Fic: Wish I May Wish I Might

[windblownfire]

Pairing: Mercutio/Romeo
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: angst, boy love, and serious issues with grammatical tense. Please forgive. 
Summary: Tempers and passions run high on hot summer nights... the boys get drunk, but wishes on stars do not survive in the daylight.

Comments

[pargoletta]

I really like this! You have a fine touch with description -- especially the first couple of sentences, where you're setting the scene. I could see and feel that hot, scrubby hillside. Your writing is vivid and present, but it never feels over the top. It's intense, but then, so are the circumstances; alcohol will do that to people, and you really nailed the unreal buzz of being just the far side of pleasantly drunk.

As for the tenses situation, I think this is one of those relatively uncommon pieces that really works best when it's in the present tense. Just my two cents, though.

[windblownfire]

Thank you! Feedback means a lot to me. Do you think it would benefit from being entirely in present tense? The rough draft was. I love this pairing, this is actually a prequel to a much longer fic I wrote about the two of them, which I will post.

[pargoletta]

Yes, this is definitely a story that would benefit from being entirely in the present tense. It's a very present kind of story, all about being in the moment, disconnected from both the past and the future.