[Fanfiction] Dismantlement

[whitesin]

Title: Dismantlement
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Genre(s): Drama/Historical/Angst
Character(s)|Pairing(s): France, England, Austria, Russia, references to HRE
Rating/Warning(s): R, violence, language, disturbing imagery
Word Count: 2,588
Summary: Long awaited fic trade for kalisona . France goes many steps forward and slides many more back, dragging England

Comments

[imnotsp0iled]

Oh wow...
That was very well written, but ... oh my.

[whitesin]

Definitely not a comfortable fic... I was truly intending on emphasizing a disturbing mood.

Thank you!

[tuulensisko]

... I have no words.

Wow.

*collects thoughts* I just... loved it. It was sort of inconsistent, like a collection of pieces that don't seem to belong together before you look harder. But it worked. The first was perhaps the weakest but oh the one with Madame Guillotine in the mirror, chessmatch with England and Russia burning himself. I don't know how you came up with using that play script format but it worked well, sort of strange and unexpected but wow. I could see the scene played as I read, felt as if I was in the theatre.

Such... subtle symbolics.

And btw, this goes to my memories.

[whitesin]

I didn't intend to make the entire story fully cohesive; if anything, the inconsistency kind of adds to the overall theme I was trying to carry through, now that I look about it retrospectively, as well as the title. Yes, I agree that the first perspective of France's is pretty weak; my grasp of France as a character isn't nearly as good as I would like, particularly for such a France-centric story.

The play format isn't my own idea. I got it from metallic_sweet, who I find to be a very admirable screenplay writer. It just seemed to work as another type of allegory.... ^^; I would end up annoying anyone who wants to direct a play; I'm too wordy and too exacting with background details.

Ah, thank you very much!

[tuulensisko]

Yes, it worked very well, the inconsistency!

Haha, try reading old screenplays. I read the original Peter Pan just a while ago and it had ridiculous amounts of description.

[whitesin]

^^; I was taking the Oscar Wilde approach, mainly. He has wicked amounts of description too, going as far as to describe the exact type of looks and demeanors of each of his characters particularly in "An Ideal Husband" and "Lady Windermere's Fan." Such gems as "Resembles a Tanagra statuette but would be very annoyed if you told her" and "Like a piece of art but showing the influence of too many schools."

[ludicmelody]

wow. Just wow.

Normally here, I would say what my favourite part was or something, but. No, I just loved this in it's entirety. This was absolutely brilliant.♥

[whitesin]

My... thank you very much for your kind words. ^_^

[whitesin]

I realize that unconsciously, I change styles when I'm writing different characters (and to a certain extent, different time periods), sometimes pretty drastically. Though that seems to be the case with most sorts of fiction, I'm sure... /pedantic

Marianne insisted on a part in the story from the get-go and I wanted to make her part bigger (make her a continuing thread of France's mental instability throughout the fic) but it didn't work out. Eh... Actually, I wrote most of this in one go not too long ago. ^^; I'd say everything from Napoleon to the end was written in one sitting. My muse is such a fickle bastard.

Mm... I'm just glad you liked it! I'm still so sorry that I couldn't get this to you in a timely manner.

[miershyk]

*collects pieces of fallen thoughts to be shuffled properly back in her head*

At first, the change to the 'screenplay format' threw me off beat a tad, but it played out really well in the scenes between France and England, and also later with Russia. It's like watching a play, with the little cryptic words in it, certain events portrayed easily, but with deeper meaning, with the use of the chess and also the burning fire and firebird.

It feels like looking into random bits and pieces of France instead of the smooth flow, but it doesn't feel jarring or too sudden of a change. Something akin to weaving in and out of history. Just about every part is a favourite of mine, though I would have to give special mention to Marianne's part, and I really love the screenplay format for Russia.

Took me some time to finish reading it cause I got distracted instead but like your other writings, it's truly stunning. ^^

[whitesin]

I don't think I intended quite the level of allegory but it just happened anyways. Military history and depictions of battles tend to elude me -sheepish smile- so at least in the chess match, allegory worked better for me (though I'm not a chess player at all).

If it was jarring or sudden, it wouldn't have been too far from what I wanted. I did want to emphasize France's fractured mental and emotional state, but also others' view of said state and how he affected them on such a profound level. Marianne was fun to write; her part was definitely one of the first scenes I brainstormed. Russia's part was thanks to metallic_sweet as well as the firebird imagery.

Ah, thank you very much!