Fic: Sure Fire Winners (part 1)
First of all: I joined LJ *just* to be part of this awesome community. I've never used LJ before so I might get stuff wrong. If I messed something up posting this, please let me know straight away and we'll fix it :)
The story. Two things you should consider before reading:
- My first fanfic ever.
- Not my native language so bad grammar might occur. Hope you can live with it!
It shall mostly be romantic, and probably won’t end up having smut at all. Too embarrassed to let my incredible Winn obsessiveness slip that far :) Hope you enjoy. Leave a word or three.
----
Graduation day.
Finn had thought about this day for so many times before, but until yesterday it had always seemed like a distant thing taking place somewhere far, far in the future. Now that it was here, he felt more scared than excited. Instead of being happy to make it this far, he wanted to run to the opposite direction. To tell the world to stop spinning so he could take a deep breath and stop for a while. Stop and think, get his head straight.
He wasn’t sure why he felt that way, but he decided it was because he still didn’t know what he wanted out of life, or where he would end up after McKinley. So, he was stumbling through the graduation day like a zombie, seeing the familiar routines happen to himself instead of some older friend or a relative. He had witnessed it all so many times before, and been excited knowing it was gonna happen to him some day. And here it was, the day that meant the end of this hell called high school. He tried to be excited, to laugh and joke with Puck and his teammates about how wasted they were gonna get this evening, and how they were gonna invite a thousand hot girls down to their house party at Puck’s.
Finn kept telling everyone it was about the happiest day of his life, but couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. He was lying to himself, to everyone. He had no idea where this was coming from. He’d never been big on analyzing his, or anyone else’s feelings for that matter, but today he had to struggle to find out why it was he felt so sad.
Sad? Was it really sadness?
-
It was lunchtime. Finn was following the other guys to the cafeteria. He heard them talking and laughing but couldn’t really concentrate on anything they were on about. He was walking in this haze, that just wouldn’t go away. He asked himself several questions, like: am I sad cause I will be losing most of these friends when we just stop keeping in touch? Is it because I’m gonna miss Glee club? I never got back together with Rachel, is that what’s making me sad? Should I tell her I still care?
But to all of these questions the answer was “no”. He was now desperate to find out what this was, or to start feeling happy and carefree like all the other students graduating today.
They were getting closer to the cafeteria, and Finn decided to pay more attention to the guy talk. He’d been staring at his feet, following the group like a blind man, following their familiar voices. He lifted up his gaze and was surprised by the crowd in the hallway and in the cafeteria. So many people. It was like the number of students had suddenly doubled. He looked around, nodded to a few familiar faces, throwing a quick high-five to Mike Chang as they walked pass him.
Suddenly, Finn stopped, causing a couple of girls walking behind him bump into him. They gave him annoyed looks as they walked around him, but he didn’t notice or say sorry. He just stood there, feeling a heavy jolt in his stomach. He felt like he couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, like someone had punched his chest and his lungs had collapsed by the force of it. He couldn’t move, he just stood there staring at the hallway.
He saw Mr. Schue.
And suddenly Finn knew. He knew what was wrong. He knew what he would be missing, why he didn’t want to leave. He was so shocked by the thought, that he had to swallow hard to keep the tears from his eyes. His mind went totally blank, and he absent-mindedly lifted his hand over his heart. He felt as if it was gonna jump out of his chest and land right there in front of him on the floor.
He couldn’t believe what he was feeling right now, or the strength of its grip on his insides. His mind idly registered the knowledge that this didn’t happen just now. That he’d had these feelings for a long time. Then he felt a bit angry at his own mind and heart for not telling him earlier. He’d kept a secret from himself and couldn’t understand how such a thing was possible.
And suddenly, like he could feel the weight of Finn’s stare, Mr. Schue looked up and straight into his eyes, ignoring everyone around them, the students passing by, covering his view by short flashes. The teacher put on a half-smile, but then his expression turned - Finn could swear - to sad. He seemed to leave a sentence unfinished, and the girls he was talking to were staring at him with question marks over their heads. He looked at Finn for what felt like an eternity, although it was less than ten heartbeats. Finn couldn’t move. He just stared back. He thought about smiling, but he was paralyzed.
“What the fck man?” Puck said to his ear and hit him hard on the arm. Finn shook himself, felt his cheeks redden and turned to his friend mumbling random words, making no sense.
“Sorry, uhh, I thought I forgot something.. stuff. Yeah, you go, I’ll be right with you guys”, he said and turned around. He wanted to get away from the hallway, he needed to be alone. Most of all, he wanted to go over and talk to Mr. Schue, see if the pain in his chest would go away and everything would go back to normal. But he couldn’t, he was just in shock and in pain, and so utterly afraid. He wanted to hide, but being as tall as he was, he knew Schue would see him rush out bumping into people. If he cared, which he probably didn’t. He dashed towards a corner in the hallway, and he just had to glance back before disappearing from his teacher’s view.
Schue was looking at him with a worried face. Just standing there and looking after him.
Finn turned the corner and a moment later found himself in the men’s room, doubling over the sink. He was gagging, but nothing came out. He leaned against the sink, running cold water and wiping his face with it.
“You ok?” a silent voice said from the door.
Of course he had come after him. Of course the worst had to happen. Finn closed his eyes shut, willing his teacher to disappear.
“Yeah. Just nervous”, Finn tried to say with an even voice. He couldn’t look up yet. He heard Mr. Schue shift at the door, hesitating. He so wanted to look at him, see if the heart squeeze would happen again.
“Ok, I’ll just leave you alone if you want.. I saw you leave and you looked like there was something wrong so I had to.. come and see if you’re ok. You gonna be ok?”, he asked, but when he didn’t get an answer he just took the two steps to reach Finn and patted his back awkwardly. Finn shuddered under his touch, and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. His teacher moved away from him, but stopped at the door to let Finn know they were gonna meet up in the choir room in a moment.
Finn heard him leave the men’s room with silent steps.
--
TO BE CONTINUED, soon. I have a few chapters in my backpocket already (as posting this). Let me know if you like it!!
PART TWO
The story. Two things you should consider before reading:
- My first fanfic ever.
- Not my native language so bad grammar might occur. Hope you can live with it!
It shall mostly be romantic, and probably won’t end up having smut at all. Too embarrassed to let my incredible Winn obsessiveness slip that far :) Hope you enjoy. Leave a word or three.
----
Graduation day.
Finn had thought about this day for so many times before, but until yesterday it had always seemed like a distant thing taking place somewhere far, far in the future. Now that it was here, he felt more scared than excited. Instead of being happy to make it this far, he wanted to run to the opposite direction. To tell the world to stop spinning so he could take a deep breath and stop for a while. Stop and think, get his head straight.
He wasn’t sure why he felt that way, but he decided it was because he still didn’t know what he wanted out of life, or where he would end up after McKinley. So, he was stumbling through the graduation day like a zombie, seeing the familiar routines happen to himself instead of some older friend or a relative. He had witnessed it all so many times before, and been excited knowing it was gonna happen to him some day. And here it was, the day that meant the end of this hell called high school. He tried to be excited, to laugh and joke with Puck and his teammates about how wasted they were gonna get this evening, and how they were gonna invite a thousand hot girls down to their house party at Puck’s.
Finn kept telling everyone it was about the happiest day of his life, but couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. He was lying to himself, to everyone. He had no idea where this was coming from. He’d never been big on analyzing his, or anyone else’s feelings for that matter, but today he had to struggle to find out why it was he felt so sad.
Sad? Was it really sadness?
-
It was lunchtime. Finn was following the other guys to the cafeteria. He heard them talking and laughing but couldn’t really concentrate on anything they were on about. He was walking in this haze, that just wouldn’t go away. He asked himself several questions, like: am I sad cause I will be losing most of these friends when we just stop keeping in touch? Is it because I’m gonna miss Glee club? I never got back together with Rachel, is that what’s making me sad? Should I tell her I still care?
But to all of these questions the answer was “no”. He was now desperate to find out what this was, or to start feeling happy and carefree like all the other students graduating today.
They were getting closer to the cafeteria, and Finn decided to pay more attention to the guy talk. He’d been staring at his feet, following the group like a blind man, following their familiar voices. He lifted up his gaze and was surprised by the crowd in the hallway and in the cafeteria. So many people. It was like the number of students had suddenly doubled. He looked around, nodded to a few familiar faces, throwing a quick high-five to Mike Chang as they walked pass him.
Suddenly, Finn stopped, causing a couple of girls walking behind him bump into him. They gave him annoyed looks as they walked around him, but he didn’t notice or say sorry. He just stood there, feeling a heavy jolt in his stomach. He felt like he couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, like someone had punched his chest and his lungs had collapsed by the force of it. He couldn’t move, he just stood there staring at the hallway.
He saw Mr. Schue.
And suddenly Finn knew. He knew what was wrong. He knew what he would be missing, why he didn’t want to leave. He was so shocked by the thought, that he had to swallow hard to keep the tears from his eyes. His mind went totally blank, and he absent-mindedly lifted his hand over his heart. He felt as if it was gonna jump out of his chest and land right there in front of him on the floor.
He couldn’t believe what he was feeling right now, or the strength of its grip on his insides. His mind idly registered the knowledge that this didn’t happen just now. That he’d had these feelings for a long time. Then he felt a bit angry at his own mind and heart for not telling him earlier. He’d kept a secret from himself and couldn’t understand how such a thing was possible.
And suddenly, like he could feel the weight of Finn’s stare, Mr. Schue looked up and straight into his eyes, ignoring everyone around them, the students passing by, covering his view by short flashes. The teacher put on a half-smile, but then his expression turned - Finn could swear - to sad. He seemed to leave a sentence unfinished, and the girls he was talking to were staring at him with question marks over their heads. He looked at Finn for what felt like an eternity, although it was less than ten heartbeats. Finn couldn’t move. He just stared back. He thought about smiling, but he was paralyzed.
“What the fck man?” Puck said to his ear and hit him hard on the arm. Finn shook himself, felt his cheeks redden and turned to his friend mumbling random words, making no sense.
“Sorry, uhh, I thought I forgot something.. stuff. Yeah, you go, I’ll be right with you guys”, he said and turned around. He wanted to get away from the hallway, he needed to be alone. Most of all, he wanted to go over and talk to Mr. Schue, see if the pain in his chest would go away and everything would go back to normal. But he couldn’t, he was just in shock and in pain, and so utterly afraid. He wanted to hide, but being as tall as he was, he knew Schue would see him rush out bumping into people. If he cared, which he probably didn’t. He dashed towards a corner in the hallway, and he just had to glance back before disappearing from his teacher’s view.
Schue was looking at him with a worried face. Just standing there and looking after him.
Finn turned the corner and a moment later found himself in the men’s room, doubling over the sink. He was gagging, but nothing came out. He leaned against the sink, running cold water and wiping his face with it.
“You ok?” a silent voice said from the door.
Of course he had come after him. Of course the worst had to happen. Finn closed his eyes shut, willing his teacher to disappear.
“Yeah. Just nervous”, Finn tried to say with an even voice. He couldn’t look up yet. He heard Mr. Schue shift at the door, hesitating. He so wanted to look at him, see if the heart squeeze would happen again.
“Ok, I’ll just leave you alone if you want.. I saw you leave and you looked like there was something wrong so I had to.. come and see if you’re ok. You gonna be ok?”, he asked, but when he didn’t get an answer he just took the two steps to reach Finn and patted his back awkwardly. Finn shuddered under his touch, and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. His teacher moved away from him, but stopped at the door to let Finn know they were gonna meet up in the choir room in a moment.
Finn heard him leave the men’s room with silent steps.
--
TO BE CONTINUED, soon. I have a few chapters in my backpocket already (as posting this). Let me know if you like it!!
PART TWO