Very interesting discussion and debate. ^^; I especially agree with the last line -- oppression is a touchy subject, and people are more inclined to take sides than look at the big picture. And some are just afraid of rocking the boat, even if they're unhappy with the way things are
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That is quite an interesting example, very much that annoying 'biology is destiny' stuff, tone of voice and body sex seem all-important to some people, doesn't really make sense but that's the way it is I suppose.
Guess you'll just have to wait until you find a band you like enough to strip tease for then :o)
I read this entire thing and I agree you have valid points -- and I'm glad that you acknowledge that things are still unfairly balanced towards men -- but one thing in particular stuck out to me.
"Of course, me, like you, was actually going to go a step further and say ‘if you don’t like this stuff, and I know you don’t, then I’m not going to let you come’. This to seems fair, there’s no point me inviting people into a roleplay game that aren’t really ‘into it’ and thus ruin the atmosphere, and there’s no point ruining the entire point of a female gathering by inviting males."It's interesting the way you use language here, likely completely subconsciously, where you equate not inviting as not letting when, in fact, those things are completely separate -- at least to all the women I know. Men tend to see it differently and Cereta points this out in detail. But to a woman not inviting is not not letting -- every woman in fandom I know was NOT invited. There was no invitation given to her, no inclusion granted automatically by friends
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Re: invitationsmannaNovember 11 2005, 01:22:24 UTC
Livejournal communities are often open-invite, though by no means not all, so fan-fic livejournal communities that don't specifically say that it's a girls' group then not-inviting is indeed not the same as not-letting.
Ironically, the only slash fanfic LJ comm I can ever recall coming across which has a stated gender policy about who can join and who can post is this one.
Re: imen_who_slashraveninthewindNovember 11 2005, 05:08:11 UTC
And when I found out about that comm, I was wondering if it had caused wank when it was created. But I consdered them a minority group (in the slash fandom, for sure) doing what many a minority group has done: making a room of their own, a place where they can speak to others with similar experiences.
can you just make bullet points? i am man so there fore stupid and unable to comprehend long sentaces. i also apparently cant multitask so breathing and reading i find difficult.
No, that's fine, I would have posted it on the journal I was replying to except for feeling a bit rude about it, the link I posted there was pretty much an open invite for anyone to come comment :o
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But to give you an example where reporting is not an issue, women are three times more likely to be murdered by their domestic partner than men. I can't say if this is because women are likely to be more harmed by battering or because more women are battered, but this is clearly not an issue of the victim being afraid to report the crime.
domestic abusewight1984November 13 2005, 18:31:11 UTC
Certainly that does seem to be firm evidence to suggest that domestic violence than men are. Still, important to realise that domestic violence against men does happen and not to fall into the trap of believing it uncommon, but, yes, that certainly does seem to suggest there is benefit to being a man.
Though possibly somewhat accounted for in that men are often found to build bigger bodies than women, hence it's probably of less an advantage if you're a small man with a larger partner.
"Meanwhile entirely apolitical groups only for men, like thecompanyofmen, aren’t really begrudged by females that I’ve noticed."
In fact thecompanyofmen was created shortly after theladiesloos (a female only community) and not only did the members of the theladiesloos approve of the idea, we continue to reference it and mention it to anyone looking for such a thing.
I also think it's kind of cool it got referenced in a fannish discussion.
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Guess you'll just have to wait until you find a band you like enough to strip tease for then :o)
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"Of course, me, like you, was actually going to go a step further and say ‘if you don’t like this stuff, and I know you don’t, then I’m not going to let you come’. This to seems fair, there’s no point me inviting people into a roleplay game that aren’t really ‘into it’ and thus ruin the atmosphere, and there’s no point ruining the entire point of a female gathering by inviting males."It's interesting the way you use language here, likely completely subconsciously, where you equate not inviting as not letting when, in fact, those things are completely separate -- at least to all the women I know. Men tend to see it differently and Cereta points this out in detail. But to a woman not inviting is not not letting -- every woman in fandom I know was NOT invited. There was no invitation given to her, no inclusion granted automatically by friends ( ... )
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Ironically, the only slash fanfic LJ comm I can ever recall coming across which has a stated gender policy about who can join and who can post is this one.
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can you just make bullet points? i am man so there fore stupid and unable to comprehend long sentaces. i also apparently cant multitask so breathing and reading i find difficult.
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Very good :o)
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Though possibly somewhat accounted for in that men are often found to build bigger bodies than women, hence it's probably of less an advantage if you're a small man with a larger partner.
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In fact thecompanyofmen was created shortly after theladiesloos (a female only community) and not only did the members of the theladiesloos approve of the idea, we continue to reference it and mention it to anyone looking for such a thing.
I also think it's kind of cool it got referenced in a fannish discussion.
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