FIC: Let Me Prove It To You (11/?)
Title: Let Me Prove It To You 11/?
Pairing: JJ/Emily
Summary: It’s been months since Emily Prentiss left the BAU and the US for that matter. It’s also been months since she last saw Jennifer Jareau. But what happens when Emily gets a call that JJ has been in an accident?
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own Criminal Minds or its characters. I wish I did, though.
A/N: The moment you have all been waiting for is almost here, but I couldn’t resist one last cliffhanger before we get to the good stuff :D
Chapter 11
“So when are you leaving?” JJ asked, although she really didn’t want to hear an answer to that question. But she knew she had to finally let Emily go. Emily was in the middle of JJ’s living room packing her bags. She had a couple more days left, but she wanted to go to her apartment for a while to get some more of her stuff that she had originally left.
“In three days.” She answered and looked at JJ. “Unless you need me to stay.”
JJ wanted to scream ‘YES’, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “No, I’ll be fine.” She said with a weak smile. She knew she had run out of excuses to keep Emily in the US - her hand was almost completely healed, she would be coming back to work soon, everything was back to normal. Except that her ‘normal’ should include Emily. She knew that more than ever and more than ever she hated herself for giving up the best thing that had ever happened to her.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair this afternoon.” Emily promised and JJ couldn’t even bear to imagine how empty her apartment would be without Emily and her things. She had gotten used to having Emily’s belongings here and there in the apartment, Emily’s cell phone lying around in the living room, her jacket hanging on the backrest of a chair, her car keys on the coffee table. The way it was supposed to be and the way it would never be again.
“I liked having you around.” JJ admitted and studied Emily’s face intently. A small smile spread across Emily’s face and quickly turned into a grin.
“Yeah, ‘cause I cooked for you and cleaned your toilet.” Emily looked at JJ, who started laughing, but Emily couldn’t help but notice that there was something strange about JJ’s eyes. Some sort of sadness that Emily couldn’t quite understand at this point.
“You know that’s not it.” JJ said firmly, hoping that indeed Emily knew that. Even if JJ was unable to tell Emily how she really felt, she was hoping that Emily would at least know that JJ considered her a friend. Someone very special. “You’ve been a wonderful company, Emily.” JJ finally added as she was looking with sad eyes as Emily kept packing and repacking her bag.
“You haven’t been that bad, either.” Emily winked at her and for a moment JJ thought Emily was going to add something else, but she didn’t. JJ’s head was spinning. She was trying to figure out whether she should say something, anything, ask Emily to stay, tell her how she really feels, beg her to forgive her… No, she couldn’t do that. Emily would never forgive her, not after what she had done.
“Do you need any help packing?” JJ asked and couldn’t help but feel that this was ridiculous. She so desperately wanted Emily to stay, yet she was offering to help with the packing. She was hopeless.
“No, I’ll be fine.” Emily smiled. “I don’t have that much stuff anyway. I’ve only been here a few weeks.”
Few amazing weeks, JJ thought to herself. Oh how she wished those few weeks could turn into months or years. She wished she could always be with Emily. Always. Why did it take her so long to realize that she loved Emily? Why wasn’t she strong enough to fight for this love? Why did she try to be what everyone else told her to be instead of who she really wanted? Things would have been so different if only she hadn’t been such a coward.
***
“So Emily’s gone?” Garcia asked as she entered JJ’s apartment and realized that none of Emily’s things were there.
“Yeah.” JJ said in a sad tone. “I mean she’s still here, but she just wanted to take care of something in her apartment before she left. She’s flying out tomorrow.”
“And are you OK with that?” Garcia asked as the two of them went into the living room and sat on the couch.
“I have to be.” JJ sighed sadly and Garcia could see how not OK JJ really was with Emily leaving. “It’s not like I have a choice. I knew she was gonna have to leave sooner or later and that time has come now.”
“But you don’t want her to go?”
“Of course I don’t!” JJ admitted.
“Why?” Garcia asked, but when she looked into JJ’s eyes, she knew the answer. “Then you have to tell her.”
“I can’t.” JJ protested. “I can’t.” She repeated with such sadness in her voice that it made Garcia’s stomach tighten. She knew that JJ had screwed some things up with Emily, but she couldn’t stand her friend hurting like this. No matter what had happened between JJ and Emily, Garcia could see so much love for Emily in JJ’s eyes that she thought it was literally going to make her cry. “It’s too late now, Pen. I fucked it up and Emily is never going to forgive me.”
“You don’t know that!” Garcia insisted. “You never know with those things.”
“I know. I mean how could she forgive me after what I’ve done? I wouldn’t be able to forgive if someone did something like that to me.”
“Do what you want, JJ, but I’ll tell you one thing - you’ll never know until you ask her.”
JJ sighed deeply as she buried her face in her hands. Was Garcia right? Could she risk everything by telling Emily the truth? Would she destroy whatever relationship she and Emily had managed to form since Emily came back? Or would she finally get everything she now knew she wanted?
***
Emily looked around her living room, where two of her packed bags lay on the floor. She almost couldn’t believe that she was finally leaving. She knew it was going to happen someday, but somehow she thought that someday wouldn’t come so soon. She had gotten used to living in JJ’s guest bedroom and taking her of her. It wasn’t the way she imagined living with JJ, but it was something and now she was about to lose it. She was about to leave and never come back and for some reason it scared her even more than it had the last time.
***
JJ stood outside of Emily’s apartment, her heart pounding, her hands sweaty, her entire body shivering. She was trying to figure out if she had enough inner strength to do this. She was terrified of what might happen if she told Emily the truth, but she didn’t know what she was scared of more - being rejected by the love of her life or spending the rest of her life wondering what might have been.
She felt heavy breaths escaping her chest as she tried to calm her heart, her attempts futile, though, because she couldn’t remember the last time she was this nervous. She was sure that if she waited long enough, she was going to faint. Her legs felt like they weren’t going to keep her in a vertical position for much longer. Finally, after taking another deep breath and saying a silent prayer, she rang the doorbell. When she heard footsteps on the other side of the door, her heart started beating even faster and for a moment she considered just running away, but before she could make the decision, the door opened and she saw Emily standing at the doorstep. She looked a little tired, from all the packing no doubt, but she was simply stunning. More beautiful than JJ had ever remembered, if that was even possible.
“JJ?” Emily asked totally confused seeing the blonde at her doorstep.
JJ looked at Emily intently and whispered in a very weak voice, because she could hardly get the words out, “I have to tell you something…”