(Untitled)

[wildcolumbine]

KISS, CHAPTER 4

Comments

[sliveredmoon]

Great wrtiing. Glad you included chess as an entry point:)

[wildcolumbine]

Ah yes, it's strange how some ideas have such a strong appeal ;)

[wildcolumbine]

Back again. I'm letting people know I forgot the first para. What an idiot.

Ellis is a real piece of work

[bbm_citygirl]

Ellis is the oddest mix of anger, distain, defiance, and self-reproach. On one hand he brow beats Jesse for not looking him up and with the other he praises him and makes flattering remarks to him. Talk about your mixed messages. And Jesse is correct to wonder what they have in common. What happened to cause that fight between Ellis and his child’s mother? Did Ellis drive while drinking and cause Caitlyn to be injured? Did Ellis run off because of guilt? And what happened next to “prove” the gossips correct

Re: Ellis is a real piece of work

[wildcolumbine]

I'll get back to your comment later but I just wanted you to know I stuffed up badly and left out the original first para. I'll post it later -- when I've rewritten it from memory.

Re: Ellis is a real piece of work

[bbm_citygirl]

Came back in to read the first paragraph, with that "no good ever came of leaving Wyoming". Now I'm curious about Aileen, what happened to her? And is this a foreshadowing of bad things for Ellis now that he has left Wyoming or is it simple prejudice of other places? It seems leaving Wyoming is the first good decision Ellis has made.

You really do have a way of making a reader chomp at the bit. :D Please update soon.

Re: Ellis is a real piece of work

[sjmarv]

Bbm_citygirl, both your comments speak to my own thoughts about this chapter and this story, especially the leaving us chomping at the bit!

Wildcolumbine, you are able to write such a lovely turn of phrase that makes me re-read many of your sentences just to let the words roll over my mind like I'm taking a taste of good wine.

"They started another game but Jesse's mind was too busy working out his own conversational moves to pay much attention to the moves of a bunch of glass chessmen."

Wonderful!

Thanks,
Susan

strategic moves

[joetheone]

Chess a game we all play in life but don't realize I love that you used Chess as a way for them to connect. Knowing what he knows how Ellis waited for him and how his life changed from that summer on the mountain. How lack of communication of feelings changes a persons life to know that he has a daughter out in the world and how he is apart from her. I feel sad that he has had to live this way. Well, Jesse is the boss so if the boys want to go and make fun of him so be it but I don't think it is real smart to make fun of the boss. Joe

[eandj]

oh man- so much happened here
perhaps Ellis can tell Jesse about Caitlyn and what happened the last time he saw his daugther
and to learn that Ellis never married but instead waited for Jesse to show up- sigh
but their friendship made real progress here over chess and talk in the evening.
And now Ellis lives in Jesse's house. I wonder what will happen
thanks so much
I was so looking forward to this chapter and now I can't wait to read more
Paula

[aileenfan]

"After what we done that summer? You think I could just go home and get married? Couldn't even bring myself ta look that girl in the face. Left a note for her, never spoke ta her again. Then I waited for you. I fuckin waited for you and you never showed. You fuckin ruined my life and you never showed."

Wow, that's a surprise, so there was no Alma.

I can't wait for them to talk.

Amazing chapter:)