Trust Me, Baby ch12
Title: Trust Me, Baby
Author: white_coral
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Taemin was young, very young. He doesn't even know how tough the reality is outside. Yet, instead of succeeding his attempt of running away from home and starts fresh,he got himself into a bigger trouble. Young Taemin got pregnant. What will happen? Is the child acceptable to the father? Will Taemin survive alone in the inspiring city of New York? Read prologue for more details. hehe.
Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
**********
"Do not worry, sir. We will take care of Miss Itzel properly. Please, enjoy your night to the fullest." The man in suit bows at us before dissapearing into Itzel's room with three attendants to look after the lone baby.
"Let's go." Minho said and walks out of the room. Too natural, I think. He acts more confident and stern suddenly. Like the way he hugged me, or the way he asked me to go dinner with him earlier. Oh, no. He didn't asked. He commanded me to. And without allowing me to disagree(or agree), I was left in the room alone to change my clothing. He came back later wearing a black suit which made him look..... gorgeous.
Ehem. No, not that.
The hug. That warm, warm arms. Is it what I feel it is? Or it is just me yearning for it? I shrug it away. It's the frog you're talking about Taem! What's going on with your head now?! But, the hug....
"Hey." I call out to him as we leave the room and walk down the corridor to the lift. A bit of uncertainty of leaving Itzel held me, but I brush it off. Four people watch after her, what am I worried for?
"Hm?" Minho answers without looking at me, hands tucked in his pockets.
"Why dinner?" I ask, feeling blunder at his actions. He chuckled lightly, and look at me as if I was a dork at asking such thing.
"No reason." Minho answered, eyes obviously saying 'of course there's a reason idiot'. My brows furrow at his smile.
"Are you joking with me? Do you think I'm a toy to play w---"
"No, you're not. Don't think that way anymore." With a charismatic tone which almost stunned me, the frog cuts me before I could finish talking and to prevent me from arguing any further, he pulls my waist, leading us into the lift filled with three wealthy-looking old ladies. Even after the lift's door closes, his hand never leaves my waist. I squirm uncomfortably at his touch and the eyes that befallen our intimacy from behind.
"Oh my! This couple are such cute boys! And romantic to boot!" One of the lady whispers, but to me, it sounded like a trumpet on my ear. I glare at Minho from the corner of my eyes. I definitely caught the sight of his small smirk. Is this situation amusing to him??
"Gee, I agree! They look perfect together!" Another lady added her comment. Gosh it's getting sooo annoying. Argh dammit! How long do we wait to reach the lobby?! My foot taps in an impatient manner. In other hands, I think Minho feels comfortable, resting his hand on my waist as if we're....
"These boys are actually married." The third lady spoke out a statement that made my eyes bulge and froze while Minho stiffles a laughter. Worser than I thought!!
"My husband and I sat next to their seat on our flight here this morning and they were much more affectionate then! The shorter one fell asleep and his head was leaning on the taller one's shoulder! The taller one kissed the top of the shorter one's head before falling asleep as well and they held hands while sleeping! Oh, and they already have a baby! Such a cute little girl she was! Oh I just couldn't forget those moments!" I could hear them giggling like little girls, chattering happily.
I felt my soul leaving my body from my mouth as I smiled grimly at my unfortunate fate. I don't know whether I'm listening to a comedy sitcom or a soon-to-be fact. Whatever it is, I hate Choi Minho. Damn the frog...
Wait.
What do I mean of 'soon-to-be fact'?
"Just so you know," The stupid frog leans closer to me to whisper. And I mean a 'real' whisper.
"That lady is telling the truth." Yes, he admitted he's a pervert. And soon after he said so, the lift's door open to reveal a vast area of lobby brimming with staffs and customers scattered around messily. Finally!! I thought as I could breath in more easily. Minho, with his hand still stuck on my waist, briskly walk us both to the grand entrance door, anger written on my forehead.
"Black Chevrolet Camaro. BJY 1821." Minho employed a young car attendant to fetch the car and passed the car keys to him. He hastily left to the parking lots.
I elbowed the frog's stomach without warning and Minho step away from me, his smile never leaving his handsome features.
"What was that?!" I burst out, not caring if anybody stopped and stare at us.
"What was what?" He asks innocently. A playful smirk plastered on his smug expression. Darn it, every little action of his annoys me so much!
"Why did you stuck your hand on my waist?! Inviting unwanted attention that gives unwanted comments?! Why did you kissed the top of my head?! Why did you held my hand?! AND YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER TO ITZEL!!" I was about to yell out again, but Minho shut my mouth using his hand, and I give out muffled complains, hands actively pursuing to hurt him. Meanwhile, Minho looks around at the people that observes our arguement.
"Sorry, sorry.... You know, PMS." The frog stated with a menacing smile and everyone ignore us afterwards, grinning at how silly I am.
ARGHHH!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE KILLING HIM SOO MUCHHH!!!!!!!
**********
All along our silent journey in the car until we reach the restaurant where I reserved for our dinner, Taemin stood upset at me. But, that brought smiles to me and teasing him is such an addicting hobby. His annoyed looks are so cute and adorable, much like a 7 year-old child not given what he wants. Well, not that I like it or anything... A waiter welcomed us after we stepped out of the car, offering to lead us to our table. Taemin didn't want to follow at first and he shove my hand away when I tried to pull his hand.
"Don't make me do that." I taunt the stubborn chick.
"Do what? You ca---Waargh!" Taemin protested as I hoist him in my arms, holding him in bridal-style. I eyed the startled waiter to proceed and I tag along him as we make through the restaurant to our table, with Taemin wriggling angrily at me and almost every customer glance to our way.
As soon as we reach at the most back of the restaurant, the waiter opened a large, time-worn wooden door, and stated that it was the special spot I asked them to save. Although the chick's hands were shoving away my chin roughly, I couldn't tore my eyes away from the beautiful view. Better than I hoped for. Worth every dollar.
"NO!! Let me down!! Stupid frog! You make me look bad!!" Taemin was about to complain some more, but his action froze and his eyes stuck at the same scenery spread before his fascinated eyes. I grin.
"Leave us. I'll call for you later." I said to the waiter and he immediately bows before leaving the venue. I stepped inside. Silence overtook the surrounding and the wind blows towards us, reminding us the coldness of approaching Winter. The venue, where the scenery of glistening lake accompanied with a couple swans floating about the water and the surrounding bleak yet elegant trees of the forest had indeed stunned the innocent child in my arms.
I just can't help it. I just want to make him happy. Just want him to forget those painful memories. Though I doubt he could.
"Did you....um...reserved this place?" Taemin asked, facing me with big-doe eyes that he probably didn't knew he displayed, his hands uconsciously slid down from my face to my shoulder. I smile warmly at him in return.
"Was it.... was it expensive?"
"Does it look expensive?" He nods slowly at my question. "Then, so be it." I added.
"Umm....thanks. I like it..." He murmured shallowly.
'Yeah, I know you would like it that's why I did it for you.' Like I would be able to say that in open. Pshh.
"O-oh! Let me down!" Taemin struggled and jumped out of my arms, after realizing what position he was in. He clears his throat. I chuckled lightly and he raised his hand in attempt to hurt me. I flinched, the smile not leaving my lips. Musing an annoyed expression, he puts down his hand and took a sit at the sole table, three slim candle lighted on the middle of it. I also took my seat opposite of him.
"I haven't heard the reason." Taemin spoke up, cheeks still flushed at the earlier actions.
"Reason of what?" I enquire, not exactly catching the topic.
"Firstly, why did you kissed the top of my head while I was sleeping? You pervert."
"Ahh~ That. When you leaned on my shoulder after falling asleep, I thought you smelled different. So I wasn't really kissing the top of your head. I was confirming your shampoo fragrance." I said in a calm manner. Despite myself doing so, I knew it was weird that a stranger knows about his usual fragrance. Though it seems that he least suspected that aspect.
"Oh, I used Dahae-noona's shampoo, that's why. Then, why held my hand?" He throws another question, eyes looking strictly adorable serious.
"That...." My eyes roam around, searching for an answer. I don't have the memory of doing so. But when I woke up afterwards, I certainly felt his warm hand on mine. "I thought it was Itzel's."
"Spare me your stupid joke. Do you think this is as big as Itzel's?" Taemin stretches his hand in front of my
face, a smile starts to form on his small face. I laugh in reply.
"Hey." I put down his hand on the table, eyes turning serious at him. Taemin blinks in reply.
Inhaling, "Why didn't you return to Korea when you had the chance?" I said. I thought I saw a frown on his face, which had almost made me regret my words. But, I ignored it. I need to know. I don't know why. But I just need to know. I want to help.
"I..." He started. The wind blows again, this time a little softer. But the trees rustles anyway, blowing away a few various coloured dead leaves that now afloat on top of the water.
"I'm still not proud of myself." He continued. Taemin faces down, a forlorn smile decorates his rosy, plump lips. "I had vowed once....To prove what I could be...But.. ehehe... Guess I just haven't any time to spare." He pauses to let out a small laughter. Should I say, as expected?
"Wait." He looks into my eyes, his expression showed realization. "Why you ask? Did Dahae-noona said something to you??" I grew streaked at his suspicion. His eyes squint in doubt.
"Oh! No no no! What are you talking about! Ahahahahahaha! Waiter!" I called after the door, to avoid that subject where soon the waiter emerges almost immediately.
But I felt Taemin's eyes burning through me all through dinner. And I did not hated that attention.
**********
We walked by the lake side after dinner, where a short, moss-grown stone railing surrounded the lake. I could see the moon reflected on top of the unclear water. I attempted to walk on top of the railing and Minho held my left hand to keep me from stumbling or falling, while my right hand erratically balancing myself. Hee walked me round the lake, the only sound surrounding were our small talk, arguements(as usual...) and laughters.
I hate to admit it, but an unusual feeling did rouse me. It was hard to keep my lips from smiling too much.
But I figure, the frog was the same. And...
Minho's hand, felt warm. Shush, maybe because the air was plainly cold. That's why. But is his hand so plainly warm? No. Far better.
"We should have brought Itzel." Minho said as we paused our steps and I faced him, both hands automatically holding his now, stumbling a little. "I wish she could see this view." He breathed out.
"Well, I wouldn't advice so. She hates coldness you know." And I hate it too. But it doesn't seems so cold to me anymore. Maybe time had allowed me to heal. Along with my friends, Dahae-Noona and..... Minho.
Though I say so, I feel kind of..... afraid. It's weird. It's not what I think it is, right? Right, Minho? It's not what I feared for my whole life, right? The same cycle... won't happen again, right?
Huh..? What the hell have I been thinking...?
Shaking my head to get off from the thoughts, a grim smile graces my lips. I look up and realize that Minho had been dozing off as well and silence had overtook us for a while. His still feature made me ponder upon his slightly pale skin, his sharp jawline, the outline of his nose and his brows that are usually covered by his curly locks of bang. Seems like it furrows all the time. Only when he laughs genuinely, then I could see the soft expression of his and the warm glow he radiates that comes rarely. His lips would curve up enthusiastically and his white teeth will show how earnest his smile is. Those moments too, made everything felt right.
But, no. Nothing was right. In reality, my life had never been any right other than those assumptions I made just to ease my fright. It's not that I'm so needy of fawning and I certainly don't want any pity from others. I don't deserve those because the things that happened, the memories I made, the mistakes that are not erasable are all branched from the single choice I made; to run away.
A fake smile covers my lips. Oh goodness.
What a corrupted parent I am to Itzel, to call her a mistake. I suppose I don't deserve such an angel as well. Even Key, who was there for me all the time yet all I do was being a nuisance to him again and again. And Dahae-noona, my parents are all burdened by my infirmity. All I did for them was cry and sought attention just so they won't abandon me.
Even with Minho....I am just a bother.
"Why are you crying? Don't worry... I'm here with you remember?" A warm, calloused thumb wipe away the spilling string of tears that I didn't know I have let the dam burst.
My big, dampened eyes saw the sight of Minho.
The warmth belonged to Minho which looked at me with caring eyes, as if he saw through me. As if he knew all the negativity I pinned up by myself.
As if he's.....correct.
I don't know why...? Why? Why am I so vulnerable in front of him? Why am I crying over the fear of him leaving my side? He's nothing to me. I'm nothing to him.
The fear of being abandoned.
The hauntings of those terrible memories.
I am, once again, burdening somebody else.
Slightly shaking, I open my mouth to speak. But what came out was a high-pitched squeak as I was surprised by the swan sounding out behind me, resembling a loud honk. I flinched, and standing on top of a railing did not helped my balance. Eventually I hugged the person standing in front of me, who was ready to catch me from falling. We collapse on the grass with a loud thump, with me on top of Minho and burying my embarassed face on the crook of his neck, hands circled around it. I hear him groan in pain, but his arms are still kept secure around my waist.
Wind blew a bit more harsh than last time, which made the sound of leaves rustling and air colliding. I felt it touches my exposed skin and as it felt cold, it felt light as well.
I could not stop my tears. It's not because of the melancholic feelings I always felt that had caused my cries.
It was because of Minho's words. It is as if he opened the cork of everything I've bottled up. With only those simple words he kept repeating.
“It’s okay now. Stop suppressing. I’m here.”
"Don't worry... I'm here with you remember?"
It was because I was afraid I'd trust him.
**********
My hand found itself stroking through Taemin's brown locks on the back of his neck. He was shivering slightly and I felt the drops of tears on my neck and on my shoulder, wettening my shirt.
That's right Taemin. That's how you do it. Cry all you want. Don't waste time looking back and regretting what happened. Look forward and start making things happen. That's the first step of creating a better reality. You're the prettiest when you're happy.
"I'm sorry... I just can't help it...." He said softly, voice shaken and gasping for air from time to time. Despite of the internal struggle Taemin is having, I just could not stop grinning. I felt euphoric to be able to set free the tears he had held all the time. And it was easier than I expected.
Or is it that I did not expect his feelings? Towards myself?
No way you frog he hates you so fucking much.
"I'm sorry...." Taemin repeated his words.
"Shh.... Just know that everyone feels broken sometimes." I whispered to him, hands patting his back. I felt his arms tightening around my neck.
"I've been replaced, lied to, cheated on, forgotten and treated like I'm worthless....." His words coming out in slow, writhing tone. He must have hurted so much. God, I feel like punching that Jonghyun so much now.
"Just for once, I want someone to be afraid of losing me...." He said.
I felt an ache.
'Hey, you're holding onto that someone.' I bite my lips to prevent those words from spilling. I don't know why those words form in my mind.
"People say you can't live without love. But I think oxygen is more important." I said bluntly instead. Taemin laughed at my words and his tears stopped.
Quiet replaces the soft cries of Taemin and I allowed him to collect himself together in silent. Looking clearly, I realize that from my position, I could see the sea of stars decorating the vast canopy of sky. The moon was full and the whole scenery was beautiful.
As I hold Taemin closely, transferring warmth from each other, a smile carved on my lips.
Once again, you have no idea how it seems so right.
**********
Okay.
Short.
Drama.
Fail angst.
Boring.
And no Jjong yet.
Ahhh~!!! I'm so sorry! I did try to bring out Jjong, but my hand just won't write it!!( i bet you're thinking i'm just a writer with excuses..... yeah i am.) But i have the scene carved in my mind already. So maybe just wait for another chapter or two for Jjong's appearance. But there's a problem...... yes the problem that will torture you again.
The torture of waiting!
Yeah you guess right, I have final exams soon and my mother had been nagging cuz i keep holed up in my room sitting slumped in front of my new laptop and reading or writing fics most of my time. She'll confiscate my laptop if I don't focus on my studies and that will certainly hinder my fic writing session. So, please be patient my darling readers!! I will be back with updates in a few weeks!!
meanwhile, enjoy the chap. Do comment, okie dokie? lots of love! Mwuah!! =3
Author: white_coral
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Taemin was young, very young. He doesn't even know how tough the reality is outside. Yet, instead of succeeding his attempt of running away from home and starts fresh,he got himself into a bigger trouble. Young Taemin got pregnant. What will happen? Is the child acceptable to the father? Will Taemin survive alone in the inspiring city of New York? Read prologue for more details. hehe.
Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
**********
"Do not worry, sir. We will take care of Miss Itzel properly. Please, enjoy your night to the fullest." The man in suit bows at us before dissapearing into Itzel's room with three attendants to look after the lone baby.
"Let's go." Minho said and walks out of the room. Too natural, I think. He acts more confident and stern suddenly. Like the way he hugged me, or the way he asked me to go dinner with him earlier. Oh, no. He didn't asked. He commanded me to. And without allowing me to disagree(or agree), I was left in the room alone to change my clothing. He came back later wearing a black suit which made him look..... gorgeous.
Ehem. No, not that.
The hug. That warm, warm arms. Is it what I feel it is? Or it is just me yearning for it? I shrug it away. It's the frog you're talking about Taem! What's going on with your head now?! But, the hug....
"Hey." I call out to him as we leave the room and walk down the corridor to the lift. A bit of uncertainty of leaving Itzel held me, but I brush it off. Four people watch after her, what am I worried for?
"Hm?" Minho answers without looking at me, hands tucked in his pockets.
"Why dinner?" I ask, feeling blunder at his actions. He chuckled lightly, and look at me as if I was a dork at asking such thing.
"No reason." Minho answered, eyes obviously saying 'of course there's a reason idiot'. My brows furrow at his smile.
"Are you joking with me? Do you think I'm a toy to play w---"
"No, you're not. Don't think that way anymore." With a charismatic tone which almost stunned me, the frog cuts me before I could finish talking and to prevent me from arguing any further, he pulls my waist, leading us into the lift filled with three wealthy-looking old ladies. Even after the lift's door closes, his hand never leaves my waist. I squirm uncomfortably at his touch and the eyes that befallen our intimacy from behind.
"Oh my! This couple are such cute boys! And romantic to boot!" One of the lady whispers, but to me, it sounded like a trumpet on my ear. I glare at Minho from the corner of my eyes. I definitely caught the sight of his small smirk. Is this situation amusing to him??
"Gee, I agree! They look perfect together!" Another lady added her comment. Gosh it's getting sooo annoying. Argh dammit! How long do we wait to reach the lobby?! My foot taps in an impatient manner. In other hands, I think Minho feels comfortable, resting his hand on my waist as if we're....
"These boys are actually married." The third lady spoke out a statement that made my eyes bulge and froze while Minho stiffles a laughter. Worser than I thought!!
"My husband and I sat next to their seat on our flight here this morning and they were much more affectionate then! The shorter one fell asleep and his head was leaning on the taller one's shoulder! The taller one kissed the top of the shorter one's head before falling asleep as well and they held hands while sleeping! Oh, and they already have a baby! Such a cute little girl she was! Oh I just couldn't forget those moments!" I could hear them giggling like little girls, chattering happily.
I felt my soul leaving my body from my mouth as I smiled grimly at my unfortunate fate. I don't know whether I'm listening to a comedy sitcom or a soon-to-be fact. Whatever it is, I hate Choi Minho. Damn the frog...
Wait.
What do I mean of 'soon-to-be fact'?
"Just so you know," The stupid frog leans closer to me to whisper. And I mean a 'real' whisper.
"That lady is telling the truth." Yes, he admitted he's a pervert. And soon after he said so, the lift's door open to reveal a vast area of lobby brimming with staffs and customers scattered around messily. Finally!! I thought as I could breath in more easily. Minho, with his hand still stuck on my waist, briskly walk us both to the grand entrance door, anger written on my forehead.
"Black Chevrolet Camaro. BJY 1821." Minho employed a young car attendant to fetch the car and passed the car keys to him. He hastily left to the parking lots.
I elbowed the frog's stomach without warning and Minho step away from me, his smile never leaving his handsome features.
"What was that?!" I burst out, not caring if anybody stopped and stare at us.
"What was what?" He asks innocently. A playful smirk plastered on his smug expression. Darn it, every little action of his annoys me so much!
"Why did you stuck your hand on my waist?! Inviting unwanted attention that gives unwanted comments?! Why did you kissed the top of my head?! Why did you held my hand?! AND YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER TO ITZEL!!" I was about to yell out again, but Minho shut my mouth using his hand, and I give out muffled complains, hands actively pursuing to hurt him. Meanwhile, Minho looks around at the people that observes our arguement.
"Sorry, sorry.... You know, PMS." The frog stated with a menacing smile and everyone ignore us afterwards, grinning at how silly I am.
ARGHHH!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE KILLING HIM SOO MUCHHH!!!!!!!
**********
All along our silent journey in the car until we reach the restaurant where I reserved for our dinner, Taemin stood upset at me. But, that brought smiles to me and teasing him is such an addicting hobby. His annoyed looks are so cute and adorable, much like a 7 year-old child not given what he wants. Well, not that I like it or anything... A waiter welcomed us after we stepped out of the car, offering to lead us to our table. Taemin didn't want to follow at first and he shove my hand away when I tried to pull his hand.
"Don't make me do that." I taunt the stubborn chick.
"Do what? You ca---Waargh!" Taemin protested as I hoist him in my arms, holding him in bridal-style. I eyed the startled waiter to proceed and I tag along him as we make through the restaurant to our table, with Taemin wriggling angrily at me and almost every customer glance to our way.
As soon as we reach at the most back of the restaurant, the waiter opened a large, time-worn wooden door, and stated that it was the special spot I asked them to save. Although the chick's hands were shoving away my chin roughly, I couldn't tore my eyes away from the beautiful view. Better than I hoped for. Worth every dollar.
"NO!! Let me down!! Stupid frog! You make me look bad!!" Taemin was about to complain some more, but his action froze and his eyes stuck at the same scenery spread before his fascinated eyes. I grin.
"Leave us. I'll call for you later." I said to the waiter and he immediately bows before leaving the venue. I stepped inside. Silence overtook the surrounding and the wind blows towards us, reminding us the coldness of approaching Winter. The venue, where the scenery of glistening lake accompanied with a couple swans floating about the water and the surrounding bleak yet elegant trees of the forest had indeed stunned the innocent child in my arms.
I just can't help it. I just want to make him happy. Just want him to forget those painful memories. Though I doubt he could.
"Did you....um...reserved this place?" Taemin asked, facing me with big-doe eyes that he probably didn't knew he displayed, his hands uconsciously slid down from my face to my shoulder. I smile warmly at him in return.
"Was it.... was it expensive?"
"Does it look expensive?" He nods slowly at my question. "Then, so be it." I added.
"Umm....thanks. I like it..." He murmured shallowly.
'Yeah, I know you would like it that's why I did it for you.' Like I would be able to say that in open. Pshh.
"O-oh! Let me down!" Taemin struggled and jumped out of my arms, after realizing what position he was in. He clears his throat. I chuckled lightly and he raised his hand in attempt to hurt me. I flinched, the smile not leaving my lips. Musing an annoyed expression, he puts down his hand and took a sit at the sole table, three slim candle lighted on the middle of it. I also took my seat opposite of him.
"I haven't heard the reason." Taemin spoke up, cheeks still flushed at the earlier actions.
"Reason of what?" I enquire, not exactly catching the topic.
"Firstly, why did you kissed the top of my head while I was sleeping? You pervert."
"Ahh~ That. When you leaned on my shoulder after falling asleep, I thought you smelled different. So I wasn't really kissing the top of your head. I was confirming your shampoo fragrance." I said in a calm manner. Despite myself doing so, I knew it was weird that a stranger knows about his usual fragrance. Though it seems that he least suspected that aspect.
"Oh, I used Dahae-noona's shampoo, that's why. Then, why held my hand?" He throws another question, eyes looking strictly adorable serious.
"That...." My eyes roam around, searching for an answer. I don't have the memory of doing so. But when I woke up afterwards, I certainly felt his warm hand on mine. "I thought it was Itzel's."
"Spare me your stupid joke. Do you think this is as big as Itzel's?" Taemin stretches his hand in front of my
face, a smile starts to form on his small face. I laugh in reply.
"Hey." I put down his hand on the table, eyes turning serious at him. Taemin blinks in reply.
Inhaling, "Why didn't you return to Korea when you had the chance?" I said. I thought I saw a frown on his face, which had almost made me regret my words. But, I ignored it. I need to know. I don't know why. But I just need to know. I want to help.
"I..." He started. The wind blows again, this time a little softer. But the trees rustles anyway, blowing away a few various coloured dead leaves that now afloat on top of the water.
"I'm still not proud of myself." He continued. Taemin faces down, a forlorn smile decorates his rosy, plump lips. "I had vowed once....To prove what I could be...But.. ehehe... Guess I just haven't any time to spare." He pauses to let out a small laughter. Should I say, as expected?
"Wait." He looks into my eyes, his expression showed realization. "Why you ask? Did Dahae-noona said something to you??" I grew streaked at his suspicion. His eyes squint in doubt.
"Oh! No no no! What are you talking about! Ahahahahahaha! Waiter!" I called after the door, to avoid that subject where soon the waiter emerges almost immediately.
But I felt Taemin's eyes burning through me all through dinner. And I did not hated that attention.
**********
We walked by the lake side after dinner, where a short, moss-grown stone railing surrounded the lake. I could see the moon reflected on top of the unclear water. I attempted to walk on top of the railing and Minho held my left hand to keep me from stumbling or falling, while my right hand erratically balancing myself. Hee walked me round the lake, the only sound surrounding were our small talk, arguements(as usual...) and laughters.
I hate to admit it, but an unusual feeling did rouse me. It was hard to keep my lips from smiling too much.
But I figure, the frog was the same. And...
Minho's hand, felt warm. Shush, maybe because the air was plainly cold. That's why. But is his hand so plainly warm? No. Far better.
"We should have brought Itzel." Minho said as we paused our steps and I faced him, both hands automatically holding his now, stumbling a little. "I wish she could see this view." He breathed out.
"Well, I wouldn't advice so. She hates coldness you know." And I hate it too. But it doesn't seems so cold to me anymore. Maybe time had allowed me to heal. Along with my friends, Dahae-Noona and..... Minho.
Though I say so, I feel kind of..... afraid. It's weird. It's not what I think it is, right? Right, Minho? It's not what I feared for my whole life, right? The same cycle... won't happen again, right?
Huh..? What the hell have I been thinking...?
Shaking my head to get off from the thoughts, a grim smile graces my lips. I look up and realize that Minho had been dozing off as well and silence had overtook us for a while. His still feature made me ponder upon his slightly pale skin, his sharp jawline, the outline of his nose and his brows that are usually covered by his curly locks of bang. Seems like it furrows all the time. Only when he laughs genuinely, then I could see the soft expression of his and the warm glow he radiates that comes rarely. His lips would curve up enthusiastically and his white teeth will show how earnest his smile is. Those moments too, made everything felt right.
But, no. Nothing was right. In reality, my life had never been any right other than those assumptions I made just to ease my fright. It's not that I'm so needy of fawning and I certainly don't want any pity from others. I don't deserve those because the things that happened, the memories I made, the mistakes that are not erasable are all branched from the single choice I made; to run away.
A fake smile covers my lips. Oh goodness.
What a corrupted parent I am to Itzel, to call her a mistake. I suppose I don't deserve such an angel as well. Even Key, who was there for me all the time yet all I do was being a nuisance to him again and again. And Dahae-noona, my parents are all burdened by my infirmity. All I did for them was cry and sought attention just so they won't abandon me.
Even with Minho....I am just a bother.
"Why are you crying? Don't worry... I'm here with you remember?" A warm, calloused thumb wipe away the spilling string of tears that I didn't know I have let the dam burst.
My big, dampened eyes saw the sight of Minho.
The warmth belonged to Minho which looked at me with caring eyes, as if he saw through me. As if he knew all the negativity I pinned up by myself.
As if he's.....correct.
I don't know why...? Why? Why am I so vulnerable in front of him? Why am I crying over the fear of him leaving my side? He's nothing to me. I'm nothing to him.
The fear of being abandoned.
The hauntings of those terrible memories.
I am, once again, burdening somebody else.
Slightly shaking, I open my mouth to speak. But what came out was a high-pitched squeak as I was surprised by the swan sounding out behind me, resembling a loud honk. I flinched, and standing on top of a railing did not helped my balance. Eventually I hugged the person standing in front of me, who was ready to catch me from falling. We collapse on the grass with a loud thump, with me on top of Minho and burying my embarassed face on the crook of his neck, hands circled around it. I hear him groan in pain, but his arms are still kept secure around my waist.
Wind blew a bit more harsh than last time, which made the sound of leaves rustling and air colliding. I felt it touches my exposed skin and as it felt cold, it felt light as well.
I could not stop my tears. It's not because of the melancholic feelings I always felt that had caused my cries.
It was because of Minho's words. It is as if he opened the cork of everything I've bottled up. With only those simple words he kept repeating.
“It’s okay now. Stop suppressing. I’m here.”
"Don't worry... I'm here with you remember?"
It was because I was afraid I'd trust him.
**********
My hand found itself stroking through Taemin's brown locks on the back of his neck. He was shivering slightly and I felt the drops of tears on my neck and on my shoulder, wettening my shirt.
That's right Taemin. That's how you do it. Cry all you want. Don't waste time looking back and regretting what happened. Look forward and start making things happen. That's the first step of creating a better reality. You're the prettiest when you're happy.
"I'm sorry... I just can't help it...." He said softly, voice shaken and gasping for air from time to time. Despite of the internal struggle Taemin is having, I just could not stop grinning. I felt euphoric to be able to set free the tears he had held all the time. And it was easier than I expected.
Or is it that I did not expect his feelings? Towards myself?
No way you frog he hates you so fucking much.
"I'm sorry...." Taemin repeated his words.
"Shh.... Just know that everyone feels broken sometimes." I whispered to him, hands patting his back. I felt his arms tightening around my neck.
"I've been replaced, lied to, cheated on, forgotten and treated like I'm worthless....." His words coming out in slow, writhing tone. He must have hurted so much. God, I feel like punching that Jonghyun so much now.
"Just for once, I want someone to be afraid of losing me...." He said.
I felt an ache.
'Hey, you're holding onto that someone.' I bite my lips to prevent those words from spilling. I don't know why those words form in my mind.
"People say you can't live without love. But I think oxygen is more important." I said bluntly instead. Taemin laughed at my words and his tears stopped.
Quiet replaces the soft cries of Taemin and I allowed him to collect himself together in silent. Looking clearly, I realize that from my position, I could see the sea of stars decorating the vast canopy of sky. The moon was full and the whole scenery was beautiful.
As I hold Taemin closely, transferring warmth from each other, a smile carved on my lips.
Once again, you have no idea how it seems so right.
**********
Okay.
Short.
Drama.
Fail angst.
Boring.
And no Jjong yet.
Ahhh~!!! I'm so sorry! I did try to bring out Jjong, but my hand just won't write it!!( i bet you're thinking i'm just a writer with excuses..... yeah i am.) But i have the scene carved in my mind already. So maybe just wait for another chapter or two for Jjong's appearance. But there's a problem...... yes the problem that will torture you again.
The torture of waiting!
Yeah you guess right, I have final exams soon and my mother had been nagging cuz i keep holed up in my room sitting slumped in front of my new laptop and reading or writing fics most of my time. She'll confiscate my laptop if I don't focus on my studies and that will certainly hinder my fic writing session. So, please be patient my darling readers!! I will be back with updates in a few weeks!!
meanwhile, enjoy the chap. Do comment, okie dokie? lots of love! Mwuah!! =3