying. Fuck. But then again, so was Rachel.
"I'm tired of being alone, Mr Schuester."
"So am I."
Finn poked his head into the room. "...Do I get any say in this?"
Rachel swallowed and nodded. "Whatever you decide, Finn... I'll respect your decision."
Finn walked closer and looked from Rachel to Will. "I want to be with him... but only if he's not a coward. Only if he thinks it's worth the risks."
"I was scared, Finn, I was just trying to protect you. And all I did was fuck everything up and make us both miserable... Finn, I'm sorry. I love you. I never stopped."
Finn sighed. "I'm sorry, Rach."
She blew her nose with a pink handkerchief. "It's okay. I guess Mr Schu is pretty awesome."
"Yeah... he is."
She looked at them for a moment, before realizing her cue to leave. Finn pointed a finger at Will. "Don't fuck with me like that again, okay?"
"Finn, I'm so sorry for letting my fear control me."
"Just don't do it again, okay?"
Will nodded, and Finn gave him a half smile. Finn reached a hand out to tangle his fingers in Will's curls, and pulled him into a kiss. Will ran his hands up and down Finn's arms, wondering how he could have ever given this up.
--
They kissed for a long time in Will's office, because school was over and neither of them could find it within themselves to stop. Eventually, though, they did. Finn rubbed one of the bags under Will's eyes with gentle fingers, the other arm still tight around him. He gave a small, sympathetic smile. "Haven't been sleeping well?"
Will shook his head. "You either, from the looks of it."
"Well, I've been sleeping on the couch because there's a leak in my room, and school has been a lot harder without you tutoring me and... I missed you."
Will nodded, taking it all in. Finn. This amazing boy who he'd tried to protect, but just hurt. He hugged Finn tightly. "Wanna not have to sleep on a couch tonight?"
Finn looked at Will curiously, eyebrows raised. "You're going to fix our roof?"
Will bit his lip before realizing that Finn was joking. "Not quite."
--
If Will was going to be honest, he was scared to death. The only person he'd ever shared his bed with was Terri - but he really, really wanted Finn there. Now that he had Finn back, he wanted to be as close to him as possible. Luckily, Finn felt the same way, so that after a concerted effort to get Finn to his apartment without being seen, and a bit of awkwardness, they made it to the bed.
"Sometimes, when I... get reallyreally excited... I think of this time when I was learning to drive and I accidentally hit a mailman."
"...Oh?"
"It hasn't really happened with you, thank God, maybe because it's not just about sex, but umm... I'd really like to avoid it right now."
Will smiled. "So you're saying you just want to go to sleep?"
"Pretty much, if that's okay."
The truth was that Finn wanted to wait a little longer until he absolutely sure that Will wasn't going to leave again. Because all of his time in Celibacy Club had taught him that sex was supposed to be special, and not with someone who was going to leave you. Not that Will was... he sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"Just... don't leave again, okay? No matter what happens."
"What about when you go to college? Then you'll be leaving me."
Finn frowned. He hadn't thought about that - as college as something that might actually happen. "Well, you can come with me."
"...Umm, Finn, I've already graduated college..."
"No, I know that, I mean... I'll go to college and you can move there too, and teach. You want to get out of Lima too, don't you?"
Truthfully, Will had never really considered that. He'd resigned himself to living in Lima forever, but maybe that didn't have to be the case.
"I don't know. First we have to get you a scholarship somewhere..."
Finn looked at Will intently. "Promise me that you're not going to freak out again, or leave me, or whatever."
Will nodded. "I can't guarantee that I won't freak out again... but if I do, I won't leave. I promise."
Finn really had no idea how his future would go. His had his dreams, but he had a long way to go before achieving them. And it wouldn't be easy, not even a little. He'd always worked hard for everything good in his life, and now was no different.
He nodded slightly, and kissed Will. The most important thing was that he had hope. He knew things wouldn't be perfect now that he and Will were back together, but as long as they were together, things would be okay.
-THE END!-
(of the beginning)
PS - This probably isn't the end. But you know, for now. And as cliched as this is to say, knowing that people want to read more of this will help motivate me to write more. Even though I probably will anyway.
OH YEAH! I SHOULD THANK SOME PEOPLE!
venacavaa, my muse, the Finn to my Will, who held my hand and made me keep writing even when I was stuck and wanted to quit. She is fantistiawesomamazing.
perivates, one of my real life BFFs, who actually wrote a few sentences of the first chapter that I just couldn't get out right. She gave me the confidence to let people read this in the first place. <3<3<3
tempusfugit321, also an awesome real life friend of mine who shares all the same fandoms with me. He's really important, because this story originally had an entirely different (really lame) plot, and he advised me to do something different. Thank you, kind sir. Your excellence will not soon be forgotten.
And You, reader, who is somehow still reading this. I wrote this because I love Winn and I love writing, but knowing that other people love it too makes it awesome. I feel like Rachel, after busting out an awesome solo. Thanks for supporting this little creative endeavor of mine, and be sure to let me know what you want to read in a sequel.
...And, I'm out. Uh-peace!
Rating: R, for foul language
Word count: 2,860
Summary: In the end, is it worth the risk?
Spoilers: Up to and including Episode 4, Preggers
Note: This chapter completes Taking Chances. But I love these characters, and I have absolutely loved writing this, and I think there is lots more of this story to tell. Sequels, deleted scenes, maybe a Kurt/Puck spin off... but for now, it's done and I'd love to know what you think of it.
The next day, they didn't have any free periods together to talk about things, though even if they had, Will wouldn't know what to say. Puck knew about them, and Will didn't think he would tell anyone. Rachel, though, would be able to hold this information over their heads forever.
Will's first priority was protecting Finn. Even if that meant giving solos to Rachel, he'd do whatever was needed.
There was a football game that night, the first one with Kurt as kicker, and so Will went. He knew that Finn was upset with him, and rightfully so, but didn't know how to fix it. Would it be alright to hurt Finn, if it helped him in the end?
It was heartbreaking to watch them lose, and to see Finn get tackled over and over again. After one particularly brutal tackle, it seemed to take a very long time for Finn to get up again. He squinted down at the field. "Do you think he's okay?"
"Yes, I think so," Emma replied. "That happens a lot, doesn't it? And they wear padding."
Will nodded, and sighed. "Have you ever loved someone so much it drove you crazy? Like, you actually questioned your sanity, and you were willing to do really stupid, bad decisions because of it? Even though you knew you guys couldn't be together?"
"Yeah... yeah, I have, Will."
"I'm such an idiot," he muttered. "God, so stupid... Wait, what the hell?"
The football team had actually started dancing. He grinned and stood up to dance with them, and some other members of the crowd joined in too. And then--
"Oh my god! Oh my god, they did it!"
"I know, I can't believe it!" Emma and Will turned to each other and hugged tight, swaying back and forth a little. There was a moment, in which they stared at each other and then--
She kissed him.
Emma kissed him.
He pulled away as quickly as he could and looked down at the field. Had Finn seen that? Fuck...
"Will, I thought, I mean, you were saying..."
He just shook his head. "I'm sorry, you misunderstood me. I mean, you're an amazing friend…"
She nodded, turning away from him. "I understand."
Will had more to say, but the roar of the crowd drowned out any words he could have said. Turned out McKinley won.
--
He really hated texting, because he wasn't very good at it. But he did when the occasion called for it (and Finn understood that any texts from Will, whose name was "Joey" in his phone book, were to be deleted immediately upon reading). (Finn didn't actually mind that part as it made him feel like a secret agent).
Will's text read, "Com 2 my car wen your done plz. We need 2 talk."
He spent the time waiting pretending he was cleaning his car. Eventually, he decided that Finn just wasn't coming, and went over to his door. And then he felt a tapping at his shoulder. It was Finn, eyes reddened and shoulders slumped. "Finn."
"I think that giving that solo to Rachel instead of Tina wasn't fair. And even if you're going to dump me, it's still true."
"…What? I'm not--."
"Really? I thought you'd already moved on..."
Will winced. "She kissed me. I pulled away as quickly as I could, I don't know why she did it, I swear."
"And what's been your problem lately?"
He took a step backwards and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Rachel found out about us."
"…Oh. That's why you're dumping me. Fucking Rachel..."
"She'll tell. She blackmailed me into giving her that solo. She could try to ruin your life. She's not like Puck."
"So this is over?"
"I just… Finn, it's not safe. The risks are huge… if people found out, you'd never be able to get a scholarship."
"Yeah? It's not worth the risk?"
"Finn…"
Finn glared at him, and then held up his hand, which was in some sort of splint.
"What happened?" gasped Will. "Are you okay?"
Finn shrugged. "I might never be able to play football again."
Will reached to embrace him but Finn stepped backward, shaking his head.
"'I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you' - you said that to me. I believed you."
"That was before, and I am, just not--"
"You lied. But you know, Mr Schu, you've taught me a lot. I guess this is just another one of your lessons. Be careful who you trust."
Will could feel the tears in his eyes threaten to spill. "She could ruin your life, don't you get that?"
Finn thrust his hand forward, showing the splint. "My life is already ruined. I never thought you'd have any part in that… but I guess I am kind of stupid."
He walked over to the nearby car where Puck was waiting, and they drove off.
--
Will actually accomplished quite a lot that weekend, seeing as he was doing anything he could to take his mind off things. He'd imagined that he should feel relieved right now, but all he could feel was guilt. Still, though, if it was for the best...
Finn, meanwhile, was fine. He and Puck had been friends since first grade, and were always there for each other. Puck knew, therefore, just what to do to make Finn feel better. They luxuriated in Puck's hot tub. They ate five pizzas between the two of them in one day. And they went to the strip club, which Finn didn't notice was directly across the street from Will's apartment. He had no idea that Will was looking out his window and saw them, Finn's arm around Puck's shoulders, Finn barely able to walk. Will wanted to run outside, get Finn, bring him back to his apartment - but he didn't. He went to his bed and lay down, and didn't sleep for the entire night.
--
Everything was normal the next day, except that Finn didn't come to him for tutoring. Will couldn't pretend to be surprised by that. Even Glee Club was fine, with Finn still putting the same effort he'd always put into his performance… and Rachel looking especially smug.
"Can you help me with my vocals for Somebody to Love?"
Will turned around quickly.
"Yeah, sure," replied Kurt.
"Thanks," said Finn, smiling at Kurt. Will had to fight hard to control his emotions. "Hey, are you taking the SAT? I have all these words I need to go over..."
"I can help!" exclaimed Rachel, hurrying over. "I already have index cards made, based on a statistical analysis of which words are most likely to be used."
Will left the room quietly.
--
Finn learned a lot from his mother and from football, namely, that you should never show weakness. Will didn't want to be with him anymore? Fine. Finn wasn't going to sit around and cry about that, because then Will would just feel bad for him, and Finn didn't need anyone's pity. Finn felt bad for Will, because Will was too scared and stupid to be with him, and what they had was awesome, but seriously, Finn didn't need Will! Finn was fine. His study group with Kurt and Rachel went really well, especially because they were both really willing to help him succeed.
The only bad thing was that he started failing Spanish, because Spanish reminded him of Will, and he tried to avoid the entire subject. What happened was really inevitable, he thought.
"Finn, please see me after class."
Finn did as he was told. "Yes, Mr Schuester?"
"You failed your last Spanish test, and you didn't do your homework, Finn."
Finn could see the bag's under Will's eyes - clear evidence that he wasn't sleeping. But Finn didn't want to feel bad for him. He wanted to feel angry. "Thanks for telling me, Mr Schuester."
"Finn... if you keep up like this, you'll fail the class. You know I don't want to fail you, but I'll have no choice."
Finn shrugged. "You always do the right thing, so I'll just trust your judgment."
Will winced. "C'mon, Finn, this is your future we're talking about."
Finn shrugged and looked at his hand, which was now in a cast. He looked back up at Will and shrugged. "It's not your problem."
Rachel poked her head into the classroom. "Finn, there you are!" She came into the room, smiled at Will, and then stood on her tiptoes to kiss Finn... who kissed her back. "Are you ready for our picnic?"
"Always," he said, taking her hand with his good one. "See you later, Mr Schuester."
--
Rachel was nice, okay? Seriously. She really liked Finn and wasn't afraid to show it. They could hold hands or kiss in the hallway and no one made a really big deal out of it (well, kind of a big deal, but they didn't get arrested or anything). She was also a great vocal coach, and an excellent cook. If Will was too scared to be with him, Finn thought that Rachel wasn't that bad of a replacement. Sure, she was the reason he and Will had broken up, technically - but Will could have been brave. They could have found a way. But they didn't. Being with Rachel wasn't that bad, really. If he didn't think about it too much, he could almost convince himself that he was happy.
--
Puck came into Will's office, shut the door, and flopped down on the chair across from Will's desk. "I thought teachers were supposed to be smart."
Will looked at him. "Excuse me?"
"Let's cut the bullshit, okay? I know what's going on. You dumped Finn because you're a scared little bitch, and now he's with Rachel, and it's pathetic."
"I don't know why you think his happiness is pathetic, Noah."
"Call me Puck. And he's not happy. Seriously, are you an idiot? How did you even get this teaching job?" He shook his head. "I know Finn. He's not happy. He's just trying to make the best out of the situation, but he's miserable."
"How do you know that?"
"It's obvious if you're not an idiot. So you'll just have to trust me that it's obvious."
"If you could keep the insulting comments to a minimum..."
"No! Why should I?" He pointed an accusing finger at Will. "You fucked up my best friend! You're lucky I don't beat you up right now! Here's an idea - why don't you grow a pair and get him back so you can both stop being miserable?"
"I never wanted to have to end things between us. I'm not sure if Finn told you this, but there are humongous risks involved, and I'm trying to protect him. Rachel knows, and she'd tell everyone."
"Then hide, or bribe Rachel, or something. I just wonder how being this miserable could possibly be worth it for you, man. I hear the shit you say to everyone - 'Follow your dreams, bullshit bullshit bullshit.' Don't you have any dreams? Did you ever? Or is this really what you want in your life?"
Will sighed. "I want things to be alright."
Puck stood, rolling his eyes. "Then go make them alright. Seriously man, this isn't as hard as you're making it! Fucking idiot..."
--
"You wanted to see me, Mr Schuester?"
"Yes, Rachel, I did. Look, I'm just going to be extremely honest with you, okay?"
Rachel's eyes narrowed. "Okay..."
"I know how important it is for you to succeed in Glee Club, and I will do absolutely everything I can to help with that. I also understand that you want a boyfriend, and Finn is a very good candidate for that. But..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I love him. I'm in love with him." He pulled out a sheet of paper from his desk. "This is an application for Julliard. Maybe you've heard of it? I will write you the best recommendation for its music program that I can. I'll write you a recommendation to any music program. I'll give you any solo you want. You can blackmail me from now until the end of time. But I love him. I'll do anything to be with him again. Please, Rachel." He came to realize, belatedly, that he was crying. Fuck. But then again, so was Rachel.
"I'm tired of being alone, Mr Schuester."
"So am I."
Finn poked his head into the room. "...Do I get any say in this?"
Rachel swallowed and nodded. "Whatever you decide, Finn... I'll respect your decision."
Finn walked closer and looked from Rachel to Will. "I want to be with him... but only if he's not a coward. Only if he thinks it's worth the risks."
"I was scared, Finn, I was just trying to protect you. And all I did was fuck everything up and make us both miserable... Finn, I'm sorry. I love you. I never stopped."
Finn sighed. "I'm sorry, Rach."
She blew her nose with a pink handkerchief. "It's okay. I guess Mr Schu is pretty awesome."
"Yeah... he is."
She looked at them for a moment, before realizing her cue to leave. Finn pointed a finger at Will. "Don't fuck with me like that again, okay?"
"Finn, I'm so sorry for letting my fear control me."
"Just don't do it again, okay?"
Will nodded, and Finn gave him a half smile. Finn reached a hand out to tangle his fingers in Will's curls, and pulled him into a kiss. Will ran his hands up and down Finn's arms, wondering how he could have ever given this up.
--
They kissed for a long time in Will's office, because school was over and neither of them could find it within themselves to stop. Eventually, though, they did. Finn rubbed one of the bags under Will's eyes with gentle fingers, the other arm still tight around him. He gave a small, sympathetic smile. "Haven't been sleeping well?"
Will shook his head. "You either, from the looks of it."
"Well, I've been sleeping on the couch because there's a leak in my room, and school has been a lot harder without you tutoring me and... I missed you."
Will nodded, taking it all in. Finn. This amazing boy who he'd tried to protect, but just hurt. He hugged Finn tightly. "Wanna not have to sleep on a couch tonight?"
Finn looked at Will curiously, eyebrows raised. "You're going to fix our roof?"
Will bit his lip before realizing that Finn was joking. "Not quite."
--
If Will was going to be honest, he was scared to death. The only person he'd ever shared his bed with was Terri - but he really, really wanted Finn there. Now that he had Finn back, he wanted to be as close to him as possible. Luckily, Finn felt the same way, so that after a concerted effort to get Finn to his apartment without being seen, and a bit of awkwardness, they made it to the bed.
"Sometimes, when I... get reallyreally excited... I think of this time when I was learning to drive and I accidentally hit a mailman."
"...Oh?"
"It hasn't really happened with you, thank God, maybe because it's not just about sex, but umm... I'd really like to avoid it right now."
Will smiled. "So you're saying you just want to go to sleep?"
"Pretty much, if that's okay."
The truth was that Finn wanted to wait a little longer until he absolutely sure that Will wasn't going to leave again. Because all of his time in Celibacy Club had taught him that sex was supposed to be special, and not with someone who was going to leave you. Not that Will was... he sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"Just... don't leave again, okay? No matter what happens."
"What about when you go to college? Then you'll be leaving me."
Finn frowned. He hadn't thought about that - as college as something that might actually happen. "Well, you can come with me."
"...Umm, Finn, I've already graduated college..."
"No, I know that, I mean... I'll go to college and you can move there too, and teach. You want to get out of Lima too, don't you?"
Truthfully, Will had never really considered that. He'd resigned himself to living in Lima forever, but maybe that didn't have to be the case.
"I don't know. First we have to get you a scholarship somewhere..."
Finn looked at Will intently. "Promise me that you're not going to freak out again, or leave me, or whatever."
Will nodded. "I can't guarantee that I won't freak out again... but if I do, I won't leave. I promise."
Finn really had no idea how his future would go. His had his dreams, but he had a long way to go before achieving them. And it wouldn't be easy, not even a little. He'd always worked hard for everything good in his life, and now was no different.
He nodded slightly, and kissed Will. The most important thing was that he had hope. He knew things wouldn't be perfect now that he and Will were back together, but as long as they were together, things would be okay.
-THE END!-
(of the beginning)
PS - This probably isn't the end. But you know, for now. And as cliched as this is to say, knowing that people want to read more of this will help motivate me to write more. Even though I probably will anyway.
OH YEAH! I SHOULD THANK SOME PEOPLE!
venacavaa, my muse, the Finn to my Will, who held my hand and made me keep writing even when I was stuck and wanted to quit. She is fantistiawesomamazing.
perivates, one of my real life BFFs, who actually wrote a few sentences of the first chapter that I just couldn't get out right. She gave me the confidence to let people read this in the first place. <3<3<3
tempusfugit321, also an awesome real life friend of mine who shares all the same fandoms with me. He's really important, because this story originally had an entirely different (really lame) plot, and he advised me to do something different. Thank you, kind sir. Your excellence will not soon be forgotten.
And You, reader, who is somehow still reading this. I wrote this because I love Winn and I love writing, but knowing that other people love it too makes it awesome. I feel like Rachel, after busting out an awesome solo. Thanks for supporting this little creative endeavor of mine, and be sure to let me know what you want to read in a sequel.
...And, I'm out. Uh-peace!