First of all, congrats on the pregnancy! Can't believe I missed that.
And you're not the bad guy in the friend situation. You've done nothing wrong. I don't really know what kind of advice to give, but she really has no business making you feel guilty just because there's nothing for her to do to "help." Just being a friend to you during this exciting time in your life should be enough.
Right? It's like she wants to help; but when she can't it's my fault. It doesn't make any sense (and I thought pregnant women were supposed to be the emotional/nonsensical ones...).
She claims she's not one for the 'spotlight', but if that were true she wouldn't be making such a big deal, right?
Maybe it's a good thing we didn't move up to Mass. a year or so ago. 'Cause I think if I had to deal with her being like this up close I'd have to do something rash...
I had a friend that I went through the same thing with when I was pregnant. She needed to be doing things for me all the time and I just didn't have anything I needed done that she could do, or that I wanted someone else to do. *Snuggles* You shouldn't feel like the bad guy. Tell her if she wants to do something it's fine, but maybe tell her that you'd like a surprise so she can come up with something on her own and you can not stress over it. If it's a good or bad surprise, at least it's not something you're counting on so you can be happy regardless. Just a though.
You are so not the bad guy, but I know how you feel. It's hard to have a friend who wants so badly to do something when you have nothing for them atm.
I'm the type that if someone around me isn't happy it effects my mood. So this is going to bring me down until she tells me we are cool. And I don't need that stress/bad feeling/karma right now. But I don't want to be pushing her away, 'cause she is my dearest friend who I can bitch and complain about my family to (she does the same with me).
You are definately not the bad guy here, sometimes friends just can't always handle not being the centre of our lives. It is understandable to be all about baby when you are pregnant, especially if it was something you were planning and therefore looking forward to, your friends all of them will hopefully see that this is special time for you and your hubby/partner, it's a time that no-one other than the two of you, can really fully experience, any true friends will recognise that as a gift and let you enjoy it.
I have a friend of close onto 10 years who told me yesterday that unless I agreed not to d/l the new season of spn (she wants me to wait until the UK airing in Feb next year) and to cut contact ith my online spn friends, then she saw no future in our friendship as I didnt need her anymore!!! people can be crazy!!
sometimes friends just can't always handle not being the centre of our lives.
It's just driving me a little crazy, 'cause normally she's not like this. It's like she a 5 year old who's just been told that her parents are bringing home a new baby, and she can't deal with not being the center of attention. And that's not her usual M.O. So I'm getting confused.
any true friends will recognise that as a gift and let you enjoy it.
And that's what makes me sad. I think I'm only a 'good friend' to her as long as we are in the same 'place'/on the same playing field. Like I was supposed to wait to get pregnant so that we could go through it together... Or something, I don't know.
Wow a friend of 10 years is going to 'dump' you over a TV show, that's a little messed up. Priorities, people. That's all I'm saying.
Whoa, whoa. Girl's (Chelsea) out of line. Sounds like even though she doesn't like the 'spotlight', she damn well does.
She sounds like me, but to an extreme. I don't like children at all, I don't get excited when people are pregnant. I just don't. But when one of my friends is pregnant I don't pout and throw a 'pity me' fest because no one is paying attention to me.
She needs to get over herself and ACTUALLY support you, like she's saying she's trying to. But from that conversation, she is trying to will you to her schedule and it damn well should be the other way around.
*hugs* You shouldn't fret about it, you're certainly not that bad guy, and you have far too much to worry about right now to cater to her attention problems. ♥
But when one of my friends is pregnant I don't pout and throw a 'pity me' fest because no one is paying attention to me.
this does sound like what she's doing, doesn't it?
She needs to get over herself and ACTUALLY support you, like she's saying she's trying to. But from that conversation, she is trying to will you to her schedule and it damn well should be the other way around.
And the thing that worries me is that I'll cave eventually. She is a Very strong willed personality and I'm a much weaker personality/people pleaser (it's almost a joke between her and I). But I know I have to break out of that. And start thinking of my baby/me/my family (yes pretty much in that order). I just don't want to lose her friendship. But if it comes to it I'll seriously drop her in a second if she continues being like this.
WTF kind of friend is that, you are so totally not in the wrong there... way to spoil your pregnancy...
Let me at her
See this is why I love my f-list so much. Y'all stick up for me. And you have my back no matter what (like certain other friends who shall remain nameless Chlesea*).
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And you're not the bad guy in the friend situation. You've done nothing wrong. I don't really know what kind of advice to give, but she really has no business making you feel guilty just because there's nothing for her to do to "help." Just being a friend to you during this exciting time in your life should be enough.
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Right? It's like she wants to help; but when she can't it's my fault. It doesn't make any sense (and I thought pregnant women were supposed to be the emotional/nonsensical ones...).
She claims she's not one for the 'spotlight', but if that were true she wouldn't be making such a big deal, right?
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That was my thought exactly. She's being a bit of a drama queen.
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You are so not the bad guy, but I know how you feel. It's hard to have a friend who wants so badly to do something when you have nothing for them atm.
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I'm the type that if someone around me isn't happy it effects my mood. So this is going to bring me down until she tells me we are cool. And I don't need that stress/bad feeling/karma right now. But I don't want to be pushing her away, 'cause she is my dearest friend who I can bitch and complain about my family to (she does the same with me).
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I have a friend of close onto 10 years who told me yesterday that unless I agreed not to d/l the new season of spn (she wants me to wait until the UK airing in Feb next year) and to cut contact ith my online spn friends, then she saw no future in our friendship as I didnt need her anymore!!! people can be crazy!!
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Thanks, I needed to hear that.
sometimes friends just can't always handle not being the centre of our lives.
It's just driving me a little crazy, 'cause normally she's not like this. It's like she a 5 year old who's just been told that her parents are bringing home a new baby, and she can't deal with not being the center of attention. And that's not her usual M.O. So I'm getting confused.
any true friends will recognise that as a gift and let you enjoy it.
And that's what makes me sad. I think I'm only a 'good friend' to her as long as we are in the same 'place'/on the same playing field. Like I was supposed to wait to get pregnant so that we could go through it together... Or something, I don't know.
Wow a friend of 10 years is going to 'dump' you over a TV show, that's a little messed up. Priorities, people. That's all I'm saying.
*Snuggles*
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She sounds like me, but to an extreme. I don't like children at all, I don't get excited when people are pregnant. I just don't. But when one of my friends is pregnant I don't pout and throw a 'pity me' fest because no one is paying attention to me.
She needs to get over herself and ACTUALLY support you, like she's saying she's trying to. But from that conversation, she is trying to will you to her schedule and it damn well should be the other way around.
*hugs* You shouldn't fret about it, you're certainly not that bad guy, and you have far too much to worry about right now to cater to her attention problems. ♥
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*Cuddles*
But when one of my friends is pregnant I don't pout and throw a 'pity me' fest because no one is paying attention to me.
this does sound like what she's doing, doesn't it?
She needs to get over herself and ACTUALLY support you, like she's saying she's trying to. But from that conversation, she is trying to will you to her schedule and it damn well should be the other way around.
And the thing that worries me is that I'll cave eventually. She is a Very strong willed personality and I'm a much weaker personality/people pleaser (it's almost a joke between her and I). But I know I have to break out of that. And start thinking of my baby/me/my family (yes pretty much in that order). I just don't want to lose her friendship. But if it comes to it I'll seriously drop her in a second if she continues being like this.
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WTF kind of friend is that, you are so totally not in the wrong there... way to spoil your pregnancy...
Let me at her
Dx
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WTF kind of friend is that, you are so totally not in the wrong there... way to spoil your pregnancy...
Let me at her
See this is why I love my f-list so much. Y'all stick up for me. And you have my back no matter what (like certain other friends who shall remain nameless Chlesea*).
Thanks hon *cuddles*
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