Between the Lines (9/17)
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Jason peeked out of the corner of his eye. Chad sprawled out on the bed alongside him, one hand bent behind his head as he flipped through the channels. The hotel only had single rooms available; both men had demurred to the other, but neither had suggested finding another hotel. Jason tried not to read anything into that.
Chad sighed in disgust, turning off the TV and swinging his head around to look up at Jason.
“Find anything?” he asked.
Jason forced his mind away from the distractions he had been feeling a moment ago. He shook his head, closing the book and placing it on the side table. “No. It’s funny. A few weeks ago, I would have sworn I discovered something new every time I read one of his poems. And at the same time, I felt like I knew everything there was to know about him. And now, his work is entirely closed off and meaningless to me, and it turns out I don’t know a damn thing. It’s very frustrating,” Jason concluded with a sigh.
“Maybe…we aren’t supposed to know everything. Maybe that’s the point.”
Jason stared ahead. “I can’t accept that. I need…I need to understand this. I need to understand him.”
“Why?” Chad asked softly.
Jason stared down at his hands. “When I - when I first dropped out of the seminary and came out to my family, I felt incredibly…lost. My dad was always fine with it, but my grandmother was still alive and she nearly disowned me. A lot of close friends stopped talking to me. And my entire career path, my dreams for the future were lost, because I - wrongly or rightly - felt like I had to give up everything I worked for to be honest about who I was. That’s when I first really read through his work again. I felt this amazing connection to him, actually. It sounds crazy, I know, but there was something there that made me feel…I don’t know how to explain it. It gave me a new purpose. I can’t lose that now.”
Chad nodded. “Then we’ll figure it out. As best we can.”
Jason looked up. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Do you regret it? Leaving the seminary?”
“I did for a long time,” Jason confessed. “It felt like a betrayal or something. But I’ve since realized that there are other ways of staying true to my beliefs and serving my community. Teaching is one of them.”
“Plus, you don’t have to be celibate,” Chad joked, breaking some of the tension.
Jason burst into laughter. “There is that,” he agreed, rubbing a hand along his reddening neck.
Chad stared at him for a moment, then lifted himself up quickly. He pressed his lips to Jason’s, immediately seeking entry for his tongue. It took Jason a moment or two to recover, and then he gave back as good as he got. The kiss turned passionate fast, as Chad rubbed his hands up and down Jason’s body, pulling him closer into his embrace. They maneuvered around until they were laying side-by-side, legs intertwined. Jason moaned slightly when he felt the length of Chad’s hardness against his own. Chad broke the kiss, panting while one hand clutched tightly at Jason’s bicep.
Jason reached down, tugging the back of Chad’s t-shirt from the waist of his jeans. He pulled sharply, bringing the garment up to the back of Chad’s neck. Chad moved away, allowing the material to go over his head. Before he could take the shirt completely off, however, Jason surged forward in order to resume kissing.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Chad murmured quickly.
Jason pushed him away suddenly, sitting up. He breathed heavily and refused to look at Chad.
“Sorry,” he muttered, lifting a hand to scrub at his eyes.
“No, I - ”
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Jason said, climbing off the bed and hurrying into the bathroom.
Chad stared after him. “My shirt was stuck,” he said in quiet disappointment. Then he fell onto the bed.
***
Scotty moaned deep in his throat, pulling Kevin’s body flush against his own. They kissed deeply, headily, passionately. They didn’t even feel the need to progress in their activities; kissing, for the moment, was more than enough.
“Oh!” Kevin said with a groan. “Forget everything I ever said about missing wine. This is all the intoxication I need. You taste so…”
Scotty chuckled. “You don’t talk like any accountant I’ve ever met.”
Kevin laughed in response, pulling just far enough away to answer the implied question. “That’s because I’m not one, not really. My father just needed someone to step in with the family business after my uncle moved away. Of course, I was in law school at the time, so it could have been worse.”
“What would you be doing?” Scotty asked, lowering his lips to worry Kevin’s earlobe between his teeth. “If you had your choice?”
Kevin gasped, tilting his head back to give Scotty plenty of room. “I’m a writer,” he choked out. “A poet.”
“Really?” Scotty asked in surprise.
“Mmm,” Kevin confirmed. “But it doesn’t pay the bills. And it’s not something a real man does, according to my father.”
Scotty grinned, giving Kevin a quick peck on the lips. “Pretty sure he would say the same thing about this.”
“He probably would,” Kevin agreed, stopping their kiss again as he sobered. “But I don’t care. He’s basically found a way to turn his company around so he’d make the most possible money out of this war. He’s profiting on the lives and futures that his sons are risking - well, that two of them are risking right now, at any rate. I’m not exactly in much danger currently, but that doesn’t mean I don’t resent the way Ojai Foods is staying in business.”
Scotty propped himself on an elbow, looking down at Kevin. “So you won’t be going back there?”
“Definitely not; I don’t care what he says. And - I can write anywhere. I don’t have to stay in L.A. I don’t even have to stay in California. I bet…well, I bet there’s room for poets even in Oxford, Mississippi.”
Scotty grinned happily, ducking his head. “That’s too bad. Because here I was thinking that if I wanted to have a successful medical practice, L.A. would be ideal. I’d really like it if I knew someone who could show me around.”
Kevin stared up at Scotty, a soft smile on his face. Then he reached up, pulling him down for another kiss.
***
Chad quickly glanced at Jason, who hadn’t met his eyes once all day. By the time Jason came out of the bathroom the previous night, he had composed himself and had refused to even listen to Chad’s attempts at an explanation, dismissing what had happened between them as a moment of weakness. And then Chad began to question himself, wonder if he really was just caught up in the heat of the moment, worry that he would hurt Jason in the end once they were back in L.A. and Chad couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge any relationship. And so he had accepted Jason’s arguments, despite the fact that he now felt, frankly, miserable.
They waited on the step of the front door to an amazing vineyard estate. They had knocked twice and just now heard the sound of slow footsteps walking to the door. It opened, and they turned to face the woman who answered.
“Madame Laurent?” Jason asked politely.
“Oui.”
“Ah…parlez-vous anglais?”
“Of course.”
“My name is Jason McCallister; this is my friend Chad Barry. I’m Evan McCallister’s son. Your…first cousin once removed, I guess.”
“Oh! Yes, of course! How’s your father?”
“Great. We’re so sorry to just drop in on you like this, but we’re visiting the country and thought we’d say hello.”
“Not at all. Come in, come in.”
“Thank you.”
“Pleased to meet you, Madame Laurent,” Chad added as he stepped inside the house.
“You can call me Paige, if you wish.”
***
“Kevin,” Scotty said softly one night, the regret and hesitation in his voice making his next statement predictable enough.
Kevin opened his eyes, staring up at the night sky. “Yeah?” he said softly.
“It’s time. We…we have to go.”
“I know,” Kevin agreed.
“This has been…I wish we could stay here forever. I like having this haven where we’re the only people in the world, but…”
“We’re not,” Kevin said, emotionless.
“No. Kevin, I - ”
Kevin rolled over, quickly silencing Scotty as he pulled him into a desperately passionate kiss.
___
“I, Kevin Walker, take thee, Rebecca Harper…”
___
“Hey!”
Kevin spun quickly. “You’re back! Where have you been? You’re shipping out in less than - ”
“I know,” Scotty said apologetically.
The two men walked down the street, bodies as close as they dared in the public street. Scotty reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet.
“The pictures are developed.”
“Oh, thank God. I was beginning to think they wouldn’t be ready.”
“Here,” Scotty handed Kevin a small photograph. “I have yours tucked away already.”
Kevin stared at the photograph, his fingers loosely holding the edges. “You look very…” Kevin cleared his throat, looking up at Scotty meaningfully as he slipped the photo into his breast pocket.
Scotty closed his eyes, exhaling. “I don’t know how to say this. Goodbye, I mean.”
Kevin stopped walking. “Then don’t. We’re going to see each other again, sooner than we even imagine, I’m sure. Just…stay safe.”
“You too,” Scotty said, voice catching. “Don’t go crashing your plane again.”
Kevin smiled softly. “I promise.”
“And you’ll write me?”
“As often as I can. I won’t be able to say all I want to, but I trust you’ll read between the lines.”
Scotty nodded, looking down at his feet. He swallowed, then looked back up, tears in his eyes. “Kevin…”
“Shh, shh. I know.”
Scotty sighed loudly. He closed his eyes, shaking his head quickly. Then he forced a smile to his face. “We’ll see each other soon. In L.A., if not before.”
“And then we’ll have the rest of our lives,” Kevin added quietly, risking a quick touch to Scotty’s hand.
Scotty gave him a small smile.
“I swear. In front of this church, I swear,” Kevin said gruffly. Scotty turned around, looking in surprise at the building a block away. “It’s not our cathedral, I know. And there are no witnesses, and no rites to make it real. But I swear, I’ll wait for you until you find your way to me. I’m yours. Until death do us part, and then some,” he added, smiling through the pain.
“Kevin,” Scotty said, the emotions choking his voice. “I…I don’t have your words and I can’t - just trust in us and in me, OK? We’ll find a way. I promise I’ll come to you, and we’ll be together somehow.”
___
Kevin tapped softly on the door, opening it once he heard the quiet welcome. He peeked around the corner, looking at his new bride as she brushed her hair.
“Good evening, Rebecca.”
“Hello, Kevin,” she said, curiosity about his visit lacing her words.
He walked closer to her, sitting down next to her at the vanity.
“Do you have everything you need?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“I just…ah, I don’t know if you wanted to, but…”
Rebecca smiled as she realized what he was trying to say. She turned to him. “Kevin, you’re a dear friend. And I think we’ve gotten to know each other well since you’ve returned. I don’t expect you to perform your ‘husbandly duty.’ Be kind to me, and take care of me as best you can - that will fulfill any obligation you feel you owe your brother. All I ask is that you stay discreet, if you happen to find some…other companionship.”
Kevin ducked his head quickly. They had skirted around these issues whenever they talked in the weeks between their initial understanding and their marriage, but this was as close as either had come to acknowledging things directly. Rebecca smiled again, reaching her hand out to his and holding it softly as she continued, “My money frees you from your father, and your vows free me from your father, and I think beyond that, we will be rather content living together. But let’s not pretend either one of us married the person we wish to be with. This is…a friendly business arrangement. Nothing more.”
Kevin nodded, taking a breath. Then he squeezed Rebecca’s hand gently. “Good night then,” he said before standing and walking out of the room.
___
Kevin swallowed thickly as he watched the last men of Scotty’s new unit disappear from sight. He himself would be reporting to duty tomorrow, now that the investigation of their absence was finished. He slipped his hand inside his pocket, fingering the edge of the photograph.
“Excuse me, sir,” a young man said as he walked into Kevin’s room. “Telegram.”
“Thank you,” Kevin said, taking the paper.
Overjoyed to hear you are alive and well. Unfortunately must pass on sad news. Justin killed in battle two weeks ago. Details with my next letter. Please be safe, Kitty.
Next Chapter
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Jason peeked out of the corner of his eye. Chad sprawled out on the bed alongside him, one hand bent behind his head as he flipped through the channels. The hotel only had single rooms available; both men had demurred to the other, but neither had suggested finding another hotel. Jason tried not to read anything into that.
Chad sighed in disgust, turning off the TV and swinging his head around to look up at Jason.
“Find anything?” he asked.
Jason forced his mind away from the distractions he had been feeling a moment ago. He shook his head, closing the book and placing it on the side table. “No. It’s funny. A few weeks ago, I would have sworn I discovered something new every time I read one of his poems. And at the same time, I felt like I knew everything there was to know about him. And now, his work is entirely closed off and meaningless to me, and it turns out I don’t know a damn thing. It’s very frustrating,” Jason concluded with a sigh.
“Maybe…we aren’t supposed to know everything. Maybe that’s the point.”
Jason stared ahead. “I can’t accept that. I need…I need to understand this. I need to understand him.”
“Why?” Chad asked softly.
Jason stared down at his hands. “When I - when I first dropped out of the seminary and came out to my family, I felt incredibly…lost. My dad was always fine with it, but my grandmother was still alive and she nearly disowned me. A lot of close friends stopped talking to me. And my entire career path, my dreams for the future were lost, because I - wrongly or rightly - felt like I had to give up everything I worked for to be honest about who I was. That’s when I first really read through his work again. I felt this amazing connection to him, actually. It sounds crazy, I know, but there was something there that made me feel…I don’t know how to explain it. It gave me a new purpose. I can’t lose that now.”
Chad nodded. “Then we’ll figure it out. As best we can.”
Jason looked up. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Do you regret it? Leaving the seminary?”
“I did for a long time,” Jason confessed. “It felt like a betrayal or something. But I’ve since realized that there are other ways of staying true to my beliefs and serving my community. Teaching is one of them.”
“Plus, you don’t have to be celibate,” Chad joked, breaking some of the tension.
Jason burst into laughter. “There is that,” he agreed, rubbing a hand along his reddening neck.
Chad stared at him for a moment, then lifted himself up quickly. He pressed his lips to Jason’s, immediately seeking entry for his tongue. It took Jason a moment or two to recover, and then he gave back as good as he got. The kiss turned passionate fast, as Chad rubbed his hands up and down Jason’s body, pulling him closer into his embrace. They maneuvered around until they were laying side-by-side, legs intertwined. Jason moaned slightly when he felt the length of Chad’s hardness against his own. Chad broke the kiss, panting while one hand clutched tightly at Jason’s bicep.
Jason reached down, tugging the back of Chad’s t-shirt from the waist of his jeans. He pulled sharply, bringing the garment up to the back of Chad’s neck. Chad moved away, allowing the material to go over his head. Before he could take the shirt completely off, however, Jason surged forward in order to resume kissing.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Chad murmured quickly.
Jason pushed him away suddenly, sitting up. He breathed heavily and refused to look at Chad.
“Sorry,” he muttered, lifting a hand to scrub at his eyes.
“No, I - ”
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Jason said, climbing off the bed and hurrying into the bathroom.
Chad stared after him. “My shirt was stuck,” he said in quiet disappointment. Then he fell onto the bed.
***
Scotty moaned deep in his throat, pulling Kevin’s body flush against his own. They kissed deeply, headily, passionately. They didn’t even feel the need to progress in their activities; kissing, for the moment, was more than enough.
“Oh!” Kevin said with a groan. “Forget everything I ever said about missing wine. This is all the intoxication I need. You taste so…”
Scotty chuckled. “You don’t talk like any accountant I’ve ever met.”
Kevin laughed in response, pulling just far enough away to answer the implied question. “That’s because I’m not one, not really. My father just needed someone to step in with the family business after my uncle moved away. Of course, I was in law school at the time, so it could have been worse.”
“What would you be doing?” Scotty asked, lowering his lips to worry Kevin’s earlobe between his teeth. “If you had your choice?”
Kevin gasped, tilting his head back to give Scotty plenty of room. “I’m a writer,” he choked out. “A poet.”
“Really?” Scotty asked in surprise.
“Mmm,” Kevin confirmed. “But it doesn’t pay the bills. And it’s not something a real man does, according to my father.”
Scotty grinned, giving Kevin a quick peck on the lips. “Pretty sure he would say the same thing about this.”
“He probably would,” Kevin agreed, stopping their kiss again as he sobered. “But I don’t care. He’s basically found a way to turn his company around so he’d make the most possible money out of this war. He’s profiting on the lives and futures that his sons are risking - well, that two of them are risking right now, at any rate. I’m not exactly in much danger currently, but that doesn’t mean I don’t resent the way Ojai Foods is staying in business.”
Scotty propped himself on an elbow, looking down at Kevin. “So you won’t be going back there?”
“Definitely not; I don’t care what he says. And - I can write anywhere. I don’t have to stay in L.A. I don’t even have to stay in California. I bet…well, I bet there’s room for poets even in Oxford, Mississippi.”
Scotty grinned happily, ducking his head. “That’s too bad. Because here I was thinking that if I wanted to have a successful medical practice, L.A. would be ideal. I’d really like it if I knew someone who could show me around.”
Kevin stared up at Scotty, a soft smile on his face. Then he reached up, pulling him down for another kiss.
***
Chad quickly glanced at Jason, who hadn’t met his eyes once all day. By the time Jason came out of the bathroom the previous night, he had composed himself and had refused to even listen to Chad’s attempts at an explanation, dismissing what had happened between them as a moment of weakness. And then Chad began to question himself, wonder if he really was just caught up in the heat of the moment, worry that he would hurt Jason in the end once they were back in L.A. and Chad couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge any relationship. And so he had accepted Jason’s arguments, despite the fact that he now felt, frankly, miserable.
They waited on the step of the front door to an amazing vineyard estate. They had knocked twice and just now heard the sound of slow footsteps walking to the door. It opened, and they turned to face the woman who answered.
“Madame Laurent?” Jason asked politely.
“Oui.”
“Ah…parlez-vous anglais?”
“Of course.”
“My name is Jason McCallister; this is my friend Chad Barry. I’m Evan McCallister’s son. Your…first cousin once removed, I guess.”
“Oh! Yes, of course! How’s your father?”
“Great. We’re so sorry to just drop in on you like this, but we’re visiting the country and thought we’d say hello.”
“Not at all. Come in, come in.”
“Thank you.”
“Pleased to meet you, Madame Laurent,” Chad added as he stepped inside the house.
“You can call me Paige, if you wish.”
***
“Kevin,” Scotty said softly one night, the regret and hesitation in his voice making his next statement predictable enough.
Kevin opened his eyes, staring up at the night sky. “Yeah?” he said softly.
“It’s time. We…we have to go.”
“I know,” Kevin agreed.
“This has been…I wish we could stay here forever. I like having this haven where we’re the only people in the world, but…”
“We’re not,” Kevin said, emotionless.
“No. Kevin, I - ”
Kevin rolled over, quickly silencing Scotty as he pulled him into a desperately passionate kiss.
___
“I, Kevin Walker, take thee, Rebecca Harper…”
___
“Hey!”
Kevin spun quickly. “You’re back! Where have you been? You’re shipping out in less than - ”
“I know,” Scotty said apologetically.
The two men walked down the street, bodies as close as they dared in the public street. Scotty reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet.
“The pictures are developed.”
“Oh, thank God. I was beginning to think they wouldn’t be ready.”
“Here,” Scotty handed Kevin a small photograph. “I have yours tucked away already.”
Kevin stared at the photograph, his fingers loosely holding the edges. “You look very…” Kevin cleared his throat, looking up at Scotty meaningfully as he slipped the photo into his breast pocket.
Scotty closed his eyes, exhaling. “I don’t know how to say this. Goodbye, I mean.”
Kevin stopped walking. “Then don’t. We’re going to see each other again, sooner than we even imagine, I’m sure. Just…stay safe.”
“You too,” Scotty said, voice catching. “Don’t go crashing your plane again.”
Kevin smiled softly. “I promise.”
“And you’ll write me?”
“As often as I can. I won’t be able to say all I want to, but I trust you’ll read between the lines.”
Scotty nodded, looking down at his feet. He swallowed, then looked back up, tears in his eyes. “Kevin…”
“Shh, shh. I know.”
Scotty sighed loudly. He closed his eyes, shaking his head quickly. Then he forced a smile to his face. “We’ll see each other soon. In L.A., if not before.”
“And then we’ll have the rest of our lives,” Kevin added quietly, risking a quick touch to Scotty’s hand.
Scotty gave him a small smile.
“I swear. In front of this church, I swear,” Kevin said gruffly. Scotty turned around, looking in surprise at the building a block away. “It’s not our cathedral, I know. And there are no witnesses, and no rites to make it real. But I swear, I’ll wait for you until you find your way to me. I’m yours. Until death do us part, and then some,” he added, smiling through the pain.
“Kevin,” Scotty said, the emotions choking his voice. “I…I don’t have your words and I can’t - just trust in us and in me, OK? We’ll find a way. I promise I’ll come to you, and we’ll be together somehow.”
___
Kevin tapped softly on the door, opening it once he heard the quiet welcome. He peeked around the corner, looking at his new bride as she brushed her hair.
“Good evening, Rebecca.”
“Hello, Kevin,” she said, curiosity about his visit lacing her words.
He walked closer to her, sitting down next to her at the vanity.
“Do you have everything you need?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“I just…ah, I don’t know if you wanted to, but…”
Rebecca smiled as she realized what he was trying to say. She turned to him. “Kevin, you’re a dear friend. And I think we’ve gotten to know each other well since you’ve returned. I don’t expect you to perform your ‘husbandly duty.’ Be kind to me, and take care of me as best you can - that will fulfill any obligation you feel you owe your brother. All I ask is that you stay discreet, if you happen to find some…other companionship.”
Kevin ducked his head quickly. They had skirted around these issues whenever they talked in the weeks between their initial understanding and their marriage, but this was as close as either had come to acknowledging things directly. Rebecca smiled again, reaching her hand out to his and holding it softly as she continued, “My money frees you from your father, and your vows free me from your father, and I think beyond that, we will be rather content living together. But let’s not pretend either one of us married the person we wish to be with. This is…a friendly business arrangement. Nothing more.”
Kevin nodded, taking a breath. Then he squeezed Rebecca’s hand gently. “Good night then,” he said before standing and walking out of the room.
___
Kevin swallowed thickly as he watched the last men of Scotty’s new unit disappear from sight. He himself would be reporting to duty tomorrow, now that the investigation of their absence was finished. He slipped his hand inside his pocket, fingering the edge of the photograph.
“Excuse me, sir,” a young man said as he walked into Kevin’s room. “Telegram.”
“Thank you,” Kevin said, taking the paper.
Overjoyed to hear you are alive and well. Unfortunately must pass on sad news. Justin killed in battle two weeks ago. Details with my next letter. Please be safe, Kitty.
Next Chapter
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