Fic: Through A Glass Darkly 2/5?
Story: Through A Glass Darkly
Author: wmr /wendymr
Characters: Rose Tyler, AU Ninth Doctor, AU Jack Harkness, Jackie Tyler
Rated: PG13
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately, though I'm willing to pay in instalments...
Summary: It’s only when she’s finally given up looking for a way back that she finds him.
Written for the incredibly generous wiggiemomsi, who won my services in the September Support Stacie Auction. I promised a minimum-5000-words fic; so far, this one's over 16,000 words. I hope you like it, Wiggie! With very many thanks to my fantastic team of BRs, dark_aegis, yamx and kae_nine.
Chapter 1: Shadow of the Past
Chapter 2: Tug of War
She’s deliberately spent the evening cleaning and doing laundry. The telly’s stayed off, and she hasn’t gone near the computer. Her phone’s off the hook, and her mobile’s off.
It’s breaking rules left, right and centre - as a field agent, she’s supposed to be contactable at any time, and to do that she has to keep aware of news - but she can’t. The thought of turning on the TV and seeing film of the TARDIS, or getting a call from work with an update on the unidentified alien craft - or, worse, Pete or Mickey calling with news that it’s been identified and demanding to know why she didn’t tell them - is too much to bear.
She hopes they’ve gone. And yet at the same time she hopes they haven’t. Only the fact that she changed into ancient pyjamas as soon as she got home - and that was also deliberate - is stopping her from running out and taking the Tube back down to Westminster Bridge to see if they’re still there.
Walking out of the TARDIS earlier was one of the hardest things she’s ever done. It hurt every bit as much as driving away from Darlig Ulv Stranden after saying goodbye to the Doctor, once she finally admitted to herself that he wasn’t coming back for her; that when he said he couldn’t come through properly and she wouldn’t ever see him again he meant it.
She could never have imagined that actually getting to see him again would tear her apart.
He’s still the Doctor, after all, no matter what face he wears - and she loved that daft old face every bit as much as his second one. And Jack, too, was precious to her. Seeing them again, and knowing they’re not her Doctor and Jack... it’s making her wish she’d been nowhere near Torchwood Tower when the message came through.
There aren’t supposed to be Time Lords in this universe. Her Doctor told her that after they left the first time, after the Cybermen. She was still coming to terms with meeting her parents-who-weren’t, and Ricky, and finding out that she was just a yappy dog in this universe. Where was he? she asked. Why hadn’t his counterpart in that universe come to help sort out the Cybermen?
No Time Lords, he told her. Time Lords could travel between parallel universes when his people were still alive, but there was only ever one Gallifrey. She didn’t just take his word for it. In her first couple of years here, she studied and researched and asked lots of questions, digging deep into the records of as many official agencies as she could get her hands on - even UNIT records, which she wasn’t authorised to see. Amazing what strings the daughter of Pete Tyler can pull. But it was all for nothing: there was no reference anywhere to anyone who bore even the slightest resemblance to the Doctor - or any Time Lord.
Now it seems there was a Doctor all along. He just didn’t come to this time-period, he told her. Why’s that? What’s different about this universe?
Oh, there’s no point even asking the questions. She’s not going to get answers to them. She’s not going to see him again, is she? Not if Jack has anything to do with it, that’s obvious. For some reason, he hated her on sight. It doesn’t make any sense, because that’s just so unlike the Jack she knew. The happy, flirty, outrageous Captain would never have been so cold, so hostile.
The sound of the buzzer makes her jump, and she almost drops the bundle of underwear she’s just retrieved from the dryer. Mickey or Pete, no doubt - or even more likely, her mum - fed up with trying to get through on the phone and come round to have a go at her in person instead.
She’s sorely tempted not to answer, but it’s only postponing the inevitable. They can wait until she’s pulled on a top over her pyjamas, though.
A quick check through the peep-hole shows it’s none of the people she was expecting. Her heart skips at least a couple of beats, and for a moment she actually considers not opening the door. Her willpower’s not that strong.
“Doctor. Jack. I... what are you doing here?”
“Need to talk to you.” This Doctor’s every bit as terse as the version of him she knew. God, this is killing her. “Can we come in?”
She swallows. “Suppose you’d better.” Standing back, she pulls the door wide open.
***
It’s a long conversation, and one he takes very little part in.
The Doctor, talking a lot while managing to say very little, asks Rose if she can tell them more about her other universe and how she ended up here. If Jack hadn’t been travelling with an alien who shouldn’t exist, and if he hadn’t already seen many more impossible things than he ever dreamed of, he’d have found the story completely unbelievable: other-universe counterparts of him and the Doctor, the Doctor crossing back and forth between the universes, and then Rose finally ending up here as an alternative to crashing into the Void.
But she’s leaving out things, too. After a while, he - or his counterpart - disappears from the narrative. Dead? Or left behind while the other Doctor travelled on with Rose? After all, one thing’s perfectly clear: she’s head over heels in love with the guy - a guy who seems entirely content to leave her here without him. And, though she avoids saying so, his guess is that her Doctor regenerated at some point. She’s let a couple of things slip; nothing that anyone who didn’t already know about Time Lord regenerations would pick up on. He knows the Doctor has.
And then it’s the Doctor’s turn, and he finds himself withdrawing to the very edge of the room, leaning against the wall, wanting not to be here but unable to make himself leave.
The Doctor’s right. He knows it, but it doesn’t make the outcome any easier. The one consolation is that Rose seems equally reluctant - not to believe the Doctor, but to accept his recommendation. Not a recommendation, of course; being the Doctor, it’s more a mandate.
“So, what? You’re saying that the only thing I can do to stop attractin’ all these aliens is to leave here an’ come with you?” She does scorn well, does Rose Tyler. “You mean a genius like you can’t think of a way to get this stuff out of me?”
The Doctor huffs. “ ‘S not as simple as that.”
“Never is with you,” Rose mutters, and despite himself he almost smiles. There’s no doubt that she knows the Doctor.
“It’s the only way you’ll be safe - an’ not just you. This planet.” From his position on the couch, the Doctor glances across the room, and he finds his gaze caught and held. There’s apology in the grey-blue eyes, but also a reminder that this is necessary. “Jack an’ I are good, but we can’t be here every time there’s an invasion.”
“We’ve managed so far without you.” Rose’s voice is tart. “Unless invisibility’s one of your talents in this universe?”
The Doctor shrugs. “Told you. Don’t normally come to this time. Now I know what’s goin’ on, though...” He gives one of his lightning-fast manic smiles. “Be much easier if you’re just not here. Great big flashing beacon, you are.”
“And yet you never noticed before,” she points out.
“Time-traveller, me. I get around a bit.” Another shrug. “Pushed tea-chests at the Boston Tea Party, I did.”
Rose’s gaze falls. “I know.” Her voice drops to a near-whisper.
Yes. Definitely in love with her Doctor - with both regenerations, it seems.
“What if I could take you back to him?” the Doctor says, the abrupt change of subject accompanied by a complete change in tone.
“What?” Rose’s eyes have widened.
“Your Doctor. The one you travelled with in the other universe. Would you come with me then?”
Her hand goes to her throat. “You can take me back to my Doctor?”
Oh, yeah, that’s the magic word, all right. The sarcasm and distance is all gone. Now she’s hooked. One more word from the Doctor and she’ll be reeled in.
“Can try. Can’t promise anything, mind.”
Typical. Trust the Doctor to pull defeat out of victory on something like this. Would it have hurt him to lie, just a little?
“He said it was impossible.” Rose is on her feet now, pacing with her arms wrapped around her middle. “Said two universes would collapse if he tried.”
The Doctor sprawls back on the sofa, arms stretched along the back. “Shows how much he knows. You’re dealin’ with the real genius here, Rose Tyler.” For all the Doctor’s apparent confidence, though, he knows his friend’s not sure at all. Looks like he’s decided to go with the lie after all.
“Yeah, right.” For an instant, there’s a flash of a smile. And it looks like that’s done it, even if she doesn’t entirely believe the Doctor.
“All right,” she says after a pause, dropping back into her armchair. “If you’re really saying you can’t take this stuff out of me.” She looks straight at the Doctor, and all at once it’s clear that this woman’s no fool, no silly romantic girl who’ll do anything to get back to the man she thinks she’s in love with. She’s trained as a fighter, trained to suspect anyone and everyone if she has grounds. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you can’t.”
The Doctor meets her gaze. “Not with any guarantee that it won’t kill you.”
She nods. “Maybe that’s what has to happen. I won’t be a danger to this planet. It’s not right.”
“ ’S not right that you’d die,” the Doctor counters.
She shrugs. “Thing is, even if you can get me back to the other universe, what’s to say I won’t be a - what did you call it? A beacon? - there as well?”
The Doctor’s eyes widen. “You’d be in the TARDIS with the other me, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t be a problem.” He shakes his head faintly. “At a guess, it wouldn’t have that effect there. Didn’t before you left, did it?”
Her head dips, and Jack can see she’s obviously deep in thought. “Hard to know,” she says after a few moments. “We did get a lot of alien invasions, but the Doctor didn’t seem to think they were unusual. Could’ve been partly me, I suppose.” She looks anxious. “I don’t want to go back if I’m just gonna be a danger there, too.”
The Doctor taps his fingers against one knee. “Think it might be the fact that you’re from another universe, too. You’ve got that universe’s Vortex inside you. ‘S not the same as this. Makes a difference.”
She studies the Doctor for several seconds, then nods. “Makes sense. All right. I’ll come with you, but on one condition.”
“What’s that, then?” Oh, no, the Doctor’s not used to being negotiated with.
“You give me a week. Have... people to tell. Stuff to sort out. Can’t just leave.” She hesitates, then adds, “Did that once before. Not again.”
The Doctor hesitates, then nods. “S’pose that’s fair. One week.”
***
The Captain’s silent for most of the walk back.
Not surprising, of course. He’s been quiet ever since he re-emerged into the console room, an hour or so after storming out. He came in, stopped four feet from the Time Rotor, and said, “So when are we going to get her?” and practically nothing else since. He’s surprised Jack actually came with him to Rose’s flat.
Glad, though. He knew Jack wouldn’t take any part in the conversation, but the lad’s got other skills.
“So, what d’you think?” he asks finally, when the TARDIS is a faint speck of light up ahead in the dark October evening.
“She won’t change her mind.” There’s no doubt at all in Jack’s voice. “She’ll come.” A pause, then Jack adds, “Too big a crush on the other you to resist.”
That’s what he thought, though it looked a bit more than a crush. But then he doesn’t have Jack’s reason to be cynical about Rose Tyler - or about anyone, really.
He lays a hand against the younger man’s back. “Jack. You have to let it go some time.”
He feels the muscles of Jack’s back move as he shrugs. “Nothing to let go.”
The bloke’s lying, but he’s not going to challenge him on it. This is difficult enough for him as it is. “You know I wouldn’t be doin’ this unless I had to. Not tryin’ to force you to do anything you don’t want to - even if I think you should.”
There’s several seconds’ pause, but finally Jack answers. “I know.”
He slides his hand upwards, cupping Jack’s nape briefly before wrapping his arm around the lad’s shoulders. “Come on. TARDIS just up the road.”
“Yeah.” For a brief moment, Jack’s head dips, almost resting against his, before he picks up pace. “Got a large hypervodka waiting with my name on it.”
***
She had to say yes.
How could she not? Even if there’s only the faintest chance of seeing her Doctor again, she has to take it. It’s not just that she misses him so much, has missed him every single day of the last six years, but she knows without needing to be told that he misses her too. It was in his eyes - all over his face - that day on the beach. It was in the words he didn’t say as much as those he did. And he needs her. He shouldn’t be alone.
Though he might not be. He might have found someone else by now... She falters for a moment, but then resolves to cross that bridge when she comes to it. He’s not the kind of man who should be alone, anyway. Not with everything he’s lost, everything he’s had to do. If he has found someone else to travel with, that’s good. He should have. He needs someone.
And if he has got someone with him... well, there’s room in the TARDIS for more than two, anyway. Worked out pretty well when Jack was with them, didn’t it?
Jack...
She exhales sharply, then springs from her chair and starts pacing.
One thing’s clear from this evening’s visit. Being with these two won’t be as hard as she thought it would originally. She left so abruptly earlier because it hurt too much to see them and hear them and know they weren’t her Doctor and Jack.
But they couldn’t be more different, even if it still hurts to look at them, completely identical to the men she loved. Still loves, if she’s honest. The Doctor, for starters: he’s nothing like her first Doctor. Where’s the moodiness and the desperate grief that was never far from the surface? This Doctor’s chatty, almost friendly - more like her second Doctor in temperament, though he could fall into darker moods as well sometimes. This Doctor - well, okay, she’s only spent a couple of hours with him, but she can’t remember her version of him ever being like this with someone he’d just met.
With her Doctor, his attitude was, she knows, mostly down to grief, and over time he seemed to be better able to put it behind him, at least sometimes. Never completely, though; it was always there, never far from the surface. If she had to guess, and she could be completely wrong, she’d think this Doctor never lost his people - that he never had to make that desperate, terrible decision to destroy his planet to save the universe. Does that mean the Time War didn’t happen here? That there are other Time Lords out there? Then why did her Doctor not realise that?
And then there’s Jack. At first, his cold distance made no sense. This evening, though, she noticed the way he watched her, and the way he looked at the Doctor. Jealousy? Her Jack always did fancy both of them, and he made no secret of it, though it wasn’t until he said goodbye that she realised it went deeper than that - far deeper. He loved them both, enough to die for them.
This Jack, then, is in love with the Doctor. But is he really possessive enough to see anyone else who gets even remotely close as a threat? This afternoon, he turned hostile as soon as he realised that she knew who they were. And he doesn’t like the idea of her travelling with them, that’s all too clear.
But it doesn’t really add up. The Jack she knew would never have been jealous. He’d have laughed and said the more the merrier.
What’s happened to him? It can’t just be jealousy, unless this man was never anything like the Jack she knew, and that’s not the way things seem to work between the two universes. Sure, the original Jackie Tyler wasn’t like her mum, but she started out the same, didn’t she? Her dad - Pete’s said so. It was circumstances, and how she reacted to them, that made that Jackie Tyler turn out the way she did.
Jack’s been hurt, and he’s still recovering from it. Has to be something like that. And her heart’s aching for the happy, affectionate man she knew, who has to be somewhere underneath this cold and hostile version of her Captain.
Patience and understanding. That’s what Mickey told her he used to get through to Jake when they first knew each other and Jake was too wrapped up in mourning Ricky to acknowledge that Mickey was there and wanted to be his friend. That, and several six-packs of Newkie Brown.
Jack always did prefer a decent hypervodka to the alcoholic beverages available in her time, but she’d guess there’s a decent supply of both on the TARDIS. The Doctor - this Doctor, anyway - liked the occasional draft Boddy’s.
She’s going to travel on the TARDIS again.
Of course she had to say yes. There was no choice, and not just because they might be able to take her back to her Doctor. The main reason’s what she is. What she’s done ever since she’s been here. It’s all her fault.
All those alien invasions were because she’s here, and she’s full of artron energy and Void stuff and - did he say Vortex energy? She’s the reason people died. And if the Doctor really can’t take that stuff out of her, then she can’t stay here, putting everyone in danger. Her mum and dad. Tony. Mickey and Jake and everyone else at Torchwood, the people who put themselves on the front line when there’s an alien invasion. Ordinary people who just happen to get in the way.
Her mum’s not going to be happy. Actually, that’s an understatement.
She walks into the bedroom, shedding clothes along the way. It’s not that late, but it’s been an exhausting day. And if she’s tired enough to go to bed now she can’t be expected to phone her mum tonight.
Tomorrow. She’ll have to go around there tomorrow and explain. Early, though, because of course her mum will have heard about the TARDIS, and she’ll know that Rose went to investigate. It’s surprising that Jackie Tyler’s not already come banging on the door demanding an explanation - but a relief. A reprieve.
Until tomorrow, when she has to tell her mum she’s leaving with the Doctor and won’t ever be back.
***
It’s a very long time since he’s been this restless. It’s hours after Jack went to bed, and he’s wandering the corridors of the TARDIS instead of tinkering or reading or otherwise doing something useful. He tried; he just can’t settle to it.
Of course, Jack has a lot to do with the unsettled state of his mind. The lad didn’t have just one drink when they got back. He had to take the bottle away from Jack in the end, and then practically put him to bed. Jack clung to him in a way he hasn’t done since the very early days, and only his promise to himself not to invade Jack’s mind again stopped him from laying his fingers on the young man’s temples to send him to sleep.
Eventually, Jack did sleep, but only to wake up an hour or so later, sweating and shaking after a nightmare. The TARDIS alerted him, of course, so he arrived bare seconds after the lad woke, but by then the damage was done. In his head, Jack was back in the burning ruins of Schattenwelt, as if the months in between hadn’t happened.
Jack’s asleep again now, and peacefully this time - the TARDIS hasn’t told him otherwise, and he’s given the ship very clear instructions in that regard. He’s the one who’s unable to settle.
Is he doing the right thing bringing Rose Tyler on board? Oh, she can’t stay on her planet. It’s unlikely there’s anywhere safe in the universe for her for more than a few days with what she’s got inside her. She’d have to keep moving, a perpetual wanderer, in order to avoid attracting disaster wherever she went. The TARDIS is the only place in this universe where she’ll be protected - and where the universe will be safe from her. He really doesn’t have a choice.
But it’s no coincidence that Jack’s just had his first nightmare in weeks. He might be doing what’s best for Rose Tyler, and for her planet, but in the process he’s causing Jack the kind of pain he, of all people, knows better than to inflict.
Is there another way? Rose asked for a week. What’s stopping him from taking as long as Jack needs to get used to the idea - months, a year, even, by human measurements - and come back for her then? She’d never know it’d been longer for the two of them. Trouble is, that’s always dangerous. What if something happens to prevent them coming back? He can’t take Jack somewhere until after he’s got rid of Rose either; if he’s going to have any chance of taking her back to her original universe, he’s going to need Jack’s help. For a human - well, mostly human - the lad’s got an aptitude for temporal physics.
He can’t put Jack’s preferences - even his mental health - above the safety of a planet. Even if it is a planet Jack’s got no reason to want to save.
No, this is the only solution. And, all right, he’s already thought it could be good for Jack in the long run, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to find it easy to watch his friend over the next while. Especially as he hasn’t given Jack a choice about this. Maybe he wasn’t able to, but that makes no difference.
With a sigh, he heads back to the console room. Maybe those equations he set earlier will have finished running and he’ll be closer to a solution for crossing the Void safely - and thus getting Rose out of his TARDIS and Jack’s orbit quickly.
***
“Rose Tyler, you open this door this minute!”
Her mug falls from her suddenly nerveless fingers and clatters to the table, tea spreading over the surface and dripping to the floor. Shit. Just typical of her mum, to come round without any warning.
She could have done with some time to think about how she’s going to explain this. Oh, well. No point wishing for the stars. Ignoring the spilt tea - she doesn’t want her mum banging on the door a second time and annoying the neighbours - she walks out to the front door. As it is, she notices the neighbour across the hall has her door slightly open.
“Nosy old cow,” she mutters as she steps back to let her mum come in. It’s barely half past seven, and already Jackie Tyler’s dressed in the kind of outfit she’d never have imagined wearing back on the Powell Estate. Back then, actually, she’d still have been wandering around in her dressing-gown at this hour of the morning. Today, though, she’s wearing expensive wool trousers, a silk top and a loose, flowing jacket, and her hair’s already in an up-do.
She doesn’t even get a chance to offer a cup of tea. Jackie’s barely inside the flat when she says, “What the bloody hell’s the TARDIS doing here?”
“Long story,” she answers with a sigh, heading back into the kitchen. She reaches for a cloth to wipe up the tea, adding, “It’s not his TARDIS.”
“What d’you mean, it’s not his TARDIS? Mickey recognised it. Said it’s exactly the same. I wanted him to go over there, mind, bang on the door and ask himself what he thinks he’s doing waiting all this time before coming back-”
“It’s not him, Mum,” she interrupts more forcefully. Just as well she’s down on her haunches cleaning the floor, because that lump in her throat’s back. Her Doctor isn’t coming for her, probably not ever. And what does that say about what she means to him? Is it even a good idea for her to take up this other Doctor’s offer to try to take her back to him?
“Not him? What are you talking about? Oh, give me that.” Suddenly, her mum’s on the floor and taking the cloth from her. “Still as messy as ever, you are. Mop up the table - what’s the point of cleaning down here if it’s still dripping from up there?”
She shakes her head and goes to do what Jackie says. No point telling her mum that this wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t come banging on the door, of course. “It’s not the Doctor we know. An’ I think you’d better sit down.”
Obviously satisfied that the floor’s clean, her mum ignores her recommendation and instead goes to make two cups of tea. Finally, they’re sitting at the table, and the Tyler gimlet stare is on her. No more stalling. She takes a deep breath and launches into the story.
It takes almost three cups of tea, thanks to her mum’s incessant interruptions - she just hopes her dad knew Jackie was coming over this morning, because at least then they won’t be expecting her to get to work on time - before the whole story’s told.
“That alien git!” her mum exclaims once she’s got through the part about the stuff that’s inside her. “I knew I should’ve slapped him silly when I still had the chance. Now look at what he’s done to you!” She slams her cup down on the table. “This one better be able to put it right, that’s all I can say.”
Her heart’s in her throat. There’s no easy way to say this, not at all. And it’s going to devastate her mum. Her, too; for all that she’s longed for her Doctor to come and get her, she’s never actually faced the reality of what it would mean for her. Leaving her mum and dad behind; never seeing them again. Never seeing Tony again. Not ever.
“He can’t.” Swallowing, she looks her mother straight in the eye. “I’ve got to leave here an’ never come back. This is it, Mum. In a week, I’m gonna be gone.”
***
tbc in Chapter 3: Friction
Author: wmr /wendymr
Characters: Rose Tyler, AU Ninth Doctor, AU Jack Harkness, Jackie Tyler
Rated: PG13
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately, though I'm willing to pay in instalments...
Summary: It’s only when she’s finally given up looking for a way back that she finds him.
Written for the incredibly generous wiggiemomsi, who won my services in the September Support Stacie Auction. I promised a minimum-5000-words fic; so far, this one's over 16,000 words. I hope you like it, Wiggie! With very many thanks to my fantastic team of BRs, dark_aegis, yamx and kae_nine.
Chapter 1: Shadow of the Past
Chapter 2: Tug of War
She’s deliberately spent the evening cleaning and doing laundry. The telly’s stayed off, and she hasn’t gone near the computer. Her phone’s off the hook, and her mobile’s off.
It’s breaking rules left, right and centre - as a field agent, she’s supposed to be contactable at any time, and to do that she has to keep aware of news - but she can’t. The thought of turning on the TV and seeing film of the TARDIS, or getting a call from work with an update on the unidentified alien craft - or, worse, Pete or Mickey calling with news that it’s been identified and demanding to know why she didn’t tell them - is too much to bear.
She hopes they’ve gone. And yet at the same time she hopes they haven’t. Only the fact that she changed into ancient pyjamas as soon as she got home - and that was also deliberate - is stopping her from running out and taking the Tube back down to Westminster Bridge to see if they’re still there.
Walking out of the TARDIS earlier was one of the hardest things she’s ever done. It hurt every bit as much as driving away from Darlig Ulv Stranden after saying goodbye to the Doctor, once she finally admitted to herself that he wasn’t coming back for her; that when he said he couldn’t come through properly and she wouldn’t ever see him again he meant it.
She could never have imagined that actually getting to see him again would tear her apart.
He’s still the Doctor, after all, no matter what face he wears - and she loved that daft old face every bit as much as his second one. And Jack, too, was precious to her. Seeing them again, and knowing they’re not her Doctor and Jack... it’s making her wish she’d been nowhere near Torchwood Tower when the message came through.
There aren’t supposed to be Time Lords in this universe. Her Doctor told her that after they left the first time, after the Cybermen. She was still coming to terms with meeting her parents-who-weren’t, and Ricky, and finding out that she was just a yappy dog in this universe. Where was he? she asked. Why hadn’t his counterpart in that universe come to help sort out the Cybermen?
No Time Lords, he told her. Time Lords could travel between parallel universes when his people were still alive, but there was only ever one Gallifrey. She didn’t just take his word for it. In her first couple of years here, she studied and researched and asked lots of questions, digging deep into the records of as many official agencies as she could get her hands on - even UNIT records, which she wasn’t authorised to see. Amazing what strings the daughter of Pete Tyler can pull. But it was all for nothing: there was no reference anywhere to anyone who bore even the slightest resemblance to the Doctor - or any Time Lord.
Now it seems there was a Doctor all along. He just didn’t come to this time-period, he told her. Why’s that? What’s different about this universe?
Oh, there’s no point even asking the questions. She’s not going to get answers to them. She’s not going to see him again, is she? Not if Jack has anything to do with it, that’s obvious. For some reason, he hated her on sight. It doesn’t make any sense, because that’s just so unlike the Jack she knew. The happy, flirty, outrageous Captain would never have been so cold, so hostile.
The sound of the buzzer makes her jump, and she almost drops the bundle of underwear she’s just retrieved from the dryer. Mickey or Pete, no doubt - or even more likely, her mum - fed up with trying to get through on the phone and come round to have a go at her in person instead.
She’s sorely tempted not to answer, but it’s only postponing the inevitable. They can wait until she’s pulled on a top over her pyjamas, though.
A quick check through the peep-hole shows it’s none of the people she was expecting. Her heart skips at least a couple of beats, and for a moment she actually considers not opening the door. Her willpower’s not that strong.
“Doctor. Jack. I... what are you doing here?”
“Need to talk to you.” This Doctor’s every bit as terse as the version of him she knew. God, this is killing her. “Can we come in?”
She swallows. “Suppose you’d better.” Standing back, she pulls the door wide open.
***
It’s a long conversation, and one he takes very little part in.
The Doctor, talking a lot while managing to say very little, asks Rose if she can tell them more about her other universe and how she ended up here. If Jack hadn’t been travelling with an alien who shouldn’t exist, and if he hadn’t already seen many more impossible things than he ever dreamed of, he’d have found the story completely unbelievable: other-universe counterparts of him and the Doctor, the Doctor crossing back and forth between the universes, and then Rose finally ending up here as an alternative to crashing into the Void.
But she’s leaving out things, too. After a while, he - or his counterpart - disappears from the narrative. Dead? Or left behind while the other Doctor travelled on with Rose? After all, one thing’s perfectly clear: she’s head over heels in love with the guy - a guy who seems entirely content to leave her here without him. And, though she avoids saying so, his guess is that her Doctor regenerated at some point. She’s let a couple of things slip; nothing that anyone who didn’t already know about Time Lord regenerations would pick up on. He knows the Doctor has.
And then it’s the Doctor’s turn, and he finds himself withdrawing to the very edge of the room, leaning against the wall, wanting not to be here but unable to make himself leave.
The Doctor’s right. He knows it, but it doesn’t make the outcome any easier. The one consolation is that Rose seems equally reluctant - not to believe the Doctor, but to accept his recommendation. Not a recommendation, of course; being the Doctor, it’s more a mandate.
“So, what? You’re saying that the only thing I can do to stop attractin’ all these aliens is to leave here an’ come with you?” She does scorn well, does Rose Tyler. “You mean a genius like you can’t think of a way to get this stuff out of me?”
The Doctor huffs. “ ‘S not as simple as that.”
“Never is with you,” Rose mutters, and despite himself he almost smiles. There’s no doubt that she knows the Doctor.
“It’s the only way you’ll be safe - an’ not just you. This planet.” From his position on the couch, the Doctor glances across the room, and he finds his gaze caught and held. There’s apology in the grey-blue eyes, but also a reminder that this is necessary. “Jack an’ I are good, but we can’t be here every time there’s an invasion.”
“We’ve managed so far without you.” Rose’s voice is tart. “Unless invisibility’s one of your talents in this universe?”
The Doctor shrugs. “Told you. Don’t normally come to this time. Now I know what’s goin’ on, though...” He gives one of his lightning-fast manic smiles. “Be much easier if you’re just not here. Great big flashing beacon, you are.”
“And yet you never noticed before,” she points out.
“Time-traveller, me. I get around a bit.” Another shrug. “Pushed tea-chests at the Boston Tea Party, I did.”
Rose’s gaze falls. “I know.” Her voice drops to a near-whisper.
Yes. Definitely in love with her Doctor - with both regenerations, it seems.
“What if I could take you back to him?” the Doctor says, the abrupt change of subject accompanied by a complete change in tone.
“What?” Rose’s eyes have widened.
“Your Doctor. The one you travelled with in the other universe. Would you come with me then?”
Her hand goes to her throat. “You can take me back to my Doctor?”
Oh, yeah, that’s the magic word, all right. The sarcasm and distance is all gone. Now she’s hooked. One more word from the Doctor and she’ll be reeled in.
“Can try. Can’t promise anything, mind.”
Typical. Trust the Doctor to pull defeat out of victory on something like this. Would it have hurt him to lie, just a little?
“He said it was impossible.” Rose is on her feet now, pacing with her arms wrapped around her middle. “Said two universes would collapse if he tried.”
The Doctor sprawls back on the sofa, arms stretched along the back. “Shows how much he knows. You’re dealin’ with the real genius here, Rose Tyler.” For all the Doctor’s apparent confidence, though, he knows his friend’s not sure at all. Looks like he’s decided to go with the lie after all.
“Yeah, right.” For an instant, there’s a flash of a smile. And it looks like that’s done it, even if she doesn’t entirely believe the Doctor.
“All right,” she says after a pause, dropping back into her armchair. “If you’re really saying you can’t take this stuff out of me.” She looks straight at the Doctor, and all at once it’s clear that this woman’s no fool, no silly romantic girl who’ll do anything to get back to the man she thinks she’s in love with. She’s trained as a fighter, trained to suspect anyone and everyone if she has grounds. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you can’t.”
The Doctor meets her gaze. “Not with any guarantee that it won’t kill you.”
She nods. “Maybe that’s what has to happen. I won’t be a danger to this planet. It’s not right.”
“ ’S not right that you’d die,” the Doctor counters.
She shrugs. “Thing is, even if you can get me back to the other universe, what’s to say I won’t be a - what did you call it? A beacon? - there as well?”
The Doctor’s eyes widen. “You’d be in the TARDIS with the other me, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t be a problem.” He shakes his head faintly. “At a guess, it wouldn’t have that effect there. Didn’t before you left, did it?”
Her head dips, and Jack can see she’s obviously deep in thought. “Hard to know,” she says after a few moments. “We did get a lot of alien invasions, but the Doctor didn’t seem to think they were unusual. Could’ve been partly me, I suppose.” She looks anxious. “I don’t want to go back if I’m just gonna be a danger there, too.”
The Doctor taps his fingers against one knee. “Think it might be the fact that you’re from another universe, too. You’ve got that universe’s Vortex inside you. ‘S not the same as this. Makes a difference.”
She studies the Doctor for several seconds, then nods. “Makes sense. All right. I’ll come with you, but on one condition.”
“What’s that, then?” Oh, no, the Doctor’s not used to being negotiated with.
“You give me a week. Have... people to tell. Stuff to sort out. Can’t just leave.” She hesitates, then adds, “Did that once before. Not again.”
The Doctor hesitates, then nods. “S’pose that’s fair. One week.”
***
The Captain’s silent for most of the walk back.
Not surprising, of course. He’s been quiet ever since he re-emerged into the console room, an hour or so after storming out. He came in, stopped four feet from the Time Rotor, and said, “So when are we going to get her?” and practically nothing else since. He’s surprised Jack actually came with him to Rose’s flat.
Glad, though. He knew Jack wouldn’t take any part in the conversation, but the lad’s got other skills.
“So, what d’you think?” he asks finally, when the TARDIS is a faint speck of light up ahead in the dark October evening.
“She won’t change her mind.” There’s no doubt at all in Jack’s voice. “She’ll come.” A pause, then Jack adds, “Too big a crush on the other you to resist.”
That’s what he thought, though it looked a bit more than a crush. But then he doesn’t have Jack’s reason to be cynical about Rose Tyler - or about anyone, really.
He lays a hand against the younger man’s back. “Jack. You have to let it go some time.”
He feels the muscles of Jack’s back move as he shrugs. “Nothing to let go.”
The bloke’s lying, but he’s not going to challenge him on it. This is difficult enough for him as it is. “You know I wouldn’t be doin’ this unless I had to. Not tryin’ to force you to do anything you don’t want to - even if I think you should.”
There’s several seconds’ pause, but finally Jack answers. “I know.”
He slides his hand upwards, cupping Jack’s nape briefly before wrapping his arm around the lad’s shoulders. “Come on. TARDIS just up the road.”
“Yeah.” For a brief moment, Jack’s head dips, almost resting against his, before he picks up pace. “Got a large hypervodka waiting with my name on it.”
***
She had to say yes.
How could she not? Even if there’s only the faintest chance of seeing her Doctor again, she has to take it. It’s not just that she misses him so much, has missed him every single day of the last six years, but she knows without needing to be told that he misses her too. It was in his eyes - all over his face - that day on the beach. It was in the words he didn’t say as much as those he did. And he needs her. He shouldn’t be alone.
Though he might not be. He might have found someone else by now... She falters for a moment, but then resolves to cross that bridge when she comes to it. He’s not the kind of man who should be alone, anyway. Not with everything he’s lost, everything he’s had to do. If he has found someone else to travel with, that’s good. He should have. He needs someone.
And if he has got someone with him... well, there’s room in the TARDIS for more than two, anyway. Worked out pretty well when Jack was with them, didn’t it?
Jack...
She exhales sharply, then springs from her chair and starts pacing.
One thing’s clear from this evening’s visit. Being with these two won’t be as hard as she thought it would originally. She left so abruptly earlier because it hurt too much to see them and hear them and know they weren’t her Doctor and Jack.
But they couldn’t be more different, even if it still hurts to look at them, completely identical to the men she loved. Still loves, if she’s honest. The Doctor, for starters: he’s nothing like her first Doctor. Where’s the moodiness and the desperate grief that was never far from the surface? This Doctor’s chatty, almost friendly - more like her second Doctor in temperament, though he could fall into darker moods as well sometimes. This Doctor - well, okay, she’s only spent a couple of hours with him, but she can’t remember her version of him ever being like this with someone he’d just met.
With her Doctor, his attitude was, she knows, mostly down to grief, and over time he seemed to be better able to put it behind him, at least sometimes. Never completely, though; it was always there, never far from the surface. If she had to guess, and she could be completely wrong, she’d think this Doctor never lost his people - that he never had to make that desperate, terrible decision to destroy his planet to save the universe. Does that mean the Time War didn’t happen here? That there are other Time Lords out there? Then why did her Doctor not realise that?
And then there’s Jack. At first, his cold distance made no sense. This evening, though, she noticed the way he watched her, and the way he looked at the Doctor. Jealousy? Her Jack always did fancy both of them, and he made no secret of it, though it wasn’t until he said goodbye that she realised it went deeper than that - far deeper. He loved them both, enough to die for them.
This Jack, then, is in love with the Doctor. But is he really possessive enough to see anyone else who gets even remotely close as a threat? This afternoon, he turned hostile as soon as he realised that she knew who they were. And he doesn’t like the idea of her travelling with them, that’s all too clear.
But it doesn’t really add up. The Jack she knew would never have been jealous. He’d have laughed and said the more the merrier.
What’s happened to him? It can’t just be jealousy, unless this man was never anything like the Jack she knew, and that’s not the way things seem to work between the two universes. Sure, the original Jackie Tyler wasn’t like her mum, but she started out the same, didn’t she? Her dad - Pete’s said so. It was circumstances, and how she reacted to them, that made that Jackie Tyler turn out the way she did.
Jack’s been hurt, and he’s still recovering from it. Has to be something like that. And her heart’s aching for the happy, affectionate man she knew, who has to be somewhere underneath this cold and hostile version of her Captain.
Patience and understanding. That’s what Mickey told her he used to get through to Jake when they first knew each other and Jake was too wrapped up in mourning Ricky to acknowledge that Mickey was there and wanted to be his friend. That, and several six-packs of Newkie Brown.
Jack always did prefer a decent hypervodka to the alcoholic beverages available in her time, but she’d guess there’s a decent supply of both on the TARDIS. The Doctor - this Doctor, anyway - liked the occasional draft Boddy’s.
She’s going to travel on the TARDIS again.
Of course she had to say yes. There was no choice, and not just because they might be able to take her back to her Doctor. The main reason’s what she is. What she’s done ever since she’s been here. It’s all her fault.
All those alien invasions were because she’s here, and she’s full of artron energy and Void stuff and - did he say Vortex energy? She’s the reason people died. And if the Doctor really can’t take that stuff out of her, then she can’t stay here, putting everyone in danger. Her mum and dad. Tony. Mickey and Jake and everyone else at Torchwood, the people who put themselves on the front line when there’s an alien invasion. Ordinary people who just happen to get in the way.
Her mum’s not going to be happy. Actually, that’s an understatement.
She walks into the bedroom, shedding clothes along the way. It’s not that late, but it’s been an exhausting day. And if she’s tired enough to go to bed now she can’t be expected to phone her mum tonight.
Tomorrow. She’ll have to go around there tomorrow and explain. Early, though, because of course her mum will have heard about the TARDIS, and she’ll know that Rose went to investigate. It’s surprising that Jackie Tyler’s not already come banging on the door demanding an explanation - but a relief. A reprieve.
Until tomorrow, when she has to tell her mum she’s leaving with the Doctor and won’t ever be back.
***
It’s a very long time since he’s been this restless. It’s hours after Jack went to bed, and he’s wandering the corridors of the TARDIS instead of tinkering or reading or otherwise doing something useful. He tried; he just can’t settle to it.
Of course, Jack has a lot to do with the unsettled state of his mind. The lad didn’t have just one drink when they got back. He had to take the bottle away from Jack in the end, and then practically put him to bed. Jack clung to him in a way he hasn’t done since the very early days, and only his promise to himself not to invade Jack’s mind again stopped him from laying his fingers on the young man’s temples to send him to sleep.
Eventually, Jack did sleep, but only to wake up an hour or so later, sweating and shaking after a nightmare. The TARDIS alerted him, of course, so he arrived bare seconds after the lad woke, but by then the damage was done. In his head, Jack was back in the burning ruins of Schattenwelt, as if the months in between hadn’t happened.
Jack’s asleep again now, and peacefully this time - the TARDIS hasn’t told him otherwise, and he’s given the ship very clear instructions in that regard. He’s the one who’s unable to settle.
Is he doing the right thing bringing Rose Tyler on board? Oh, she can’t stay on her planet. It’s unlikely there’s anywhere safe in the universe for her for more than a few days with what she’s got inside her. She’d have to keep moving, a perpetual wanderer, in order to avoid attracting disaster wherever she went. The TARDIS is the only place in this universe where she’ll be protected - and where the universe will be safe from her. He really doesn’t have a choice.
But it’s no coincidence that Jack’s just had his first nightmare in weeks. He might be doing what’s best for Rose Tyler, and for her planet, but in the process he’s causing Jack the kind of pain he, of all people, knows better than to inflict.
Is there another way? Rose asked for a week. What’s stopping him from taking as long as Jack needs to get used to the idea - months, a year, even, by human measurements - and come back for her then? She’d never know it’d been longer for the two of them. Trouble is, that’s always dangerous. What if something happens to prevent them coming back? He can’t take Jack somewhere until after he’s got rid of Rose either; if he’s going to have any chance of taking her back to her original universe, he’s going to need Jack’s help. For a human - well, mostly human - the lad’s got an aptitude for temporal physics.
He can’t put Jack’s preferences - even his mental health - above the safety of a planet. Even if it is a planet Jack’s got no reason to want to save.
No, this is the only solution. And, all right, he’s already thought it could be good for Jack in the long run, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to find it easy to watch his friend over the next while. Especially as he hasn’t given Jack a choice about this. Maybe he wasn’t able to, but that makes no difference.
With a sigh, he heads back to the console room. Maybe those equations he set earlier will have finished running and he’ll be closer to a solution for crossing the Void safely - and thus getting Rose out of his TARDIS and Jack’s orbit quickly.
***
“Rose Tyler, you open this door this minute!”
Her mug falls from her suddenly nerveless fingers and clatters to the table, tea spreading over the surface and dripping to the floor. Shit. Just typical of her mum, to come round without any warning.
She could have done with some time to think about how she’s going to explain this. Oh, well. No point wishing for the stars. Ignoring the spilt tea - she doesn’t want her mum banging on the door a second time and annoying the neighbours - she walks out to the front door. As it is, she notices the neighbour across the hall has her door slightly open.
“Nosy old cow,” she mutters as she steps back to let her mum come in. It’s barely half past seven, and already Jackie Tyler’s dressed in the kind of outfit she’d never have imagined wearing back on the Powell Estate. Back then, actually, she’d still have been wandering around in her dressing-gown at this hour of the morning. Today, though, she’s wearing expensive wool trousers, a silk top and a loose, flowing jacket, and her hair’s already in an up-do.
She doesn’t even get a chance to offer a cup of tea. Jackie’s barely inside the flat when she says, “What the bloody hell’s the TARDIS doing here?”
“Long story,” she answers with a sigh, heading back into the kitchen. She reaches for a cloth to wipe up the tea, adding, “It’s not his TARDIS.”
“What d’you mean, it’s not his TARDIS? Mickey recognised it. Said it’s exactly the same. I wanted him to go over there, mind, bang on the door and ask himself what he thinks he’s doing waiting all this time before coming back-”
“It’s not him, Mum,” she interrupts more forcefully. Just as well she’s down on her haunches cleaning the floor, because that lump in her throat’s back. Her Doctor isn’t coming for her, probably not ever. And what does that say about what she means to him? Is it even a good idea for her to take up this other Doctor’s offer to try to take her back to him?
“Not him? What are you talking about? Oh, give me that.” Suddenly, her mum’s on the floor and taking the cloth from her. “Still as messy as ever, you are. Mop up the table - what’s the point of cleaning down here if it’s still dripping from up there?”
She shakes her head and goes to do what Jackie says. No point telling her mum that this wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t come banging on the door, of course. “It’s not the Doctor we know. An’ I think you’d better sit down.”
Obviously satisfied that the floor’s clean, her mum ignores her recommendation and instead goes to make two cups of tea. Finally, they’re sitting at the table, and the Tyler gimlet stare is on her. No more stalling. She takes a deep breath and launches into the story.
It takes almost three cups of tea, thanks to her mum’s incessant interruptions - she just hopes her dad knew Jackie was coming over this morning, because at least then they won’t be expecting her to get to work on time - before the whole story’s told.
“That alien git!” her mum exclaims once she’s got through the part about the stuff that’s inside her. “I knew I should’ve slapped him silly when I still had the chance. Now look at what he’s done to you!” She slams her cup down on the table. “This one better be able to put it right, that’s all I can say.”
Her heart’s in her throat. There’s no easy way to say this, not at all. And it’s going to devastate her mum. Her, too; for all that she’s longed for her Doctor to come and get her, she’s never actually faced the reality of what it would mean for her. Leaving her mum and dad behind; never seeing them again. Never seeing Tony again. Not ever.
“He can’t.” Swallowing, she looks her mother straight in the eye. “I’ve got to leave here an’ never come back. This is it, Mum. In a week, I’m gonna be gone.”
***
tbc in Chapter 3: Friction