FIC: Unexpected Discoveries 4/?
Title: Unexpected Discoveries 4/?
Pairing: JJ/Emily
Summary: In an effort to avoid advances from a certain southern detective, JJ tells him that she’s dating Emily and even kisses her to prove it. She soon realizes that she can’t get that pretend kiss out of her mind… JJ/Emily femslash all the way!
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or its characters. I wish I did, though.
Chapter 4
“I am so beat!” JJ exclaimed as she and Emily entered their hotel room at about 9pm the same evening. The team along with the New Orleans police had gone through all the pieces of evidence they had available and they had decided that there really was nothing more they could do, so it was better to get a good night sleep and start in the morning with a fresh perspective.
“So you keep saying.” Emily chuckled. “For a couple of hours now.”
“I know!” JJ couldn’t help but laugh at herself. “I don’t know what it is. For some reason this city seems to be making me so exhausted. It’s funny, really.” She sighed and sprawled herself on her bed. Emily sat on hers as well, because even though she didn’t seem as tired as JJ, she certainly didn’t mind sitting on something more comfortable than a plastic chair at a local police station.
“Might be all the kissing that you’re doing.” Emily joked and looked at JJ with obvious amusement. JJ became a little uncomfortable, which didn’t go unnoticed by Emily.
“Yeah, did I mention how sorry I was about that?” JJ looked at Emily for reassurance that the brunette wasn’t upset about the little impromptu kiss in the conference room.
“I believe you apologized once or twice.” Emily grinned.
“Seriously, Em. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about my little freakout and about lying to Will about us being gay and all that.”
“Well technically…” Emily started and paused for a second, not sure if this was really the right moment to do that. But she finally decided that it was now or never, otherwise JJ was definitely going to think that she was trying to hide something from her. “Technically, you only half lied to him.” She finally admitted and studied JJ’s face intently waiting for a reaction.
“What?” JJ asked confused. Clearly, the revelation that Emily had just made didn’t register with the blonde. For a moment she was trying to figure out what Emily had meant, until it finally dawned on her. “Oh…” She whispered, and looked at Emily carefully. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Emily admitted slowly, “Really.” For a moment there was a complete silence in the room and Emily wondered if she had just made a mistake. But she couldn’t have. After all, what kind of friendship did she have with JJ if that was something that would bother the young agent. “Is that a problem?” She finally decided to ask and literally held her breath waiting for JJ’s response.
“No, of course not.” JJ almost shouted and Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it wasn’t a mistake to tell her after all. “It’s just that you never said anything.” JJ continued.
“Well, it never came up I guess.” Emily replied trying to figure out why it was exactly that she had never mentioned anything to anyone before. “I didn’t really feel like introducing myself ‘Hi, I’m agent Emily Prentiss. Oh and by the way, I’m gay.’ It’s not like you tell all the new people that you meet that you’re straight, right?”
“Point taken.” JJ had to agree with Emily to some extent. “But we’ve talked about stuff and all…”
“It’s not like I was trying to hide it or anything.” Emily was becoming more and more defensive.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” JJ felt really bad about how she must have come across. “I didn’t mean to suggest that you did. I’m just surprised it never came up. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“That’s OK, you didn’t.” Emily smiled softly. “I guess I overreacted a little. That seems to happen to me sometimes.”
“Happens to the best of us.” JJ sent Emily a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about it.” For a moment JJ kept wondering what else she should say or do. Finally she asked, “Do you need me to keep this a secret or something?”
“No, absolutely not.” Emily replied. “I mean don’t start wearing ‘Emily is gay’ T-shirts or anything,” JJ couldn’t help but burst into laughter at that idea, ”But I don’t need you to go out of your way to protect my little ‘secret’ either. Just be cool about it.” She finished.
“OK. And thanks for telling me.” JJ really was grateful that Emily felt comfortable enough with her to talk to her about it. “I mean it’s not like it changes anything between us.” JJ finally added and Emily couldn’t help but feel a little sad about that fact. Life would be so much better if it did change something between the two of them. “I still love you, you know?” JJ added after a while, but Emily knew she obviously only meant as a friend.
“I know you do. I know you would never judge me.”
“What’s there to judge?” JJ didn’t seem to understand completely what Emily meant. “It’s not like it changes who you are.”
“Well, not everyone is of that opinion. My mother, for example, has always believed that ‘the gay thing’, as she used to call it, is just my way to spite her. Of course she had to make it about her, because everybody knows that when you want to spite your parents you turn gay.” Emily laughed and JJ did too, but deep down she knew that the memories probably weren’t so funny for Emily.
“Did you always know you were gay?” JJ inquired, not sure if she was doing the right thing by asking or if Emily even wanted to share anything like that with her. “Unless you don’t wanna talk about it, in which case I will just shut up.”
“No it’s OK.” Emily sighed and it took her a moment to gather her thoughts. “I wouldn’t say I’ve always known, but I did discover it pretty early. I was about fifteen or sixteen maybe. All my female friends, not that there were many, would of course chase the boys and I did too, because apparently that’s what 15-year old girls were supposed to do. I did have some experiences with guys, but nothing that was really worth remembering. At first I thought that it was because I didn’t meet the right guys, but pretty soon I realized that I just didn’t like guys at all.” Emily took another moment to collect her thoughts. “When my mother realized that I was dating girls, she totally freaked out. She was sure that I was doing this as a sign of rebellion or something. She tried to ‘straighten me out’ for a while, but we didn’t really see that much of each other, so it didn’t help. We argued about it for a couple of years and then I went to college and that’s that. My mother stopped trying to change me and sometimes she seems like she has accepted who I am, but sometimes I feel like she still thinks that there is something wrong with me. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away.”
“I’m so sorry, Em.” JJ looked at her friend with a little compassion. She knew that it must have been really hard for Emily not being accepted by her mother.
“It’s OK, really.” Emily smiled. “I’ve learned to live with that. At some point I just realized that my mission in this world is not to please my mother and I started living my own life. My mother is free to be a part of it if she wishes. If not, I’m not gonna keep beating myself up about it.”
“Well good for you.” JJ said energetically and suddenly she remembered how tired she was as she felt a very strong urge to yawn. “That’s right, I totally forgot that I was so exhausted.” She laughed. “I guess that’s the effect you have on me, Emily Prentiss.” JJ winked at her friend, got up from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. “You don’t mind if I take a shower now, do you?”
“No, go ahead.”
“Thanks.” JJ replied and disappeared inside the bathroom. Emily sighed and laid back on her bed. She certainly did not expect this conversation to happen, but she was definitely glad that it did. It was really nice to talk to JJ. And just like she said before, it wasn’t that she was trying to hide being gay from anyone, but she also never really volunteered that information. She was glad that JJ now knew, so there was at least one good thing that came out of the whole ‘let’s tell Will we’re gay’ scenario. Well that, and the memory of JJ’s lips on hers.