forcing the sludge, forcing the slime

[whiskeychick]

May 1, 2012 Morning Pages 0537 hrs. Cold - 39 degrees.

Back and Starting of a Migraine awoke me. Couldn’t go back to sleep because my husband’s snoring is so epically out of control right now, but he won’t do anything about it. So, I don’t sleep.

I had to put the frakkin fire on it’s so frakkin cold this morning.. Also had to take some pain med for

Comments

[whiskeychick]

There is a part of me that wonders, too, what is wrong with them. My Pops used to tell me that it was a sign of lack of intelligence. (yes, he could be an elitist jerk sometimes, but he's a pretty good guy...) But these people don't seem stupid to me -- just happy. Like always. I guess I'm envious and annoyed all wrapped up in one.

I suppose I'm just looking for a way to stop all this dissatisfaction I seem to always feel.

Is contentment that hard to find? I don't need to be stupid happy. Just content. It just feels -- this that I'm feeling now -- like ... I don't even know. Fail is the only word that comes to mind currently.

[srain]

Some *person* I know tried to give me this bullshit today about how I'm negative and she just doesn't have the time to be as negative as me and blah blah blah bullshit. I mean, seriously? I don't think that the fact that I don't expect anyone to jump up and fix shit for me means I'm "negative" maybe you're just a rose colored glasses child.

I don't understand people who are or seem to be positive at all times. Frankly I wonder if there isn't something wrong with them or if they're on something.

While I've not been in combat, I've lived where it was always possible that someone was going to start shooting at you. I have had my home shot up more than once while I was in it. I mean... I'm not going to have the same outlook as someone who hasn't had those sorts of struggles.

I should not be writing comments I have a migraine and can't really focus.

Anyway.

I'm depressed too. It's ok though. Depression happens. And it lies to us.

ah, yes. I need to remember that...

[whiskeychick]

It lies.

Lies.

Lies.

Lies.