win or die

[loomingfruits]

Name: Melody
How did you find out about the community? If it's through an LJ user, please tell us who it is (individual user if possible, not just a community name!): lurking through cattiechaos’ journal, ahaha. Hi!
Age: 18
Location: America
Occupation: student

All About You

1. Describe your ideal house/home. Please go into as much detail as possible, and be sure to include your ideal geographical location in the description!.
I want to live under the ocean! Like, deep sea ocean, in the middle of the Pacific. Which would only be possibly if I either learn how to breathe underwater or develop technology that makes the ocean habitable, but that’s pretty much my dream home.

More realistically, I’m not super picky about where I live. I don’t mind the heat or the cold really, but I have trouble with areas with extreme season changes. Like it has to either be hot all the time or cold all the time. So I’ll probably want to live near a body of water, but who knows what else! Location isn’t a big deal to me, in the end.

What I do know I want for sure is a large living room with the biggest, softest sofa ever. I have plans for that sofa, mostly curling up there (maybe with a significant other) and watching TV or reading books. I do think I’d prefer living in a house instead of an apartment, because I want to own my property, and also because I don’t want to deal with having neighbors quite that close. I want to have a lot of big dogs, too, so a large yard would come in handy for that. I don’t need lots of rooms so much as I want large rooms, so an open concept floor plan would be nice. I have also decided that I want those two brothers that do house hunting + remodeling on HGTV to find/make me my perfect house lol.

2. Imagine you’re given the classic opportunity: a genie granting you three wishes. What would you wish for? Please be as elaborate as you can. Wishing for more wishes is not permitted!
Can I wish for another genie? No? Maybe the genie has siblings.

1. Economic stability for everyone (looking at you, Spain) or world peace or the end of hunger. Those ors could be ands if the genie was cool with that; otherwise, I’d let him choose! They’re all equally important issues imo, and I might as well do something productive with my wishes. At the same time, I’m kind of leery about wishing for big changes. Genies seem tricky and prone to twisting words, like maybe he’d end hunger by having wheat or corn or rice take over all the growing fields like weeds, so now instead of hunger we have overproduction and malnutrition. So I’d be very careful about the wording with this one, and maybe letting him choose would throw him off lol.

2. Telepathy! I am very confused about other people sometimes, and I’ve always wondered what it was like to be someone other than me. I’d word this one carefully, too, because telepathy sounds like the sort of thing that can backfire horribly. Like what if you can’t block out nasty thoughts or the people next door are keeping you up at night. So if I could, I’d wish for telepathy and also to be skilled at being telepathic. And if possible, like if the genie were super generous, I’d wish for telepathy for all my friends and family, too, so we could have this in common and help each other out.

3. I’m not sure about this wish! Part of me wants to keep it in case things go terribly wrong and I need to veto one of my other wishes/fix something huge and terrible in my life (which feels a bit like cheating but whatever if it makes life easier I will gladly cheat) in the future. But another part of me kind of really wants a daemon, like in Phillip Pullman’s HDM series. Except I want mine to be invincible so I don’t die if it gets hurt.

3. In your life so far, what accomplishment are you the most proud of? Why? You can list more than one if you have trouble deciding. ;)
This was a really hard question because I don’t think of myself as a super proud person in general. Like, I’m not the sort to think or brag about what I’ve accomplished, although I’ll definitely own what I’ve done and am not modest at all, either. So, I’m proud of everything I’ve done, sort of? There are very few things I’ve done that I truly regret, and even then I’m proud of myself for getting out of those messes/not causing lasting damage to anyone. I guess I’m pretty proud of getting into college? But the thing is, I’ve always had some expectation of further education, and I didn’t apply for any Ivy League schools or anything so it’s nothing super special. I guess I’m pretty proud of how well I’m adjusting to college so far, but I’ll probably be more proud when I’ve been in school for longer than 2 weeks lol.

4. Which of the following is most important to you: Love, Money, Knowledge, Family, Friendship, Adventure, or Pleasure? Which is the least important to you? Please explain why for each choice.
Friendship is the most important to me, although knowledge and pleasure tie for second. I value my friends a lot, and think it’s really important to have people in your life that you can count on, and that can count on you in return. It’s really fulfilling and fun and I just can’t imagine a life without friends. Like, you choose your friends, and because of that they reflect you and your taste, which makes a good friend even more valuable. My friends are also the ones who push me past my limits and out of my comfort zone a lot of the time, and I really appreciate that. They help me become a better person and I’d be very lonely without them.

Knowledge means a lot because I have a lot of trouble dealing with ignorance, especially deliberate ignorance, and it would be hypocritical of me to remain ignorant. I don’t think I could much bear life without knowing and learning, either. And pleasure is like, what’s the point of doing anything and suffering anything if there’s no pleasure? Pleasure brings meaning and enjoyment to life. A task and a goal isn’t half as rewarding if there’s no pleasure and enjoyment at the end. I have this hope that things will always get better, like even if everything is good now, if you just work a bit harder, they could be even better, and even if it’s difficult and you’re lazy and don’t want to try anymore, the possibility is there.

Least important is money, but not really. I think money is important for success and I want lots of it so I can be successful, but I really don’t care about the technicalities of economics or the concept of money. Like, it’s still very important but not as important as the other things in the list, and if it were possible I wouldn’t care at all.

5. What's one quote (or passage, song lyric, etc.) that effectively describes you and your values? Explain.
“It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.” - Niccolo Machiavelli
I have certain issues with labeling and stereotypes, even though, being a middle class white female, most of my societal issues are with being a woman. I guess I feel a lot of secondhand embarrassment for any person of color/ethnicity/religion that suffers for being who they are. Like, it’s not that I understand what those people are going through, because I don’t and wouldn’t presume to, but more like I feel embarrassed for my people. I live in an area with lots and lots of white privilege, but also in an area where most whites don’t act like they’ve worked for/deserve what they consider to be their “rights.” It’s kind of disgusting and I just really hate the concept of ideas defining people rather than people defining ideas.

6. How do you manage your money? On that note, how important is money/financial security to you? Go into as much detail as you can.
I’m decent at managing money, I hope! I’ve lived with my parents for my entire life so far, which means I haven’t had the need to be financially responsible, nor have I had much opportunity to control large amounts of money. Like, so far I’ve done a pretty good job imo! At least, I have a job and am saving most of my money; at the same time, I’ll admit that money for indulgences (overpriced coffee, movie tickets, dresses) is largely provided by my parents. I don’t know how I’d do managing money and balancing between necessities and indulgences because I haven’t had to yet. But I like to think I’d do a good job! I’m really self conscious of like everything I do, which leads me to assume I’d be self conscious with money management, too. Financial security is very important to me, even though sometimes I wish it wasn’t; one less thing to worry about, you know? It’s a necessity to me, because if I want to be free to do what I want, I have to have money to back me up.

7. Name (and elaborate on) some of your hobbies. What are your favorite things to do outside of school/the office?
I like to read, of course. I like to sit outside and read, especially with friends. I’m not a huge fan of reading in bookstores or coffee shops, though! I’m not sure what bugs me the most, but I think part of it is the noise and the fact that people are coming in and out. I can’t concentrate when people are moving, since I always have to watch what they’re doing lol.

And I like walking my dog. It’s really relaxing! I like animals a lot, and like walking with my dog a lot better than walking by myself. I feel like sometimes walking with friends is too consuming. Like, I’m an introvert; my dog doesn’t have any expectations of conversation or wit or anything.

I garden sometimes! Not seriously, but I have a small garden at home. My favorite right now is the hydrangea, because I’ve finally successfully turned the flowers blue. I like plants that grow back, so I have a few rose bushes and a funky evergreen bush. I also am likely the most unqualified/unprofessional gardener ever. I just pick plants that seem good and try my best to keep them alive.

8. Name three things you are afraid of. Explain.
Failure. No one wants to be a disappointment, and sometimes I’m terrified of the future. I can’t predict what’s going to happen, which makes me wary and nervous. I don’t want to make a mistake that will snowball into disaster.

Being forced to do things I don’t want to. I hate not being in control, and things out of my control can make me very nervous. No means no in any situation, from eating broccoli at dinner to being cajoled into presenting first. I’ll eat what I want and present when I’m ready, thank you very much.

Being alone. I don’t like physical loneliness. I need people/living things around me, even if they’re not talking to me (like, I sometimes get tired of having to interact with people but still want to be near them). I used to do all my reading and homework in the kitchen because my room was too physically isolated from the rest of the house.

9. Name (and elaborate on) your top three BEST and top three WORST qualities (personality-related, not physical). Please answer as fully as you can, as this is an important question.
Best
01. Passionate - with people, ideas, and everything I commit myself to, really. I’ve definitely got a bulldog mentality here; there are few things that can dissuade me once I get started, and I’m very devoted to reaching endgoals I’ve set for myself. It’s not just that I work hard for what I want; I have all these feelings, too. They come together; there’s never a cause or a project that I’m invested in that I don’t put in loads of emotional investment into, too. So if I were one of those crazy PETA people (I’m not, I promise), I’d be one of the super crazy ones, that would go to all the rallies and cover myself with animal rights warpaint and have adopted all of the cats in my already cramped home. In reality, it’s more of a pulling all-nighters to perfect my perfect research project and not letting an argument go, ever, if it means protecting a friend thing. Once I commit, I’m in for the long haul.

02. Curious - to be honest, I’ve never actually had to work hard with schoolwork, so it’s always personal motivation that gets me to take the next step. Sometimes I just want to know about random things, and once I know something intriguing I always want to know more. It’s always the foreign things that don’t make sense that I go after (yay marine biology), and once I’m interested/curious about something, I’ll pretty much wring it dry (see: passionate).

03. Patient - Or, more succinctly, delayed gratification. I can dig it. A lot of the time I’d rather not, because being hedonistic is a lot easier and more comfortable, but when I see a good opportunity and need to suffer a bit for it, I will. There are tons of things I still want to do with my life, but before that there are also lots of less fun things that have to be done (school is a good example). And, okay, this is only for what I really want; I’m very good at rationalizing myself out of additional work. If I were to take the marshmallow test now, I’d just eat it and be done, not because I can’t wait, but because if I waited and got the second/third/whatever marshmallow, I’d get fat.

Worst
01. Indecisive - not so much in the sense that I can never make up my mind, but that I don’t always know what I want (like I want everything but can’t choose just one?). I can objectively analyze what and where a decision will net me, but I can’t predict what I’ll gain or lose on an emotional level. Studying is a good example here: I can see where the choices I make will lead me, from researcher or office slave to any combination in between, but I can’t see which will make me happy or which I will enjoy the most. I lack experience and without that I don’t trust decisions I may make because of that. Some decisions are easier, because with those all paths lead to the same destination. Like, I want to go to college and become smart and get a job and be happy, and to do that I need to get through college and not do dumb things and work really hard; I just don’t know what exactly that will be like and can’t decide what I want that to be like, even.

02. Apathetic - I’m terribly indifferent at times. If I haven’t had an experience myself, I can’t empathize with the situation. In that sense, I can be very emotional with what I care about, friends, family, causes, because those are the things I know. And then more abstract or far away ideas like world hunger or animal abuse, not so much. I know consciously that these are bad, and I do get sad twinges when I seen provocative imagery, but I don’t undergo emotional roller coasters for things I’m not connected to. Maybe if I visited a third world country or worked at an animal shelter, I’d have more feelings, but in the end I haven’t and so I’m the jerk that doesn’t cry when sad things happen. Sometimes this makes me feel sheltered, but mostly I just feel like I’m a physical, not theoretical, person and that’s reflected in how I feel, too.

03. Awkward - I'm kind of one of those people that loves other people but doesn’t know what to do with them, sometimes. And this isn't always the best thing, socially. I get quiet at odd moments, or have trouble expressing myself in a way that's completely relatable. Especially when I'm having trouble making up my mind, I can give the wrong impression/seem standoffish whereas in reality I'm just having a mild internal crisis about WHAT SHOULD I DO?? Or there's something I want to say but don't know how to say it without seeming offensive, or I space out and forget what's going on and ruin the flow of conversation.

A Song of Ice and Fire Related

1.How many books from the series have you completed?
Five-ish? I got stuck on A Feast for Crows and spent months picking through and reading it POV by POV, and when a Dance with Dragons came out I kind of gave up on that and just went straight to the fifth book. I’ll probably go back and finish the parts I’m missing eventually, but for now I feel okay and that I didn’t miss much.

2.Who are your favorite three characters in the series? Why?
Sansa Stark - her growth ended up becoming my favorite part of the later books. I was a bit annoyed by her at first, probably because I saw a lot of my own ignorance and sheltered upbringing in her. But the way she overcame her disadvantages while still retaining the best parts of her personality really hit home with me. I honestly didn’t expect her to last as long as she has, and although now I can see her making it to the end, I was initially very impressed with her strength in Joffrey’s court. She surprises me a lot, and I like that.

Benjen Stark - I am so fond of Benjen Stark it’s a bit unreasonable. I firmly believe that he isn’t dead and will return in future books to play a huge and heroic role. That is all.

Brienne - she tied with Arya for this spot, but I didn’t want my list to be only Starks lol. Brienne is just a fabulous person. Her personality is so fundamentally good that it almost hurts to read, especially considering the environment of Westeros where she should be eaten alive. The fact that she’s made it this far is really impressive, and the way she adapts and grows without losing her compassion and honor makes me really hope that she lives.

3.Who are your least favorite three characters in the series? Why?
Danaerys Targaryen - Dany was my favorite character in the first book! I still like her, honestly, but I really don’t like where her story line is going, if that makes sense? So her chapters are kind of my least favorites right now and sometimes I skip them to pretend that those things aren’t happening. Maybe I’m just not getting with the setting, but I honestly don’t want her in Westeros on the Iron Throne, either. Bloodlines mean nothing to me personally, so for me her claim has always been the weakest.

Joffrey Barathen - he’s like the definition of why I don’t like people who think they deserve privilege without having earned it first. I wasn’t as upset with his behavior in the books because I could appreciate his value as a villain, and man, he was really convenient when I needed someone to hate on. His decisions were all bad and unnecessary, etc. But I think it was watching the HBO show that made me truly dislike him to an unreasonable extent. Like I know the scene with the whores wasn’t book canon but some things can’t be forgiven.

Quentyn Martell - So, Quentyn. He kind of died just at the moment I might have started to like him, I guess. It’s not so much that I dislike him, exactly, but what gets him on this list is the fact that I still can’t puzzle out why there was such a focus on him in ADWD if he was just going to end up fried by Dany’s dragons. I understand that he’ll be a catalyst for future events, especially with the Martells in relation to Dany, but still, I kind of feel like I wasted a lot of time and investment reading about him if he was just going to die. So I guess my dislike is completely unwarranted and should probably be directed at GRRM instead lol.

4.#1 Favorite moment in all of ASOIAF so far? Why?
Wyman Manderly and the Frey pie. Honestly, I didn’t really care about him before that, but then it was like boom, here is this man, and he is a clever, daring badass. I was impressed and a bit confused and then even more impressed, and the only reason he’s not on my favorite characters list is because he couldn’t break top 3 (he’s probably somewhere around 6th or 7th). And he also says one of my most favorite quotes, “the North remembers, and the mummer’s farce is almost done.”

Am I allowed to have two favorites? Because the scene where Cat died, that just slayed me. I’ve always been pretty neutral about Cat, but seeing her broken down like that was extremely compelling. I have lots of feelings about Lady Stoneheart and most of them are angsty.

5. In your dream-world, how would you like to see the series end, and why?
Queens! Sansa for the North, Dany in Essos, Cersei on Casterly Rock, Margaery in Highgarden etc etc. Also Stannis and Melisandre have adventures somewhere else that isn’t Westeros.

I don’t really have any concrete dream-world plans, except for maybe the Starks having their happy ending (and Rickon has his own storyline) and Benjen Stark being alive. I definitely want Brienne to have a happy ending, too, but I’m not super picky about how exactly that turns out. Like I guess I’m more interested in happiness for select characters than I am in details of who gets what throne.