The Very Unexpected Diary of Bofur
Title: The Very Unexpected Diary of Bofur
Author: windfallswest
Fandom: The Hobbit
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: <----
Notes: In an impressive fit of procrastination, am finishing up An Unexpected Journey before starting in on Desolation of Smaug. Cross-posted to AO3 and hobbitfilmfic.
The Very Unexpeted Diary of Bofur
Day 1
Have not had good night's sleep in a week. Fili and Kili making noise at all hours. Bombur snoring too loud to notice. Didn't even wake up when Gloin shaved top of his head.
Day 60
Not sure about this Bilbo fellow; can't even take a little sexual innuendo.
Day 97
Knew I brought that mattock along for a reason.
Day 108
Bombur says at least half of Company now shagging. Maybe will organise make-out party as morale- and team-building activity. Disco ball I found in Elrond's back closet would be just the thing.
Day 118
Left Rivendell today; glad to finally see the back of that place! Far too peaceful: Balin has been using me as test subject for poncy hair-plaitng techniques. Luckily, hat hides multitude of sins.
Day 166
That is one fuck-ugly orc. I would spend all my life crouching down dark hole too if had goiter larger than whole head flapping around.
Day 169
Would be surprised Thorin and burglar not gotten it together by now, but am starting to suspect both lacking the good sense Mahal gave a mustard seed, as well as any sense of self-preservation. Disagree with Bombur: Bifur may not have to kill them whether or not they try anything.
Author: windfallswest
Fandom: The Hobbit
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: <----
Notes: In an impressive fit of procrastination, am finishing up An Unexpected Journey before starting in on Desolation of Smaug. Cross-posted to AO3 and hobbitfilmfic.
The Very Unexpeted Diary of Bofur
Day 1
Have not had good night's sleep in a week. Fili and Kili making noise at all hours. Bombur snoring too loud to notice. Didn't even wake up when Gloin shaved top of his head.
Day 60
Not sure about this Bilbo fellow; can't even take a little sexual innuendo.
Day 97
Knew I brought that mattock along for a reason.
Day 108
Bombur says at least half of Company now shagging. Maybe will organise make-out party as morale- and team-building activity. Disco ball I found in Elrond's back closet would be just the thing.
Day 118
Left Rivendell today; glad to finally see the back of that place! Far too peaceful: Balin has been using me as test subject for poncy hair-plaitng techniques. Luckily, hat hides multitude of sins.
Day 166
That is one fuck-ugly orc. I would spend all my life crouching down dark hole too if had goiter larger than whole head flapping around.
Day 169
Would be surprised Thorin and burglar not gotten it together by now, but am starting to suspect both lacking the good sense Mahal gave a mustard seed, as well as any sense of self-preservation. Disagree with Bombur: Bifur may not have to kill them whether or not they try anything.