Interlude (J/A) (6/?)
This fic is rated: U for Understatedly Disquieting
Fandom: James Bond: Goldeneye
Characters/Pairing: James/Alec
Summary: Alec has a nightmare. James manipulates the situation.
Warnings: Nothing that’ll surprise anyone who’s seen the movie.
This series contains sex that, while nominally consensual, takes place during and after brainwashing. As the character is incapable of giving any meaningful consent, the sex in the story would legally and ethically be considered rape. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Word Count: 798
Feedback: yes, please!
X-Posted: were_lemur, forengland
Series Master List
Chapter One
Previous Chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own James Bond. I don't own Alec Trevelyan either (alas), nor any other characters mentioned in this fic. James, Alec, etc. are all property of Ian Fleming and MGM. I'm just playing with them for a while. Not making any money, don't have any money, please don't sue!
“It’s all right. I’m here, now.” James bent over Alec. “You were dreaming.”
No answer, but his eyes were open, now, his breath slowing from a mad rush to a normal pace. Finally, Alec managed a shaky smile. “I’m -- I’m awake. I think.”
“You are.”
“Good.” He fumbled for James’s hand, pulled it close to his cheek. James took the hint, stroking with his thumb, rubbing his fingers through three weeks’ worth of stubble.
This was the fourth time Alec had woken to nightmares. The doctor had warned him about possible sleep disturbances when he began to taper Alec down to a lower dose of morphine, but he hadn’t expected them to start so soon.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised that Alec’s demons were so close to the surface. But he wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He opened his mouth to offer Alec another dose of morphine, but then shut it again.
Sooner or later, he’d have to have this conversation. He supposed it might as well be now. “What were you dreaming?”
Alec dropped his eyes, as if ashamed. “I was -- I was falling.”
“No surprise, I suppose.”
“No.” His eyes closed and for a moment James thought he was going to go back to sleep, but then they jerked open again. “I always heard that if you hit the ground in a dream, you die. But I don’t suppose that applies to me, anymore.”
“I wouldn’t think so.”
“So there’s nothing to be afraid of.” He clenched his hand into a fist, and James realized that he was trembling. “It’s in the past.”
“In the dream, you don’t know that.”
“No.” For a moment, his face twisted into a mask of fear, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. “All I know is, you’ve let me go. Abandoned me to the cold arms of fate. Or, to be strictly accurate, gravity.” He managed a parody of a smile, but it only lasted a moment.
“I know.”
“How can you?” Alec cried.
James combed his fingers through Alec’s hair. “You’re not the only one who’s been having nightmares.”
“You never have nightmares.” Alec swallowed hard, but when James reached for the cup of ice, he clutched at his arm. “What do you have to have nightmares about?”
“Losing you.”
Alec blinked up at him. “But you -- you -- ”
“Made the biggest mistake of my life.” That was close enough to the truth. Certainly the biggest mistake of the past twenty-six years. “We both know how close I came to -- that you almost -- ” He felt genuine tears rising in his eyes. “I almost killed you, Alec -- and in my nightmares, there’s no almost left.”
He looked at Alec, trying to judge his reaction, but his face was unreadable. Closed off.
Two could play at that. He stood, turned his back, though he left one hand resting on the side rail of Alec’s bed. “I never quite got over losing you the last time, Alec. I used to dream that you came back to me. And then you did. And -- ” He squeezed his eyes shut.
He felt a hand close over his wrist. He covered it with his other hand. “If it was the same every night, maybe I could get used to it, but it’s not. Sometimes I get down there, but it’s too late. And I have to watch as you bleed out in my arms -- or burn to death under a pile of rubble. Which is bad enough. But the worst -- the absolute worst -- are the ones where I just fly away, and leave you to your fate. Leave you to die. And I have to live with that, for the rest of my life. Knowing that I’ve killed you. Killed the man I love. Again.”
“But you didn’t.” Alec tugged at his wrist. “You came back for me. You got to me in time.”
“In time to sign you up for months of agony.” He let a trace of bitterness seep into his voice. “I’m sure you’re grateful.”
“You came back,” Alec said. “After everything I did -- after everything I tried to do -- you still love me.” His tugs became an insistent pull, and James let himself be turned back around. “That’s all that matters.”
“Is it?” James asked, thinking, It can’t possibly be this easy.
“Yes,” Alec whispered. “I can live with the nightmares, as long as you’re here when I wake up.”
“I’ll always be here, Alec.” He tightened his grip on Alec’s wrist until he saw him wince, then loosened his hand and rubbed to soothe the pain away. “I’m never going to let you go again.”
Next Chapter
Fandom: James Bond: Goldeneye
Characters/Pairing: James/Alec
Summary: Alec has a nightmare. James manipulates the situation.
Warnings: Nothing that’ll surprise anyone who’s seen the movie.
This series contains sex that, while nominally consensual, takes place during and after brainwashing. As the character is incapable of giving any meaningful consent, the sex in the story would legally and ethically be considered rape. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Word Count: 798
Feedback: yes, please!
X-Posted: were_lemur, forengland
Series Master List
Chapter One
Previous Chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own James Bond. I don't own Alec Trevelyan either (alas), nor any other characters mentioned in this fic. James, Alec, etc. are all property of Ian Fleming and MGM. I'm just playing with them for a while. Not making any money, don't have any money, please don't sue!
“It’s all right. I’m here, now.” James bent over Alec. “You were dreaming.”
No answer, but his eyes were open, now, his breath slowing from a mad rush to a normal pace. Finally, Alec managed a shaky smile. “I’m -- I’m awake. I think.”
“You are.”
“Good.” He fumbled for James’s hand, pulled it close to his cheek. James took the hint, stroking with his thumb, rubbing his fingers through three weeks’ worth of stubble.
This was the fourth time Alec had woken to nightmares. The doctor had warned him about possible sleep disturbances when he began to taper Alec down to a lower dose of morphine, but he hadn’t expected them to start so soon.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised that Alec’s demons were so close to the surface. But he wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He opened his mouth to offer Alec another dose of morphine, but then shut it again.
Sooner or later, he’d have to have this conversation. He supposed it might as well be now. “What were you dreaming?”
Alec dropped his eyes, as if ashamed. “I was -- I was falling.”
“No surprise, I suppose.”
“No.” His eyes closed and for a moment James thought he was going to go back to sleep, but then they jerked open again. “I always heard that if you hit the ground in a dream, you die. But I don’t suppose that applies to me, anymore.”
“I wouldn’t think so.”
“So there’s nothing to be afraid of.” He clenched his hand into a fist, and James realized that he was trembling. “It’s in the past.”
“In the dream, you don’t know that.”
“No.” For a moment, his face twisted into a mask of fear, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. “All I know is, you’ve let me go. Abandoned me to the cold arms of fate. Or, to be strictly accurate, gravity.” He managed a parody of a smile, but it only lasted a moment.
“I know.”
“How can you?” Alec cried.
James combed his fingers through Alec’s hair. “You’re not the only one who’s been having nightmares.”
“You never have nightmares.” Alec swallowed hard, but when James reached for the cup of ice, he clutched at his arm. “What do you have to have nightmares about?”
“Losing you.”
Alec blinked up at him. “But you -- you -- ”
“Made the biggest mistake of my life.” That was close enough to the truth. Certainly the biggest mistake of the past twenty-six years. “We both know how close I came to -- that you almost -- ” He felt genuine tears rising in his eyes. “I almost killed you, Alec -- and in my nightmares, there’s no almost left.”
He looked at Alec, trying to judge his reaction, but his face was unreadable. Closed off.
Two could play at that. He stood, turned his back, though he left one hand resting on the side rail of Alec’s bed. “I never quite got over losing you the last time, Alec. I used to dream that you came back to me. And then you did. And -- ” He squeezed his eyes shut.
He felt a hand close over his wrist. He covered it with his other hand. “If it was the same every night, maybe I could get used to it, but it’s not. Sometimes I get down there, but it’s too late. And I have to watch as you bleed out in my arms -- or burn to death under a pile of rubble. Which is bad enough. But the worst -- the absolute worst -- are the ones where I just fly away, and leave you to your fate. Leave you to die. And I have to live with that, for the rest of my life. Knowing that I’ve killed you. Killed the man I love. Again.”
“But you didn’t.” Alec tugged at his wrist. “You came back for me. You got to me in time.”
“In time to sign you up for months of agony.” He let a trace of bitterness seep into his voice. “I’m sure you’re grateful.”
“You came back,” Alec said. “After everything I did -- after everything I tried to do -- you still love me.” His tugs became an insistent pull, and James let himself be turned back around. “That’s all that matters.”
“Is it?” James asked, thinking, It can’t possibly be this easy.
“Yes,” Alec whispered. “I can live with the nightmares, as long as you’re here when I wake up.”
“I’ll always be here, Alec.” He tightened his grip on Alec’s wrist until he saw him wince, then loosened his hand and rubbed to soothe the pain away. “I’m never going to let you go again.”
Next Chapter