While I grant that you would probably have run away from what you were asking for from her, I can remember quite clearly that you weren't receiving what you were asking for, either. There were many things you did that I would agree were selfish, etc, but when it came to being exclusive, it was one-sided. You were required to be exclusive to her; she was married and was clearly not exclusive to you. But, if you can accept that now, then I wish you the best of luck, both with becoming a better person as well as finding the love that can fill your heart.
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