Fake

[whipchick]

We walk into the gym and scan for mat space, Kim’s aerial hoop over her shoulder, my aerial silk in my arms.

Aerialists hang from the peg wall, doing pike-ups and hoping the Cirque coaches will notice them. Big-bodied catchers wear tank tops and striped toe-socks. Short, muscled flyers with linebacker shoulders and gnarled ankles look at us,

Comments

[i_17bingo]

I really enjoyed watching this piece as it evolved from a simple "Imposter Syndrome" piece in the beginning to the revelation that you know what you're doing--but just knowing doesn't qualify you as Real, and closing with an evaluation of the strength and importance of the Real label. Well done!

[i_17bingo]

* Lost control of my italicization, and lack the ability to correct it from my Kindle. Rest assured, I am not shouting that bit at the end.

I wanted to like this a lot

[drwex]

I knew it was non-fiction from early on, and there are bits I think are great, but it feels to me like it needs a polish. F'rex "peeing" versus "pissing." People don't have peeing contests; they have pissing contests. People piss to mark territory. It feels like there are word-level polish things like that which snagged my eyes from time to time. Like, why is "no-one" hyphenated? No one, or nobody. "Nos" is also probably not apostrophized; I'd have to look that up to be sure, but it jarred me. You could say "a hundred times no" or similar.

I also have an old-timer's disdain for italics. Your writing should tell the reader where the emphases are; you don't need graphical tricks.

Stepping back from the little polish stuff... yes, the piece generally works. As I said, I wanted to like it a lot.

By the way, the contortionists freak me RIGHT THE HELL OUT. I can't watch people putting their buttocks on their own heads - my back screams.

Re: I wanted to like this a lot

[whipchick]

Thanks for the feedback

Re: I wanted to like this a lot

[drwex]

I was wondering about the gendered nature of pee/piss as I was writing that.

Hyphenated no-one is common outside North America

Learn something new every day. Also I totally bow to your CMoSity.

I ended up italicizing "real" and "entertainer" because the amount of derision I wanted to convey needed that or another 100 words :)

I don't think just italicizing it carries that much, though. That's what I mean by your writing being strong enough to convey the emotion (which I think it is) without needing to lead the reader by the fontified nose.

(There, now I've used "CMoSification" and "fontified" in one comment, which proves I don't speak any normal language anyway.)

Re: I wanted to like this a lot

[whipchick]

Yeah, that makes sense. I'll take another look at it, as I suspect I'll lengthen this one and send it out (there's a whole section on when the Cirque people come in and do their workout, but I really wanted to get this under 1000 words). Thanks! And even if I sometimes sound defensive, I genuinely appreciate the feedback.

Fontify! Fontify!

[swirlsofblue]

Love the descriptive detail here, and love the concept, brilliant last line :)

(And I was unreasonably happy that I read the French correctly).

[whipchick]

Thanks! It took a few tries to get the French right, so I'm glad it translates!

[anyonesghost]

I enjoyed this a lot. It captured the spirit of that skillset-based aristocracy that seems to infect so many other professions (artistic or otherwise). Of course, I might just be a sucker for anything that includes the phrase "C'etait de la merde."

[whipchick]

Thanks! Yeah, it's interesting how sometimes being really good at a technical skill is either not enough, or there are other things that are also valid ways to succeed.

[halfshellvenus]

Love the conclusion to this, and I had no idea that your primary skill was managing (though I should not have been surprised). But flexibility, agility... sometimes, no amount of forcing will make that come. It might get better, but splits-to-the-ground were something I couldn't even do at age 8.

Loved the conclusion to this. You are as 'real' as you decide to be. :)

[whipchick]

Thanks :) I like being reasonably strong and decently flexible, but yeah, my split is never going to hit the floor! But I can boss like there's not tomorrow :)