( Read more... )

If anyone as much as breaths a word about today to my Mama, I will personally make sure it's the last breath taken.

I will not have my Mama know even the slightest hint that young Ultra is fucking pregnant with my child. Out of wedlock: my Mama would kill me. Well no way.

The most awkward phonecall with her today, me ragged up by the news ( ( Read more... )

Sundays are fucking boring. I almost went to church this morning ( Read more... )

Barley is back, motherfuckers ( Read more... )

[Jul. 2nd, 2007 | 8:19 pm]

I thought I'd go shopping, yeah?, fill that fridge of mine. I got to the shop, gazed at all the food and there I'm stood thinking: what's the point?

So I got as much booze I could carry and returned to the pad, yeah? Half the beer's gone, the wine's been opened, the telly's on, it's a party at the Barley pad!

[Jul. ( Read more... )

I thought last night I'd tell you about my upgraded pad, yeah? ('cause it is well off the radar!), but I popped over to Naboo's gaff instead.

Well the best idea yet! Played in his balls, sucked on his hookah, got make-up'ed by Claire, got mind-raped, got blinded, had balls thrown on me by invisible hands: typical Na-bob party and shit ( Read more... )

Hey, twonks!

Well I've had a knocked-out holiday. There ain't nothing that gives you more appreciation of life than being almost-killed by Neonazi.

So I scrammed, yeah, got the tube to Heathrow and bought the first ticket I snatched: to Copenhagen. Nice one, I thought, visit Fristaden and ogle at the freaks. Turned out it's been torn down fucking ( Read more... )

You're not gonna believe this ( Read more... )

Dudes, we've got madmen running round. Fuck.

You know Neon, yeah? Don't fucking approach her, fucking mental bitch. And Susan's pissed off too, well off her rocks.

Neon broke into my flat, yeah, and broke stuff and shit. And then Susan turned up and went mad, started hurling books ( Read more... )

I'm sat here in my chair with the warm summer wind on my cheek and Susan sleeping in my bed with a smile on her pretty, little face. It makes me well Wordsworth ( Read more... )