The Enemy Within Part 2 - Chapter One
Title: The Enemy Within
Author: whatshouldntbe
Universe/Series: Part Two of 'What Shouldn't Be' series, Reboot XI/TOS
Rating:
Relationship status: First time, slow build K/S
Word count: 15000+ for this part, 136000+ so far
Plot: The demons of the past will always compromise the promise of the future.
Warnings: always!girl Kirk, angst, action, character death, language, rom-com humor, violence, possible amateur world-building
Additional Pairings: Kirk/Gary Mitchell, Spock/Uhura, unrequited Kirk/Spock
Summary: Six months into her captaincy, Jim Kirk experiences the hardships of being a twenty-something woman in command.
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Chapter 1
"Captain Kirk. Commander Spock. Come in, come in," Dr. Dehner says, stepping out of the way and making a sweeping gesture with her arm to invite them into her office.
Spock waits, letting Jim slide through first before he follows. Dr. Dehner makes another gesture towards the wide, banana-colored couch that sits behind the all white coffee table to the left of the room. As Jim plops down directly in the middle of it, Spock chooses to distance himself at the right of the couch, keeping the space between them at a steady four steps.
Jim is suddenly hit with déjà vu. "We've definitely done this before," she mutters quietly, fully aware that Spock can pick up on it.
As if to prove her right, Spock inclines his head towards her, meets her eye and raises an eyebrow as if to ask a question with that simple physical gesture.
Jim shrugs and shakes her head before her eyes follow Dr. Dehner as the grey-eyed woman situates herself in the opal-colored armchair at the front end of the coffee table. Jim fidgets with a frown and wiggles out of her shoes. For some reason, they felt a little tighter than normal. She sets them neatly off to the side and within reaching distance.
Dr. Dehner hands are barren, no pen or leather-bound notebook in sight. She says, "You wanted to discuss a certain member of your crew."
"A specific patient of yours," Jim clarifies, lacing her fingers together.
Dr. Dehner gives an indulgent smile, and it edges along the lines of humor and condescension. "I consider every life form on this vessel a patient," she replies. "But perhaps if I were given a name, I would know of whom you speak. Though I have an intuitive guess you're referring to Kelly Smith."
Jim gives a little indulgent smile of her own. "Was it the gossip or Lieutenant Giotto's insistent hounding that tipped you off?"
Dr. Dehner chuckles, shoulders tensing in a firm line as her perfectly manicured fingers lace together over her crossed legs. "You can pick either, you wouldn't be wrong," she states simply in a very roundabout way that Jim finds curious.
Jim grins but this time it's merely for show. "What exactly did these weekly appointments entail?"
"Camaraderie-reserved exchanges. Intimate details that she felt could not be shared with anyone else," Dr. Dehner says. "She was a tightly wound individual, highly private but desperate to cleave to some form of bond." Dr. Dehner sighs gently as she removed her glasses. "She was quite lonely."
Jim nods, taking each word with immeasurable consideration and calculation. "And these-private conversations," she words carefully as she glances quickly at Spock and then away. "What exactly did they involve? I mean-what exactly was being said?"
Dr. Dehner looks guardedly uncomfortable. "It goes against my policy of confidentiality to even consider-"
Spock interjects, "Dr. Dehner, Yeomen Smith was brutally murdered, without provocation aboard this vessel. Clinging to the notions of privacy would be illogical, even more so when any information could be of use to us."
Jim fights back an appreciative grin, but honestly she could high five her First Officer for his witty strike at Dr. Dehner's gathering excuses.
Dr. Dehner's expression goes a bit stale but she nods obligingly. "Understood," she says reluctantly. She shifts in her seat and slides her glasses on. "Kelly was a very-special case. She exhibited multiple diagnoses of Schizoid Personality Disorder, Manic Depression-not to mention delusions of reference."
Jim feels her eyebrows skyrocket. And Smith was allowed on her ship? "I'm sorry-I just-I don't seem to…delusions of reference?"
Dr. Dehner nods gravely. "Although it is highly unusual for a woman with all such psychologically diagnosed disorders to be cleared for full active duty, there are stipulations-actions, that, one could take to ensure that they are treated as fairly as possible if they were adamant about pursuing a specific position in Starfleet. Now seeing as Kelly sought to be a Yeomen, exceptions came very easily for her concerning her medical disadvantages. Hence, the reason for our weekly appointments. One of the stipulations for being cleared for active duty is that she willingly seeks counseling with a medically trained individual that could report no harmful or alarming behavior that would cause her to be discharged from her position."
Fucking Starfleet. Jim doesn't verbally express her agitation but she wouldn't put it past those stiff-necked admirals to overlook Smith's case in order to make things a bit harder for her. She takes a steady breath.
Spock says, "Lieutenant Giotto informed us of his inability to obtain a suitable statement in regards to Yeomen Smith's last moments spent in your presence."
Dr. Dehner glances back and forth between them with a regrettable sigh. "It wasn't an accident that I refused to make a statement. I don't feel comfortable having to tell you this directly but I feel it is for the best." She held up a finger and went to her work desk. She spent a few seconds rifling through her drawers before she pulled out a leather-bound journal, quickly flipping the pages. "I wrote this down, because-I had planned to approach you with my concern." She looks directly at Jim as she says, "Three hours before midnight, she came to me-frenzied and jittery-unlike any way she has ever behaved before. She would not look or speak to me directly when I inquired on her well-being. She seemed-distant. So very distant-and she wouldn't stop quoting scriptures from the bible." She looks down at her journal and continues, "Finally, at the end of the hour, she stood to leave and said, and I quote, 'He wont let me eat. I try-I try so hard but he allows no me peace. No sleep, no thought or function. He feeds off my pain, my isolation. I am consumed by his hunger-by his desire. He wants her-he wants her-has wanted her since he felt the transition of her soul into this lifetime. I pray to God for forgiveness but I pray for Captain Kirk more. I will be relieved when he frees me but I will mourn for her the burden that she will undertake in my stead.' End quote." Dehner shifts and exhales. "Well," she begins. "You should know that Kelly held the belief that she was condemned. A bargained vessel that was plagued by demonic forces."
"Possession," Jim mutters, albeit disbelievingly. "She believed she was possessed."
"Tormented, would be the way she would describe it, but yes," Dr. Dehner agrees. "She often stated she was the victim of blinded love that saw an unworthy trade for external youth for the blessing it certainly was not."
Jim suddenly feels sick. She feels sick and uncomfortably aware of her own genius that undeniably points out the connections between the pictures she found in Smith's quarters and Bones's resolutely grim medical conclusions. Smith, so in love with her husband, bargained her own soul for the one thing that would keep him in a state of happiness: her youth and beauty. The God-awful truth of it all slithers down her throat and warps her mind. She still does not believe in religious deities but she cannot deny that there is something dark at work. An unhealthy darkness that Smith willing dabbled in, along with her husband Mudd and perhaps even Mitchell.
There's no doubt that Smith's impromptu meeting was nothing but a opportunity to do-whatever Smith had intended to do. Maybe the goal had been to pull Jim herself in on that unhealthy darkness. The image of Smith's mangled body flashes across her mind, and Jim feels so fucking sick.
Spock seems to be aware of her internal struggle, because he says, "I believe that will suffice-"
"Not quite," Jim interjects with a raised hand, staving off his intervention and ignoring her own shaking nausea. She gives Spock an apologetic look and he holds his peace. "Family," she begins with a dry swallow, focusing her gaze on Dehner's small shoulders. "Did she ever talk about family? Relatives-relationships-contacts."
"Not exclusively. I really must emphasize how much of a private person she was," Dr. Dehner admits and snaps her journal close. "But there was a sister I believe. Younger, even. But my understanding of the situation is that they were at odds and had been for a number of years."
Jim considers that, making a mental note once more to contact Smith's sister personally. She presses on, "And relationships?"
"Captain Kirk," Dr. Dehner says with a confused smile. "Was is that you're trying to pry from me? I mean, with all due respect-I get the feeling you may know more than I do."
"I wouldn't exactly say that," Jim deflects, crossing her arms and holding on at the elbows before she leans forward on her thighs. Gravity pulls her blonde bangs right into her eyesight. "Commander Spock and I are only trying to narrow down a list of suspects. So it would be very helpful if you could remember if she ever at least hinted at having a husband or some significant other. A any oint."
"I see," Dr. Dehner says vaguely, rubbing the middle knuckle of her index finger across the swell of her bottom lip. "Well," she inhales, crossing her legs and leaning more to the right. "She, like all young women her age, experienced a handful of sexual encounters. Healthy encounters of course, mainly with the opposite sex-not withstanding however. I could even go as far as saying that she seemed to have an aversion to long term relationships."
Yeah, no surprises there. Seeing how she was already married, that might have become a problem, im thinks to herself with a brief sort of bitter amusement Obviously she wasn't all that happily married if she had no problem with cheating.
"So she had a preference for one night stands?" Jim guesses, flexing the toes of her left foot as she frowns thoughtfully.
"Sexual encounters," Dr. Dehner corrects patiently. "'One night stand' is a negative term I don't believe in endorsing when referring to the female counterpart."
Jim inhales slowly and exhales carefully. "Okay," she says simply. "Did she ever mention a-sexual encounter hat might have happened between her and someone else aboard this ship?"
"I don't believe so," Dr. Dehner says before her eyes flicker over to Spock, then back again. Strange. "If so she never made mention of it. Once again-"
"She was a very private person," Jim recites with an ironic grin. She watches as Dr. Dehner nods as if to confirm the truth in her words. Jim sees this line of questioning isn't getting her anywhere. She really was only curious about if Smith had ever slipped up and mentioned Mudd, but apparently not. That tidbit is frustratingly confusing. Just what had they been playing at? She looks at Spock. "Did you have any questions?" Otherwise I'll just keep driving us in circles if you let me babble on she mentally adds.
"With your permission, referring to Dr. Dehner's earlier statement," Spock replies. "There is an inconsistency that requires extensive deliberation."
Jim nods with a shrug. She's not sure which exact statement he's referring to but she's curious and willing to turn the conversation over to him.
Spock accepts her silent affirmation and steers his dark eyes in the direction of Dr. Dehner. "Of your encounters with Yeomen Smith, how frequently was the Captain's ill will the main topic?"
Jim feels her eyebrows lift. That was a good question. She looks at Dr. Dehner expectantly as well.
"Well she had expressed an explicit dislike towards Captain Kirk. But that was in reference to the Captain's character and behavior," Dr. Dehner explains as she laces her thinly nimble fingers together over the journal in her lap. "Let me elaborate-she never spoke of harming the Captain. She just felt very disagreeable about her and her work ethics."
Jim snorts, but says nothing when Spock and Dr. Dehner glance her way. She knew good and well how Yeomen Smith felt about her work habits seeing as how she never really applied herself all that much when it came to paperwork and applying her signature here and there.
"How common were these complaints?" Spock questions. "If you also have an average, please provide this estimate as well."
"Sometimes she spent a good five to fifteen minutes on this topic alone. This was every session. She'd describe how unbearable it felt to deal with Captain Kirk and her lack of cooperation. How Captain Kirk made things harder and slower than they had to be. Simple work related jibes. Nothing more," Dr. Dehner explains. "It's not uncommon for an individual to complain about their work or the people that they work with."
"Understood," Spock replies, monotone. "Yet you stated that she sought you out three hours before midnight, prior to her meeting with Captain Kirk with disturbing allegations. Acting unlike herself."
"Yes," Dr. Dehner says slowly. "This behavior was uncommon."
"Nonetheless, you have made it clear that Yeomen Smith frequently voiced her dislike for Captain Kirk which makes her unsavory actions not wholly irreproachable," Spock declares soundly.
Jim glances back and forth between them. Spock looks adamant while Dr. Dehner looks properly chastised. In this verbal tennis match, Spock is dominating, as he usually does. Jim is secretly envious of his oral prowess.
"Kelly Smith was not a violent individual," Dr. Dehner protests weakly. "She ha n former incidents that would-"
"Was it not stated that her diagnosed conditions included multiple diagnoses of Schizoid Personality Disorder, Manic Depression, as well as delusions of reference?" Spock counters.
Dr. Dehner quietly and reluctantly nods.
"Therefore it is highly possible that a woman with conditions such as hers could easily harm not only herself but others, correct?" Spock continues.
"Yes," Dr. Dehner admits unwillingly. "Withou the necessary treatment or intervention, of which, she had access to."
"Doctor, an individual can prepare for rain by facilitating the use of an umbrella but the object itself holds no guarantee of keeping the individual completely dry," Spock counters evenly.
Dr. Dehner says nothing to that, but then, "There is and was no way to ever really be sure Commander Spock. A case such as Yeomen Smith's could have gone either way. Murder, suicide or homicide was never an option, and it certainly was never a factor."
"Perhaps if it had been, then certain situations could have been avoided," Spock remarks, unapologetic. "It has come to my attention that at anytime after or during your encounter with Yeomen Smith you could have alerted either myself or the Captain to the situation. Instead, you held your silence until it was within our obligation to seek you out. As such, your misguidance, unintentional or not, has put this crew and it's Captain at risk. Unfortunately, the repercussion will be a reassessment of your competency suited to your specific field by an evaluation board of your superiors."
Dr. Dehner looks properly scolded but she still finds the energy to nod.
"If there is no dispute over the matter, the Captain and I shall take our leave," Spock decides and stands. He makes no move to actually exit until Jim has risen to her feet. "Until you are assigned a formal hearing, it would be wise to alert your patients and postpone any impending appointments until a deliberation has been made."
Dr. Dehner nods but her expression sours a bit.
"Dr. Dehner," Jim says by way of goodbye. She grabs her shoes without putting them on and turns to exit just as Dr. Dehner walks them to the door. Jim leaves silently with Spock in tow and they both drift down the corridor. She spends that silence going over everything that has just occurred and really lets it all sink in. Midway to the lift, Jim says, "How is it that you're so good at disciplining our personnel?"
Spock does not acknowledge the question until they are on the lift. Even then, he waits until after he pushes a number and tucks his hands behind his back before he responds, "I feel no apprehension on the matter of discipline. As First Officer and Commander, I must acknowledge that my position will require me to correct all errors I have identified in your stead when you have not or refuse to do such. It ensures full functionality of the ship."
"Are you trying to say I avoid disciplining my crew? Because we can go find Mitchell right now and I can prove you wrong," Jim argues and resists the urge to cross her arms and pout because that would be childish.
Spock glances at her with a quirked eyebrow. "Of that I have no doubt, but Mitchell, to date, has been the only exception," Spock remarks. "Your judgment regarding other matters of discipline elsewhere leaves much to be desired."
Jim scoffs. "Well I just-that's-" she fumbles for a response. "I disagree," she says finally. "In fact. I'm willing to wager this. I bet I can be a lot stricter and deal out the punishment that fit the crimes when the time comes to it. And you won't even have to. All you have to do is stand there and basically-continue to exist."
"Indeed?" Spock challenges, and it's amazing how he can make such flat and even speech sound skeptical. "I must disagree. Of those moments when conveying discipline was mandatory, my intervention was required 96.2 percent of the time. I also decline your challenge seeing as there is no benefit to be gained for either of us."
"No?" Jim grins just as the door to the turbolift whooshes open and they step out into the corridor. She's not sure where they are or where they're going but that moment it really wasn't priority. "What if I made it worth your while?"
"I assure you Captain, you can not make it 'worth my while'. Gambling is a disreputable habit I do not condone," Spock states in that matter-of-fact tone.
"Not even if I promised to agree wholeheartedly with your every opinion on any matter if you should win for the next three months?" Jim tempts and watches in satisfaction the telltale twitch of interest that worries Spock's brow. "Think about. If I can't manage to be the proper disciplinary by the end of this month, than it's your victory. Whic means-three months of me agreeing to stay aboard the ship during our missions and leaving the excavating to our more than capable away teams. I wouldn't argue with you looming behind me like some bodyguard if I were on my way to some private meeting with one of our personnel. I woul eve tell you, i explicit detail, how I managed to beat the Kobayashi Maru."
"Captain, that will-" Spock hesitates and Jim can see the indecision that's threatening to usurp his usually expressionless face.
"Come on," Jim urges. "I'm giving you so much leeway here. Say yes. What's the worst that can happen? Don't answer that. Instead-think of this as like a team building exercise. A random, out of the blue and odd team building exercise. In space. And you know-it might actually teach me a lesson or something."
Spock expression slouches into something more apprehensive and there is a fleeting moment where he looks like he might even lecture her. But he doesn't. His dark eyes flicker to and fro from one end of the corridor to the other before he straightens and turns to face her directly. His clasped hands lift a little higher behind him before he asks, "And if the odds should lean in your favor? What would you require as recompense?"
Jim smothers a grin but she's sure it's fruitless. She just wants to remember this moment forever. She might actually be convincing her logical First Officer to participate in something that he wouldn't normally. God-he might not be so bad after all. "Well," she finally says, pretending to think about it very carefully even though she totally knows what she would want. "I suppose, if I were to-I don't know-win," she drawls. "You have to do two things for me."
Spock inclines his head as if to urge her to continue.
"One-stop being an uptight jerk. I mean you can lecture me or whatever, you're Vulcan and that's like a thing so I wont deny you that simple pleasure, so go ahead and join up with Bones and nag me and I'll still do what I want anyway-but don't treat me like I'm a little kid or the dirt between your toes-yes I know, another illogical metaphor but you get the gist of what I'm saying so I wont bother wasting two minutes in explaining it," Jim states without pause. "And two-you hav go to help me with all the paperwork. I don't mean do it for me, I just mean help me with it because to be honest with you, if it's anything more than scribbling out my signature I am just hopeless. Like very. I kind of skipped out on that leson back at the academy. Yeomen Smith was not exaggerating about my horrible paperwork skills."
Spock considers her words for about two hiccups of silence before he, albeit a bit cautiously, says, "Very well. I agree to your terms."
"That would be wise," Jim retorts with an amused smirk. "So uh-let's shake on it." She reaches out with her left hand, one of her heels pointing at his waist like a gun and offers it, looking at him expectantly. Jim i always onsiderate an mindful.
Spock's brow furrows for a brief moment before he wraps his pale fingers on the pointed tip of the shoe and shakes it as if they were really touching hands.
"Awesome! So it's settled. Starting now, all disciplinary matters will fall to me until the end of this month," Jim announces and puffs out her chest with confidence. "And my first order of business will be to start with Mitchell." She turns to locate a video monitor and inquires on the whereabouts of Mitchell.
The computer replies, "Lieutenant Commander Gary Mitchell is located in Officer Training Center, deck 8."
Part 2
Author: whatshouldntbe
Universe/Series: Part Two of 'What Shouldn't Be' series, Reboot XI/TOS
Rating:
Relationship status: First time, slow build K/S
Word count: 15000+ for this part, 136000+ so far
Plot: The demons of the past will always compromise the promise of the future.
Warnings: always!girl Kirk, angst, action, character death, language, rom-com humor, violence, possible amateur world-building
Additional Pairings: Kirk/Gary Mitchell, Spock/Uhura, unrequited Kirk/Spock
Summary: Six months into her captaincy, Jim Kirk experiences the hardships of being a twenty-something woman in command.
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Chapter 1
"Captain Kirk. Commander Spock. Come in, come in," Dr. Dehner says, stepping out of the way and making a sweeping gesture with her arm to invite them into her office.
Spock waits, letting Jim slide through first before he follows. Dr. Dehner makes another gesture towards the wide, banana-colored couch that sits behind the all white coffee table to the left of the room. As Jim plops down directly in the middle of it, Spock chooses to distance himself at the right of the couch, keeping the space between them at a steady four steps.
Jim is suddenly hit with déjà vu. "We've definitely done this before," she mutters quietly, fully aware that Spock can pick up on it.
As if to prove her right, Spock inclines his head towards her, meets her eye and raises an eyebrow as if to ask a question with that simple physical gesture.
Jim shrugs and shakes her head before her eyes follow Dr. Dehner as the grey-eyed woman situates herself in the opal-colored armchair at the front end of the coffee table. Jim fidgets with a frown and wiggles out of her shoes. For some reason, they felt a little tighter than normal. She sets them neatly off to the side and within reaching distance.
Dr. Dehner hands are barren, no pen or leather-bound notebook in sight. She says, "You wanted to discuss a certain member of your crew."
"A specific patient of yours," Jim clarifies, lacing her fingers together.
Dr. Dehner gives an indulgent smile, and it edges along the lines of humor and condescension. "I consider every life form on this vessel a patient," she replies. "But perhaps if I were given a name, I would know of whom you speak. Though I have an intuitive guess you're referring to Kelly Smith."
Jim gives a little indulgent smile of her own. "Was it the gossip or Lieutenant Giotto's insistent hounding that tipped you off?"
Dr. Dehner chuckles, shoulders tensing in a firm line as her perfectly manicured fingers lace together over her crossed legs. "You can pick either, you wouldn't be wrong," she states simply in a very roundabout way that Jim finds curious.
Jim grins but this time it's merely for show. "What exactly did these weekly appointments entail?"
"Camaraderie-reserved exchanges. Intimate details that she felt could not be shared with anyone else," Dr. Dehner says. "She was a tightly wound individual, highly private but desperate to cleave to some form of bond." Dr. Dehner sighs gently as she removed her glasses. "She was quite lonely."
Jim nods, taking each word with immeasurable consideration and calculation. "And these-private conversations," she words carefully as she glances quickly at Spock and then away. "What exactly did they involve? I mean-what exactly was being said?"
Dr. Dehner looks guardedly uncomfortable. "It goes against my policy of confidentiality to even consider-"
Spock interjects, "Dr. Dehner, Yeomen Smith was brutally murdered, without provocation aboard this vessel. Clinging to the notions of privacy would be illogical, even more so when any information could be of use to us."
Jim fights back an appreciative grin, but honestly she could high five her First Officer for his witty strike at Dr. Dehner's gathering excuses.
Dr. Dehner's expression goes a bit stale but she nods obligingly. "Understood," she says reluctantly. She shifts in her seat and slides her glasses on. "Kelly was a very-special case. She exhibited multiple diagnoses of Schizoid Personality Disorder, Manic Depression-not to mention delusions of reference."
Jim feels her eyebrows skyrocket. And Smith was allowed on her ship? "I'm sorry-I just-I don't seem to…delusions of reference?"
Dr. Dehner nods gravely. "Although it is highly unusual for a woman with all such psychologically diagnosed disorders to be cleared for full active duty, there are stipulations-actions, that, one could take to ensure that they are treated as fairly as possible if they were adamant about pursuing a specific position in Starfleet. Now seeing as Kelly sought to be a Yeomen, exceptions came very easily for her concerning her medical disadvantages. Hence, the reason for our weekly appointments. One of the stipulations for being cleared for active duty is that she willingly seeks counseling with a medically trained individual that could report no harmful or alarming behavior that would cause her to be discharged from her position."
Fucking Starfleet. Jim doesn't verbally express her agitation but she wouldn't put it past those stiff-necked admirals to overlook Smith's case in order to make things a bit harder for her. She takes a steady breath.
Spock says, "Lieutenant Giotto informed us of his inability to obtain a suitable statement in regards to Yeomen Smith's last moments spent in your presence."
Dr. Dehner glances back and forth between them with a regrettable sigh. "It wasn't an accident that I refused to make a statement. I don't feel comfortable having to tell you this directly but I feel it is for the best." She held up a finger and went to her work desk. She spent a few seconds rifling through her drawers before she pulled out a leather-bound journal, quickly flipping the pages. "I wrote this down, because-I had planned to approach you with my concern." She looks directly at Jim as she says, "Three hours before midnight, she came to me-frenzied and jittery-unlike any way she has ever behaved before. She would not look or speak to me directly when I inquired on her well-being. She seemed-distant. So very distant-and she wouldn't stop quoting scriptures from the bible." She looks down at her journal and continues, "Finally, at the end of the hour, she stood to leave and said, and I quote, 'He wont let me eat. I try-I try so hard but he allows no me peace. No sleep, no thought or function. He feeds off my pain, my isolation. I am consumed by his hunger-by his desire. He wants her-he wants her-has wanted her since he felt the transition of her soul into this lifetime. I pray to God for forgiveness but I pray for Captain Kirk more. I will be relieved when he frees me but I will mourn for her the burden that she will undertake in my stead.' End quote." Dehner shifts and exhales. "Well," she begins. "You should know that Kelly held the belief that she was condemned. A bargained vessel that was plagued by demonic forces."
"Possession," Jim mutters, albeit disbelievingly. "She believed she was possessed."
"Tormented, would be the way she would describe it, but yes," Dr. Dehner agrees. "She often stated she was the victim of blinded love that saw an unworthy trade for external youth for the blessing it certainly was not."
Jim suddenly feels sick. She feels sick and uncomfortably aware of her own genius that undeniably points out the connections between the pictures she found in Smith's quarters and Bones's resolutely grim medical conclusions. Smith, so in love with her husband, bargained her own soul for the one thing that would keep him in a state of happiness: her youth and beauty. The God-awful truth of it all slithers down her throat and warps her mind. She still does not believe in religious deities but she cannot deny that there is something dark at work. An unhealthy darkness that Smith willing dabbled in, along with her husband Mudd and perhaps even Mitchell.
There's no doubt that Smith's impromptu meeting was nothing but a opportunity to do-whatever Smith had intended to do. Maybe the goal had been to pull Jim herself in on that unhealthy darkness. The image of Smith's mangled body flashes across her mind, and Jim feels so fucking sick.
Spock seems to be aware of her internal struggle, because he says, "I believe that will suffice-"
"Not quite," Jim interjects with a raised hand, staving off his intervention and ignoring her own shaking nausea. She gives Spock an apologetic look and he holds his peace. "Family," she begins with a dry swallow, focusing her gaze on Dehner's small shoulders. "Did she ever talk about family? Relatives-relationships-contacts."
"Not exclusively. I really must emphasize how much of a private person she was," Dr. Dehner admits and snaps her journal close. "But there was a sister I believe. Younger, even. But my understanding of the situation is that they were at odds and had been for a number of years."
Jim considers that, making a mental note once more to contact Smith's sister personally. She presses on, "And relationships?"
"Captain Kirk," Dr. Dehner says with a confused smile. "Was is that you're trying to pry from me? I mean, with all due respect-I get the feeling you may know more than I do."
"I wouldn't exactly say that," Jim deflects, crossing her arms and holding on at the elbows before she leans forward on her thighs. Gravity pulls her blonde bangs right into her eyesight. "Commander Spock and I are only trying to narrow down a list of suspects. So it would be very helpful if you could remember if she ever at least hinted at having a husband or some significant other. A any oint."
"I see," Dr. Dehner says vaguely, rubbing the middle knuckle of her index finger across the swell of her bottom lip. "Well," she inhales, crossing her legs and leaning more to the right. "She, like all young women her age, experienced a handful of sexual encounters. Healthy encounters of course, mainly with the opposite sex-not withstanding however. I could even go as far as saying that she seemed to have an aversion to long term relationships."
Yeah, no surprises there. Seeing how she was already married, that might have become a problem, im thinks to herself with a brief sort of bitter amusement Obviously she wasn't all that happily married if she had no problem with cheating.
"So she had a preference for one night stands?" Jim guesses, flexing the toes of her left foot as she frowns thoughtfully.
"Sexual encounters," Dr. Dehner corrects patiently. "'One night stand' is a negative term I don't believe in endorsing when referring to the female counterpart."
Jim inhales slowly and exhales carefully. "Okay," she says simply. "Did she ever mention a-sexual encounter hat might have happened between her and someone else aboard this ship?"
"I don't believe so," Dr. Dehner says before her eyes flicker over to Spock, then back again. Strange. "If so she never made mention of it. Once again-"
"She was a very private person," Jim recites with an ironic grin. She watches as Dr. Dehner nods as if to confirm the truth in her words. Jim sees this line of questioning isn't getting her anywhere. She really was only curious about if Smith had ever slipped up and mentioned Mudd, but apparently not. That tidbit is frustratingly confusing. Just what had they been playing at? She looks at Spock. "Did you have any questions?" Otherwise I'll just keep driving us in circles if you let me babble on she mentally adds.
"With your permission, referring to Dr. Dehner's earlier statement," Spock replies. "There is an inconsistency that requires extensive deliberation."
Jim nods with a shrug. She's not sure which exact statement he's referring to but she's curious and willing to turn the conversation over to him.
Spock accepts her silent affirmation and steers his dark eyes in the direction of Dr. Dehner. "Of your encounters with Yeomen Smith, how frequently was the Captain's ill will the main topic?"
Jim feels her eyebrows lift. That was a good question. She looks at Dr. Dehner expectantly as well.
"Well she had expressed an explicit dislike towards Captain Kirk. But that was in reference to the Captain's character and behavior," Dr. Dehner explains as she laces her thinly nimble fingers together over the journal in her lap. "Let me elaborate-she never spoke of harming the Captain. She just felt very disagreeable about her and her work ethics."
Jim snorts, but says nothing when Spock and Dr. Dehner glance her way. She knew good and well how Yeomen Smith felt about her work habits seeing as how she never really applied herself all that much when it came to paperwork and applying her signature here and there.
"How common were these complaints?" Spock questions. "If you also have an average, please provide this estimate as well."
"Sometimes she spent a good five to fifteen minutes on this topic alone. This was every session. She'd describe how unbearable it felt to deal with Captain Kirk and her lack of cooperation. How Captain Kirk made things harder and slower than they had to be. Simple work related jibes. Nothing more," Dr. Dehner explains. "It's not uncommon for an individual to complain about their work or the people that they work with."
"Understood," Spock replies, monotone. "Yet you stated that she sought you out three hours before midnight, prior to her meeting with Captain Kirk with disturbing allegations. Acting unlike herself."
"Yes," Dr. Dehner says slowly. "This behavior was uncommon."
"Nonetheless, you have made it clear that Yeomen Smith frequently voiced her dislike for Captain Kirk which makes her unsavory actions not wholly irreproachable," Spock declares soundly.
Jim glances back and forth between them. Spock looks adamant while Dr. Dehner looks properly chastised. In this verbal tennis match, Spock is dominating, as he usually does. Jim is secretly envious of his oral prowess.
"Kelly Smith was not a violent individual," Dr. Dehner protests weakly. "She ha n former incidents that would-"
"Was it not stated that her diagnosed conditions included multiple diagnoses of Schizoid Personality Disorder, Manic Depression, as well as delusions of reference?" Spock counters.
Dr. Dehner quietly and reluctantly nods.
"Therefore it is highly possible that a woman with conditions such as hers could easily harm not only herself but others, correct?" Spock continues.
"Yes," Dr. Dehner admits unwillingly. "Withou the necessary treatment or intervention, of which, she had access to."
"Doctor, an individual can prepare for rain by facilitating the use of an umbrella but the object itself holds no guarantee of keeping the individual completely dry," Spock counters evenly.
Dr. Dehner says nothing to that, but then, "There is and was no way to ever really be sure Commander Spock. A case such as Yeomen Smith's could have gone either way. Murder, suicide or homicide was never an option, and it certainly was never a factor."
"Perhaps if it had been, then certain situations could have been avoided," Spock remarks, unapologetic. "It has come to my attention that at anytime after or during your encounter with Yeomen Smith you could have alerted either myself or the Captain to the situation. Instead, you held your silence until it was within our obligation to seek you out. As such, your misguidance, unintentional or not, has put this crew and it's Captain at risk. Unfortunately, the repercussion will be a reassessment of your competency suited to your specific field by an evaluation board of your superiors."
Dr. Dehner looks properly scolded but she still finds the energy to nod.
"If there is no dispute over the matter, the Captain and I shall take our leave," Spock decides and stands. He makes no move to actually exit until Jim has risen to her feet. "Until you are assigned a formal hearing, it would be wise to alert your patients and postpone any impending appointments until a deliberation has been made."
Dr. Dehner nods but her expression sours a bit.
"Dr. Dehner," Jim says by way of goodbye. She grabs her shoes without putting them on and turns to exit just as Dr. Dehner walks them to the door. Jim leaves silently with Spock in tow and they both drift down the corridor. She spends that silence going over everything that has just occurred and really lets it all sink in. Midway to the lift, Jim says, "How is it that you're so good at disciplining our personnel?"
Spock does not acknowledge the question until they are on the lift. Even then, he waits until after he pushes a number and tucks his hands behind his back before he responds, "I feel no apprehension on the matter of discipline. As First Officer and Commander, I must acknowledge that my position will require me to correct all errors I have identified in your stead when you have not or refuse to do such. It ensures full functionality of the ship."
"Are you trying to say I avoid disciplining my crew? Because we can go find Mitchell right now and I can prove you wrong," Jim argues and resists the urge to cross her arms and pout because that would be childish.
Spock glances at her with a quirked eyebrow. "Of that I have no doubt, but Mitchell, to date, has been the only exception," Spock remarks. "Your judgment regarding other matters of discipline elsewhere leaves much to be desired."
Jim scoffs. "Well I just-that's-" she fumbles for a response. "I disagree," she says finally. "In fact. I'm willing to wager this. I bet I can be a lot stricter and deal out the punishment that fit the crimes when the time comes to it. And you won't even have to. All you have to do is stand there and basically-continue to exist."
"Indeed?" Spock challenges, and it's amazing how he can make such flat and even speech sound skeptical. "I must disagree. Of those moments when conveying discipline was mandatory, my intervention was required 96.2 percent of the time. I also decline your challenge seeing as there is no benefit to be gained for either of us."
"No?" Jim grins just as the door to the turbolift whooshes open and they step out into the corridor. She's not sure where they are or where they're going but that moment it really wasn't priority. "What if I made it worth your while?"
"I assure you Captain, you can not make it 'worth my while'. Gambling is a disreputable habit I do not condone," Spock states in that matter-of-fact tone.
"Not even if I promised to agree wholeheartedly with your every opinion on any matter if you should win for the next three months?" Jim tempts and watches in satisfaction the telltale twitch of interest that worries Spock's brow. "Think about. If I can't manage to be the proper disciplinary by the end of this month, than it's your victory. Whic means-three months of me agreeing to stay aboard the ship during our missions and leaving the excavating to our more than capable away teams. I wouldn't argue with you looming behind me like some bodyguard if I were on my way to some private meeting with one of our personnel. I woul eve tell you, i explicit detail, how I managed to beat the Kobayashi Maru."
"Captain, that will-" Spock hesitates and Jim can see the indecision that's threatening to usurp his usually expressionless face.
"Come on," Jim urges. "I'm giving you so much leeway here. Say yes. What's the worst that can happen? Don't answer that. Instead-think of this as like a team building exercise. A random, out of the blue and odd team building exercise. In space. And you know-it might actually teach me a lesson or something."
Spock expression slouches into something more apprehensive and there is a fleeting moment where he looks like he might even lecture her. But he doesn't. His dark eyes flicker to and fro from one end of the corridor to the other before he straightens and turns to face her directly. His clasped hands lift a little higher behind him before he asks, "And if the odds should lean in your favor? What would you require as recompense?"
Jim smothers a grin but she's sure it's fruitless. She just wants to remember this moment forever. She might actually be convincing her logical First Officer to participate in something that he wouldn't normally. God-he might not be so bad after all. "Well," she finally says, pretending to think about it very carefully even though she totally knows what she would want. "I suppose, if I were to-I don't know-win," she drawls. "You have to do two things for me."
Spock inclines his head as if to urge her to continue.
"One-stop being an uptight jerk. I mean you can lecture me or whatever, you're Vulcan and that's like a thing so I wont deny you that simple pleasure, so go ahead and join up with Bones and nag me and I'll still do what I want anyway-but don't treat me like I'm a little kid or the dirt between your toes-yes I know, another illogical metaphor but you get the gist of what I'm saying so I wont bother wasting two minutes in explaining it," Jim states without pause. "And two-you hav go to help me with all the paperwork. I don't mean do it for me, I just mean help me with it because to be honest with you, if it's anything more than scribbling out my signature I am just hopeless. Like very. I kind of skipped out on that leson back at the academy. Yeomen Smith was not exaggerating about my horrible paperwork skills."
Spock considers her words for about two hiccups of silence before he, albeit a bit cautiously, says, "Very well. I agree to your terms."
"That would be wise," Jim retorts with an amused smirk. "So uh-let's shake on it." She reaches out with her left hand, one of her heels pointing at his waist like a gun and offers it, looking at him expectantly. Jim i always onsiderate an mindful.
Spock's brow furrows for a brief moment before he wraps his pale fingers on the pointed tip of the shoe and shakes it as if they were really touching hands.
"Awesome! So it's settled. Starting now, all disciplinary matters will fall to me until the end of this month," Jim announces and puffs out her chest with confidence. "And my first order of business will be to start with Mitchell." She turns to locate a video monitor and inquires on the whereabouts of Mitchell.
The computer replies, "Lieutenant Commander Gary Mitchell is located in Officer Training Center, deck 8."
Part 2