Previous Chapter The meeting was, as Scotty had expected, not going well. And after just about every single comment made by the Army lawyer, he wanted to jump in and explain or defend himself, but Kevin had made it very clear that he shouldn’t talk. He opened his mouth a few times, but Kevin would hold out his hand in a gesture of silence. Scotty was getting enormously frustrated as he watched the two lawyers go back and forth.
"I’m sorry; I don’t know how you can sit there with a straight face and say past treatment for an injury sustained in war can’t be reimbursed or future care can’t be covered by the Army."
"Mr. Wandell was suspended pending immediate discharge."
"He was still officially enlisted. And the only reason he was in danger or at risk of injury was because he was over there."
"That’s just not true, and you know it."
Kevin made a face of mocking disbelief. "Seriously? Were you on the lookout for any bombs on the drive over here this morning? Because I wasn’t."
The other lawyer turned to the judge. "Your honor, Mr. Wandell’s initial operation and rehab did indeed take place in a military hospital and was covered by the United States government. But there’s no indication that his condition and recovery now hasn’t been hindered or his knee damaged due to his subsequent and admitted drug use."
Scotty sat up. "That’s - it - " At the feel of Kevin’s hand on his shoulder, Scotty stopped talking.
"Your honor," Kevin began.
"OK," she interrupted. "I think I’ve heard enough to make my decision. I’m going to review these documents. You’re dismissed for an hour."
The judge stood and walked into a rear office. The three men sat quietly in the room for a second before they began to move. Scotty was first out of the office. He walked across the hall, exhaling slowly as he ran a hand across the back of his head. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his back.
"Come on," Kevin said quietly. "We have some time. You should eat something."
"I’m fine. I’m not hungry."
"Just something small, then. You have to keep your energy up."
Scotty allowed Kevin to guide him down the hallway. "That was awful."
"I think it went...as well as could be expected. There’s nothing we can do about it right now, so just try not to worry."
Scotty scoffed. "Easier said than done."
***
Scotty leaned against the dashboard of Kevin’s car, trying not to cry. "Damn it," he muttered into his arms.
He could feel Kevin’s hand hovering over his shoulder before it finally made contact. "We can appeal."
Scotty sighed, sitting up. "No, that’s OK," he said, running his hands down his face. "I didn’t honestly think we’d win anyway. You’ve done more than enough already."
Kevin shook his head lightly. "I’m still in this. You deserve to win, Scotty, and I’ll continue to fight for that."
Scotty finally looked at Kevin, giving him a small smile. "Thanks, but no. I just...it’s time to move on. My knee is actually a lot better, I’m becoming more secure financially, and..."
"What is it?"
"This brings up too much, you know? It hurts too much to deal with this stuff every day and remember...I want to move on."
"OK. You’re sure?"
"I’m sure."
Kevin took a deep breath. "If there’s anything I can do for you, something I can help you - "
"I’m begging you not to finish that sentence. I’m already, literally, your charity case."
"You’re also my friend and mmph."
Kevin couldn’t get any more words out around Scotty’s palm covering his mouth. They stared at each other, faces inches apart, bodies radiating warmth at each other. Scotty could feel Kevin’s breath from his nose hitting his fingers, and his own breathing grew deeper. He could swear for a second that Kevin’s lips pursed, that he kissed Scotty’s palm. But then he simply nodded. Scotty removed his hand.
"Thank you, though. For everything," he said softly.
And he couldn’t stop himself. He leaned ever-so-slightly forward and pressed his lips softly to Kevin’s. He held them there for a long moment, but when Kevin started to open his mouth, when he lightly touched his tongue to Scotty’s lips, Scotty panicked and pulled back.
Scotty blushed, unable to look at Kevin.
"You’re welcome," Kevin said quietly.
***
Scotty opened the office door with a sigh. He had thought about taking the rest of the day off - Tyler said he should - but he had missed too much work that week already. And he needed something to take his mind off everything, anyway.
"Hey! Scotty!"
Justin was in the office, perched on the corner of Tyler’s desk. They both were staring at him expectantly.
"Well?" Tyler asked.
Scotty pressed his lips together grimly, then shook his head.
"What?!" Tyler exclaimed, and Justin added a "Come on!"
"It’s what I expected," Scotty said as he sat down at his desk.
"That’s just...that’s wrong. Are you going to appeal?" Tyler asked.
Scotty shook his head. "Nope. There’s no point in dragging it out."
"Dude, that sucks. I’m sorry."
Scotty shrugged, then changed the subject. "What are you still doing here?" he asked, looking at his watch. "I thought you were heading out early tonight for the big anniversary extravaganza."
"Yeah," Tyler said, suddenly moving to turn off her computer. "We are. Just wanted to see if we heard from you."
"Aww," Scotty said, half-seriously.
Tyler stood, grabbing her purse. "I’m just going to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back."
Justin and Scotty watched her walk out of the room, and then Justin turned to face him again. "You’re going to be OK, man?"
"Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine."
"You sure?"
"Justin. Go. Have fun. Get engaged."
Justin quickly looked over his shoulder. "Shut up!"
"Oh, what? It’s not like she can hear me. The bathroom’s on the other end of the hall."
"Just..." Justin made an anxious gesture. "Keep it quiet."
Scotty laughed.
***
Scotty thought that everyone who had a fantasy about sex on the beach should try doing it in Iraq. You get over the appeal of warm weather and sand ridiculously quickly. But beggars couldn’t be choosers, and even though he could taste the sweat and the grit on Joe’s skin, these stolen moments were among the best of Scotty’s life.
He drew in a ragged breath and moved his lips back up to Joe’s; Joe responded quickly, opening his mouth, letting Scotty explore, sucking on his tongue and moaning deep in his throat. Hands moved roughly and quickly. They knew they didn’t have much time before someone got curious or concerned and went looking for them. But every time they snuck off like this, it got harder and harder to limit themselves to a few kisses and some fairly innocent touches. Scotty wanted more. Scotty wanted...everything.
He attempted to pull back from the kiss, but Joe followed him, raising a hand to the back of his neck and holding Scotty in place as he deepened their connection again. Scotty ran his hand down Joe’s torso, angling in front to rest it lightly for a moment on Joe’s stomach. He could feel the quick, shuddering movements of Joe’s muscles as he breathed, as he struggled to control himself. Then Scotty moved his hand lower.
In the three or four fast times they had done this, things had never had a chance to progress very far. Usually they would rock against each other’s thighs, feeling the hardness that promised more. Sometimes they would use their hands as well, rubbing at each other through the fabric of their pants. This time, Scotty wasn’t going to settle for that - he wanted to taste Joe, or at the very least, feel his warm flesh directly. He slid his fingers underneath the waistband of Joe’s pants, and then he paused. He stayed as still as possible, waiting for an indication, an invitation from Joe to continue.
Joe momentarily stopped kissing him, tilting his head at an angle and wrapping his arms more fully around Scotty’s neck. He exhaled roughly before quietly moaning Scotty’s name. Then he moved in for another kiss.
Scotty took that as permission.
He pulled slightly at the waistband, giving himself more room, and then pushed his hand in more fully. He wrapped his fingers around Joe’s length and squeezed gently. Joe grunted and rocked his hips. Scotty began to stroke him. He moved faster and faster out of fear, hoping to bring Joe to completion before he himself lost control - a somewhat embarrassing probability, considering no one was even touching him.
Scotty broke the kiss, moving over to tongue the skin behind Joe’s ear. "You feel amazing," he murmured.
He barely heard Joe’s groaned response. But he did hear the approaching footsteps, the voice calling out "is someone back here?"
____
"Hi. Mind if I sit here?"
Scotty looked up at the young man who had spoken. He moved over to make more room.
"First class accommodations, huh? You think they’ll bring us warm towels?"
Scotty laughed, looking around the, well, the cargo container that was military transport.
"Joe Porter," the other man said, holding out his hand.
"Scotty Wandell."
"Nice to meet you, Scotty."
"Likewise."
____
"Oh my God, if I have to listen to those assholes arguing over that stupid game one more time, I swear..."
Scotty nodded, hands in his pockets as they walked further away from the tents. "It’s just a card game. It’s supposed to be fun."
"They’re not even playing for real money, for crying out loud."
They arrived at the last truck in the fleet, and Joe pulled open the door of the bed. He climbed inside and Scotty followed him, sitting next to him on the bench along the wall. Joe stretched out his legs, sighing. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out and putting it in his mouth.
Scotty wrinkled his nose. "I wish you’d give those up," he muttered.
Joe smirked around the cigarette in his mouth before leaning forward, cupping it as he lit it. "Why? It might kill me? We’re getting shot at every day."
"Still," Scotty said.
Joe took a drag, blowing the smoke out of the corner of his mouth, away from Scotty. He then scooched closer, placing an arm around Scotty’s shoulders.
"Want to try it, little boy?"
Scotty burst into laughter. "No."
"Oh come on, all the cool kids are doing it."
Scotty faced Joe, trying not to smile at his "peer pressure" antics. "You’re horrible," he said.
Joe, face inches away, grinned. He raised the cigarette up to his lips and sucked slowly on it. Removing it again, he brushed his lower lip with his thumb. "You love it," he said, tendrils of smoke escaping his mouth with the words.
He held the cigarette out closer to Scotty again and raised his eyebrows in teasing invitation. Scotty pushed his hand away and instead leaned forward, kissing Joe full on the lips.
Joe didn’t move, and seconds later, Scotty pulled back and opened his eyes. Joe was staring at him in shock.
"I - " Scotty began and then was at a loss. "Shit!"
He pushed himself off the bench, heading towards the back of the truck as quickly as he could. He felt Joe grab his arm, and Scotty turned to face him, prepared to be knocked flat by a punch. Instead, Joe merely looked at him in confusion, in surprise, in...something else.
"Do that again," he said.
"What?" Scotty asked, reeling.
Joe stepped closer, pulling Scotty forward as well until there was barely any space between them.
"Do that again," Joe repeated in a whisper.
"Stop smoking," Scotty replied.
Joe stared at him for a beat, before leaning around him and tossing the cigarette to the ground outside. Scotty leaned in again, pressing his lips against Joe’s slightly-open mouth.
___
There were only a few trucks in their convoy, and hardly anyone sitting in the truck with Joe and Scotty. Still there were other people there, so they didn’t risk talking to each other. Scotty had never been so scared or unsure in his life. He didn’t know what was going to happen; he didn’t even know if he’d see or hear from Joe again. He certainly wouldn’t blame him if he cut off all contact. It was Scotty’s fault, after all, that they were even in this mess.
Scotty sighed and he could feel Joe glance at him. Joe shifted slightly in his seat, then lowered his arm, wrapping his fingers around the edge of the seat, right next to where Scotty’s hand was gripping. After a few moments, Joe moved his hand so their pinkies were barely touching. Scotty looked down at his lap and smiled.
Then he stole a look out of the corner of his eye. Joe, ostensibly, wasn’t paying attention to him at all, but Scotty could see the small crinkles by his eyes as he tried to hide his own smile.
And then there was an unexpected bump, and the truck jerked. Both men moved away from each other, grabbing onto the nearest support for balance. And then there was a flash of light.
And then there was nothing.
***
Scotty paced back and forth between his living room and kitchen. Ever since his dream - nightmare, really - of Joe had woken him, he hadn’t even been able to try falling back asleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Joe staring at him, affectionately, teasingly, and occasionally, in reprimand, fear, pain, resentment. He saw himself in the hospital, trying not to cry after his parents left, after his mom said he had disgraced the whole family and she never wanted to see him again. He saw the small office in the courthouse that afternoon, where the judge ruled in favor of the Army.
And God, he was exhausted. He just wanted to sleep. It was almost 3:00 in the morning. His leg hurt from the pacing, or perhaps it was just in his mind, he didn’t know. His mind raced, and he was finding it difficult to breathe. The apartment had never felt so small.
If he could just...take something. Something to calm him down, something to help him sleep. There was a convenience store at the end of the block; it was open all night. He could just go down there and - Scotty whimpered, running his hands down his face.
He had to call Justin. He had to. But Justin and Tyler were out of town. They were staying in a hotel, presumably celebrating. He couldn’t call him. Besides it was 3:00 in the morning.
Scotty dropped into the chair in the kitchen and stared at his cell phone. He bounced his leg nervously. He looked over at his keys. He could just slip them in his pocket, slip on his shoes, run down to the corner...
Scotty grabbed the phone, scrolled through his contacts, and pressed "send."
***
The doorbell rang, and Scotty walked over to open it, sighing in relief.
"Hi," he said, standing aside to let the other man in. "I’m really sorry for calling you so late. And I feel horrible for - "
"Scotty, don’t worry about it," Kevin said as he walked inside the apartment.
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