Fic: Forced to Fall in Lust
Title: Forced to Fall in Lust
Author: chaotic_vanity
Rating: Hard R.
Pairing: Edward/Jacob
Word Count: 1765
Category: Angst, Romance
Prompt: 20. Edward/Jacob -- angsty, hatred and lust all comes together. Another Werewolf tribe secret -- attraction to vampires, rare but powerful. Confusion but still an undeniable need to be close to one another. Please make it believable? Growling and power control would be great.
Summary: "But we had all heard the legends, the tribe secrets, about this kind of phenomenon. Throughout the years of werewolves hating vampires, there had been a few, rare wolves who had found the idea of those bloodsucking leeches attractive."
Warnings: Um, slash. And it takes place after Eclipse, so some spoilers, I suppose.
Notes: I don't know if this exactly matches the prompt all that well. I tried! :D I really hope it's believable.
Written for twilightathon, Round Two.
Oh, it feels a little bit too right
So I know it must be wrong
Walk Over Me - Dirtie Blonde
I was ready to explode, and I'd been on edge like this for days. Pressure--burning, white hot pressure mixed with cold, hard pain-was blurring my senses. My limbs felt heavy. My head felt crowded and messy. My eyes longed to slip closed, and my mouth… my mouth longed for something else entirely. I knew what I wanted, and I couldn't have it.
Unrequited lust. That's why my mind and my body were so close to the edge. I needed an explosion, and I needed it fast.
I couldn't close my eyes. When I did, his face surged to the front of my mind without respite. I pictured him constantly, now even with my eyes open. I avoided phasing at all costs--not that it mattered much, since the whole pack knew about it, knew how I felt about him. Still, I didn't need anyone seeing my newest fantasies, which involved the rough, hard sex I'd been dreaming of for weeks, coupled with a nice power struggle, teeth, and lots of growling.
Not only had I not chosen a human to fall in lust for, I hadn't even chosen a female. My friends were being relatively decent about it, but I knew that I was oh-so-secretly the gossip subject of all La Push. Jacob Black--vampire lover. Leech lover, as Quil called me.
And that was as unrequited as it got. We were natural enemies; my blood screamed to spill his, and I was sure the feeling was mutual.
But we had all heard the legends, the tribe secrets, about this kind of phenomenon. Throughout the years of werewolves hating vampires, there had been a few, rare wolves who had found the idea of those bloodsucking leeches attractive.
Once in a blue moon, a wolf became attracted to a vampire. No one knew why, or how, or when it would happen. It wasn't the same as imprinting; it didn't happen immediately. The attraction intensified over time, and it was a powerful attraction--but only superficial: lust.
And as I was discovering, this was one intense, powerful, crippling lust. Lust for a vampire.
Why me?
And why for him? Of all the vampires I could be forced to fall in lust for, why Edward Cullen?
I hated myself. My internal struggle was almost worse than my physical struggle, meaning my overwhelming need to be close to him, to touch him, to kiss him. Inside my mind, I was going crazy. How could I feel this way for someone I hated? How could I be attracted to someone who's very existence repulsed me? How could I want sex with a man who could kill me? More important, how could I want sex with man who would soon be marrying my best friend? The questions were killing me--mostly because I knew they had no answers.
&&&
Two days later, I threw caution to the wind and drive to Forks to see him.
Well, I'll be honest: I went to spy on him. I never meant to actually run in to him. I never meant to speak to him. I never meant to--
Let's just say that what happened was not my original plan.
Of course, he was with her. With Bella. How strange to see them together, the two people I wanted to be with most in the world--and I couldn't be with either of them. I watched from a short distance, hidden in the shadow of two trees. They sat on a blanket spread over the grass of Bella's backyard, talking. I couldn't quite hear their conversation, not that I was trying too hard. I didn't want to hear what two lovers were saying to each other. Edward made some sort of remark and they laughed for a couple of seconds. They made such a beautiful picture, and that fact hurt me. When Bella reached over to brush her hand down his arm, I shuddered.
"That should be me," I said unhappily, out loud, not even fearful they might hear me. I wasn't sure whether I meant that I would like to be in Bella's place or Edward's, but what did it really matter? Edward's head swiveled suspiciously in my direction, but he didn't move towards me or given any indication he had indeed heard me. I continued to watch longingly, promising myself I would leave soon and restrict myself to daydreams from now on.
Over an hour later, I was still watching. But now, Bella and Edward apparently decided it was time to go inside. Bella picked up the blanket and folded it, then carried it inside. I watched her go, not noticing Edward's actions. When my eyes found him again, he was purposefully stalking toward me, looking directly at my location. I sighed.
"Damn it."
He approached me and stopped a safe distance away. "You're not the best at hide-and-seek, Jacob Black," he commented, scowling.
"Too bad you're a good seeker," I replied, regretting that I couldn't come up with something wittier and not quite able to keep the longing from my voice. Not that it mattered; Edward could steal my thoughts from my head. I tried to keep my mind blank--and failed. It was too hard to keep from thinking of him with his gorgeous body standing right in front of me.
He took an involuntary, shocked step backward when my mind flashed to a dream I'd had earlier that week. A dream about Edward and I, lying naked on First Beach, watching the sunrise.
"What the hell is this?" he asked. I shrugged. He raised his eyebrows. "So are you here to spy on Bella... or me?"
"You," I acknowledged, though I was unsure why I was telling him the truth. "There's a... legend, or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes, a wolf becomes randomly attracted to a vampire. Hatred is a passion… I guess that translates over into lust."
"You're lusting after me?" Edward asked, looking extremely, beautifully confused, a slight smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him.
"Yes. And I hate myself for it," I said bitterly. "Why me? Why would this happen to me? And why you?"
"We hate each other a hell of a lot?" Edward suggested. His voice was menacing, and it thrilled me to my core.
"I guess that's a possible reason," I said, but shook my head. "I feel like there's more to it, though." We looked at each other, and Edward nodded.
"Bella," we said at the same time.
"The whole conflict over her..."
"I lust after you because we love the same woman?"
"That's a big connection, you've got to admit," he said.
"True."
We paused for a couple seconds, thinking. "You know," I said, "you're taking this better than I thought you would. I thought... if you knew... you would get angry, or offended."
Suddenly Edward looked a little fearful, though he still had that confused look on his face. He rubbed his forehead, frowning as he said, "Jacob. You have to realize... This isn't exactly one-sided."
Now I was the one with a horror-struck look of confusion.
"Not one-sided?" I asked.
"I feel... something... for you," he said, as if that cleared anything up. He read everything I felt in my mind, but I did not have such an easy way to understand him. I suppose he could see I was still confused, because he tried to clarify. "I cannot explain it. I wish it would go away."
"Oh." I could no longer read the look on his face. And I didn't know what to say.
And instant later, I found myself pushed roughly up against a tree, Edward's hard lips fighting against my own. I relaxed in his embrace and kissed him back eagerly, parting my lips to let his tongue in my mouth. When we touched, it was like a hundred electric sparks flowed between our bodies. His cold, hard body was the perfect contrast against my hot blood. I growled loudly, and the vibration against his lips magnified the sensation. Getting more confident, I used the tree for support as I pushed my body hard against his. I could feel his hardening erection pressing against my leg, and I nipped his top lip with my teeth as I placed a hand on his cock and squeezed. He moaned.
I allowed myself several blissful moments in Edward's arms before I pushed him away.
"We can't," I said, panting. He shook his head and stepped away, dropping his arms. I immediately missed his touch.
"Bella."
I nodded. "I can't hurt her. I can't be so selfish."
"Neither can I."
"Ha, right," I said, rolling my eyes. "Aren't you planning her murder right now?" He said nothing. "Listen, I should go," I finished.
"No!" Edward said, then frowned. "Sorry. You can go if you want. It's just that… It hurts me to be away from you. I want so desperately to touch you--even as I still hate you enough to want your death," he whispered.
"I feel exactly the same," I said, scarcely daring to believe him. Was he taking these words right from my mind? It was an honest possibility.
"Promise me... Promise me you won't stay away. We can't be together-and there's a part of me that doesn't want to be with you--but there's an even bigger part that…"
"That can't bear the thought of not feeling you near me," I finished.
Edward nodded. "Just come to me once in awhile, so we can sate the lust we're feeling."
"It's a plan," I said, then turned into the trees and fled. I hope I left him standing there, watching my retreat, missing me. I know I pictured his face and his lips in my mind the whole way home.
&&&
I returned to La Push, feeling at least a little satisfied, though I still hungered. I took comfort in the fact that Edward was feeling this way as well, and in the fact that despite my lust, I still hadn't wanted to hurt Bella.
Shedding my shoes, I phased into my werewolf form. The thoughts of my pack mates immediately entered my mind, and I knew they were hearing my progress towards getting over my lust-crush. I didn’t care.
I would learn to get over this lust--though it was arguably the most powerful attraction I have ever felt for another person--because it was the right thing to do. And I wouldn't be embarrassed about it.
At least now I had someone with whom I could share the pain.
Author: chaotic_vanity
Rating: Hard R.
Pairing: Edward/Jacob
Word Count: 1765
Category: Angst, Romance
Prompt: 20. Edward/Jacob -- angsty, hatred and lust all comes together. Another Werewolf tribe secret -- attraction to vampires, rare but powerful. Confusion but still an undeniable need to be close to one another. Please make it believable? Growling and power control would be great.
Summary: "But we had all heard the legends, the tribe secrets, about this kind of phenomenon. Throughout the years of werewolves hating vampires, there had been a few, rare wolves who had found the idea of those bloodsucking leeches attractive."
Warnings: Um, slash. And it takes place after Eclipse, so some spoilers, I suppose.
Notes: I don't know if this exactly matches the prompt all that well. I tried! :D I really hope it's believable.
Written for twilightathon, Round Two.
Oh, it feels a little bit too right
So I know it must be wrong
Walk Over Me - Dirtie Blonde
I was ready to explode, and I'd been on edge like this for days. Pressure--burning, white hot pressure mixed with cold, hard pain-was blurring my senses. My limbs felt heavy. My head felt crowded and messy. My eyes longed to slip closed, and my mouth… my mouth longed for something else entirely. I knew what I wanted, and I couldn't have it.
Unrequited lust. That's why my mind and my body were so close to the edge. I needed an explosion, and I needed it fast.
I couldn't close my eyes. When I did, his face surged to the front of my mind without respite. I pictured him constantly, now even with my eyes open. I avoided phasing at all costs--not that it mattered much, since the whole pack knew about it, knew how I felt about him. Still, I didn't need anyone seeing my newest fantasies, which involved the rough, hard sex I'd been dreaming of for weeks, coupled with a nice power struggle, teeth, and lots of growling.
Not only had I not chosen a human to fall in lust for, I hadn't even chosen a female. My friends were being relatively decent about it, but I knew that I was oh-so-secretly the gossip subject of all La Push. Jacob Black--vampire lover. Leech lover, as Quil called me.
And that was as unrequited as it got. We were natural enemies; my blood screamed to spill his, and I was sure the feeling was mutual.
But we had all heard the legends, the tribe secrets, about this kind of phenomenon. Throughout the years of werewolves hating vampires, there had been a few, rare wolves who had found the idea of those bloodsucking leeches attractive.
Once in a blue moon, a wolf became attracted to a vampire. No one knew why, or how, or when it would happen. It wasn't the same as imprinting; it didn't happen immediately. The attraction intensified over time, and it was a powerful attraction--but only superficial: lust.
And as I was discovering, this was one intense, powerful, crippling lust. Lust for a vampire.
Why me?
And why for him? Of all the vampires I could be forced to fall in lust for, why Edward Cullen?
I hated myself. My internal struggle was almost worse than my physical struggle, meaning my overwhelming need to be close to him, to touch him, to kiss him. Inside my mind, I was going crazy. How could I feel this way for someone I hated? How could I be attracted to someone who's very existence repulsed me? How could I want sex with a man who could kill me? More important, how could I want sex with man who would soon be marrying my best friend? The questions were killing me--mostly because I knew they had no answers.
&&&
Two days later, I threw caution to the wind and drive to Forks to see him.
Well, I'll be honest: I went to spy on him. I never meant to actually run in to him. I never meant to speak to him. I never meant to--
Let's just say that what happened was not my original plan.
Of course, he was with her. With Bella. How strange to see them together, the two people I wanted to be with most in the world--and I couldn't be with either of them. I watched from a short distance, hidden in the shadow of two trees. They sat on a blanket spread over the grass of Bella's backyard, talking. I couldn't quite hear their conversation, not that I was trying too hard. I didn't want to hear what two lovers were saying to each other. Edward made some sort of remark and they laughed for a couple of seconds. They made such a beautiful picture, and that fact hurt me. When Bella reached over to brush her hand down his arm, I shuddered.
"That should be me," I said unhappily, out loud, not even fearful they might hear me. I wasn't sure whether I meant that I would like to be in Bella's place or Edward's, but what did it really matter? Edward's head swiveled suspiciously in my direction, but he didn't move towards me or given any indication he had indeed heard me. I continued to watch longingly, promising myself I would leave soon and restrict myself to daydreams from now on.
Over an hour later, I was still watching. But now, Bella and Edward apparently decided it was time to go inside. Bella picked up the blanket and folded it, then carried it inside. I watched her go, not noticing Edward's actions. When my eyes found him again, he was purposefully stalking toward me, looking directly at my location. I sighed.
"Damn it."
He approached me and stopped a safe distance away. "You're not the best at hide-and-seek, Jacob Black," he commented, scowling.
"Too bad you're a good seeker," I replied, regretting that I couldn't come up with something wittier and not quite able to keep the longing from my voice. Not that it mattered; Edward could steal my thoughts from my head. I tried to keep my mind blank--and failed. It was too hard to keep from thinking of him with his gorgeous body standing right in front of me.
He took an involuntary, shocked step backward when my mind flashed to a dream I'd had earlier that week. A dream about Edward and I, lying naked on First Beach, watching the sunrise.
"What the hell is this?" he asked. I shrugged. He raised his eyebrows. "So are you here to spy on Bella... or me?"
"You," I acknowledged, though I was unsure why I was telling him the truth. "There's a... legend, or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes, a wolf becomes randomly attracted to a vampire. Hatred is a passion… I guess that translates over into lust."
"You're lusting after me?" Edward asked, looking extremely, beautifully confused, a slight smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him.
"Yes. And I hate myself for it," I said bitterly. "Why me? Why would this happen to me? And why you?"
"We hate each other a hell of a lot?" Edward suggested. His voice was menacing, and it thrilled me to my core.
"I guess that's a possible reason," I said, but shook my head. "I feel like there's more to it, though." We looked at each other, and Edward nodded.
"Bella," we said at the same time.
"The whole conflict over her..."
"I lust after you because we love the same woman?"
"That's a big connection, you've got to admit," he said.
"True."
We paused for a couple seconds, thinking. "You know," I said, "you're taking this better than I thought you would. I thought... if you knew... you would get angry, or offended."
Suddenly Edward looked a little fearful, though he still had that confused look on his face. He rubbed his forehead, frowning as he said, "Jacob. You have to realize... This isn't exactly one-sided."
Now I was the one with a horror-struck look of confusion.
"Not one-sided?" I asked.
"I feel... something... for you," he said, as if that cleared anything up. He read everything I felt in my mind, but I did not have such an easy way to understand him. I suppose he could see I was still confused, because he tried to clarify. "I cannot explain it. I wish it would go away."
"Oh." I could no longer read the look on his face. And I didn't know what to say.
And instant later, I found myself pushed roughly up against a tree, Edward's hard lips fighting against my own. I relaxed in his embrace and kissed him back eagerly, parting my lips to let his tongue in my mouth. When we touched, it was like a hundred electric sparks flowed between our bodies. His cold, hard body was the perfect contrast against my hot blood. I growled loudly, and the vibration against his lips magnified the sensation. Getting more confident, I used the tree for support as I pushed my body hard against his. I could feel his hardening erection pressing against my leg, and I nipped his top lip with my teeth as I placed a hand on his cock and squeezed. He moaned.
I allowed myself several blissful moments in Edward's arms before I pushed him away.
"We can't," I said, panting. He shook his head and stepped away, dropping his arms. I immediately missed his touch.
"Bella."
I nodded. "I can't hurt her. I can't be so selfish."
"Neither can I."
"Ha, right," I said, rolling my eyes. "Aren't you planning her murder right now?" He said nothing. "Listen, I should go," I finished.
"No!" Edward said, then frowned. "Sorry. You can go if you want. It's just that… It hurts me to be away from you. I want so desperately to touch you--even as I still hate you enough to want your death," he whispered.
"I feel exactly the same," I said, scarcely daring to believe him. Was he taking these words right from my mind? It was an honest possibility.
"Promise me... Promise me you won't stay away. We can't be together-and there's a part of me that doesn't want to be with you--but there's an even bigger part that…"
"That can't bear the thought of not feeling you near me," I finished.
Edward nodded. "Just come to me once in awhile, so we can sate the lust we're feeling."
"It's a plan," I said, then turned into the trees and fled. I hope I left him standing there, watching my retreat, missing me. I know I pictured his face and his lips in my mind the whole way home.
&&&
I returned to La Push, feeling at least a little satisfied, though I still hungered. I took comfort in the fact that Edward was feeling this way as well, and in the fact that despite my lust, I still hadn't wanted to hurt Bella.
Shedding my shoes, I phased into my werewolf form. The thoughts of my pack mates immediately entered my mind, and I knew they were hearing my progress towards getting over my lust-crush. I didn’t care.
I would learn to get over this lust--though it was arguably the most powerful attraction I have ever felt for another person--because it was the right thing to do. And I wouldn't be embarrassed about it.
At least now I had someone with whom I could share the pain.