[RL with Remus]

[why_so_me]

Sirius felt a little bit guilty for this. What he was planning was, essentially, a surprise attack. And Remus was probably going to flail like crazy, but. They needed to talk. And Remus had been making it really really difficult to get the chance to talk to him alone

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[lycanthropy_101]

Remus let himself into the dorms at about a quarter past one, figuring that since they had school the next day, no one would be awake anymore. It wasn't exactly a healthy choice, to be coming in so late and leaving so early in the morning, but at least it meant that there weren't any more awkward moments with Sirius, even if he was starting to get headaches from the strain of not sleeping, on top of the pull of the moon.

Checking to see that everyone was in their beds and not up anymore, Remus quickly got himself ready for bed, before collapsing into it. He was so tired that not even a minute later, he was already halfway to being asleep.

[lycanthropy_101]

Remus sat there in silence for a few more moments after Sirius responded to him, trying to figure out where to go from there. Sirius... Sirius had figured it out. But what's more... Sirius liked him too?

"You..." He swallowed. He had to keep his voice low--who knew if the silencing charm was really going to work, with him calling across from his bed as he was. "...do you mean it? "

[why_so_me]

It was really very tempting to say no. To chuckle and pretend he'd been making a very poor joke, that it had been a silly attempt at a laugh and it had gone badly. Because that would be less humiliating.

But he couldn't, because he wasn't that much of a dick. He'd never do something as cruel as toy with his friend's emotions for a joke, or just to get out of an embarrassing spot.

He only lifted his head enough to clearly reply. "'Course I meant it," he answered before shoving his face back down into his pillow.

[lycanthropy_101]

Remus moved to stand up from his bed, shock and awe bringing him forward across the space between their beds to move and perch on the edge of Sirius's mattress, gazing down at him, still looking a bit like a deer in the headlights. "And... You meant the other part, too? Y'know. About. Kissing...?" he asked, blushing a bright crimson. Honestly, he had absolutely no idea where he was going with this, but. He was obviously headed somewhere.

[why_so_me]

He could tell from the sudden weight on the mattress and the sound of Moony's voice that he was sitting on his bed. The question he'd asked wasn't what he'd expected...shouldn't Remus be upset with him, or at least acknowledge the mind-boggling awkwardness of what had just happened?

Sirius shifted so that he could turn his head to look up at his friend's face. Even in the dim light of their room, he could see the Remus' expression and the deep blush on his face. In spite of himself, his heart actually skipped a beat. Did that mean...?

"Y-yeah," he answered, rolling himself so that he was facing Remus and laying on his side. "Yeah, I did."

[lycanthropy_101]

Remus swallowed. Hard. What the hell was he doing? What did he even think he was doing? Was he even thinking at all? God, his mind was telling him that he needed to abandon ship, abandon ship, this was way too complicated and confusing and embarrassing to even think of, but.

"I... I think..." he stammered, blushing, staring down at Sirius, his eyes wider than ever, and god, he looked terrified. "I... I'd... I'd really like... I'd really like it if...if you... If we..."

[why_so_me]

Even in the very dim light of their room, Sirius could see Remus how hard Remus was blushing, how wide his eyes were. And even though he was stammering hard, Sirius could guess what he was trying to say (or was it what he hoped Remus would say?)

He pushed himself up from where he lay so that he would be sitting facing Remus. Sirius' heart was beating fast, and silently he prayed to anyone who would listen that he wasn't crazy, that he really wasn't misreading everything completely.

Without even waiting for Remus to finish what he was trying to say, he leaned in and pressed his lips up against his in a soft, open-mouthed kiss.

[lycanthropy_101]

Not that Remus really was getting anywhere with what he was saying, but as soon as Sirius sat up and pressed his lips against his, any semblance of thought whatsoever went right out the window for him. It wasn't that he necessarily froze, or anything like that. It was more that his brain was taking an awful long time to come to the therms that yes, Sirius was kissing him, he wasn't just making this up, this was actually, really happening.

And he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. He'd never been kissed before. He'd never even really paid attention to kissing before. He knew that it was supposed to be nice, and that he wanted to do it, and he'd even fantasized about doing it more often than he would ever admit aloud, but. Now that it was actually happening...he really wished that he'd thought to look into it further beforehand.

[why_so_me]

Remus wasn't moving or reacting in any way, but he wasn't pushing him away, so...what did that mean? Either he didn't know how to respond or was too nice to shove him off, and Sirius was at the point where he honestly didn't know.

He pulled away, detaching himself from the kiss. Sirius sat back a little, looking at Remus, at his expression. Remus was kind of cute when he looked flustered.

"You need to give me something to go off of, here," Sirius said, propping himself up on his hand so he could lean back to look at his friend. "I can't tell if I'm misreading everything, or what's going on anymore."

[lycanthropy_101]

Remus blushed harder, trying to formulate words, cursing the fact that Sirius was so confident with himself about all of this, when he'd only just figured it out, while meanwhile Remus himself had had almost a month to process, and he was still finding it difficult to come to terms with.

"I..." he stammered, shutting his mouth and clearing his throat to try and make his voice sound steadier than it was. "I... Of all the ways I thought you would react to this... I. I never thought... I never thought that you'd do that," he said, absolutely dumbfounded.

[why_so_me]

Sirius smiled a tiny bit. "Yeah, well," he said. "I didn't exactly expect to, either." If he'd told the version of himself from three weeks ago that he would be confessing romantic feelings to Moony in the most awkward way possible, he'd have laughed.

"So...I mean," Sirius said, trying to get a straight answer because dammit Moony why can't you just say things straight out. "...was I right?" He was really kind of dying to get things clear and straightforward.

[lycanthropy_101]

Remus nodded, his expression not really changing as he stared at Sirius across the darkness. "Yeah..." he said, breathlessly. "I... You... You were right..." Remus had been exhausted, nearly asleep, woken up out of that by Sirius sitting on him, telling him he'd figured out his secret and then told him he liked him too, ran away, kissed him, and now... Remus was feeling more than a little overwhelmed. "I... Yeah..."

[why_so_me]

Sirius smiled. Grinned, really. So. He wasn't crazy, and Remus really did like him. And he liked Remus. Which meant that things could be good between them now, with no more of Remus avoiding him.

"Good," Sirius said, letting out a small chuckled of relief. "I'm glad. Because. It really would have sucked to have said all that, and you didn't feel the same."

[lycanthropy_101]

"Yeah..." Remus said, feeling like he was working through a thick fog to get anything processed at all in his brain. "...the same..." He probably looked, well, ridiculous, sitting there staring at Sirius. He just... Sirius likedliked him. What's more, Sirius had kissed him, and Remus. Remus had absolutely no idea what to do about any of it.

[why_so_me]

Sirius tilted his head, looking at Moony and how he seemed to be kind of dumbstruck. And lost all powers of speech. "Are you okay?" he asked, sitting up further.

[lycanthropy_101]

Remus looked down at Sirius, watched him sitting up closer to him, unable to change the expression on his face, or really do much of anything. He couldn't say that he was okay, because he wasn't exactly, but. "You... You kissed me," he said, sounding as dumbfounded he looked in that moment.