Fic: Now That It's Done - Part Four [ER]
Title: Now That It's Done - Part Four [ER]
Rating: PG 13
Ship: Kerry Weaver/Kim Legaspi
Disclaimer: Not mine; never were! No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Ten years after Kim's departure from Chicago, she runs into Kerry in Miami. After a hasty invitation, Kim appears on Kerry's doorstep.
Previous Chapters: ( Part One) ( Part Two) (Part Three)
~
Kerry wasn't sure if the knock at her door was a knock at her door.
This 'hipster electric' music her assistant had given her to help her 'chill out' made it hard to tell if the many clangs, bangs and sounds were part of the 'sonic landscape' or if they were actual sounds. And while it was often calming, with the lulling of the wave of sounds blending with the sounds of the actual waves outside her house, tonight it was playing tricks on her. Throughout the night she thought she'd hear the doorbell chime when it hadn't, or her phone ring when it didn't. Which didn't make sense because she hadn't given Kim an address or a number to go with her invitation to stop by. Kim's reappearance had her flustered and Kerry Weaver was not a woman who enjoyed fluster. She enjoyed peace, and order, and logic and...a nice glass of red. In fact, she rose to pour herself one when the sound happened again. It was most definitely a knock. "Kerry? It's Kim!" Kerry rushed to the door then paused and counted to five to collect herself so she wouldn't look like she was rushing before she opened the door.
"Kim!" She exclaimed, "Come on in!"
"Kerry! I'm so glad I'm at the right house!" She turned to wave at the car which had dropped her off then stepped into Kerry's house. "I was out there realizing that it's past eleven and I could potentially be knocking loudly at some stranger person's door. Beautiful house by the way."
"Thanks - how did you ev-"
"Carla. I wasn't sure if the invitation was still open, so I figured I'd just stop by - not give you a chance to say no." Kim was nervous, Kerry realized, taking in the other woman's rambling. She reached out and took the younger woman's hand in her own, "I was about to pour myself a glass of wine, can I get you anything?"
"Sure, I'll have whatever you're having."
"Great." Still holding her hand, she lead Kim to the large and airy kitchen, brightly lit and gleaming. "I wouldn't have said no. I'm glad you came." Kerry admitted as she began to busy herself with with wine when she heard Kim speak from where she was sitting at the bar stools by the counter. "What was that?" Kerry turned around, placing a glass of red before the other woman, then pulling up a bar stool on the other side of the counter so they could be face to face.
"I said," Kim cleared her throat, "You would have every right to say no. I was pretty awful the last time we saw each other." She took a sip of wine. "Nice, Australian?"
"No, Californian, it's 100% Malbac, so it's pretty smooth." Kerry explained, taking a deep breath and looking into the ruby red in her own glass. "Kim, I could dance around it, and you could dance around it - but I just-the last time we saw each other, I put you in an awful situation and you will NEVER know how sorry I am for that. We both reacted poorly. Luckily," She took a sip, "We grow. And I hope that that is something we can put behind us?"
"Yes!" Kim stuck out her hand from across the counter and beamed, her blue eyes sparkling. Just how much wine had Kim had to work up the courage to come over, Kerry thought. "Hi, I'm Kim, and you are?"
"Kerry. Kerry Weaver." Kerry laughed as she shook her friend's hand.
"Well Kerry, it's very nice to meet you. You have a lovely house, do you always invite strange blonde ladies in for wine?"
"Only the beautiful ones." Oh God - why are you flirting? Why are you flirting? Why are you flirting? Kerry's internal voice shrieked loudly at her. Unfortunately, Kerry sat there, mesmerized by Kim's smile, and their hands touching and -
"I forgot how beautiful you are, Kerry." What? She couldn't mean in. She was at her best attractive, but not beautiful. Beauty was a strong label to throw around. Besides, that was supposed to be her line.
The sound of a thundering herd of elephants suddenly filled the room, which could only mean one thing - Henry was running down the stairs. Kerry stood, breaking her contact with Kim's hand and braced for her son's arrival. Henry was her pride and joy, her reason for being and the reason for her sleepless nights and worry lines. "Mommommommommom!" He called out, sliding into the tiled kitchen in his stocking feet, "Can I watch one more episode? Please? Donna just became a robot and the Doctor and River have to save her!" He looked up at her, his big brown eyes pleading and his hands were clasped in prayer, buried in still-too-long sleeves of his Chicago Blackhawks jersey his grandparents had given him last Christmas. "Please?" He repeated, sticking his lower lip out into a pout. He was playing with her, he didn't really pout and plead, but it helped him feel more like other children, like he was finagling something extra from his mom, so she went along with it - although most of the time, Kerry found it hard not to laugh at her son's efforts. "Henry, can you say hello to our guest first?" She asked, nodding her head towards Kim. "Then can I watch 'Forest of the Dead'?"
"Henry." She warned.
"Hello, my name Henry Weaver. I'm very pleased to meet you." Kerry watched in delight as he stood on his tip-toes and held out his sleeve-covered hand towards Kim. To her credit, the younger woman did her best attempt at hiding her giggles as she shook his hand. "Very nice to meet you Henry. My name's Kim Legaspi. You know, I have a jersey just like it. I borrowed it from my brother about 15 years ago and I never gave it back."
"Wow. That makes you very old." Henry responded in grave earnestness and Kerry couldn't hold back her laughter anymore.
"Yes, yes it does." Kim handled the moment tactfully - "Almost as old as you mom here." Well, almost tactfully.
"Hen, you know today's Kim's birthday? What do we say to people on their birthdays?" Kerry asked, once she got herself under control.
"Happy Birthday? Happy Birthday Kim Legaspi. Or, do you prefer Kimberly?"
Kerry reached onto the metal storage rack to pull down some plates and paused briefly. She watched Henry through the eyes of the other woman - he was precocious to be sure, smart, well-behaved and polite. In some ways, his very adult mannerisms reminded her of her own upbringing - how Sandy would've loved to watch Henry in moments like this. "Well Henry, most people call me Kim. My mother only calls me Kimberly when I'm in trouble."
"Do you get into trouble a lot?"
"Not a lot... but more than I'd like." Kim laughed. "What do people call you?"
"Well, at school they call me Henry W. 'cause we have a Henry T. as well. And mami and papi call me mijo and mom calls me Henry or Hen, and sometimes she forgets that I'm 8 and will still call me baby, but I'm not a baby anymore, am I mom?"
"Nope, you're my little man. Now, how would you two feel about some birthday cake?"
"Birthday Cake?!" Both of them turned to Kerry, excitement on their faces.
"Yes, birthday cake. And it's almost midnight, so we'll have to eat it fast, otherwise it won't be Kim's birthday!"
"Can we light candles and everything?" Henry asked, watching as Kerry pulled out a glass dome which protected a simple white frosted cake.
"I'd love to honey, but I don't think they're enough candles in the house." Kerry teased, watching as Henry pulled up a stool beside Kim.
"You can say anything you want, Weaver, as long as I get some cake!" Kim responded, "Right Henry?"
"Right!"
"Smart kid - I think we're gonna get along just fine!" Kerry's mind picked up on that comment and filed it away for examination at a later time. With less wine. "You know Ker," Kim said, accepting her piece of cake, "You didn't have to bake me a cake - the flowers were more than enough! What would you have done if I hadn't shown up? You didn't give me your address after all."
"Henry and I would have had this delicious cake for breakfast." Kerry replied with an air of what she hoped was confidant nonchalantness (was that even a word? She wondered) as she settled down across from her friend and her son and taking a bite off her own slice. "Besides, I didn't make it for you. I wanted to try a new recipe." She dipped her head down to hide the blush she was all but certain would be spreading across her face as she lied. "What do you think?"
"I think you still cook when you're nervous." Kim responded quietly. "I also think this cake is delicious. What do you say, Henry?"
"More please?" He asked, his eyes gleaming and frosting smeared across his mouth as he held up his empty plate.
"I think..." Kerry began, smiling at her son "That one piece of cake is enough. Especially right before bed."
"Bed? But you said I could watch one more episode!"
"I did not." Kerry rose and collected the empty plates. "You asked if you could and I distracted you with cake. I never once said you could."
"But...but... Donna! In the library!"
"Henry - how many times have you seen this episode?"
"Four, but..."
"No buts. You know they save her. Now, PJ's, brush your teeth, bed. I'll be by soon. I love you." She smiled at her son as she kissed him goodnight and watched him trudge out of the kitchen. He stopped and turned around and Kerry put on her best 'I'm Serious' face. But was surprised with him waving past her, "Goodnight Kim."
"Goodnight Henry."
The kitchen stood silent for a few minutes, save for the music, as Kerry finished cleaning the dishes and poured them some more wine. She could feel Kim's eyes on her. Or, specifically, on what was no longer on her. She settled down on her stool across from Kim and responded to the question. "Five years ago. Surgery."
"Hard?"
"Worth it."
"I didn't want to say anything earlier, in front of Carla, wasn't sure how much you wanted people to know."
"Thank you. They know, Carla and Pete. I'm still pretty private, but I'm not the same Kerry. People change."
"People change." She watched as Kim raised her glass to mid-air to toast her before taking a sip.
"How about you Kim? What's changed in your life?"
"One thing at a time Kerry, I'm bored of my life, I'd like to hear more about yours. What's the most interesting thing to happen to you?"
"Recently? You." Kerry was tired - the events and the emotions of the day caught up with her.
"Honesty is always one approach."
"It's my only approach." Kerry confessed. "I find it makes things easier."
"I'll keep that in mind. Do you keep in touch with many people from County?"
"Not many - a few."
"Carter?"
"Carter. Last time I went back was at the opening of the Clinic Carter opened."
"Good for him. I'm sure it meant a lot to have you there. You meant a lot to him, Ker." Kerry watched in detached curiosity as Kim reached out and placed a hand on her wrist.
"He meant a lot to me. More than I think I ever told him. Uh -" She didn't want to get emotional, not tonight. "Abby and Luka went off to Boston. We do the Christmas and Birthday card route. Elizabeth, oddly enough, pops into town once or twice a month - we go out for dinner."
"As in Corday? Who'd sooner kick the crutch out from under you than be nice?"
"We learned we can be nice to each other so long as we're not working together. Besides..." This seemed as good a time as any to address the unspoken topic of Kim's interest. "She was there for me when Sandy...when Sandy died." She noticed the weight of Kim's hand lift off of her wrist. "I suppose grief will do that, bring out the other sides in people."
"Do you want to talk about Sandy?" Kim asked, looking down at her wine glass.
"No. But I figured you should hear it from me. I know you saw Henry's photo in my office."
"I did. What do you want me to know right now, about Sandy?"
"I..." Kerry paused, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to talk about the bad things, the custody battles, the lonely nights. "I loved her, and she died too soon and she's been gone longer than we were together, but I still miss her."
"Ok." She watched as Kim digested this information. "Ok."
*
"Ok." Kim absorbed this information. It was weird to think of Kerry having a tragic, romantic love affair - this was the woman who was so distant, so impersonal that it took months of working together before she could call her 'Kerry' without fear of being Weaver-ed. 'Ok."
"Your turn." Kim groaned as the woman before her smiled up, "Kimberly Legaspi, Doctor extraordinaire escapes from the clutches of County General for the safe haven of San Francisco, then what?"
"Then?" Kim thought, "Nothing."
"Nothing? Kim, I refuse to believe that in 10 years nothing of note happened to you." Kerry laughed, draining the last of her wine.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you - but nothing. Of note anyways. I'm still working, I have friends, I go out, life has been...steady" Too steady, she thought to herself silently "...the last few years. I don't know - it's just...been. Until Miami that is." She really didn't know why she was getting into this. She didn't want to, but here it was, the legendary Legaspi word vomit. "You know I wasn't even supposed to come to the conference? My boss's daughter got sick so he sent me to take his place and present his findings."
"Well..." She watched as Kerry figured out what to say. Way to go, make the widow feel awkward and sad for you, she berated herself. "If you wouldn't mind a professional opinion, Doctor?" Kerry asked, looking up from playing with the stem of her wine glass
"I'd love one, Doctor. Wait - are you even a doctor still here?" She asked, "Because I don't want some quack diagnosing me. If I did, I'd have stayed in San Francisco!" She laughed.
"Kim, you're deflecting." Damn it, she was. "See, I was listening to you when you'd talk to me. Most of the time. When you had your clothes on, anyways." Kerry teased lightly. "You are in your mid-30's; you've stayed in one city longer than you ever have in your entire life, you've probably watched most of your friends get married, or at least partner off, and though you most likely enjoy your job, you may not enjoy your life as much as you think you should and you can't help but wonder why, when you look out across the table during Sunday brunch how come you're still alone, and everyone else has found their missing sock of a partner."
"Well..." Shell shock would be an accurate description of the variety of emotions she felt pouring over her body at Kerry's words.
"Now, I'm only guessing here -"
"It's a hell of a guess Kerry." She snapped, lashing out at the redhead, looking her directly in the eye, "You still don't believe in pussyfooting around, do you? I mean, we've spent an hour together and you're diagnosing me."
"Kim," She watched as the smaller woman took a deep breath then released it, "It's almost one and I'm a little tipsy. I'm usually in bed, sober, by eleven. So I'm tired, and it's a little weird to look across from my kitchen counter where I chop vegetables and see you, pouting, and eyeing the last of the red wine. Would you like it?"
"No." Yes. Yes I would. "And I'm not pouting."
"I have missed you, and your pouting." She watched as the other woman poured out the last of the bottle into the empty cup and push it towards Kim. "You were in my life for a very short time and came to mean a lot to me. I couldn't imagine what my life would've been like if you were never in it, or if you never decided to stay that night at Doc Magoo's."
"That's funny," She laughed, "When I miss you, which has been more than I care to admit, I sometimes wonder what life would've been like if I hadn't stayed that night."
"Do you think you'd be happier?" The older woman asked, her voice tinged with curiosity.
"Yes." Yes, she really did think she'd be happier, at least she wouldn't have known that someone could hurt her so deeply in such a short amount of time. "Things changed after you, Kerry. I changed."
"You got older."
"Whatever it was, I didn't like it. I still don't."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you." Kerry shrugged. "Shit happens."
"Kerry Weaver, did you just quote some Lesbian pop culture to me? I'm impressed!"
"Well thanks," She smiled, her green eyes twinkling, "I was hoping it'd work. Or at the very least make you smile. Kim, I know what you're going though, only because I went through it. It's called 'your 30's'."
"Well, whatever it is, it sucks!" It really does. So much so that I'm going to drink the last of the wine Kerry poured for me. "You know, I didn't ask Carla about you after we left. I didn't want to know." Why did I tell her that? Seriously, if I wasn't already well on my way to being drunk, I'd stop drinking.
"Know what?"
"Your story, your status. I mean, I saw the photo of Henry, so I figured some things had changed. But I didn't want to know. I made for a very awkward car ride back."
"I bet." She smirked at me from across the counter as she got up and poured us two glasses of water. "Drink this."
"And then you showed up, at the restaurant, and I thought I could totally handle it." Her head began to swim with the wine and the memories of tonight. "The flowers and the fact that you remembered my birthday was...surprisingly touching. I guess I'm getting sentimental in my old age, though I bet you'd know all about it." I tease her, "What with your advanced age and wisdom. And then...this is where I get lost."
"Lost how?" She asks, watching me carefully.
"I don't know. We go out, and all I could think about for the rest of the night, while I'm out with my friends, was how easy it felt to hug you. Hold you, right, right here..." She pressed her hand firmly against her chest, noticing Kerry nodding in agreement. "And then how you looked crossing the street. You looked like...you...but...some sort of alternate universe you. Like Work Weaver managed to escape the four walls of County and merge with real life Weaver, who was always so...shy. God, you were so painfully shy sometimes, Ker. That's all I kept thinking about, was how I'd like to get to know this Kerry, this version of Kerry Weaver. So when dinner finished, and everyone was deciding where to go for dancing, I had begged Carla for your address and...I drank your wine and got entirely too drunk. I should call a cab!" She stood abruptly, it was past one, wasn't it? Wasn't it what Kerry had said.
"Kim?"
"Yes?" She looked for her purse. Did she bring a purse?
"I think you should stay."
"I'm not that drunk." At least she really hoped she wasn't. She really was getting old, wasn't she?
"I'm not saying you are. I'm saying it's past one in Miami on a Friday night, you'll never grab a cab. But I have a guest room, and it faces the water and tomorrow is Saturday, and I always make pancakes on Saturday. Stay?"
She hated Kerry for doing this, for offering. How could she say no when she really didn't want to. She wanted to stay. She wanted to wake up in a strange bed, and have an old friend make breakfast while she watched Saturday morning cartoons with a seven year old she barely knew but liked already. She had wished on her birthday candles at the restaurant for a new life, and here was Kerry, offering her one, at least for a few hours, and she wanted nothing more than to say yes...
TBC
Rating: PG 13
Ship: Kerry Weaver/Kim Legaspi
Disclaimer: Not mine; never were! No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: Ten years after Kim's departure from Chicago, she runs into Kerry in Miami. After a hasty invitation, Kim appears on Kerry's doorstep.
Previous Chapters: ( Part One) ( Part Two) (Part Three)
~
Kerry wasn't sure if the knock at her door was a knock at her door.
This 'hipster electric' music her assistant had given her to help her 'chill out' made it hard to tell if the many clangs, bangs and sounds were part of the 'sonic landscape' or if they were actual sounds. And while it was often calming, with the lulling of the wave of sounds blending with the sounds of the actual waves outside her house, tonight it was playing tricks on her. Throughout the night she thought she'd hear the doorbell chime when it hadn't, or her phone ring when it didn't. Which didn't make sense because she hadn't given Kim an address or a number to go with her invitation to stop by. Kim's reappearance had her flustered and Kerry Weaver was not a woman who enjoyed fluster. She enjoyed peace, and order, and logic and...a nice glass of red. In fact, she rose to pour herself one when the sound happened again. It was most definitely a knock. "Kerry? It's Kim!" Kerry rushed to the door then paused and counted to five to collect herself so she wouldn't look like she was rushing before she opened the door.
"Kim!" She exclaimed, "Come on in!"
"Kerry! I'm so glad I'm at the right house!" She turned to wave at the car which had dropped her off then stepped into Kerry's house. "I was out there realizing that it's past eleven and I could potentially be knocking loudly at some stranger person's door. Beautiful house by the way."
"Thanks - how did you ev-"
"Carla. I wasn't sure if the invitation was still open, so I figured I'd just stop by - not give you a chance to say no." Kim was nervous, Kerry realized, taking in the other woman's rambling. She reached out and took the younger woman's hand in her own, "I was about to pour myself a glass of wine, can I get you anything?"
"Sure, I'll have whatever you're having."
"Great." Still holding her hand, she lead Kim to the large and airy kitchen, brightly lit and gleaming. "I wouldn't have said no. I'm glad you came." Kerry admitted as she began to busy herself with with wine when she heard Kim speak from where she was sitting at the bar stools by the counter. "What was that?" Kerry turned around, placing a glass of red before the other woman, then pulling up a bar stool on the other side of the counter so they could be face to face.
"I said," Kim cleared her throat, "You would have every right to say no. I was pretty awful the last time we saw each other." She took a sip of wine. "Nice, Australian?"
"No, Californian, it's 100% Malbac, so it's pretty smooth." Kerry explained, taking a deep breath and looking into the ruby red in her own glass. "Kim, I could dance around it, and you could dance around it - but I just-the last time we saw each other, I put you in an awful situation and you will NEVER know how sorry I am for that. We both reacted poorly. Luckily," She took a sip, "We grow. And I hope that that is something we can put behind us?"
"Yes!" Kim stuck out her hand from across the counter and beamed, her blue eyes sparkling. Just how much wine had Kim had to work up the courage to come over, Kerry thought. "Hi, I'm Kim, and you are?"
"Kerry. Kerry Weaver." Kerry laughed as she shook her friend's hand.
"Well Kerry, it's very nice to meet you. You have a lovely house, do you always invite strange blonde ladies in for wine?"
"Only the beautiful ones." Oh God - why are you flirting? Why are you flirting? Why are you flirting? Kerry's internal voice shrieked loudly at her. Unfortunately, Kerry sat there, mesmerized by Kim's smile, and their hands touching and -
"I forgot how beautiful you are, Kerry." What? She couldn't mean in. She was at her best attractive, but not beautiful. Beauty was a strong label to throw around. Besides, that was supposed to be her line.
The sound of a thundering herd of elephants suddenly filled the room, which could only mean one thing - Henry was running down the stairs. Kerry stood, breaking her contact with Kim's hand and braced for her son's arrival. Henry was her pride and joy, her reason for being and the reason for her sleepless nights and worry lines. "Mommommommommom!" He called out, sliding into the tiled kitchen in his stocking feet, "Can I watch one more episode? Please? Donna just became a robot and the Doctor and River have to save her!" He looked up at her, his big brown eyes pleading and his hands were clasped in prayer, buried in still-too-long sleeves of his Chicago Blackhawks jersey his grandparents had given him last Christmas. "Please?" He repeated, sticking his lower lip out into a pout. He was playing with her, he didn't really pout and plead, but it helped him feel more like other children, like he was finagling something extra from his mom, so she went along with it - although most of the time, Kerry found it hard not to laugh at her son's efforts. "Henry, can you say hello to our guest first?" She asked, nodding her head towards Kim. "Then can I watch 'Forest of the Dead'?"
"Henry." She warned.
"Hello, my name Henry Weaver. I'm very pleased to meet you." Kerry watched in delight as he stood on his tip-toes and held out his sleeve-covered hand towards Kim. To her credit, the younger woman did her best attempt at hiding her giggles as she shook his hand. "Very nice to meet you Henry. My name's Kim Legaspi. You know, I have a jersey just like it. I borrowed it from my brother about 15 years ago and I never gave it back."
"Wow. That makes you very old." Henry responded in grave earnestness and Kerry couldn't hold back her laughter anymore.
"Yes, yes it does." Kim handled the moment tactfully - "Almost as old as you mom here." Well, almost tactfully.
"Hen, you know today's Kim's birthday? What do we say to people on their birthdays?" Kerry asked, once she got herself under control.
"Happy Birthday? Happy Birthday Kim Legaspi. Or, do you prefer Kimberly?"
Kerry reached onto the metal storage rack to pull down some plates and paused briefly. She watched Henry through the eyes of the other woman - he was precocious to be sure, smart, well-behaved and polite. In some ways, his very adult mannerisms reminded her of her own upbringing - how Sandy would've loved to watch Henry in moments like this. "Well Henry, most people call me Kim. My mother only calls me Kimberly when I'm in trouble."
"Do you get into trouble a lot?"
"Not a lot... but more than I'd like." Kim laughed. "What do people call you?"
"Well, at school they call me Henry W. 'cause we have a Henry T. as well. And mami and papi call me mijo and mom calls me Henry or Hen, and sometimes she forgets that I'm 8 and will still call me baby, but I'm not a baby anymore, am I mom?"
"Nope, you're my little man. Now, how would you two feel about some birthday cake?"
"Birthday Cake?!" Both of them turned to Kerry, excitement on their faces.
"Yes, birthday cake. And it's almost midnight, so we'll have to eat it fast, otherwise it won't be Kim's birthday!"
"Can we light candles and everything?" Henry asked, watching as Kerry pulled out a glass dome which protected a simple white frosted cake.
"I'd love to honey, but I don't think they're enough candles in the house." Kerry teased, watching as Henry pulled up a stool beside Kim.
"You can say anything you want, Weaver, as long as I get some cake!" Kim responded, "Right Henry?"
"Right!"
"Smart kid - I think we're gonna get along just fine!" Kerry's mind picked up on that comment and filed it away for examination at a later time. With less wine. "You know Ker," Kim said, accepting her piece of cake, "You didn't have to bake me a cake - the flowers were more than enough! What would you have done if I hadn't shown up? You didn't give me your address after all."
"Henry and I would have had this delicious cake for breakfast." Kerry replied with an air of what she hoped was confidant nonchalantness (was that even a word? She wondered) as she settled down across from her friend and her son and taking a bite off her own slice. "Besides, I didn't make it for you. I wanted to try a new recipe." She dipped her head down to hide the blush she was all but certain would be spreading across her face as she lied. "What do you think?"
"I think you still cook when you're nervous." Kim responded quietly. "I also think this cake is delicious. What do you say, Henry?"
"More please?" He asked, his eyes gleaming and frosting smeared across his mouth as he held up his empty plate.
"I think..." Kerry began, smiling at her son "That one piece of cake is enough. Especially right before bed."
"Bed? But you said I could watch one more episode!"
"I did not." Kerry rose and collected the empty plates. "You asked if you could and I distracted you with cake. I never once said you could."
"But...but... Donna! In the library!"
"Henry - how many times have you seen this episode?"
"Four, but..."
"No buts. You know they save her. Now, PJ's, brush your teeth, bed. I'll be by soon. I love you." She smiled at her son as she kissed him goodnight and watched him trudge out of the kitchen. He stopped and turned around and Kerry put on her best 'I'm Serious' face. But was surprised with him waving past her, "Goodnight Kim."
"Goodnight Henry."
The kitchen stood silent for a few minutes, save for the music, as Kerry finished cleaning the dishes and poured them some more wine. She could feel Kim's eyes on her. Or, specifically, on what was no longer on her. She settled down on her stool across from Kim and responded to the question. "Five years ago. Surgery."
"Hard?"
"Worth it."
"I didn't want to say anything earlier, in front of Carla, wasn't sure how much you wanted people to know."
"Thank you. They know, Carla and Pete. I'm still pretty private, but I'm not the same Kerry. People change."
"People change." She watched as Kim raised her glass to mid-air to toast her before taking a sip.
"How about you Kim? What's changed in your life?"
"One thing at a time Kerry, I'm bored of my life, I'd like to hear more about yours. What's the most interesting thing to happen to you?"
"Recently? You." Kerry was tired - the events and the emotions of the day caught up with her.
"Honesty is always one approach."
"It's my only approach." Kerry confessed. "I find it makes things easier."
"I'll keep that in mind. Do you keep in touch with many people from County?"
"Not many - a few."
"Carter?"
"Carter. Last time I went back was at the opening of the Clinic Carter opened."
"Good for him. I'm sure it meant a lot to have you there. You meant a lot to him, Ker." Kerry watched in detached curiosity as Kim reached out and placed a hand on her wrist.
"He meant a lot to me. More than I think I ever told him. Uh -" She didn't want to get emotional, not tonight. "Abby and Luka went off to Boston. We do the Christmas and Birthday card route. Elizabeth, oddly enough, pops into town once or twice a month - we go out for dinner."
"As in Corday? Who'd sooner kick the crutch out from under you than be nice?"
"We learned we can be nice to each other so long as we're not working together. Besides..." This seemed as good a time as any to address the unspoken topic of Kim's interest. "She was there for me when Sandy...when Sandy died." She noticed the weight of Kim's hand lift off of her wrist. "I suppose grief will do that, bring out the other sides in people."
"Do you want to talk about Sandy?" Kim asked, looking down at her wine glass.
"No. But I figured you should hear it from me. I know you saw Henry's photo in my office."
"I did. What do you want me to know right now, about Sandy?"
"I..." Kerry paused, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to talk about the bad things, the custody battles, the lonely nights. "I loved her, and she died too soon and she's been gone longer than we were together, but I still miss her."
"Ok." She watched as Kim digested this information. "Ok."
*
"Ok." Kim absorbed this information. It was weird to think of Kerry having a tragic, romantic love affair - this was the woman who was so distant, so impersonal that it took months of working together before she could call her 'Kerry' without fear of being Weaver-ed. 'Ok."
"Your turn." Kim groaned as the woman before her smiled up, "Kimberly Legaspi, Doctor extraordinaire escapes from the clutches of County General for the safe haven of San Francisco, then what?"
"Then?" Kim thought, "Nothing."
"Nothing? Kim, I refuse to believe that in 10 years nothing of note happened to you." Kerry laughed, draining the last of her wine.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you - but nothing. Of note anyways. I'm still working, I have friends, I go out, life has been...steady" Too steady, she thought to herself silently "...the last few years. I don't know - it's just...been. Until Miami that is." She really didn't know why she was getting into this. She didn't want to, but here it was, the legendary Legaspi word vomit. "You know I wasn't even supposed to come to the conference? My boss's daughter got sick so he sent me to take his place and present his findings."
"Well..." She watched as Kerry figured out what to say. Way to go, make the widow feel awkward and sad for you, she berated herself. "If you wouldn't mind a professional opinion, Doctor?" Kerry asked, looking up from playing with the stem of her wine glass
"I'd love one, Doctor. Wait - are you even a doctor still here?" She asked, "Because I don't want some quack diagnosing me. If I did, I'd have stayed in San Francisco!" She laughed.
"Kim, you're deflecting." Damn it, she was. "See, I was listening to you when you'd talk to me. Most of the time. When you had your clothes on, anyways." Kerry teased lightly. "You are in your mid-30's; you've stayed in one city longer than you ever have in your entire life, you've probably watched most of your friends get married, or at least partner off, and though you most likely enjoy your job, you may not enjoy your life as much as you think you should and you can't help but wonder why, when you look out across the table during Sunday brunch how come you're still alone, and everyone else has found their missing sock of a partner."
"Well..." Shell shock would be an accurate description of the variety of emotions she felt pouring over her body at Kerry's words.
"Now, I'm only guessing here -"
"It's a hell of a guess Kerry." She snapped, lashing out at the redhead, looking her directly in the eye, "You still don't believe in pussyfooting around, do you? I mean, we've spent an hour together and you're diagnosing me."
"Kim," She watched as the smaller woman took a deep breath then released it, "It's almost one and I'm a little tipsy. I'm usually in bed, sober, by eleven. So I'm tired, and it's a little weird to look across from my kitchen counter where I chop vegetables and see you, pouting, and eyeing the last of the red wine. Would you like it?"
"No." Yes. Yes I would. "And I'm not pouting."
"I have missed you, and your pouting." She watched as the other woman poured out the last of the bottle into the empty cup and push it towards Kim. "You were in my life for a very short time and came to mean a lot to me. I couldn't imagine what my life would've been like if you were never in it, or if you never decided to stay that night at Doc Magoo's."
"That's funny," She laughed, "When I miss you, which has been more than I care to admit, I sometimes wonder what life would've been like if I hadn't stayed that night."
"Do you think you'd be happier?" The older woman asked, her voice tinged with curiosity.
"Yes." Yes, she really did think she'd be happier, at least she wouldn't have known that someone could hurt her so deeply in such a short amount of time. "Things changed after you, Kerry. I changed."
"You got older."
"Whatever it was, I didn't like it. I still don't."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you." Kerry shrugged. "Shit happens."
"Kerry Weaver, did you just quote some Lesbian pop culture to me? I'm impressed!"
"Well thanks," She smiled, her green eyes twinkling, "I was hoping it'd work. Or at the very least make you smile. Kim, I know what you're going though, only because I went through it. It's called 'your 30's'."
"Well, whatever it is, it sucks!" It really does. So much so that I'm going to drink the last of the wine Kerry poured for me. "You know, I didn't ask Carla about you after we left. I didn't want to know." Why did I tell her that? Seriously, if I wasn't already well on my way to being drunk, I'd stop drinking.
"Know what?"
"Your story, your status. I mean, I saw the photo of Henry, so I figured some things had changed. But I didn't want to know. I made for a very awkward car ride back."
"I bet." She smirked at me from across the counter as she got up and poured us two glasses of water. "Drink this."
"And then you showed up, at the restaurant, and I thought I could totally handle it." Her head began to swim with the wine and the memories of tonight. "The flowers and the fact that you remembered my birthday was...surprisingly touching. I guess I'm getting sentimental in my old age, though I bet you'd know all about it." I tease her, "What with your advanced age and wisdom. And then...this is where I get lost."
"Lost how?" She asks, watching me carefully.
"I don't know. We go out, and all I could think about for the rest of the night, while I'm out with my friends, was how easy it felt to hug you. Hold you, right, right here..." She pressed her hand firmly against her chest, noticing Kerry nodding in agreement. "And then how you looked crossing the street. You looked like...you...but...some sort of alternate universe you. Like Work Weaver managed to escape the four walls of County and merge with real life Weaver, who was always so...shy. God, you were so painfully shy sometimes, Ker. That's all I kept thinking about, was how I'd like to get to know this Kerry, this version of Kerry Weaver. So when dinner finished, and everyone was deciding where to go for dancing, I had begged Carla for your address and...I drank your wine and got entirely too drunk. I should call a cab!" She stood abruptly, it was past one, wasn't it? Wasn't it what Kerry had said.
"Kim?"
"Yes?" She looked for her purse. Did she bring a purse?
"I think you should stay."
"I'm not that drunk." At least she really hoped she wasn't. She really was getting old, wasn't she?
"I'm not saying you are. I'm saying it's past one in Miami on a Friday night, you'll never grab a cab. But I have a guest room, and it faces the water and tomorrow is Saturday, and I always make pancakes on Saturday. Stay?"
She hated Kerry for doing this, for offering. How could she say no when she really didn't want to. She wanted to stay. She wanted to wake up in a strange bed, and have an old friend make breakfast while she watched Saturday morning cartoons with a seven year old she barely knew but liked already. She had wished on her birthday candles at the restaurant for a new life, and here was Kerry, offering her one, at least for a few hours, and she wanted nothing more than to say yes...
TBC