ukiss | want to be more
Want to be more
Soohyun/Kiseop | pg13 | 1398w
Kiseop wants to help an upset Soohyun, but Soohyun doesn't let him in.
Soohyun stood on the balcony, staring down at the city with all it's bright lights. If he squinted it looked like the city was on fire, like it was burning down right in front of him. He sensed a presence next to him, but he didn't look. He heard the other sigh and could imagine the slight frown that surely would have appeared by now.
After a few more minutes of standing there in silence, the first drops of rain started to fall. Soohyun looked up, before finally glancing at the one beside him. They locked eyes for a moment, but he looked away as soon as he saw that the other wanted to say something.
“You should go inside,” Soohyun said, his tone emotionless.
“If it means you're coming inside too...”
Soohyun looked at the railing of the balcony, gripping it tightly as soon as he heard the words said by the other boy.
“Kiseop-ah...just go. You will catch a cold if you stay here any longer.”
Kiseop rolled his eyes. “As if you won't.”
At any other time, Soohyun would have laughed and given in, but he didn't want to now. He just wanted Kiseop to leave him alone, let him drown in his thoughts and give him some time to get everything straight.
“Hyung...tell me. Tell me what's wrong, tell me what I've done wrong. Please.” Soohyun heard the pleading tone, made the mistake of glancing at Kiseop thus seeing the sad glint in those eyes. He couldn't help but want to comfort the other boy, holding him in his arms, saying everything will be alright and that he was just being stupid.
He gripped the railing tighter, telling himself not to give in. He hated himself for doing this, but wasn't this the right thing to do?
“Hyung...please...hyung....Soohyun-shii...” Kiseop whined. When Soohyun still didn't answer he slid closer, pulling at his arm, trying to get the others hand to release the iron grip it had on the railing.
“Don't...” Soohyun whispered, “Just don't. Go inside, please.”
Kiseop stood still, his hands still on Soohyun's arm. He pulled one last time, but gave up in the end and started to walk away.
“You have to come inside at one point, I'll wait for you.” And with that he disappeared inside the dorm.
--
It started to rain harder and harder, and although Soohyun wanted to stay outside, he knew Kiseop was right and he would catch a cold if he stayed any longer. He got up from the ground and stretched his legs which had gotten limp from the unmoving state he was in. He didn't know how long he had been outside, but it must have been longer than he thought, since the lights inside the dorm were out.
He opened the balcony doors and stepped inside, bumping his feet in the progress. But instead of his feet bumping into something hard, they bumped into a soft lump. Soohyun turned on the light and looked down. He found a sleeping Kiseop against the wall.
He smiled sadly upon realizing that the boy had fallen asleep waiting for him. Kiseop looked really uncomfortable, shivering slightly when a cold wind from outside went inside the dorm. Soohyun closed the balcony doors, sliding them closed very softly so they didn't make a sound. He didn't want to wake the other up, so he tried to think of a way to get the boy in a more comfortable place, preferably in a bed or on a couch.
Carefully he picked the boy up, cradling him against his chest. Kiseop stirred slightly, but he didn't seem to wake up. Soohyun decided to just bring him to their room. He laid Kiseop on the bed, deciding to switch their places and sleep on the ground himself.
He had just finished laying the blankets out on the floor, when Kiseop woke up.
“Soohyun-hyung?” He croaked, his voice still thick with sleep.
Soohyun turned around and saw the younger boy staring at him sleepily.
“Just go back to sleep, Kiseop-ah.”
Kiseop seemed to think about it for a moment, before he shook his head in confusion.
“Hyu-ung....you should sleep on the bed.” He already made a move to get up, but he was pushed back by Soohyun.
“Hyung?”
“It's alright, I'll sleep at the ground for once. Now, go back to sleep.” Soohyun ruffled the other's hair, before turning around. He went to lay down, but a hand grabbed his arm.
“If you're not letting me sleep on the ground, I'm not going to let you either.” Kiseop pulled Soohyun back towards the back, and he only stopped when Soohyun sat down. He gave a little push on the older boy's shoulder, until he finally laid down. Satisfied, Kiseop laid down beside him.
Kiseop turned on to his side, looking at Soohyun who was just staring at the ceiling, purposely avoiding looking at the other boy. Kiseop sighed.
“Tell me. Tell me what's wrong...please.”
When Soohyun didn't answer, Kiseop rubbed his arm gently. Scooting closer and laying his head on Soohyun's shoulder, he repeated his sentence again.
When Soohyun just shook his head, Kiseop sighed again, this time out of frustration.
“Hyung...I want to help you. Please. It kills me to see you so...so...upset. If it's something I've done, something that I've done wrong, just tell me so I can make it up to you. But don't give me this silent treatment. Please.”
Kiseop looked intently at Soohyun's face and he was shocked to see tears falling down. He hugged the other boy closer, who just flinched away from the touch.
“Soohyun? What's bothering you? Oh...hyung...”
The pleading tone broke Soohyun. He was trying to help the younger boy, but it seemed that the only thing he did was making the boy sad.
“I...” it came out as a croack, sounding as if he hadn't spoken in a long time. “I just...don't want you to see me different.”
Kiseop tightened his hold, finally figuring out what was bothering the other one.
“Hyung...really, it's just some rumor that some fans made up. Everyone who's close enough to you knows that nothings going on between you and Jo Kwon. You're best friends, that's all.”
“But what...what if it's true? Not the part with Jo Kwon, but...”
Kiseop was silent for a while, not really knowing what would be the best answer to that.
“It would affect our friendship...wouldn't it? It's already affecting it now....” Soohyun said sadly.
“No, hyung!” Kiseop protested. “It wouldn't change a thing. You'd still be my friend, no matter what.”
“What if I want to be more...?” Soohyun said, but it came out so softly, that Kiseop didn't understand it properly.
“What did you say?” Kiseop nudged him to say it again.
“What if I don't want us to be just friends?” He said, turning his head and looking Kiseop in the eye.
“You mean...” Seeing as that Kiseop hadn't freaked out yet, Soohyun decided that it was now or never. He turned completely, facing Kiseop and reached out a shaking hand. He traced Kiseop's jaw, leaning in and pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss.
It wasn't a pressing, or overruling kiss. It was more like a question, a way to say that Kiseop could decide what the next step would be.
Soohyun pulled back slowly, looking into Kiseop's eyes to see if he could find an answer. But Kiseop closed his eyes, closing off the emotions, keeping them to himself.
A turmoil went on his head. He knew that the next decision could change everything, would change everything. After a couple of minutes, he heard his name being whispered softly. He opened his eyes, to see Soohyun staring at him fearfully, afraid of the answer.
Kiseop tried to get the words out, but he just didn't know how to say them. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed Soohyun softly.
“Like this?” Kiseop smiled, before he pulled back. Soohyun looked at him in confusion, not understanding what he was talking about at first. Then he understood that Kiseop was answering his earlier question.
Soohyun smiled back, pulling the boy a little closer before answering.
“Yeah, like that.”
Soohyun/Kiseop | pg13 | 1398w
Kiseop wants to help an upset Soohyun, but Soohyun doesn't let him in.
Soohyun stood on the balcony, staring down at the city with all it's bright lights. If he squinted it looked like the city was on fire, like it was burning down right in front of him. He sensed a presence next to him, but he didn't look. He heard the other sigh and could imagine the slight frown that surely would have appeared by now.
After a few more minutes of standing there in silence, the first drops of rain started to fall. Soohyun looked up, before finally glancing at the one beside him. They locked eyes for a moment, but he looked away as soon as he saw that the other wanted to say something.
“You should go inside,” Soohyun said, his tone emotionless.
“If it means you're coming inside too...”
Soohyun looked at the railing of the balcony, gripping it tightly as soon as he heard the words said by the other boy.
“Kiseop-ah...just go. You will catch a cold if you stay here any longer.”
Kiseop rolled his eyes. “As if you won't.”
At any other time, Soohyun would have laughed and given in, but he didn't want to now. He just wanted Kiseop to leave him alone, let him drown in his thoughts and give him some time to get everything straight.
“Hyung...tell me. Tell me what's wrong, tell me what I've done wrong. Please.” Soohyun heard the pleading tone, made the mistake of glancing at Kiseop thus seeing the sad glint in those eyes. He couldn't help but want to comfort the other boy, holding him in his arms, saying everything will be alright and that he was just being stupid.
He gripped the railing tighter, telling himself not to give in. He hated himself for doing this, but wasn't this the right thing to do?
“Hyung...please...hyung....Soohyun-shii...” Kiseop whined. When Soohyun still didn't answer he slid closer, pulling at his arm, trying to get the others hand to release the iron grip it had on the railing.
“Don't...” Soohyun whispered, “Just don't. Go inside, please.”
Kiseop stood still, his hands still on Soohyun's arm. He pulled one last time, but gave up in the end and started to walk away.
“You have to come inside at one point, I'll wait for you.” And with that he disappeared inside the dorm.
--
It started to rain harder and harder, and although Soohyun wanted to stay outside, he knew Kiseop was right and he would catch a cold if he stayed any longer. He got up from the ground and stretched his legs which had gotten limp from the unmoving state he was in. He didn't know how long he had been outside, but it must have been longer than he thought, since the lights inside the dorm were out.
He opened the balcony doors and stepped inside, bumping his feet in the progress. But instead of his feet bumping into something hard, they bumped into a soft lump. Soohyun turned on the light and looked down. He found a sleeping Kiseop against the wall.
He smiled sadly upon realizing that the boy had fallen asleep waiting for him. Kiseop looked really uncomfortable, shivering slightly when a cold wind from outside went inside the dorm. Soohyun closed the balcony doors, sliding them closed very softly so they didn't make a sound. He didn't want to wake the other up, so he tried to think of a way to get the boy in a more comfortable place, preferably in a bed or on a couch.
Carefully he picked the boy up, cradling him against his chest. Kiseop stirred slightly, but he didn't seem to wake up. Soohyun decided to just bring him to their room. He laid Kiseop on the bed, deciding to switch their places and sleep on the ground himself.
He had just finished laying the blankets out on the floor, when Kiseop woke up.
“Soohyun-hyung?” He croaked, his voice still thick with sleep.
Soohyun turned around and saw the younger boy staring at him sleepily.
“Just go back to sleep, Kiseop-ah.”
Kiseop seemed to think about it for a moment, before he shook his head in confusion.
“Hyu-ung....you should sleep on the bed.” He already made a move to get up, but he was pushed back by Soohyun.
“Hyung?”
“It's alright, I'll sleep at the ground for once. Now, go back to sleep.” Soohyun ruffled the other's hair, before turning around. He went to lay down, but a hand grabbed his arm.
“If you're not letting me sleep on the ground, I'm not going to let you either.” Kiseop pulled Soohyun back towards the back, and he only stopped when Soohyun sat down. He gave a little push on the older boy's shoulder, until he finally laid down. Satisfied, Kiseop laid down beside him.
Kiseop turned on to his side, looking at Soohyun who was just staring at the ceiling, purposely avoiding looking at the other boy. Kiseop sighed.
“Tell me. Tell me what's wrong...please.”
When Soohyun didn't answer, Kiseop rubbed his arm gently. Scooting closer and laying his head on Soohyun's shoulder, he repeated his sentence again.
When Soohyun just shook his head, Kiseop sighed again, this time out of frustration.
“Hyung...I want to help you. Please. It kills me to see you so...so...upset. If it's something I've done, something that I've done wrong, just tell me so I can make it up to you. But don't give me this silent treatment. Please.”
Kiseop looked intently at Soohyun's face and he was shocked to see tears falling down. He hugged the other boy closer, who just flinched away from the touch.
“Soohyun? What's bothering you? Oh...hyung...”
The pleading tone broke Soohyun. He was trying to help the younger boy, but it seemed that the only thing he did was making the boy sad.
“I...” it came out as a croack, sounding as if he hadn't spoken in a long time. “I just...don't want you to see me different.”
Kiseop tightened his hold, finally figuring out what was bothering the other one.
“Hyung...really, it's just some rumor that some fans made up. Everyone who's close enough to you knows that nothings going on between you and Jo Kwon. You're best friends, that's all.”
“But what...what if it's true? Not the part with Jo Kwon, but...”
Kiseop was silent for a while, not really knowing what would be the best answer to that.
“It would affect our friendship...wouldn't it? It's already affecting it now....” Soohyun said sadly.
“No, hyung!” Kiseop protested. “It wouldn't change a thing. You'd still be my friend, no matter what.”
“What if I want to be more...?” Soohyun said, but it came out so softly, that Kiseop didn't understand it properly.
“What did you say?” Kiseop nudged him to say it again.
“What if I don't want us to be just friends?” He said, turning his head and looking Kiseop in the eye.
“You mean...” Seeing as that Kiseop hadn't freaked out yet, Soohyun decided that it was now or never. He turned completely, facing Kiseop and reached out a shaking hand. He traced Kiseop's jaw, leaning in and pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss.
It wasn't a pressing, or overruling kiss. It was more like a question, a way to say that Kiseop could decide what the next step would be.
Soohyun pulled back slowly, looking into Kiseop's eyes to see if he could find an answer. But Kiseop closed his eyes, closing off the emotions, keeping them to himself.
A turmoil went on his head. He knew that the next decision could change everything, would change everything. After a couple of minutes, he heard his name being whispered softly. He opened his eyes, to see Soohyun staring at him fearfully, afraid of the answer.
Kiseop tried to get the words out, but he just didn't know how to say them. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed Soohyun softly.
“Like this?” Kiseop smiled, before he pulled back. Soohyun looked at him in confusion, not understanding what he was talking about at first. Then he understood that Kiseop was answering his earlier question.
Soohyun smiled back, pulling the boy a little closer before answering.
“Yeah, like that.”