don't you love me anymore
don't you love me anymore
PG-13/Angst, Romance/1818 words
Minho/Krystal, Minho-centric
That day, Minho realized that he never knew what had happened to her in the first place.
a/n. I don't know if this story makes sense
It was already past midnight, but Seoul was a city that never slept. The loud sound of music from various stores and clubs could still be heard, but the only sound that reached Choi Minho’s hearing was her desperate voice.
“Don’t leave, Minho. Please don’t. I need you, I need you so much. Please don’t leave me alone.”
He sighed, wondering if he had made a wrong decision by leaving her. The thought of leaving her alone at their small apartment made him shiver. “Don’t you love me anymore?” He heard her voice again, fragile and weak, and for a second he wanted to turn around then ran back home, to her.
But he didn’t. Minho clenched his fist tighter, and stopped the first taxi he could find.
-
It all started in Class Grammar 1, when Jung Soojung was just a girl obsessed with words and Choi Minho was just a boy getting into the wrong class. She was diligently writing something on her journal (although it wasn’t what she was supposed to write) when he suddenly showed up at the door.
“Sorry Sir, I’m late,” he apologized and bowed. The professor only nodded, silently motioning him to sit before continuing his lesson. Soojung heard the chair beside her being pulled, but she was too immersed in her own world to care. She continued writing, her lips curled into a sad smile as she wrote down the last paragraph.
“Psst, excuse me, isn’t this the Basic Entrepreneurship class?” A loud whisper and a soft nudge on her shoulder caused Soojung to finally look up from her journal. “I’m sorry?” she asked, annoyed. Minho repeated his question once again, only to get a scoff as an answer.
Hearing no response from the girl beside him, Minho decided to back off and listen to whatever crap this professor was explaining. He secretly enjoyed watching her pouring her heart out, without knowing that she would become someone he loved and loved and loved for the rest of his life.
Yes, that black-haired girl with smoldering eyes, Jung Soojung.
The same thing happened again and suddenly it had become a routine Minho liked the most, skipping his Basic Entrepreneur class every Monday just to sit beside Soojung and watch her write. He wondered why her name never showed up on the Short Story section of the school newspaper, and at this point, Minho was dying to read whatever she was writing.
“Hey, Jung Soojung,” he called her after the class was over. Soojung lifted her head in annoyance, and glared angrily. “Will you stop bothering me?” she deadpanned, her jet black hair cascading her face in a way that Minho liked very much.
“I want to read your journal,” he stated, ignoring her previous question. Soojung’s eyes widened at his request. She quickly shoved the journal into her bag, as if it contained thousands of sins she had committed. Minho caught the look in her eyes, and frowned. Voices in his head told him to back off and never mess up with her again, but he never wanted to mess up with her. He wanted to know her, even if she wasn’t as innocent as he imagined her to be.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Minho tried again, his hand reaching for hers. Soojung only watched as he laced his fingers with hers, trying to figure out his real motive.
Let’s see, her mind told her. She gazed at Minho one more time before unzipping her bag.
“Just read it, maybe after this you will stop bothering me.”
Minho insisted to sit beside Soojung during lunch the following day. He didn’t even eat, but he stayed until Soojung finished her lunch. Minho wanted to ask so many questions why she only wrote tragic stories, why she only wrote about deaths, demons, and suicides…
…. and why she always named the main character Jung Soojung.
But Minho swallowed those questions. Right now he only wanted to protect this broken girl in his embrace, without asking how and why.
He opened his bag and took out her journal with a smile. “I suck at writing, but I wrote you a new story. I hope you don’t mind,” he said.
Soojung took the journal and started reading. Minho didn’t know what to expect, but then she gazed at him, with a happy smile plastered on her face.
She clapped a little. “Not bad, for a beginner,” Soojung commented, melting Minho with her words because the compliment sounded very sincere. He could spend hours locking himself in his room, writing and writing until his hand felt numb if she would smile at him like this after that.
“But seriously, you’re scared of my stories, right?”
It was Minho’s turn to smile now. “I’m not. And I hope you’re not scared of them either.”
She finally let him walk her home a few months later. Minho was used to Soojung’s mysteriousness now. He knew things took time and he had decided to stay with her no matter what.
“Minho.” She called him as soon as they reached her apartment. He saw her fumbling with her keys and chuckled. Soojung was always “adorably nervous” whenever she wanted to ask him something. He cupped her face softly, gazing at the black orbs he would never get bored of watching.
“Hmm?”
Soojung bit her lip nervously, gazing back at his eyes determinately. “I.. I don’t know if it’s too much to ask, but I’m wondering.. someday.. after we graduate, would you like to live here with me? I like being with you, and-“
Minho closed the distance between them before she even finished, whispering “Yes, yes, yes.” against her lips.
They lived in her apartment together ever since.
Soojung wasn’t there when Minho came home. He stared angrily at the empty bottles near the couch, noticing that Soojung had been drinking again. “Where the hell is she?” he muttered to himself as he dialed her number, only to have another man picked it up.
“Soojung? Ah.. you mean Krystal? She’s here, dude, she’s here with me,” the man slurred, and Minho could hear a familiar laugh in the background. “Can I please talk to her?” he pleaded, hoping she was still in one piece.
“What is it, Minho?” she asked, her voice sounded broken and drunk and sad and Minho felt his heart broke into pieces all over again.
“Where are you, Soojung? Let me-“
She hanged up before he could finish, but Minho wasn’t even surprised anymore.
Not wanting to let Soojung wander around and get drunk with some random guy again, Minho decided to come home earlier than usual. He bought her flowers today, Edelweiss. "They don't look appealing but actually very beautiful," she once said.
"I'm home, Soojung!" Minho exclaimed loudly, but he got no answer. It was so silent that he thought Soojung wasn't home again, but then he heard her. Crying.
He quickly ran into their bedroom and pulled her into his embrace, trying to calm her down with words of love. Minho pulled away after awhile, brushing his finger against her pale cheek. He tried to ask her why she was crying, but Soojung stopped him with a kiss.
Minho always felt like he was on cloud 9 when they kissed. He loved the feeling of her slender arms circling around his neck, her lips moving against his softly, he loved the smile she always gave him after they pulled away.
He didn’t feel that way this time, because his heart was too clouded by the questions he had for Soojung. That day, Minho realized that he never knew what had happened to her in the first place.
“Why won’t you tell me, Soojung?”` he asked again when she pulled away
"Oh, you bought me Edelweiss! They're so pretty, thank you Minho!" Soojung cirlcled her arms around his neck again, pressing her cold lips against his nape.
"Jung Soojung."
Soojung only shook her head, like she always did, and Minho knew she never planned to tell him. Not now, not ever.
“Let’s get married, Minho-ah,” Soojung said that night. She scouted closer to him, taking away the newspaper he was reading. She was smiling so brightly when Minho looked up. That one smile was enough to make him swoon, but then he was reminded of Soojung in her drunken state, crying and mumbling nonsense. Minho used to think that he understood her, because he loved her so much and he believed she felt the same way. What does she want? Is this enough for her? What does she need the most? Minho could feel his heart sinking when he realized he didn’t know the answer anymore.
“Why?” Minho finally asked, his palms were starting to get sweaty. This isn’t going to end well, he noted.
Soojung raised her eyebrows, her smile had already disappeared. “You don’t want to?”
“Before I answer that, let me ask you: Do you want to marry me, Soojung? Do you want me as your husband and father to your kids? Loving each other until death keeps us apart? Will you ever be ready for that?”
When Soojung didn’t answer, Minho knew it was a sign for him to end whatever they had started, if they ever started anything at all.
It was raining when Minho finished packing his stuff. Soojung only watched him from the kitchen counter, her eyes were red and her cheeks were pale. He stared at her, then back at his suitcase. It hurts, he realized. It felt so hurtful when he thought about years they had gone through together, but Minho wouldn’t back down. Minho thought he made Soojung happy, when he was younger and impulsive, until he found out that he was only a distraction for her.
Soojung didn’t need Minho because she loved him. She thought she loved him because she needed him.
“Don’t leave, Minho. Please don’t. I need you, I need you so much. Please don’t leave me alone.” Soojung had kneeled beside him, grasping at his hand like he was the only thing she ever hoped for. Minho only smiled, his other hand wiped away her tears.
“I can’t give you what you want, Soojung. You never let me. I thought I could, but I was never enough for you. I never will. I’m so sorry.”
Soojung cried harder, her mouth mumbled something Minho couldn’t understand.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” she finally whispered.
That last question brought him to tears; Minho’s heart had already broken years ago, but he could feel it break all over again. He shakily removed her hand from his, before taking slow steps towards the door.
The sound of her muffled cries was the last thing he heard.
-
“Where are you heading, Sir?” The raspy voice of the taxi driver startled him. Minho let out a big sigh, this was the first time he went without knowing the destination. He felt lost, not like himself without Soojung, and maybe it would stay that way forever.
He remembered the last words he wrote in her old journal, right before he left. Eventhough Soojung had stopped writing long time ago, and Minho knew whatever he had written would not fix anything, he hoped she would read it someday.
I still love you, Soojung. And I know I’ll never stop.
p.s. is it write in or write on?
PG-13/Angst, Romance/1818 words
Minho/Krystal, Minho-centric
That day, Minho realized that he never knew what had happened to her in the first place.
a/n. I don't know if this story makes sense
It was already past midnight, but Seoul was a city that never slept. The loud sound of music from various stores and clubs could still be heard, but the only sound that reached Choi Minho’s hearing was her desperate voice.
“Don’t leave, Minho. Please don’t. I need you, I need you so much. Please don’t leave me alone.”
He sighed, wondering if he had made a wrong decision by leaving her. The thought of leaving her alone at their small apartment made him shiver. “Don’t you love me anymore?” He heard her voice again, fragile and weak, and for a second he wanted to turn around then ran back home, to her.
But he didn’t. Minho clenched his fist tighter, and stopped the first taxi he could find.
-
It all started in Class Grammar 1, when Jung Soojung was just a girl obsessed with words and Choi Minho was just a boy getting into the wrong class. She was diligently writing something on her journal (although it wasn’t what she was supposed to write) when he suddenly showed up at the door.
“Sorry Sir, I’m late,” he apologized and bowed. The professor only nodded, silently motioning him to sit before continuing his lesson. Soojung heard the chair beside her being pulled, but she was too immersed in her own world to care. She continued writing, her lips curled into a sad smile as she wrote down the last paragraph.
“Psst, excuse me, isn’t this the Basic Entrepreneurship class?” A loud whisper and a soft nudge on her shoulder caused Soojung to finally look up from her journal. “I’m sorry?” she asked, annoyed. Minho repeated his question once again, only to get a scoff as an answer.
Hearing no response from the girl beside him, Minho decided to back off and listen to whatever crap this professor was explaining. He secretly enjoyed watching her pouring her heart out, without knowing that she would become someone he loved and loved and loved for the rest of his life.
Yes, that black-haired girl with smoldering eyes, Jung Soojung.
The same thing happened again and suddenly it had become a routine Minho liked the most, skipping his Basic Entrepreneur class every Monday just to sit beside Soojung and watch her write. He wondered why her name never showed up on the Short Story section of the school newspaper, and at this point, Minho was dying to read whatever she was writing.
“Hey, Jung Soojung,” he called her after the class was over. Soojung lifted her head in annoyance, and glared angrily. “Will you stop bothering me?” she deadpanned, her jet black hair cascading her face in a way that Minho liked very much.
“I want to read your journal,” he stated, ignoring her previous question. Soojung’s eyes widened at his request. She quickly shoved the journal into her bag, as if it contained thousands of sins she had committed. Minho caught the look in her eyes, and frowned. Voices in his head told him to back off and never mess up with her again, but he never wanted to mess up with her. He wanted to know her, even if she wasn’t as innocent as he imagined her to be.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Minho tried again, his hand reaching for hers. Soojung only watched as he laced his fingers with hers, trying to figure out his real motive.
Let’s see, her mind told her. She gazed at Minho one more time before unzipping her bag.
“Just read it, maybe after this you will stop bothering me.”
Minho insisted to sit beside Soojung during lunch the following day. He didn’t even eat, but he stayed until Soojung finished her lunch. Minho wanted to ask so many questions why she only wrote tragic stories, why she only wrote about deaths, demons, and suicides…
…. and why she always named the main character Jung Soojung.
But Minho swallowed those questions. Right now he only wanted to protect this broken girl in his embrace, without asking how and why.
He opened his bag and took out her journal with a smile. “I suck at writing, but I wrote you a new story. I hope you don’t mind,” he said.
Soojung took the journal and started reading. Minho didn’t know what to expect, but then she gazed at him, with a happy smile plastered on her face.
She clapped a little. “Not bad, for a beginner,” Soojung commented, melting Minho with her words because the compliment sounded very sincere. He could spend hours locking himself in his room, writing and writing until his hand felt numb if she would smile at him like this after that.
“But seriously, you’re scared of my stories, right?”
It was Minho’s turn to smile now. “I’m not. And I hope you’re not scared of them either.”
She finally let him walk her home a few months later. Minho was used to Soojung’s mysteriousness now. He knew things took time and he had decided to stay with her no matter what.
“Minho.” She called him as soon as they reached her apartment. He saw her fumbling with her keys and chuckled. Soojung was always “adorably nervous” whenever she wanted to ask him something. He cupped her face softly, gazing at the black orbs he would never get bored of watching.
“Hmm?”
Soojung bit her lip nervously, gazing back at his eyes determinately. “I.. I don’t know if it’s too much to ask, but I’m wondering.. someday.. after we graduate, would you like to live here with me? I like being with you, and-“
Minho closed the distance between them before she even finished, whispering “Yes, yes, yes.” against her lips.
They lived in her apartment together ever since.
Soojung wasn’t there when Minho came home. He stared angrily at the empty bottles near the couch, noticing that Soojung had been drinking again. “Where the hell is she?” he muttered to himself as he dialed her number, only to have another man picked it up.
“Soojung? Ah.. you mean Krystal? She’s here, dude, she’s here with me,” the man slurred, and Minho could hear a familiar laugh in the background. “Can I please talk to her?” he pleaded, hoping she was still in one piece.
“What is it, Minho?” she asked, her voice sounded broken and drunk and sad and Minho felt his heart broke into pieces all over again.
“Where are you, Soojung? Let me-“
She hanged up before he could finish, but Minho wasn’t even surprised anymore.
Not wanting to let Soojung wander around and get drunk with some random guy again, Minho decided to come home earlier than usual. He bought her flowers today, Edelweiss. "They don't look appealing but actually very beautiful," she once said.
"I'm home, Soojung!" Minho exclaimed loudly, but he got no answer. It was so silent that he thought Soojung wasn't home again, but then he heard her. Crying.
He quickly ran into their bedroom and pulled her into his embrace, trying to calm her down with words of love. Minho pulled away after awhile, brushing his finger against her pale cheek. He tried to ask her why she was crying, but Soojung stopped him with a kiss.
Minho always felt like he was on cloud 9 when they kissed. He loved the feeling of her slender arms circling around his neck, her lips moving against his softly, he loved the smile she always gave him after they pulled away.
He didn’t feel that way this time, because his heart was too clouded by the questions he had for Soojung. That day, Minho realized that he never knew what had happened to her in the first place.
“Why won’t you tell me, Soojung?”` he asked again when she pulled away
"Oh, you bought me Edelweiss! They're so pretty, thank you Minho!" Soojung cirlcled her arms around his neck again, pressing her cold lips against his nape.
"Jung Soojung."
Soojung only shook her head, like she always did, and Minho knew she never planned to tell him. Not now, not ever.
“Let’s get married, Minho-ah,” Soojung said that night. She scouted closer to him, taking away the newspaper he was reading. She was smiling so brightly when Minho looked up. That one smile was enough to make him swoon, but then he was reminded of Soojung in her drunken state, crying and mumbling nonsense. Minho used to think that he understood her, because he loved her so much and he believed she felt the same way. What does she want? Is this enough for her? What does she need the most? Minho could feel his heart sinking when he realized he didn’t know the answer anymore.
“Why?” Minho finally asked, his palms were starting to get sweaty. This isn’t going to end well, he noted.
Soojung raised her eyebrows, her smile had already disappeared. “You don’t want to?”
“Before I answer that, let me ask you: Do you want to marry me, Soojung? Do you want me as your husband and father to your kids? Loving each other until death keeps us apart? Will you ever be ready for that?”
When Soojung didn’t answer, Minho knew it was a sign for him to end whatever they had started, if they ever started anything at all.
It was raining when Minho finished packing his stuff. Soojung only watched him from the kitchen counter, her eyes were red and her cheeks were pale. He stared at her, then back at his suitcase. It hurts, he realized. It felt so hurtful when he thought about years they had gone through together, but Minho wouldn’t back down. Minho thought he made Soojung happy, when he was younger and impulsive, until he found out that he was only a distraction for her.
Soojung didn’t need Minho because she loved him. She thought she loved him because she needed him.
“Don’t leave, Minho. Please don’t. I need you, I need you so much. Please don’t leave me alone.” Soojung had kneeled beside him, grasping at his hand like he was the only thing she ever hoped for. Minho only smiled, his other hand wiped away her tears.
“I can’t give you what you want, Soojung. You never let me. I thought I could, but I was never enough for you. I never will. I’m so sorry.”
Soojung cried harder, her mouth mumbled something Minho couldn’t understand.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” she finally whispered.
That last question brought him to tears; Minho’s heart had already broken years ago, but he could feel it break all over again. He shakily removed her hand from his, before taking slow steps towards the door.
The sound of her muffled cries was the last thing he heard.
-
“Where are you heading, Sir?” The raspy voice of the taxi driver startled him. Minho let out a big sigh, this was the first time he went without knowing the destination. He felt lost, not like himself without Soojung, and maybe it would stay that way forever.
He remembered the last words he wrote in her old journal, right before he left. Eventhough Soojung had stopped writing long time ago, and Minho knew whatever he had written would not fix anything, he hoped she would read it someday.
I still love you, Soojung. And I know I’ll never stop.
p.s. is it write in or write on?