Essay || Hitsugaya || Overview of Pre-Series History
I suppose the best place to start would be the very beginning, so that I can just roll chronologically through time. Another thing I should probably mention is that this mostly pertains to my own RP version of Hitsugaya and my own personal interpretation of canon events.
RUKONGAI
Early childhood is where most development happens, and things that go wrong in early development will affect people their entire lives. It's how a lot of baddies and anti-social characters are explained away. Hitsugaya certainly wasn't abused. He wasn't even neglected technically. His grandmother and Hinamori treated him well and took care of him. The problem was everyone else. Most people didn't want to be anywhere near him, refused to talk to him, and were flat out afraid of him when he'd done nothing to provoke such behavior. Quite possibly the worst idea anyone can instill in a child is that his very existence is his sin.
Now, keep in mind that this wasn't expanded on in canon at all. In the one chapter Kubo gave us that delved into it, it was, however, very clear that Hitsugaya was extremely withdrawn out of necessity. He looked down at the ground when he walked, he spent his free time leaning against trees and thinking, he was in no hurry to go anywhere or come back home, he hid behind the old lady while he watched Hinamori's friends run off. I've seen other people's interpretations go so far as to assume that he was bullied, considered a monster, blamed for things he didn't do because people were afraid of him. I wouldn't go that far. He was not anti-social enough for that. I think in that case, he would have been more likely to try to prove to people that he really was as bad as they said he was. Instead, he stuck to himself, which made me think that so long as he didn't get too close to people, nobody really cared what he did. The scene in the shop was a sign of that. The man didn't say anything derogatory or act like Hitsugaya was subhuman. He just didn't want to get any closer to Hitsugaya than he absolutely had to be. In the end, one can't entirely blame him because Hitsugaya's leaking spiritual pressure probably made him feel cold and ill. That isn't to say that one or two bullying episodes couldn't have happened in order to instill that mindset within Hitsugaya. I wouldn't be surprised if other kids occasionally treated him badly from afar - perhaps even throwing rocks - but I'm pretty sure their guardians would have put a stop to it quickly.
In that chapter, he also never said anything positive about anyone out loud. In his inner monologue, he explained that Granny and Hinamori never said he was "cold like ice," and that that was why he liked them. This too implies that most of the mistreatment Hitsugaya received was verbal and was overheard rather than said to his face, revealing the first obvious reason for his burning desire to gain approval. He never got it.
His actual dialogue was a far cry from that short blurb in his head. It was obvious that he cared deeply for the old lady as well as Hinamori, and watching Hinamori leave was the last thing he wanted to do, but instead he insulted her and told her to never come back. His excuse was that she wasn't leaving forever so it didn't matter. Hinamori wasn't allowed to see him upset. The same was true of the other extreme. The only time he looked remotely happy was when he was alone with his grandmother. His excitement about going out to buy amanattou could have been simply because it was his favorite food, but there was also a sense of that "LET ME DO IT PLEASE I CAN DO IT" sort of urgency in the way he held himself. It made me think he wanted to do it to make sure his granny didn't have to or even just to hear her praise him.
When he described people in the same chapter, he stuck with physical attributes. Hinamori's hair was longer. Granny was thinner. He hadn't grown any taller. He paid attention to how they looked and how they acted, but he wasn't anywhere near as familiar with what they might have felt, illustrated by how scared he was when he talked to his grandmother about leaving and how surprised he was when she supported him, even though she'd supported him from the very beginning.
He did not have the best sense of other people's emotions back then, and even in current canon, he was very black and white about it all. Unlike a great deal of the other characters in the series, his emotions were never outwardly complicated. When someone wronged him, he got pissed off. When something annoyed him, he got aggravated. When someone made him happy, he pretended he wasn't. He hid his emotions in very childish ways, such as outright refusing to acknowledge them despite how obvious they were, and he didn't accept any misguided or overly emotional reasoning behind anyone's negative actions. He only allowed himself to focus on one emotion at a time. Despite that flashback chapters provided proof that the Fifth and Tenth Divisions got along very well before Aizen's betrayal, the moment Aizen betrayed them, any positive feelings Hitsugaya had ever held for the man were erased instantaneously, and Hitsugaya was consumed with the need to end Aizen's existence. He had no problems like Hinamori's desperate denial or Matsumoto's hesitance. Wanting justice was not a deciding factor so much as revenge. Hitsugaya held the grudge to end all grudges. Again, this was made possible because he didn't allow himself to feel anything that would lessen his anger. Once he dropped into his homicidal rage, that was all he was. Nothing else penetrated. Another childish trait. Children don't have the same inhibitions as most adults; they don't really think about the consequences that other people will face due to their actions until after they make them.
Just because he viewed emotions in such a simple, clean-cut way, however, did not mean his emotions actually were that simple. What he did was ignore any emotions that hindered his goal of killing Aizen. Confusion and hesitance were overrun by betrayal and anger. Helplessness was overrun by irrational determination. He told himself he would do the impossible, and when he wasn't able to, he got back up and told himself he just needed to work harder in order to do it. In that way, Hitsugaya was always somewhat of a ticking time bomb. His determination and stubbornness kept him going through insurmountable hardships. It was what allowed him to be such a powerful warrior. The moment that determination leaves him, though, will be the moment it all ends.
But now I'm getting ahead of myself.
Leaving Rukongai was a big deal for Hitsugaya. Hinamori had already left, and if he left, his grandmother would be all alone. If he didn't leave, however, he would have eventually killed her. The moment he heard that, that was it. He had no choice but to go. Luckily, Matsumoto was quick to inform him that he would be leaving in order to learn how to control his reiatsu so that the same problem would never happen again. She gave him a solution to work toward. Give Hitsugaya a way to fix a problem, and he will do everything in his power to master it. The fact that he went from his first step into Seireitei to being captain of the Tenth Division in about two years is the ultimate proof of that.
DIAMONDDUST REBELLION
My own application included information from DiamondDust Rebellion to fill in Academy years, so I'll cover that next.
During flashback scenes in the movie, they went so far as to depict Hitsugaya smiling and laughing. I attribute this to two things. First, Kusaka was likely the first one to talk to him like another human being after he left home. I doubt he already had complete control over his reiatsu, but everyone attending classes at the Academy would have been less susceptible, and stronger students would have been less susceptible still. Thus Kusaka, who was talented enough to achieve shikai while still a student, didn't have a problem. Kusaka treated him well and actually wanted to spend time with him, so Hitsugaya appreciated his company and, like his grandmother, would be willing to let himself openly enjoy time spent with him. Second, adrenaline and thrills. I have no trouble at all imagining Hitsugaya enjoying certain spars or challenging training exercises. In a school setting, he would not be fighting for his life, and he would be learning rapidly. Hitsugaya could definitely have had a bit of fun and gotten a little cocky around a small number of people.
That all ended when Hitsugaya and Kusaka both achieved shikai with the same zanpakutou spirit. The order to fight to the death fit the rather disturbing trend that seemed to follow Hitsugaya throughout the entire series: He must hurt everyone he cares about. As soon as he was able to attain the power and experience he needed to control his reiatsu and speak to his zanpakutou spirit, he was forced to use it in a fatal battle with his friend. He did not initiate the final strike, but they fought, and Hitsugaya won. Hitsugaya, as ridiculous and one-track as his logic has always been, equated that to killing him. He could have lost, therefore since he didn't die himself, he killed Kusaka.
One can only imagine what Hitsugaya was likely directly afterward. I assume they had to knock him out, as his knee-jerk reaction to others hurting his friends was always that special, patented suicide charge. It was clear that the way he was before Kusaka's death and the way he was at his introduction into the series was very different. At some point after he woke up again, he must have decided that he had no choice but to reach the very top. Obviously being able to control his reiatsu was not enough because he still ended up being helpless in the situation the Central 46 had created. He likely made that decision very quickly, but I have no doubt there was a short amount of time during which he was still in shock, trying to figure out what had happened and why. He likely shifted through every possible outcome in his mind and agonized over it for several days. It isn't difficult for me to picture him as mostly unresponsive to outside stimulus during this time and then suddenly, making his decision and silently walking away.
That is possibly what I loved most about the movie. It gave Hitsugaya a very clear, concise moment in time in which he went from the mindset of Rukongai brat to Captain of the Tenth Division. No doubt that anyone who didn't approve of the movie could rationalize the change as being simply a gradual process brought about by his core personality: once he started training he needed to keep pushing his limits because nothing was ever enough. I preferred DDR because it quickly made Hitsugaya's motives for rising through the ranks clear, despite the fact that he had never wanted to be a shinigami in the first place.
Hitsugaya Toushirou always fought in order to prevent other people from experiencing what he did. He fought for victims, disregarding his own problems in order to dedicate himself to protecting others. It was always very easy for me to compare Hitsugaya and Kurosaki, and perhaps the best way to do so was to say that Hitsugaya was simply Kurosaki if he hadn't taken the vigilante route. Rather than Kurosaki's jumping in and disputing orders and causing chaos to instigate results, Hitsugaya intended to rise in both power and authority. With authority, he would be able to prevent even more situations like his own. That, however, didn't mean he was willing to submit himself, and whenever he received orders he felt he couldn't follow, he simply didn't follow them. He never identified completely with the Gotei 13. Rather, he planned to use it as long as it suited his goals.
PRE-SERIES
Unfortunately, over time such a mindset became extremely damaging. Rather than dedication, one could call it an unhealthy selflessness. He didn't put others above himself so much as disregard himself entirely. The haste with which he was constantly willing to sacrifice himself in the series was matched only by the agony he felt each time he was unable to protect Hinamori.
This manifested itself in smaller ways as well. When someone he cared about was affected by something, it was never their fault. His grandmother bore no blame for never telling him what he was doing. Kusaka bore no blame for striking the first blow. Hinamori bore no blame for attacking him because of Aizen's letter. Instead, he blamed the enemy, and if there was no enemy in the situation, the blame fell on him. He was hurting his grandmother; even though he had had no control over it, it was still his fault. He killed Kusaka, even though the Central 46 ordered the fight. All of Hinamori's shortcomings after Aizen's defection were Aizen's fault, and if Aizen wasn't there to blame, than it was his own fault for letting it happen under his watch. Matsumoto no doubt recognized his trait early on and took advantage of it. If Matsumoto didn't do her paperwork, it was his fault for not keeping a close enough watch on her. But knowing that trait also led her to cut the act the moment anything became serious because there was no doubt that he would take the burden upon himself and once more push himself past his limits.
In the end, that was really all Hitsugaya ever learned how to do. If something went wrong, he had to fix it. He fixed it by getting stronger. When that didn't work, he had to fix it. He fixed it by getting stronger. An endless loop.
And that was where the series began. With a strict, cold, pint-sized captain who was willing to release shikai against another captain and break into the Central 46 headquarters and who fell at the hands of Aizen Sousuke far too easily for him to ever accept.
RUKONGAI
Early childhood is where most development happens, and things that go wrong in early development will affect people their entire lives. It's how a lot of baddies and anti-social characters are explained away. Hitsugaya certainly wasn't abused. He wasn't even neglected technically. His grandmother and Hinamori treated him well and took care of him. The problem was everyone else. Most people didn't want to be anywhere near him, refused to talk to him, and were flat out afraid of him when he'd done nothing to provoke such behavior. Quite possibly the worst idea anyone can instill in a child is that his very existence is his sin.
Now, keep in mind that this wasn't expanded on in canon at all. In the one chapter Kubo gave us that delved into it, it was, however, very clear that Hitsugaya was extremely withdrawn out of necessity. He looked down at the ground when he walked, he spent his free time leaning against trees and thinking, he was in no hurry to go anywhere or come back home, he hid behind the old lady while he watched Hinamori's friends run off. I've seen other people's interpretations go so far as to assume that he was bullied, considered a monster, blamed for things he didn't do because people were afraid of him. I wouldn't go that far. He was not anti-social enough for that. I think in that case, he would have been more likely to try to prove to people that he really was as bad as they said he was. Instead, he stuck to himself, which made me think that so long as he didn't get too close to people, nobody really cared what he did. The scene in the shop was a sign of that. The man didn't say anything derogatory or act like Hitsugaya was subhuman. He just didn't want to get any closer to Hitsugaya than he absolutely had to be. In the end, one can't entirely blame him because Hitsugaya's leaking spiritual pressure probably made him feel cold and ill. That isn't to say that one or two bullying episodes couldn't have happened in order to instill that mindset within Hitsugaya. I wouldn't be surprised if other kids occasionally treated him badly from afar - perhaps even throwing rocks - but I'm pretty sure their guardians would have put a stop to it quickly.
In that chapter, he also never said anything positive about anyone out loud. In his inner monologue, he explained that Granny and Hinamori never said he was "cold like ice," and that that was why he liked them. This too implies that most of the mistreatment Hitsugaya received was verbal and was overheard rather than said to his face, revealing the first obvious reason for his burning desire to gain approval. He never got it.
His actual dialogue was a far cry from that short blurb in his head. It was obvious that he cared deeply for the old lady as well as Hinamori, and watching Hinamori leave was the last thing he wanted to do, but instead he insulted her and told her to never come back. His excuse was that she wasn't leaving forever so it didn't matter. Hinamori wasn't allowed to see him upset. The same was true of the other extreme. The only time he looked remotely happy was when he was alone with his grandmother. His excitement about going out to buy amanattou could have been simply because it was his favorite food, but there was also a sense of that "LET ME DO IT PLEASE I CAN DO IT" sort of urgency in the way he held himself. It made me think he wanted to do it to make sure his granny didn't have to or even just to hear her praise him.
When he described people in the same chapter, he stuck with physical attributes. Hinamori's hair was longer. Granny was thinner. He hadn't grown any taller. He paid attention to how they looked and how they acted, but he wasn't anywhere near as familiar with what they might have felt, illustrated by how scared he was when he talked to his grandmother about leaving and how surprised he was when she supported him, even though she'd supported him from the very beginning.
He did not have the best sense of other people's emotions back then, and even in current canon, he was very black and white about it all. Unlike a great deal of the other characters in the series, his emotions were never outwardly complicated. When someone wronged him, he got pissed off. When something annoyed him, he got aggravated. When someone made him happy, he pretended he wasn't. He hid his emotions in very childish ways, such as outright refusing to acknowledge them despite how obvious they were, and he didn't accept any misguided or overly emotional reasoning behind anyone's negative actions. He only allowed himself to focus on one emotion at a time. Despite that flashback chapters provided proof that the Fifth and Tenth Divisions got along very well before Aizen's betrayal, the moment Aizen betrayed them, any positive feelings Hitsugaya had ever held for the man were erased instantaneously, and Hitsugaya was consumed with the need to end Aizen's existence. He had no problems like Hinamori's desperate denial or Matsumoto's hesitance. Wanting justice was not a deciding factor so much as revenge. Hitsugaya held the grudge to end all grudges. Again, this was made possible because he didn't allow himself to feel anything that would lessen his anger. Once he dropped into his homicidal rage, that was all he was. Nothing else penetrated. Another childish trait. Children don't have the same inhibitions as most adults; they don't really think about the consequences that other people will face due to their actions until after they make them.
Just because he viewed emotions in such a simple, clean-cut way, however, did not mean his emotions actually were that simple. What he did was ignore any emotions that hindered his goal of killing Aizen. Confusion and hesitance were overrun by betrayal and anger. Helplessness was overrun by irrational determination. He told himself he would do the impossible, and when he wasn't able to, he got back up and told himself he just needed to work harder in order to do it. In that way, Hitsugaya was always somewhat of a ticking time bomb. His determination and stubbornness kept him going through insurmountable hardships. It was what allowed him to be such a powerful warrior. The moment that determination leaves him, though, will be the moment it all ends.
But now I'm getting ahead of myself.
Leaving Rukongai was a big deal for Hitsugaya. Hinamori had already left, and if he left, his grandmother would be all alone. If he didn't leave, however, he would have eventually killed her. The moment he heard that, that was it. He had no choice but to go. Luckily, Matsumoto was quick to inform him that he would be leaving in order to learn how to control his reiatsu so that the same problem would never happen again. She gave him a solution to work toward. Give Hitsugaya a way to fix a problem, and he will do everything in his power to master it. The fact that he went from his first step into Seireitei to being captain of the Tenth Division in about two years is the ultimate proof of that.
DIAMONDDUST REBELLION
My own application included information from DiamondDust Rebellion to fill in Academy years, so I'll cover that next.
During flashback scenes in the movie, they went so far as to depict Hitsugaya smiling and laughing. I attribute this to two things. First, Kusaka was likely the first one to talk to him like another human being after he left home. I doubt he already had complete control over his reiatsu, but everyone attending classes at the Academy would have been less susceptible, and stronger students would have been less susceptible still. Thus Kusaka, who was talented enough to achieve shikai while still a student, didn't have a problem. Kusaka treated him well and actually wanted to spend time with him, so Hitsugaya appreciated his company and, like his grandmother, would be willing to let himself openly enjoy time spent with him. Second, adrenaline and thrills. I have no trouble at all imagining Hitsugaya enjoying certain spars or challenging training exercises. In a school setting, he would not be fighting for his life, and he would be learning rapidly. Hitsugaya could definitely have had a bit of fun and gotten a little cocky around a small number of people.
That all ended when Hitsugaya and Kusaka both achieved shikai with the same zanpakutou spirit. The order to fight to the death fit the rather disturbing trend that seemed to follow Hitsugaya throughout the entire series: He must hurt everyone he cares about. As soon as he was able to attain the power and experience he needed to control his reiatsu and speak to his zanpakutou spirit, he was forced to use it in a fatal battle with his friend. He did not initiate the final strike, but they fought, and Hitsugaya won. Hitsugaya, as ridiculous and one-track as his logic has always been, equated that to killing him. He could have lost, therefore since he didn't die himself, he killed Kusaka.
One can only imagine what Hitsugaya was likely directly afterward. I assume they had to knock him out, as his knee-jerk reaction to others hurting his friends was always that special, patented suicide charge. It was clear that the way he was before Kusaka's death and the way he was at his introduction into the series was very different. At some point after he woke up again, he must have decided that he had no choice but to reach the very top. Obviously being able to control his reiatsu was not enough because he still ended up being helpless in the situation the Central 46 had created. He likely made that decision very quickly, but I have no doubt there was a short amount of time during which he was still in shock, trying to figure out what had happened and why. He likely shifted through every possible outcome in his mind and agonized over it for several days. It isn't difficult for me to picture him as mostly unresponsive to outside stimulus during this time and then suddenly, making his decision and silently walking away.
That is possibly what I loved most about the movie. It gave Hitsugaya a very clear, concise moment in time in which he went from the mindset of Rukongai brat to Captain of the Tenth Division. No doubt that anyone who didn't approve of the movie could rationalize the change as being simply a gradual process brought about by his core personality: once he started training he needed to keep pushing his limits because nothing was ever enough. I preferred DDR because it quickly made Hitsugaya's motives for rising through the ranks clear, despite the fact that he had never wanted to be a shinigami in the first place.
Hitsugaya Toushirou always fought in order to prevent other people from experiencing what he did. He fought for victims, disregarding his own problems in order to dedicate himself to protecting others. It was always very easy for me to compare Hitsugaya and Kurosaki, and perhaps the best way to do so was to say that Hitsugaya was simply Kurosaki if he hadn't taken the vigilante route. Rather than Kurosaki's jumping in and disputing orders and causing chaos to instigate results, Hitsugaya intended to rise in both power and authority. With authority, he would be able to prevent even more situations like his own. That, however, didn't mean he was willing to submit himself, and whenever he received orders he felt he couldn't follow, he simply didn't follow them. He never identified completely with the Gotei 13. Rather, he planned to use it as long as it suited his goals.
PRE-SERIES
Unfortunately, over time such a mindset became extremely damaging. Rather than dedication, one could call it an unhealthy selflessness. He didn't put others above himself so much as disregard himself entirely. The haste with which he was constantly willing to sacrifice himself in the series was matched only by the agony he felt each time he was unable to protect Hinamori.
This manifested itself in smaller ways as well. When someone he cared about was affected by something, it was never their fault. His grandmother bore no blame for never telling him what he was doing. Kusaka bore no blame for striking the first blow. Hinamori bore no blame for attacking him because of Aizen's letter. Instead, he blamed the enemy, and if there was no enemy in the situation, the blame fell on him. He was hurting his grandmother; even though he had had no control over it, it was still his fault. He killed Kusaka, even though the Central 46 ordered the fight. All of Hinamori's shortcomings after Aizen's defection were Aizen's fault, and if Aizen wasn't there to blame, than it was his own fault for letting it happen under his watch. Matsumoto no doubt recognized his trait early on and took advantage of it. If Matsumoto didn't do her paperwork, it was his fault for not keeping a close enough watch on her. But knowing that trait also led her to cut the act the moment anything became serious because there was no doubt that he would take the burden upon himself and once more push himself past his limits.
In the end, that was really all Hitsugaya ever learned how to do. If something went wrong, he had to fix it. He fixed it by getting stronger. When that didn't work, he had to fix it. He fixed it by getting stronger. An endless loop.
And that was where the series began. With a strict, cold, pint-sized captain who was willing to release shikai against another captain and break into the Central 46 headquarters and who fell at the hands of Aizen Sousuke far too easily for him to ever accept.