J2_everafter fic: And the Violets are Blue-ing in the Green
Title: And the Violets are Blue-ing in the Green
By: weekend_exile
Disney Prompt: Kiki's Delivery Service, a j2_everafter
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 13k
Warnings: Fluff! And if you're not a fan of butterflies, this is not the fic for you.
Summary: It's not very easy, being a witch in training with no recognizable talent and an unfortunate tendency to attract insects. But Jared's optimistic. (The fact that his employer is stupidly perfect kinda helps too.)
Additional Notes: Title taken from -ahem- Winnie the Pooh by A A Milne. Heart eyes and rainbows sent in the direction of my super-supportive betas blackrabbit42 (who manages to convey 'You've gotta be kidding me with this shit' in the most polite way possible) and jonjokeat (who tells me I'm a good person no matter how much I suck at writing.) Thanks, lovelies.
Also: the mods at j2_everafter, whom I got into an unexpected exclamation-mark-off with: you're awesome.
"You could wrap tinsel around the handle."
Three pairs of eyes turn towards Kristen, containing withering expressions of varying degrees. She ignores them, waving her hands enthusiastically as she makes her point. "Come on. You're looking to make a statement, right? Make it sparkly!" She puts her hands on her hips, and the scary thing is, Jared doesn’t even know whether she’s kidding or not. “Nothing says Badass Witch, Bitch like some neon purple eyeliner, while we’re at it.”
Jared doesn't even know where to begin with that, so he turns to Chad for help.
Chad’s making a peculiar face at the tube of glitter Kris is waving around enthusiastically. She’s standing a little too close to Jared’s broom for his peace of mind, so Jared inches defensively to stand in the middle of Kris and his broom. Chad rolls his eyes.
As far as Jared knows, normal cats don’t even have facial expressions. It so figures that Jared’s the one to get the freak of nature with the bad attitude.
Finally, with an air of great wisdom, Chad says, "No fucking way am I riding a gay pride broomstick."
Jared sighs. Maybe it was for the best that Kristen doesn’t understand what Chad’s saying, anyway. She’d probably kick him and Jared out and chase them down the road with a rolling pin. Or a hacksaw. Possibly both.
"Maybe we could outfit Chaddykins with a nice pink tutu?" Kristen crows, sounding delighted. Jared checks off a ticky box mentally; yep, definitely doesn’t get what Chad’s saying.
Chad doesn’t let that stop him; he snarls viciously, distending his claws and ripping open the fluffy cushion he's perched on.
Kristen's eyes dance. "And maybe some cute little devil's horns, just to stick to the theme?"
"Kris," Jensen interjects, smiling a little. "They're fine as they are."
Kristen pouts, and Jared finds himself throwing Jensen a wildly grateful look, and then frowns a little. Was Jensen being nice to him? More importantly, was Jensen being nice to him?
But once Jared really thinks about it, Jensen hadn't actually been as openly hostile as Jared himself had; after that first black dress comment that Jared swore that he'd never forgive Jensen for, he'd actually helped Jared out, finding him a job and a place to stay. And really, Jensen had been justified to be a little thrown by Jared at first sight; Jared's been told he can be a tad overwhelming. And, of course, no one in this town had actually seen a witch before, let alone one as big and decidedly male as Jared was. So maybe Jensen really wasn't the asshole he came off as when they first met.
Huh.
He feels a little lightheaded as he mulls this over. A little tingle runs across his skin; it's pleasant, and warm, and makes Jared think of rainbows and sparkles and…
Huh, he thinks again.
"Oh boy," Kristen sighs. "Jared, have you been at the candy again?"
Jared blinks at her. "What? Why?"
"Incoming!" Chad yells, and jumps off his cushion.
Jensen barely manages to pull Jared down behind the counter before a swarm of butterflies drifts in through the windows furiously, bright and colorful and seemingly mindlessly violent as they circle the shop and knock over Jensen’s flowery ceramic containers. A few of the milder ones perch contentedly on Jensen's head and shoulders, and Jared watches him go cross-eyed trying to see them with more fondness than he’d like to admit.
Chad eyes the remaining butterflies after the initial siege is over. They flutter around, occasionally landing on the jars on the shelves, making Jensen’s already adorably quaint shop look too cute for words.
Chad pronounces a pointed meow. He usually doesn't bother.
"I have no idea what that was about." Jared says firmly. "Maybe it's butterfly reality TV. You know, which swarm can freak out the humans the most."
One of the butterflies on Jensen's head flies up indignantly when he laughs, and then it settles back on his hair again adoringly. Jensen's hair looks thick and soft, and Jared kinda envies the butterfly a little.
He shakes his head. Those thoughts are exactly the kind of thing that gets him in trouble. As he tries to avoid looking at Jensen's warm, smiling eyes, he catches sight of the clock and any remnants of affection for Jensen are dashed away as he freaks the fuck out.
"Late," he manages, in a raspy voice.
Their eyes widen. A few of the butterflies on Jensen’s head flap their wings in distress.
"You look fine." Kristen assures him, biting her lip nervously. "Um, just not very witchy. Maybe a little makeup..."
"No," Jensen says forcefully, and his butterflies manage to look threatening.
In spite of his slowly growing hysteria, Jared raises his eyebrows.
Jensen blushes a little under scrutiny. "I meant, Jared looks the part. Why give them the traditional witch, right? Jared's basically everything a witch should look like, in his own way." he blushes harder and shuffles his feet a little, not meeting Jared’s eye.
Jared and Chad exchange baffled glances. "Okay then," Jared says doubtfully.
Kristen smirks at him, dragging her eyes meaningfully towards Jensen before handing him his broom. Jared steadfastly ignores her, as well as the warmth curling lazily in his stomach, as he says his goodbyes and takes to mounts his broom.
The last thing he hears before he takes off is Kristen, sounding delighted. “Butterflies giving you trouble, Jen?”
“Fuck off,” Jensen mutters.
Once he's in the sky, Jared dares to look back and Jensen's standing outside the shop, haloed by a posse of butterflies and his eyes pure green. He waves at Jared, and Jared nearly gets knocked off his broom in his hurry to wave back.
“For fuck’s sakes.” Chad says disgustedly from somewhere behind him. “They don’t pay me enough for this shit.”
Jared sighs a little. He was beginning to suspect that he really was, hands down, the dumbest witch ever to fly a broom.
*
The client doesn’t seem very put off by Jared's non-witchy appearance. She smiles and flutters her eyelashes a lot, and by the time Jared's dropped off the package, his sense of balance has been re-challenged.
“Are you new here?” She asks. Jared’s busy keeping an eye on Chad, who seems taken with the girl’s pet poodle, so he doesn’t hear her at first.
She repeats the question, and he blushes brick red and stammers, “Yeah, I. I settled here a couple of weeks ago, your boyfriend was one of my first customers.”
She laughs a little, and that’s when Jared really focuses on her. She’s pretty and tiny and has long waves of dark hair, and eyes that light up like sparklers when she laughs. She has a very nice laugh, genuine and summery.
“He’s not my boyfriend!” She giggles, as Jared tries to remember her name. Something McCoy. Sophie? Sandy? Sonya? Jensen handles the paperwork, so Jared doesn’t really know much beyond the address and whether the package should be handled with care or not. “He’s my big brother. My birthday’s coming up, you know,” she says, leaning closer conspiratorially. “Maybe you’ll drop by again soon.”
She winks and throws in a little wave. Jared’s still a bit disoriented, ten minutes later.
*
When he comes back, Kristen's still trying to get rid of the rest of the butterflies, who now had drifted across the connecting doors into her shop, and Jensen's nowhere to be found. Jared decides to address the issue of why he looks around for Jensen before anyone else later, and settles on beaming at Kristen, who scowls blackly.
"What's got you so chipper?" she asks bitterly, as one of the butterflies nimbly avoids a sweep of her broom.
Jared decides to save lives first, and reluctantly wipes the grin off his face. He gestures towards the butterflies. "I think they like you." as she swipes harder with her broom, he adds, "Meaning, you shouldn't try quite so hard to kill them. It hurts their feelings."
A few strands of horrifyingly blonde hair escapes from her slipshod ponytail and fall onto her face when she flips him off, and she looks like a demented pixie. Where'd she even find a broom?
"Is that one of mine?" Jared asks, suspiciously eyeing the handle of her broom.
She rolls her eyes. "As if. Jensen wouldn't help me break into the attic. No, this used to belong to some dead former shop owner or the other."
Jared winces. He watches as Kristen makes a valid attempt to mutilate butterflies, and is about to head upstairs when Jensen comes in through the door connecting the two shops.
When he sees Jared, he stops and stares.
Jared blinks. "Um. Jensen?"
"Jared." Jensen says, evenly. "Do you know that there are a couple of bluebirds on your shoulder, looking like they're going to burst into song any moment?"
Jared had forgotten. "Oh, that's just JC and Justin. They seem to like it there?" it ends as a question, because Jensen's expression is a little off, and Jared wonders whether he's stepped over some kind of line. Jensen had seemed the very definition of chill up until now; maybe he would be heartbreakingly neurotic about Jared's two bluebirds.
Jensen notices Jared's change of track, and shakes his head quickly. "No, man, it's just that-" He gestures vaguely. "They seem kind of incredibly gay."
Jared perks up. "Don't they, though?" He strokes along the line of feathers down JC's neck and JC makes an approving chirping noise.
"Oh God." Kristen leans on her broom, looking ill. "I have the world's only gay pair of blue birds and a roomful of butterflies with a crush on my business partner. Remind me again how we got by before you came along, Jared."
Jared smirks. "You were mostly stuck trying to figure out why your lives were as dull as ditchwater. You love me for stirring things up." he makes his eyes go big and wide. "Can I keep them? Can I?"
Kristen sighs. "I suppose if I say no, I'll be called a homophobe and the butterflies will eat me." She rubs at her temples. "Christ, my life is weird."
"Uh-huh." Jared says brightly, ignoring the latter part of her comment.
"What's with the birds, anyway?" Jensen asks, watching Kristen storm out of the room with a small, affectionate smile. He then turns that smile towards Jared, and Jared's stomach does an interesting back flip.
Jared decides to chalk it up to the eventful day. "I just met this amazing girl," he says reverently, unable to keep from grinning goofily.
Jensen blinks rapidly, and his smile falters a little. "Oh." he clears his throat. "Um, at the McCoy’s' place?"
Jared nods vigorously. "She was pretty, she was funny, she was smart, and she seemed into me, I think."
Jensen mumbles something under his breath. It sounds a little like obviously, but Jared doesn't want to ask.
"Now I just have to figure out her name." he beams at Jensen, who rolls his eyes. "The universe will take care of the rest."
A corner of Jensen's mouth quirks up. "You're saying that the universe directly interferes in favor of your love life?"
"Damn straight." Jared says confidently. "You can expect meteor showers soon enough."
Justin sings a bar of something that sounds like Nirvana in agreement, and Jensen begins laughing.
Jared watches him, his grin so wide it's starting to ache, but he can’t stop. "I'm really kinda growing on you, aren't I?"
Jensen's laughter dies down to a few chuckles, but he's still smiling when he replies, "Yeah, you really are."
*
Jared's second ever delivery is pre-booked, and Jensen raises a skeptical eyebrow when he announces the location.
"I don't see what the big problem is,” Jared protests, when Kristen comes over and gives Jared another raised eyebrow to add to the tally. She and Jensen look eerily alike like that, and Jared almost gets distracted thinking about how beautiful their other relatives must be if these two were the candy-store owning outcasts. Almost. "it's not like I'll be walking."
Jensen snorts. It's not an attractive sound. "God forbid."
Kristen is more rational. "It's just that-" she says, gesturing around, "Well, they're ordering you to deliver food to the middle of nowhere, Jared. They could very well be ready to use you as a drug mule and use your broom for firewood."
Jared raises a skeptical eyebrow, and Jensen's arches even prettily. Jared's eyebrows go back down, defeated. "Or they could be having a picnic," he says reasonably.
Jensen snorts again, and Jared begins rethinking wanting to jump him. "Dude, you have no idea what those woods are like. No one in their right minds would have a picnic there."
"But I'm not having a picnic there," Jared explains painstakingly. "I'm just delivering."
Kristen groans. "I surrender. I am no match for your utter denseness. You're a level of stupid other levels of stupid aspire to be. You're-"
"Dumb, we know," Jensen says, smiling crookedly, and right on cue, Jared's knees are going weak and yeah , he still wants to hit that so fucking bad. "Just promise to call when you get there, 'kay? And if they slip the words drug mule in casual conversation, run like hell." then he amends, "Or, you know, take to the skies. Whatever floats your boat."
"Yes, Mom." Jared says, rolling his eyes, and ducks out of the way when Jensen pretends to shove him.
Kristen is watching them with an expression of pure disgust. "How are you two for real?"
"We ate a lot of Cheerios as children," Jensen supplies.
Kristen huffs, and Jared waves before taking off.
*
The Tucker family turns out to be as weird as Kris predicted, minus the drug mule thing. For one, they were all wearing identical bright yellow T-shirts and caps that read BEWARE: TUCKER FAMILY ON VACATION. Also, they fucking clapped when Jared landed, which rather than flatter him, managed to freak him out completely. They then proceeded to take a million different snapshots, posing with him and his broom and Chad alternatively. One Son of Tucker tries to ride his baby, which, no. Jared yanks his broom back and the kid starts crying. Jared flips him off behind his dad’s back. Chad manages to scratch one of the teenaged Tuckers, but all in all, it’s a loss for Team Jared.
By the time he was turning down their enthusiastic offers for him to stay and roast marshmallows - "or, burn the 'llows, as we call it," explains papa Tucker, much to the amusement of Hippie Tucker, who buries her head in his chest and laughs, and Jared's honestly scared then- Jared was thinking longingly of becoming a drug mule and getting the fuck away from there. Finally, politeness be damned, he flies away, leaving them waving up at him violently.
Jensen doesn't stop laughing for a full thirty minutes after Jared tells him.
*
Jensen's shop -The Quintessence of Spun Sugar, which was probably named when Jensen was smoking some really good shit- smells of melted sugar and icing, and looks a little bit like a drawing of a carnival by a toddler with a set of crayons with too many colors.
Needless to say, Jared loves the hell out of it.
Jensen doesn't let him take shifts there, though, because Jared had the bad judgment to squeal in joy when Jensen first mentioned he owned a candy store. Of course, if Jared had played his cards right back then, he probably would have been able to manipulate Jensen into signing the whole shop over to him, but he didn't know that.
He'd actually pegged Jensen for a gigantic douche the first time they met. Once Jared had swooped in on his broom to save Jensen from falling off his roof, Jensen had asked where Jared's black dress was and Jared had contemplated just letting him fall.
Of course after that, Jensen's brain had visibly kicked in, and he'd gone red, looked down and freaked the fuck out in the course of two seconds.
He began thanking and apologizing as soon as they’d landed, and Jared had eyed him regally until Jensen offered him a job.
Jared was a little nervous at that point about the whole unemployment thing. He'd been nearly two days into taking off on his own for his training, and even though he had picked a town, it wasn't much use without using a skill and finding a job.
Jensen had come up with the whole concept on the spot, pretty much. Jared's only recognizable talent was flying, and they needed a delivery service to get Kristen’s elaborate hampers on time. He'd been eloquent, pointing out pros and cons until Jared had agreed to try it out.
And that, really, is the whole problem, Jared thinks with a sigh. When Jensen isn't actively engaged in seeming like an asshole of epic degrees, he's a total sweetheart who stammers a lot. Jared's seen him give away so much free candy it's a miracle he's still in business, and whenever Jared brings back any souvenirs from his journeys, Jensen will bitch about it for hours before giving it a place of honor in his or Kristen's shop.
In conclusion, Jared thinks a little defensively, that he's totally justified in being a little stupidly in love with Jensen.
Jared makes up his mind to bring back something really gross from his next delivery, just to be vindictive.
*
"You brought me flowers," Jensen says, a little blankly.
Jared flushes. "They're ugly flowers." he says, lamely.
"Right," Jensen sounds doubtful. His butterflies are hovering over the bouquet of garish yellow flowers as if uncertain what to make of them. "Any particular reason, or did you just think, neon yellow reminds me of Jensen?"
Jared glares. "You sound like you like them. Oh God, you like them, don't you?"
"All your cunning plans, foiled again," Jensen says with a smirk. He snatches the flowers out of Jared's hands and holds them to his chest, fluttering his eyelashes. Jared scowls. "Oh Jared, I absolutely adore them!" He sings in a cheery falsetto.
"Fuck off," Jared tells him, settling on the chair next to Jensen's.
The only customers at the shop are a pair of kids in matching bright clothes. Jared thinks with a grimace that they're probably twins. Parents suck.
He peers through the connecting doors into Kristen's shop, and sure enough, it looks completely deserted and Kris is reading a magazine at the counter. The shop'll be flooded in about an hour, so Jared knows Kristen is just enjoying the downtime.
Jensen, though, is a different story. His shop is always flooded with kids.
"What did you do, murder a kitten in public? Shouldn’t this place be crawling with kids right now?"
Jensen looks up from his book and oh, he's wearing his glasses. Jared kind of wants to reach out and touch.
When he registers Jared's question, Jensen rolls his eyes. "Yep. Right next to the community center."
"What have I told you about sacrificing kittens in public, Jensen?" Jared asks with a groan. "It's terrible for our rep. Keep it behind closed doors, for crying out loud."
"I'll keep that in mind," Jensen says dryly.
Jared looks at him affectionately. "You'll learn yet, grasshopper."
Even before he's done speaking, a tiny green insect prances into view on the counter.
Jared and Jensen stare down at it. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Jensen says, incredulously.
The insect chirps.
"Is that a...grasshopper?" Jared asks. He's feeling kinda light-headed.
"Dude, did you just create a grasshopper from the power of your brain?" Jensen asks, peering down at it. Before Jared can protest, he says, "Oh. No you didn't. This one's a mantis."
"And that makes everything so much better?" Jared demands. "We'll be overrun with animals in a month!"
"Don't listen to him, he's just bitter he's not as tiny and cute as you," Jensen croons to the mantis, scooping it up in his hands. "And Jared, it's kinda your fault these critters are coming in. We sure as hell didn't have a butterfly problem before you turned up."
Jared slumps. "Sorry."
"Hey, hey." Jensen laughs when Jared looks up at him hopefully. "Dude, no need to hit me with the puppy eyes. I don't really mind." He tries to look at the mantis, who has managed to clamber on to his shoulder and is hugging his neck in delight. "And they all seem to like me better than you. That helps."
Jared pouts. "Yeah, I bet it does."
"How's that work, anyway?" Jensen asks curiously as one of the butterflies drifting around his shop comes over to investigate. "Do all witches magically attract insects, or is that your extra special witchy power?"
Jared gives him an unimpressed look. "Jensen, you're getting us confused with those sparkly vampires from Twilight again."
"What vampires? I don't see any vampires," Jensen says dismissively, and Jared groans and hits his head on the table for emphasis. Jensen seems unfazed. "So? Do all the insects in the world have an assigned witch to stalk?"
"No,” Jared says, his face mashed against the counter. he looks up and shrugs. "They've been following me around all my life, but they never bothered to stick around this long." he nods at the posse of butterflies who are now inspecting the mantis. "That one's on you."
Jensen hums. "I am pretty irresistible."
"Just leave it, dude," Jared advises.
Jensen laughs. He watches as the mantis climbs enthusiastically down to his hand, getting tangled up in the sleeve of Jensen’s T-shirt on the way.
"Why here?" Jensen asks, still looking at his newest admirer.
"Hmm?" Jared's busy admiring the gold of Jensen's hair. He wonders if his entire life is an illusion and he's really a mantis that Jensen's got wrapped around his pinky finger, too. It isn't as upsetting as it probably should have been.
"Why'd you settle in this town?" Jensen asks, as the mantis begins playing with his knuckles. "I mean, witches can take their pick, right? You guys can train in any town you choose, but this one doesn't have a lot going on for it."
Jared shrugs. Jensen's looking right at him, eyes green and intent and stupidly beautiful. "I like the ocean," he says, truthfully.
Jensen smiles a little. It isn't his usual smirk, but a soft, private one like this struck a chord in him. "Don't blame ya," he says, looking like a commercial for contentment. Jared finds himself leaning in before he catches himself and settles firmly back in his chair.
Then, Jensen's eyes narrow. "But Jared, you've gotta know this isn't the only town near the ocean. And it sure as hell isn't the biggest."
"Jensen, Jensen, Jensen," Jared says in mock reproval. "When will you realize that size isn't everything?"
Jensen busts out laughing at that, head thrown back and eyes crinkled at the corners. Jared watches him fondly, feeling more like a mantis than ever.
He can't really tell Jensen the real reason he picked this town out of the sprinkle of them along the ocean. Jensen's right in thinking Jared's a city boy; this one's a little smaller than he's used to.
But when he dropped by that first day to check it out, there had been a gorgeous man balanced precariously on a roof, and when gravity kicked in, Jared simply had to swerve a little in his path to catch the man before he fell to his death. That man turned out to be a douche and then turned out to be an okay guy and then became Jared's best friend.
Jensen.
Which would all be fine, really, if Jared had been a little less hopelessly in love with Jensen.
*
When Jared traipses in to Spun Sugar that afternoon after an epic delivery run -nine houses in two hours, beat that, FedEx- Kristen's at the counter, trying to make JC and Justin rap.
"I don't think they work that way," Jared tells her, and she starts and looks at him guiltily.
"I don't want them to be stonewalled into a niche, is all." she says, but looks uncertain. "But they do seem to like just sticking to High School Musical. No offense, Jared, but your birds are kinda dumb."
"They're not my birds," Jared says automatically, leaning his broom against Jensen's ridiculously kooky coat hanger.
"Right, they're the symbols of your legendary gay crush on Jensen." Kristen pretends to yawn, and Jared glares. She rolls her eyes. "What? If you want me to stop, just grow a pair and ask him out."
Jared glares even harder. Maybe if he does it right, her hair will set on fire or something. He could hope. "For the last time. I am not asking the guy I work for out." and even if I did, he has better offers.
She smirks, as if she heard the afterthought. "Well, technically, you work for the entire establishment of Quintessence of Spun Sugar, which means that I'm kind of your boss, too."
"You're making it worse," Jared groans, slumping on to his chair. "And while we're at it, who came up with that name, anyway?"
She looks shifty. "It's a very high-brow name. Elegant, I should think."
Jared snorts ungracefully. "You wish, Bell."
She sighs. "Well, in our defense, we were in college and we were really drunk." she looks at the door, and Jared cranes his neck to see. "Tell you what, that's a story that Jensen should be telling. Let him do the honors."
Jensen looks adorably apprehensive as he comes into the shop, trailed by three butterflies. "Which story are we talking about, here?"
"Genesis, of course." Kristen says, jumping lightly off her stool. "How the shop came to be the kickass establishment that it is."
"Oh." Jensen's expression goes blank, but not before his eyes dart very quickly to Jared's, and a flicker of something Jared's pretty sure was nervousness passes through them. "Um, there isn't much to tell."
Kristen shepherds him to his usual place behind the counter and makes him sit so that he's facing Jared. "Of course there isn't," she says, with an unconvincingly reassuring expression. "-But Jared needs to hear it. It's his right as delivery boy for Quintessence." when Jensen and Jared both open their mouths to speak, she looks at her watch and pretends to gasp. "Well, look at the time. I'm nearly late for book club. Ta," she sings, and all but sprints for the door.
Jared stares after her as she slips out with a final, cheery wave. "How can someone so tiny be so evil?"
Jensen huffs out a laugh. "Not enough hugs as a little girl, I guess. She was a piece of work even back then."
"I can imagine." In fact, Jared sort of likes imagining it; Kristen running off and getting into trouble, hair flying everywhere and laughing madly, dragging a shy, but obedient Jensen with her. It makes his heart twinge a little.
"This shop used to be closed, you know." Jensen says quietly, and Jared tries not to tense. "For a really long time. People in this town didn't have time for candy, I guess."
Jared tries not to look incredulous, but isn't very successful, judging from Jensen's little laugh.
"We're kind of really religious here, Jay," and Jared likes that better, if only because Jensen called him Jay. "As long as we had Sunday mass, everything was fine."
Jared tries to fit that into his view of the town. The only reason he'd decided to settle here was because it seemed so laidback and easygoing. No overt religious symbols and whatnot all over the place.
Jensen smiles, the barest flicker of a smile. "And then- when we were in college- my uncle died, and left me everything he owned."
"Oh.- Jared is beginning to see where this is going, and his eyes widen until they feel too big for his face. "Oh."
Jensen smiles another faint, not-quite smile. "Yeah."
"You bought the shop," Jared says in wonder. "You bought it and opened it. How old were you?"
Jensen chews on the inside of his cheek. "Um, twenty-two, I think."
Jared stares. "So you're telling me that you built this business from scratch...in two years?"
"One," Jensen corrects. He's blushing a little. "I, uh, had to finish college."
Jared sighs. "That's...kind of amazing, Jensen."
Jensen looks at him sharply, and seeing Jared stare, he blushes even harder. "We had it easy," he begins, but Jared interrupts.
"You opened a candy shop when the townsfolk were forming angry mobs to shut you down." A twitch in Jensen’s jaw surprises Jared; he didn't expect to be accurate on that one. A sudden flare of heat goes through his stomach. "Fuck Superman, I've got a new hero."
Jensen chuckles. A faint blush still lingers on his cheeks, and he looks adorably flustered. Jared really, really wants to kiss him. "You realize that you're closer to being a superhero than anyone else, right?"
Jared snorts. "Right, the whizzing through the sky thing. Real superhero material."
Jensen gives him a look. "Jared, you save kittens from the tops of trees. That makes you like, seven different kinds of superhero."
"It was just that once," Jared says, instead of saying really? in an awestruck tone. "-And it wasn't in any real danger, its Mom was badass."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "But you saved her," he says. His lips twitch. "Jared Padalecki: your local kitten savior on a broom."
"Shut up."
"So, what about you?" Jensen asks, settling back in his chair. The tension in his body has dissolved, and he looks relaxed and happy. Jared still wants to kiss him. It's really unfair. "What's your big story?"
Jared shrugs. "The usual. My Mom's a witch, so I didn't exactly have to figure it out as I went, like most witches do. I apprenticed under her and learned absolutely nothing after I graduated high school, and like every other witch on the planet, I left home when I was twenty-one to find a town to settle down in. Nothing special, really."
Jensen laughs outright at that one. "Sorry." he manages, when Jared glares. "It's just that- I'd really love to know what qualifies as special in your world, Jared."
Jared pretends to think. "Fire breathing ponies," he says at last, decidedly, and Jensen laughs again, and manages to bat Jared’s hand away from the jar he’s got his hand down at the same time.
“If you steal more cookies, I’m gonna shove this Tootsie Pop up your ass,” Jensen says, still smiling a little.
Jared drops the cookie immediately. “You’re so violent,” he complains bitterly. Ýou shouldn’t be allowed near children.”
“Ah, but then how will I get ingredients for my special child-flavored chocolates?” Jensen asks, in a terrible European accent.
Jared eyes him doubtfully. “You’re really weird.”
“It’s been said.” Jensen examines his nails, nonchalant.
“Not enough times, apparently.”
“Hey, you have dumb hair and do you hear me going on about it?”
*
In theory, witches have it easy.
Growing up like a regular kid until they come of age at twenty one, and then leaving home to find a town to settle down in and hone their talents.
It would be, Jared muses as he trudges back to the shop, broom in hand, much easier if someone actually sent round a memo telling him what his talent actually was. His mother was known throughout the state as a potioneer, and she had passed it on to Jared's sister, Meg. Jared had been optimistic that he had inherited it as well, until his mother told him firmly that his talents lay elsewhere when he made Chad turn purple with fetching green polka dots by accident three times in a row while trying to make a sleeping draught.
As far as he knows, his special talent is attracting weird insects whenever he's particularly happy. That, and being able to consume massive amounts of candy, which Jensen told him in no uncertain terms that wasn't a talent at all and he should cut it out before Jensen went out of business.
So Jared doesn't actually know what his talent is, let alone make it into a craft. He'd tried his hand at tarot reading (and reluctantly came off it when he predicted death for seven people in a row within the month) and astrology (Jared was always distracted by how pretty the stars were) but nothing stuck. He was a talentless witch.
"Uh-oh," Jensen says, as Jared storms into the room, scowling blackly. "What now?"
Jared takes no notice of his mock apprehension. "I'm a pathetic failure of a witch. I should probably go become a monk or something on a hill and offer wisdom to delusional young witches."
Jensen snorts. "But then, where will you get your candy from?" he asks, batting his eyelashes innocently.
Jared thinks about that. "I'll exchange wisdom for Twizzlers."
"That sounds like a bad bargain." Jensen says thoughtfully. "The kind of wisdom you're talking about is worth a Twix bar, I think."
"Oh. Okay." Jared thinks about this for a minute, mentally scanning the area for any convenient hills.
"What is this about, by the way?" Jensen nudges a bowl of gummy worms in Jared’s direction as he slumps onto his stool in despair. "Are you seriously trying to find yourself? Aren't you a little too old for that?"
Jared flips him off, stuffing his mouth full. "No talent," he tells Jensen, who looks faintly disgusted by the amount of candy Jared has in his mouth. "Failure as a witch."
"But you have a job," Jensen says, confused. "Isn't that the whole point of having a talent?"
Jared gives him a withering look. "Jensen, I fly around on a broom for a living. Not exactly groundbreaking. I've heard of witches who can walk on fucking water."
"What do they do for a living?" Jensen asks curiously. "Scare the shit out of ducks?"
Jared glares.
Jensen holds his hands up placatingly. "Okay, okay. You're having an existential crisis because you think that flying isn't as badass as walking on water."
Jared inhales, pained. "Jensen," he says slowly, deliberately, "all witches can fly."
"So?" Jensen seems unfazed. "I bet all of them aren't as amazing at it as you are." His eyes widen when he realizes what he'd said, and he blushes.
Jared smirks, and finds that he actually feels a little better. "Amazing, huh?"
Jensen shoves him. "Shut up."
Jared doesn't.
*
A couple comes out of the shop the next day as Jared's coming in, and they smile and wave cheerfully at him. Jared waves back, and goes inside.
Jensen's at the counter, talking to JC and Justin. Chad gives them all a general disdainful look, and stalks off towards the attic.
"Evening, stranger," Jared says, and Jensen starts, and looks up, looking surprised.
Jared smirks. "Told you we should get a bell for that door."
Jensen shakes his head firmly.
Jared sticks out his tongue. "Suit yourself."
Jensen looks at him for a minute, looking like he doesn't hear a word Jared's saying, obviously thinking something over. Jared waits him out.
"Did you see the display?"
Jared blinks at him. "Uh- what?"
Jensen gestures behind him and Jared turns around, curious.
At first he doesn't even notice it. His eyes take in the logo of the shop on the window -a swirly, neon-colored design that has Kristen written all over it- to the poster advertising the Spring Fair to the sign hanging above it.
Then he frowns. "Jensen, what's that sign?"
Jensen doesn't answer. Jared turns his head to raise his eyebrows at him, and Jensen just smiles a little.
Jared sighs, and goes outside. He holds the door open for Jensen to pass, and Jensen doesn't even make a lewd comment about being a gentleman. He's nervous.
Jared soon finds out why.
Affixed right next to the Quintessence logo is a glass sign with the words JARED'S DELIVERY SERVICES clearly emblazoned across it.
Jared gapes.
“Jensen,” he says, in a distant voice that makes him sound bizarrely like Meg. “Jensen, what is that?”
Jensen, once Jared looks at him, is blushing so furiously his freckles stand out. “You did say that this was what you wanted to do,” he says, and he sounds slightly defensive and a lot nervous. “I thought I’d…help.”
Jared just stares at him.
Jensen bites his lip. “Look, I’ll take it down. It’s not a big deal, just an idea. It’s cool.”
He moves towards it, and Jared’s hand surprises them both by shooting out to grab his wrist.
Jensen looks up at him, lips parted in surprise, and all of Jared’s vocabulary shimmers out of existence. His mind begins an unhelpful chant of kisshimkisshimkisshim.
“I love it,” Jared says, and Jensen blinks at him. He lets go of Jensen’s wrist very quickly.
Jensen looks a bit disoriented, blinking around owlishly. He looks at Jared for a moment before looking away. “Yeah?” he asks.
Jared nods, trying not to kick himself too visibly. “Uh-huh.”
Jensen still looks unguarded, almost disappointed, and Jared can’t think why. “Alrighty then.”
*
It can’t be later than eight am, and Jared feels like death. Yet-
“Room service!" Jensen calls out with unnecessary enthusiasm from outside.
Jared groans and burrows deeper under the covers. "Go away!" he yells back. His voice comes out in a pathetic little whine and Chad spares him a condescending look.
"But I have soup," Jensen wheedles. "Kris made it extra special for you."
"Oh, I bet you're just loving this, aren't you?" Jared has to catch his breath after that. Sarcasm was tiring. He'd have to remember that next time he was in his deathbed.
"Little bit, yeah."
Jared bites his lip, but there's the sound of a key turning in the lock, and he looks at Chad, panicked. “Quick, how do I look?”
“Gay.” Chad says, licking a paw. “Completely and incontrovertibly gay.”
“Not vulnerable and fragile?” Jared whispers hopefully as the doorknob turns.
Chad snorts. “You look like the Jolly Green Giant after he got hit by an eighteen-wheeler. In a rainstorm.”
Jensen strolls in before Jared has time to reply, balancing a tray in his hands. Jared eyes him mistrustfully.
"What happened, anyway?" Jensen asks, setting the tray down a little violently on the nightstand and cocking an eyebrow at Jared.
Jared sniffles a little. "Allergies," he says, in as gruff a voice as he can manage. He was being manful about this, dammit.
Jensen looks marginally more sympathetic. "Yeah? That sucks." he looks around, and Chad gives him the stink eye. Grimacing, Jensen looks back at Jared. "Was it the dandelions?"
Jared flushes a little, and Jensen's lips twitch. "I’m not gonna tell you if you're laughing at me already." Jared whines.
Jensen holds up in hands in surrender. "No laughing. And for the record, you're acting like a girl. A girl just barely out of drama class in high school. Possibly with braids."
"You're acting like a douche," Jared mutters under his breath vindictively.
Jensen makes a stabbing motion into his chest. "You're killing me, Jay. No need to be cruel."
"Did you come up here just to be an asshole at me?" Jared asks snottily.
Jensen shrugs. "Pretty much," he drags the only chair over and sits on it, leaning towards Jared. His green eyes are alight with mischief, but warmed by actual concern. "Just tell me what it was."
Jared looks away from him, biting his lip. "Uh." he says. "Broom polish."
for a moment, Jensen says nothing. Jared's forced to look back, and when he does, Jensen looks blank. "What?"
Jared drags his covers up further and squirms on the bed a little. "You know, broom polish. For the handle. My Mom makes it, it's supposed to be good for stability and lightness and that sort of thing."
"Let me get this straight," Jensen says, slowly. His eyes are doing that slowly lighting up thing again, fucking sparkling now. Jared kinda wants to sock him. And kiss him. Maybe the latter before the former, because Jensen doesn't really strike him as the masochistic ttype.
"You're allergic to super-special witch's broom polish." Jensen makes it sound special and exotic. Of course, that's when he begins laughing outright. "You're a terrible witch."
Jared glares. "You know you completely lost any points you got when you brought me soup, right?"
Jensen doesn't stop laughing. "Are you, like, afraid of heights, too?" he asks innocently. When he sees Jared's expression, he sobers up a little. "I'm sorry, that was too easy to resist. I'll get out of your hair now." he snorts a little, still amused, and Jared glares at his back all the way to the door. Once there, he pauses.
Jared groans, "What?"
Jensen turns back, holds up a finger. "Um. You'll see."
Jared just looks at him blankly, and a little nervously. Even Chad looks involved, which means he's ready to bolt if shit got ugly.
Jared tries to think happy thoughts, like how Jensen probably wouldn't throw a knife at him ot something. Jensen has no reason to really want Jared dead. Maybe Jared wasn't so subtle about the staring thing. Oh God, he always knew his tendency to stare at pretty things was going to come back and bite him in the ass.
Instead, Jensen whistles and Jared gets even more confused.
And then JC and Justin land on Jared's windowsill. They look inquiringly at Jensen, and when he does a weird hand gesture like he was feeling up a giraffe, they begin singing.
"Jensen," Jared says a little doubtfully, "why are there a couple of birds singing Call Me Maybe on my windowsill?"
Jensen, when Jared looks at him, has blushed bright red. He rubs the back of his neck, not meeting Jared's eyes. "Thought it might cheer you up. Since, you know, you think you're dying and all."
Jared says, automatically, "I didn't think I was dying."
Jensen arches an eyebrow. Jared hates that eyebrow so, so much. "Dude, your exact words to me were tell my Momma I loved her and remember to never, ever give up on love."
Jared makes a dismissive gesture. "Painkillers talking. What about Carly Rae Jepsen?"
Jensen blushes again, on top of the fading one from before. He looks adorably flustered, and a little like he wants to run for the hills. "It was the easiest to train them to sing."
The two birds go on singing happily, and the butterflies who had now taken up permanent residence in Jensen's hair flutter their wings in tune. It's weirdly like Jensen made his own performance group from his entourage of gay little woodland creatures. It's kind of incredibly awesome.
"You're like the Pied Piper of Hamlin," Jared realizes. "Only with fluffy critters of dubious sexual orientation instead of, you know, kids."
“You’re the one who makes them show up in the first place,” Jensen points out, rolling his eyes. He does that a lot, Jared’s noticed. "And you're welcome."
“So we’re like a two-man Pied Piper of Hamlin,” Jared muses. “We’re like the fiendish attractiveness of the Pied Piper, but in two separate men.”
“That’s all I’ve ever dreamed of, tell me more,” Jensen deadpans.
"No no, let me get this straight," Jared says, beginning to grin. "You trained your gay for each other birds to sing...just to make me feel better?"
Jensen glares. Hard. "Fuck you, Padalecki."
Jared grins wider. "You like me."
Jensen groans and says, "Oh my God," to the room in general, but Jared doesn't let that stop him.
"Are we going to, like, exchange promise rings and swear to be true to each other forever and ever?" Jared makes his eyes go all wide and earnest. "And maybe...one day...maybe we could hug?"
"You're an asshole," Jensen tells him. "See if I do anything nice for you ever again."
"Never, ever give up on love, Jensen!" Jared calls as Jensen steps outside. Jensen makes a face and flips him off. Jared blows him a kiss and Jensen mimics shooting it.
Jared's grinning like a lunatic by the time Jensen shuts the door behind him and leaves.
There's a very, very significant silence. At least, Chad says nothing and Jared says nothing and the birds start on the chorus again.
"So," Chad says, springing from his chair on to the covers. He eyes Jared speculatively. "You seem to have recovered."
"Fuck off," Jared says, turning away to hide his blush.
"Yeah, not gonna happen," Chad says, and settles down firmly on one of Jared's ankles. Jared has a bad feeling about this that has nothing to do with the residual nausea from the broom polish. "Gay lovebirds does it for you, then?"
Jared makes a rude gesture and Chad's claws dig into his leg. Jared yelps, and glares. Chad looks unaffected.
"Because I was thinking, that was really, embarrassingly gay." Chad says, digging his claws in conversationally. "Maybe it was just me."
"How did you even pass the black cat's test?" Jared asks suspiciously. "You're a terrible assistant. Unless..." his eyes widen. "Oh my God, there isn't a test for black cats, is there?"
Chad purrs and licks a paw. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Jared flails a little. "You mean I've been going around all this time with an unqualified black cat?"
"Okay, first of all," Chad claws him again, "there isn't a test for black cats, sheesh. That was your mother trying to make you feel special, and can you blame her, really? You don't exactly have a lot going on for you."
Jared attempts to kick him off, but Chad holds on firmly.
"Second of all," Chad continues, "your stupid schoolgirl crush on Jensen is getting on my nerves."
Jared slumps on to the bed. Even the birds stop singing, which Jared feels kind of sorry about, because those birds carry a tune like nobody’s business. Jensen really seemed to know his shit.
"Yeah, I know," Jared says to the ceiling.
"So, any plans?" Chad asks, cutting rudely through Jared’s brooding.
"For what?"
Chad rolls his eyes. Jared can hear him do it. "For getting Jensen to have fluffy gay sex with you on a rainbow!" he says, like this is obvious.
Jared raises his eyebrows. "You're getting me confused with unicorns again."
Chad swipes a claw through Jared's ankle, and it fucking hurts. Jared is making a complaint to the Royal Black Cats Society. Unless...
Jared really doesn’t feel like having any more illusions dragged from under his feet today, so he says, "It's no use. Jensen doesn't like me that way."
"Oh Christ, my ears are bleeding," Chad moans. "Somebody make him stop."
Jared kicks a little, but he's chuckling. "Okay, let me phrase that better. Jensen doesn't seem into the whole dating an employee thing. Happy?"
"You make my life complete," Chad says dryly. Jared doesn't even like cats, he has no idea why he lets Chad stick around. "And what the fuck are you going on about? It's not like Jensen's your boss anymore.”
Jared shrugs. “I just-“ He gestures, nearly knocking the soup off the nightstand. “He- he brought me soup, man.”
Chad looks disgusted. Jared doesn’t really blame him.
*
Onwards
By: weekend_exile
Disney Prompt: Kiki's Delivery Service, a j2_everafter
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 13k
Warnings: Fluff! And if you're not a fan of butterflies, this is not the fic for you.
Summary: It's not very easy, being a witch in training with no recognizable talent and an unfortunate tendency to attract insects. But Jared's optimistic. (The fact that his employer is stupidly perfect kinda helps too.)
Additional Notes: Title taken from -ahem- Winnie the Pooh by A A Milne. Heart eyes and rainbows sent in the direction of my super-supportive betas blackrabbit42 (who manages to convey 'You've gotta be kidding me with this shit' in the most polite way possible) and jonjokeat (who tells me I'm a good person no matter how much I suck at writing.) Thanks, lovelies.
Also: the mods at j2_everafter, whom I got into an unexpected exclamation-mark-off with: you're awesome.
"You could wrap tinsel around the handle."
Three pairs of eyes turn towards Kristen, containing withering expressions of varying degrees. She ignores them, waving her hands enthusiastically as she makes her point. "Come on. You're looking to make a statement, right? Make it sparkly!" She puts her hands on her hips, and the scary thing is, Jared doesn’t even know whether she’s kidding or not. “Nothing says Badass Witch, Bitch like some neon purple eyeliner, while we’re at it.”
Jared doesn't even know where to begin with that, so he turns to Chad for help.
Chad’s making a peculiar face at the tube of glitter Kris is waving around enthusiastically. She’s standing a little too close to Jared’s broom for his peace of mind, so Jared inches defensively to stand in the middle of Kris and his broom. Chad rolls his eyes.
As far as Jared knows, normal cats don’t even have facial expressions. It so figures that Jared’s the one to get the freak of nature with the bad attitude.
Finally, with an air of great wisdom, Chad says, "No fucking way am I riding a gay pride broomstick."
Jared sighs. Maybe it was for the best that Kristen doesn’t understand what Chad’s saying, anyway. She’d probably kick him and Jared out and chase them down the road with a rolling pin. Or a hacksaw. Possibly both.
"Maybe we could outfit Chaddykins with a nice pink tutu?" Kristen crows, sounding delighted. Jared checks off a ticky box mentally; yep, definitely doesn’t get what Chad’s saying.
Chad doesn’t let that stop him; he snarls viciously, distending his claws and ripping open the fluffy cushion he's perched on.
Kristen's eyes dance. "And maybe some cute little devil's horns, just to stick to the theme?"
"Kris," Jensen interjects, smiling a little. "They're fine as they are."
Kristen pouts, and Jared finds himself throwing Jensen a wildly grateful look, and then frowns a little. Was Jensen being nice to him? More importantly, was Jensen being nice to him?
But once Jared really thinks about it, Jensen hadn't actually been as openly hostile as Jared himself had; after that first black dress comment that Jared swore that he'd never forgive Jensen for, he'd actually helped Jared out, finding him a job and a place to stay. And really, Jensen had been justified to be a little thrown by Jared at first sight; Jared's been told he can be a tad overwhelming. And, of course, no one in this town had actually seen a witch before, let alone one as big and decidedly male as Jared was. So maybe Jensen really wasn't the asshole he came off as when they first met.
Huh.
He feels a little lightheaded as he mulls this over. A little tingle runs across his skin; it's pleasant, and warm, and makes Jared think of rainbows and sparkles and…
Huh, he thinks again.
"Oh boy," Kristen sighs. "Jared, have you been at the candy again?"
Jared blinks at her. "What? Why?"
"Incoming!" Chad yells, and jumps off his cushion.
Jensen barely manages to pull Jared down behind the counter before a swarm of butterflies drifts in through the windows furiously, bright and colorful and seemingly mindlessly violent as they circle the shop and knock over Jensen’s flowery ceramic containers. A few of the milder ones perch contentedly on Jensen's head and shoulders, and Jared watches him go cross-eyed trying to see them with more fondness than he’d like to admit.
Chad eyes the remaining butterflies after the initial siege is over. They flutter around, occasionally landing on the jars on the shelves, making Jensen’s already adorably quaint shop look too cute for words.
Chad pronounces a pointed meow. He usually doesn't bother.
"I have no idea what that was about." Jared says firmly. "Maybe it's butterfly reality TV. You know, which swarm can freak out the humans the most."
One of the butterflies on Jensen's head flies up indignantly when he laughs, and then it settles back on his hair again adoringly. Jensen's hair looks thick and soft, and Jared kinda envies the butterfly a little.
He shakes his head. Those thoughts are exactly the kind of thing that gets him in trouble. As he tries to avoid looking at Jensen's warm, smiling eyes, he catches sight of the clock and any remnants of affection for Jensen are dashed away as he freaks the fuck out.
"Late," he manages, in a raspy voice.
Their eyes widen. A few of the butterflies on Jensen’s head flap their wings in distress.
"You look fine." Kristen assures him, biting her lip nervously. "Um, just not very witchy. Maybe a little makeup..."
"No," Jensen says forcefully, and his butterflies manage to look threatening.
In spite of his slowly growing hysteria, Jared raises his eyebrows.
Jensen blushes a little under scrutiny. "I meant, Jared looks the part. Why give them the traditional witch, right? Jared's basically everything a witch should look like, in his own way." he blushes harder and shuffles his feet a little, not meeting Jared’s eye.
Jared and Chad exchange baffled glances. "Okay then," Jared says doubtfully.
Kristen smirks at him, dragging her eyes meaningfully towards Jensen before handing him his broom. Jared steadfastly ignores her, as well as the warmth curling lazily in his stomach, as he says his goodbyes and takes to mounts his broom.
The last thing he hears before he takes off is Kristen, sounding delighted. “Butterflies giving you trouble, Jen?”
“Fuck off,” Jensen mutters.
Once he's in the sky, Jared dares to look back and Jensen's standing outside the shop, haloed by a posse of butterflies and his eyes pure green. He waves at Jared, and Jared nearly gets knocked off his broom in his hurry to wave back.
“For fuck’s sakes.” Chad says disgustedly from somewhere behind him. “They don’t pay me enough for this shit.”
Jared sighs a little. He was beginning to suspect that he really was, hands down, the dumbest witch ever to fly a broom.
*
The client doesn’t seem very put off by Jared's non-witchy appearance. She smiles and flutters her eyelashes a lot, and by the time Jared's dropped off the package, his sense of balance has been re-challenged.
“Are you new here?” She asks. Jared’s busy keeping an eye on Chad, who seems taken with the girl’s pet poodle, so he doesn’t hear her at first.
She repeats the question, and he blushes brick red and stammers, “Yeah, I. I settled here a couple of weeks ago, your boyfriend was one of my first customers.”
She laughs a little, and that’s when Jared really focuses on her. She’s pretty and tiny and has long waves of dark hair, and eyes that light up like sparklers when she laughs. She has a very nice laugh, genuine and summery.
“He’s not my boyfriend!” She giggles, as Jared tries to remember her name. Something McCoy. Sophie? Sandy? Sonya? Jensen handles the paperwork, so Jared doesn’t really know much beyond the address and whether the package should be handled with care or not. “He’s my big brother. My birthday’s coming up, you know,” she says, leaning closer conspiratorially. “Maybe you’ll drop by again soon.”
She winks and throws in a little wave. Jared’s still a bit disoriented, ten minutes later.
*
When he comes back, Kristen's still trying to get rid of the rest of the butterflies, who now had drifted across the connecting doors into her shop, and Jensen's nowhere to be found. Jared decides to address the issue of why he looks around for Jensen before anyone else later, and settles on beaming at Kristen, who scowls blackly.
"What's got you so chipper?" she asks bitterly, as one of the butterflies nimbly avoids a sweep of her broom.
Jared decides to save lives first, and reluctantly wipes the grin off his face. He gestures towards the butterflies. "I think they like you." as she swipes harder with her broom, he adds, "Meaning, you shouldn't try quite so hard to kill them. It hurts their feelings."
A few strands of horrifyingly blonde hair escapes from her slipshod ponytail and fall onto her face when she flips him off, and she looks like a demented pixie. Where'd she even find a broom?
"Is that one of mine?" Jared asks, suspiciously eyeing the handle of her broom.
She rolls her eyes. "As if. Jensen wouldn't help me break into the attic. No, this used to belong to some dead former shop owner or the other."
Jared winces. He watches as Kristen makes a valid attempt to mutilate butterflies, and is about to head upstairs when Jensen comes in through the door connecting the two shops.
When he sees Jared, he stops and stares.
Jared blinks. "Um. Jensen?"
"Jared." Jensen says, evenly. "Do you know that there are a couple of bluebirds on your shoulder, looking like they're going to burst into song any moment?"
Jared had forgotten. "Oh, that's just JC and Justin. They seem to like it there?" it ends as a question, because Jensen's expression is a little off, and Jared wonders whether he's stepped over some kind of line. Jensen had seemed the very definition of chill up until now; maybe he would be heartbreakingly neurotic about Jared's two bluebirds.
Jensen notices Jared's change of track, and shakes his head quickly. "No, man, it's just that-" He gestures vaguely. "They seem kind of incredibly gay."
Jared perks up. "Don't they, though?" He strokes along the line of feathers down JC's neck and JC makes an approving chirping noise.
"Oh God." Kristen leans on her broom, looking ill. "I have the world's only gay pair of blue birds and a roomful of butterflies with a crush on my business partner. Remind me again how we got by before you came along, Jared."
Jared smirks. "You were mostly stuck trying to figure out why your lives were as dull as ditchwater. You love me for stirring things up." he makes his eyes go big and wide. "Can I keep them? Can I?"
Kristen sighs. "I suppose if I say no, I'll be called a homophobe and the butterflies will eat me." She rubs at her temples. "Christ, my life is weird."
"Uh-huh." Jared says brightly, ignoring the latter part of her comment.
"What's with the birds, anyway?" Jensen asks, watching Kristen storm out of the room with a small, affectionate smile. He then turns that smile towards Jared, and Jared's stomach does an interesting back flip.
Jared decides to chalk it up to the eventful day. "I just met this amazing girl," he says reverently, unable to keep from grinning goofily.
Jensen blinks rapidly, and his smile falters a little. "Oh." he clears his throat. "Um, at the McCoy’s' place?"
Jared nods vigorously. "She was pretty, she was funny, she was smart, and she seemed into me, I think."
Jensen mumbles something under his breath. It sounds a little like obviously, but Jared doesn't want to ask.
"Now I just have to figure out her name." he beams at Jensen, who rolls his eyes. "The universe will take care of the rest."
A corner of Jensen's mouth quirks up. "You're saying that the universe directly interferes in favor of your love life?"
"Damn straight." Jared says confidently. "You can expect meteor showers soon enough."
Justin sings a bar of something that sounds like Nirvana in agreement, and Jensen begins laughing.
Jared watches him, his grin so wide it's starting to ache, but he can’t stop. "I'm really kinda growing on you, aren't I?"
Jensen's laughter dies down to a few chuckles, but he's still smiling when he replies, "Yeah, you really are."
*
Jared's second ever delivery is pre-booked, and Jensen raises a skeptical eyebrow when he announces the location.
"I don't see what the big problem is,” Jared protests, when Kristen comes over and gives Jared another raised eyebrow to add to the tally. She and Jensen look eerily alike like that, and Jared almost gets distracted thinking about how beautiful their other relatives must be if these two were the candy-store owning outcasts. Almost. "it's not like I'll be walking."
Jensen snorts. It's not an attractive sound. "God forbid."
Kristen is more rational. "It's just that-" she says, gesturing around, "Well, they're ordering you to deliver food to the middle of nowhere, Jared. They could very well be ready to use you as a drug mule and use your broom for firewood."
Jared raises a skeptical eyebrow, and Jensen's arches even prettily. Jared's eyebrows go back down, defeated. "Or they could be having a picnic," he says reasonably.
Jensen snorts again, and Jared begins rethinking wanting to jump him. "Dude, you have no idea what those woods are like. No one in their right minds would have a picnic there."
"But I'm not having a picnic there," Jared explains painstakingly. "I'm just delivering."
Kristen groans. "I surrender. I am no match for your utter denseness. You're a level of stupid other levels of stupid aspire to be. You're-"
"Dumb, we know," Jensen says, smiling crookedly, and right on cue, Jared's knees are going weak and yeah , he still wants to hit that so fucking bad. "Just promise to call when you get there, 'kay? And if they slip the words drug mule in casual conversation, run like hell." then he amends, "Or, you know, take to the skies. Whatever floats your boat."
"Yes, Mom." Jared says, rolling his eyes, and ducks out of the way when Jensen pretends to shove him.
Kristen is watching them with an expression of pure disgust. "How are you two for real?"
"We ate a lot of Cheerios as children," Jensen supplies.
Kristen huffs, and Jared waves before taking off.
*
The Tucker family turns out to be as weird as Kris predicted, minus the drug mule thing. For one, they were all wearing identical bright yellow T-shirts and caps that read BEWARE: TUCKER FAMILY ON VACATION. Also, they fucking clapped when Jared landed, which rather than flatter him, managed to freak him out completely. They then proceeded to take a million different snapshots, posing with him and his broom and Chad alternatively. One Son of Tucker tries to ride his baby, which, no. Jared yanks his broom back and the kid starts crying. Jared flips him off behind his dad’s back. Chad manages to scratch one of the teenaged Tuckers, but all in all, it’s a loss for Team Jared.
By the time he was turning down their enthusiastic offers for him to stay and roast marshmallows - "or, burn the 'llows, as we call it," explains papa Tucker, much to the amusement of Hippie Tucker, who buries her head in his chest and laughs, and Jared's honestly scared then- Jared was thinking longingly of becoming a drug mule and getting the fuck away from there. Finally, politeness be damned, he flies away, leaving them waving up at him violently.
Jensen doesn't stop laughing for a full thirty minutes after Jared tells him.
*
Jensen's shop -The Quintessence of Spun Sugar, which was probably named when Jensen was smoking some really good shit- smells of melted sugar and icing, and looks a little bit like a drawing of a carnival by a toddler with a set of crayons with too many colors.
Needless to say, Jared loves the hell out of it.
Jensen doesn't let him take shifts there, though, because Jared had the bad judgment to squeal in joy when Jensen first mentioned he owned a candy store. Of course, if Jared had played his cards right back then, he probably would have been able to manipulate Jensen into signing the whole shop over to him, but he didn't know that.
He'd actually pegged Jensen for a gigantic douche the first time they met. Once Jared had swooped in on his broom to save Jensen from falling off his roof, Jensen had asked where Jared's black dress was and Jared had contemplated just letting him fall.
Of course after that, Jensen's brain had visibly kicked in, and he'd gone red, looked down and freaked the fuck out in the course of two seconds.
He began thanking and apologizing as soon as they’d landed, and Jared had eyed him regally until Jensen offered him a job.
Jared was a little nervous at that point about the whole unemployment thing. He'd been nearly two days into taking off on his own for his training, and even though he had picked a town, it wasn't much use without using a skill and finding a job.
Jensen had come up with the whole concept on the spot, pretty much. Jared's only recognizable talent was flying, and they needed a delivery service to get Kristen’s elaborate hampers on time. He'd been eloquent, pointing out pros and cons until Jared had agreed to try it out.
And that, really, is the whole problem, Jared thinks with a sigh. When Jensen isn't actively engaged in seeming like an asshole of epic degrees, he's a total sweetheart who stammers a lot. Jared's seen him give away so much free candy it's a miracle he's still in business, and whenever Jared brings back any souvenirs from his journeys, Jensen will bitch about it for hours before giving it a place of honor in his or Kristen's shop.
In conclusion, Jared thinks a little defensively, that he's totally justified in being a little stupidly in love with Jensen.
Jared makes up his mind to bring back something really gross from his next delivery, just to be vindictive.
*
"You brought me flowers," Jensen says, a little blankly.
Jared flushes. "They're ugly flowers." he says, lamely.
"Right," Jensen sounds doubtful. His butterflies are hovering over the bouquet of garish yellow flowers as if uncertain what to make of them. "Any particular reason, or did you just think, neon yellow reminds me of Jensen?"
Jared glares. "You sound like you like them. Oh God, you like them, don't you?"
"All your cunning plans, foiled again," Jensen says with a smirk. He snatches the flowers out of Jared's hands and holds them to his chest, fluttering his eyelashes. Jared scowls. "Oh Jared, I absolutely adore them!" He sings in a cheery falsetto.
"Fuck off," Jared tells him, settling on the chair next to Jensen's.
The only customers at the shop are a pair of kids in matching bright clothes. Jared thinks with a grimace that they're probably twins. Parents suck.
He peers through the connecting doors into Kristen's shop, and sure enough, it looks completely deserted and Kris is reading a magazine at the counter. The shop'll be flooded in about an hour, so Jared knows Kristen is just enjoying the downtime.
Jensen, though, is a different story. His shop is always flooded with kids.
"What did you do, murder a kitten in public? Shouldn’t this place be crawling with kids right now?"
Jensen looks up from his book and oh, he's wearing his glasses. Jared kind of wants to reach out and touch.
When he registers Jared's question, Jensen rolls his eyes. "Yep. Right next to the community center."
"What have I told you about sacrificing kittens in public, Jensen?" Jared asks with a groan. "It's terrible for our rep. Keep it behind closed doors, for crying out loud."
"I'll keep that in mind," Jensen says dryly.
Jared looks at him affectionately. "You'll learn yet, grasshopper."
Even before he's done speaking, a tiny green insect prances into view on the counter.
Jared and Jensen stare down at it. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Jensen says, incredulously.
The insect chirps.
"Is that a...grasshopper?" Jared asks. He's feeling kinda light-headed.
"Dude, did you just create a grasshopper from the power of your brain?" Jensen asks, peering down at it. Before Jared can protest, he says, "Oh. No you didn't. This one's a mantis."
"And that makes everything so much better?" Jared demands. "We'll be overrun with animals in a month!"
"Don't listen to him, he's just bitter he's not as tiny and cute as you," Jensen croons to the mantis, scooping it up in his hands. "And Jared, it's kinda your fault these critters are coming in. We sure as hell didn't have a butterfly problem before you turned up."
Jared slumps. "Sorry."
"Hey, hey." Jensen laughs when Jared looks up at him hopefully. "Dude, no need to hit me with the puppy eyes. I don't really mind." He tries to look at the mantis, who has managed to clamber on to his shoulder and is hugging his neck in delight. "And they all seem to like me better than you. That helps."
Jared pouts. "Yeah, I bet it does."
"How's that work, anyway?" Jensen asks curiously as one of the butterflies drifting around his shop comes over to investigate. "Do all witches magically attract insects, or is that your extra special witchy power?"
Jared gives him an unimpressed look. "Jensen, you're getting us confused with those sparkly vampires from Twilight again."
"What vampires? I don't see any vampires," Jensen says dismissively, and Jared groans and hits his head on the table for emphasis. Jensen seems unfazed. "So? Do all the insects in the world have an assigned witch to stalk?"
"No,” Jared says, his face mashed against the counter. he looks up and shrugs. "They've been following me around all my life, but they never bothered to stick around this long." he nods at the posse of butterflies who are now inspecting the mantis. "That one's on you."
Jensen hums. "I am pretty irresistible."
"Just leave it, dude," Jared advises.
Jensen laughs. He watches as the mantis climbs enthusiastically down to his hand, getting tangled up in the sleeve of Jensen’s T-shirt on the way.
"Why here?" Jensen asks, still looking at his newest admirer.
"Hmm?" Jared's busy admiring the gold of Jensen's hair. He wonders if his entire life is an illusion and he's really a mantis that Jensen's got wrapped around his pinky finger, too. It isn't as upsetting as it probably should have been.
"Why'd you settle in this town?" Jensen asks, as the mantis begins playing with his knuckles. "I mean, witches can take their pick, right? You guys can train in any town you choose, but this one doesn't have a lot going on for it."
Jared shrugs. Jensen's looking right at him, eyes green and intent and stupidly beautiful. "I like the ocean," he says, truthfully.
Jensen smiles a little. It isn't his usual smirk, but a soft, private one like this struck a chord in him. "Don't blame ya," he says, looking like a commercial for contentment. Jared finds himself leaning in before he catches himself and settles firmly back in his chair.
Then, Jensen's eyes narrow. "But Jared, you've gotta know this isn't the only town near the ocean. And it sure as hell isn't the biggest."
"Jensen, Jensen, Jensen," Jared says in mock reproval. "When will you realize that size isn't everything?"
Jensen busts out laughing at that, head thrown back and eyes crinkled at the corners. Jared watches him fondly, feeling more like a mantis than ever.
He can't really tell Jensen the real reason he picked this town out of the sprinkle of them along the ocean. Jensen's right in thinking Jared's a city boy; this one's a little smaller than he's used to.
But when he dropped by that first day to check it out, there had been a gorgeous man balanced precariously on a roof, and when gravity kicked in, Jared simply had to swerve a little in his path to catch the man before he fell to his death. That man turned out to be a douche and then turned out to be an okay guy and then became Jared's best friend.
Jensen.
Which would all be fine, really, if Jared had been a little less hopelessly in love with Jensen.
*
When Jared traipses in to Spun Sugar that afternoon after an epic delivery run -nine houses in two hours, beat that, FedEx- Kristen's at the counter, trying to make JC and Justin rap.
"I don't think they work that way," Jared tells her, and she starts and looks at him guiltily.
"I don't want them to be stonewalled into a niche, is all." she says, but looks uncertain. "But they do seem to like just sticking to High School Musical. No offense, Jared, but your birds are kinda dumb."
"They're not my birds," Jared says automatically, leaning his broom against Jensen's ridiculously kooky coat hanger.
"Right, they're the symbols of your legendary gay crush on Jensen." Kristen pretends to yawn, and Jared glares. She rolls her eyes. "What? If you want me to stop, just grow a pair and ask him out."
Jared glares even harder. Maybe if he does it right, her hair will set on fire or something. He could hope. "For the last time. I am not asking the guy I work for out." and even if I did, he has better offers.
She smirks, as if she heard the afterthought. "Well, technically, you work for the entire establishment of Quintessence of Spun Sugar, which means that I'm kind of your boss, too."
"You're making it worse," Jared groans, slumping on to his chair. "And while we're at it, who came up with that name, anyway?"
She looks shifty. "It's a very high-brow name. Elegant, I should think."
Jared snorts ungracefully. "You wish, Bell."
She sighs. "Well, in our defense, we were in college and we were really drunk." she looks at the door, and Jared cranes his neck to see. "Tell you what, that's a story that Jensen should be telling. Let him do the honors."
Jensen looks adorably apprehensive as he comes into the shop, trailed by three butterflies. "Which story are we talking about, here?"
"Genesis, of course." Kristen says, jumping lightly off her stool. "How the shop came to be the kickass establishment that it is."
"Oh." Jensen's expression goes blank, but not before his eyes dart very quickly to Jared's, and a flicker of something Jared's pretty sure was nervousness passes through them. "Um, there isn't much to tell."
Kristen shepherds him to his usual place behind the counter and makes him sit so that he's facing Jared. "Of course there isn't," she says, with an unconvincingly reassuring expression. "-But Jared needs to hear it. It's his right as delivery boy for Quintessence." when Jensen and Jared both open their mouths to speak, she looks at her watch and pretends to gasp. "Well, look at the time. I'm nearly late for book club. Ta," she sings, and all but sprints for the door.
Jared stares after her as she slips out with a final, cheery wave. "How can someone so tiny be so evil?"
Jensen huffs out a laugh. "Not enough hugs as a little girl, I guess. She was a piece of work even back then."
"I can imagine." In fact, Jared sort of likes imagining it; Kristen running off and getting into trouble, hair flying everywhere and laughing madly, dragging a shy, but obedient Jensen with her. It makes his heart twinge a little.
"This shop used to be closed, you know." Jensen says quietly, and Jared tries not to tense. "For a really long time. People in this town didn't have time for candy, I guess."
Jared tries not to look incredulous, but isn't very successful, judging from Jensen's little laugh.
"We're kind of really religious here, Jay," and Jared likes that better, if only because Jensen called him Jay. "As long as we had Sunday mass, everything was fine."
Jared tries to fit that into his view of the town. The only reason he'd decided to settle here was because it seemed so laidback and easygoing. No overt religious symbols and whatnot all over the place.
Jensen smiles, the barest flicker of a smile. "And then- when we were in college- my uncle died, and left me everything he owned."
"Oh.- Jared is beginning to see where this is going, and his eyes widen until they feel too big for his face. "Oh."
Jensen smiles another faint, not-quite smile. "Yeah."
"You bought the shop," Jared says in wonder. "You bought it and opened it. How old were you?"
Jensen chews on the inside of his cheek. "Um, twenty-two, I think."
Jared stares. "So you're telling me that you built this business from scratch...in two years?"
"One," Jensen corrects. He's blushing a little. "I, uh, had to finish college."
Jared sighs. "That's...kind of amazing, Jensen."
Jensen looks at him sharply, and seeing Jared stare, he blushes even harder. "We had it easy," he begins, but Jared interrupts.
"You opened a candy shop when the townsfolk were forming angry mobs to shut you down." A twitch in Jensen’s jaw surprises Jared; he didn't expect to be accurate on that one. A sudden flare of heat goes through his stomach. "Fuck Superman, I've got a new hero."
Jensen chuckles. A faint blush still lingers on his cheeks, and he looks adorably flustered. Jared really, really wants to kiss him. "You realize that you're closer to being a superhero than anyone else, right?"
Jared snorts. "Right, the whizzing through the sky thing. Real superhero material."
Jensen gives him a look. "Jared, you save kittens from the tops of trees. That makes you like, seven different kinds of superhero."
"It was just that once," Jared says, instead of saying really? in an awestruck tone. "-And it wasn't in any real danger, its Mom was badass."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "But you saved her," he says. His lips twitch. "Jared Padalecki: your local kitten savior on a broom."
"Shut up."
"So, what about you?" Jensen asks, settling back in his chair. The tension in his body has dissolved, and he looks relaxed and happy. Jared still wants to kiss him. It's really unfair. "What's your big story?"
Jared shrugs. "The usual. My Mom's a witch, so I didn't exactly have to figure it out as I went, like most witches do. I apprenticed under her and learned absolutely nothing after I graduated high school, and like every other witch on the planet, I left home when I was twenty-one to find a town to settle down in. Nothing special, really."
Jensen laughs outright at that one. "Sorry." he manages, when Jared glares. "It's just that- I'd really love to know what qualifies as special in your world, Jared."
Jared pretends to think. "Fire breathing ponies," he says at last, decidedly, and Jensen laughs again, and manages to bat Jared’s hand away from the jar he’s got his hand down at the same time.
“If you steal more cookies, I’m gonna shove this Tootsie Pop up your ass,” Jensen says, still smiling a little.
Jared drops the cookie immediately. “You’re so violent,” he complains bitterly. Ýou shouldn’t be allowed near children.”
“Ah, but then how will I get ingredients for my special child-flavored chocolates?” Jensen asks, in a terrible European accent.
Jared eyes him doubtfully. “You’re really weird.”
“It’s been said.” Jensen examines his nails, nonchalant.
“Not enough times, apparently.”
“Hey, you have dumb hair and do you hear me going on about it?”
*
In theory, witches have it easy.
Growing up like a regular kid until they come of age at twenty one, and then leaving home to find a town to settle down in and hone their talents.
It would be, Jared muses as he trudges back to the shop, broom in hand, much easier if someone actually sent round a memo telling him what his talent actually was. His mother was known throughout the state as a potioneer, and she had passed it on to Jared's sister, Meg. Jared had been optimistic that he had inherited it as well, until his mother told him firmly that his talents lay elsewhere when he made Chad turn purple with fetching green polka dots by accident three times in a row while trying to make a sleeping draught.
As far as he knows, his special talent is attracting weird insects whenever he's particularly happy. That, and being able to consume massive amounts of candy, which Jensen told him in no uncertain terms that wasn't a talent at all and he should cut it out before Jensen went out of business.
So Jared doesn't actually know what his talent is, let alone make it into a craft. He'd tried his hand at tarot reading (and reluctantly came off it when he predicted death for seven people in a row within the month) and astrology (Jared was always distracted by how pretty the stars were) but nothing stuck. He was a talentless witch.
"Uh-oh," Jensen says, as Jared storms into the room, scowling blackly. "What now?"
Jared takes no notice of his mock apprehension. "I'm a pathetic failure of a witch. I should probably go become a monk or something on a hill and offer wisdom to delusional young witches."
Jensen snorts. "But then, where will you get your candy from?" he asks, batting his eyelashes innocently.
Jared thinks about that. "I'll exchange wisdom for Twizzlers."
"That sounds like a bad bargain." Jensen says thoughtfully. "The kind of wisdom you're talking about is worth a Twix bar, I think."
"Oh. Okay." Jared thinks about this for a minute, mentally scanning the area for any convenient hills.
"What is this about, by the way?" Jensen nudges a bowl of gummy worms in Jared’s direction as he slumps onto his stool in despair. "Are you seriously trying to find yourself? Aren't you a little too old for that?"
Jared flips him off, stuffing his mouth full. "No talent," he tells Jensen, who looks faintly disgusted by the amount of candy Jared has in his mouth. "Failure as a witch."
"But you have a job," Jensen says, confused. "Isn't that the whole point of having a talent?"
Jared gives him a withering look. "Jensen, I fly around on a broom for a living. Not exactly groundbreaking. I've heard of witches who can walk on fucking water."
"What do they do for a living?" Jensen asks curiously. "Scare the shit out of ducks?"
Jared glares.
Jensen holds his hands up placatingly. "Okay, okay. You're having an existential crisis because you think that flying isn't as badass as walking on water."
Jared inhales, pained. "Jensen," he says slowly, deliberately, "all witches can fly."
"So?" Jensen seems unfazed. "I bet all of them aren't as amazing at it as you are." His eyes widen when he realizes what he'd said, and he blushes.
Jared smirks, and finds that he actually feels a little better. "Amazing, huh?"
Jensen shoves him. "Shut up."
Jared doesn't.
*
A couple comes out of the shop the next day as Jared's coming in, and they smile and wave cheerfully at him. Jared waves back, and goes inside.
Jensen's at the counter, talking to JC and Justin. Chad gives them all a general disdainful look, and stalks off towards the attic.
"Evening, stranger," Jared says, and Jensen starts, and looks up, looking surprised.
Jared smirks. "Told you we should get a bell for that door."
Jensen shakes his head firmly.
Jared sticks out his tongue. "Suit yourself."
Jensen looks at him for a minute, looking like he doesn't hear a word Jared's saying, obviously thinking something over. Jared waits him out.
"Did you see the display?"
Jared blinks at him. "Uh- what?"
Jensen gestures behind him and Jared turns around, curious.
At first he doesn't even notice it. His eyes take in the logo of the shop on the window -a swirly, neon-colored design that has Kristen written all over it- to the poster advertising the Spring Fair to the sign hanging above it.
Then he frowns. "Jensen, what's that sign?"
Jensen doesn't answer. Jared turns his head to raise his eyebrows at him, and Jensen just smiles a little.
Jared sighs, and goes outside. He holds the door open for Jensen to pass, and Jensen doesn't even make a lewd comment about being a gentleman. He's nervous.
Jared soon finds out why.
Affixed right next to the Quintessence logo is a glass sign with the words JARED'S DELIVERY SERVICES clearly emblazoned across it.
Jared gapes.
“Jensen,” he says, in a distant voice that makes him sound bizarrely like Meg. “Jensen, what is that?”
Jensen, once Jared looks at him, is blushing so furiously his freckles stand out. “You did say that this was what you wanted to do,” he says, and he sounds slightly defensive and a lot nervous. “I thought I’d…help.”
Jared just stares at him.
Jensen bites his lip. “Look, I’ll take it down. It’s not a big deal, just an idea. It’s cool.”
He moves towards it, and Jared’s hand surprises them both by shooting out to grab his wrist.
Jensen looks up at him, lips parted in surprise, and all of Jared’s vocabulary shimmers out of existence. His mind begins an unhelpful chant of kisshimkisshimkisshim.
“I love it,” Jared says, and Jensen blinks at him. He lets go of Jensen’s wrist very quickly.
Jensen looks a bit disoriented, blinking around owlishly. He looks at Jared for a moment before looking away. “Yeah?” he asks.
Jared nods, trying not to kick himself too visibly. “Uh-huh.”
Jensen still looks unguarded, almost disappointed, and Jared can’t think why. “Alrighty then.”
*
It can’t be later than eight am, and Jared feels like death. Yet-
“Room service!" Jensen calls out with unnecessary enthusiasm from outside.
Jared groans and burrows deeper under the covers. "Go away!" he yells back. His voice comes out in a pathetic little whine and Chad spares him a condescending look.
"But I have soup," Jensen wheedles. "Kris made it extra special for you."
"Oh, I bet you're just loving this, aren't you?" Jared has to catch his breath after that. Sarcasm was tiring. He'd have to remember that next time he was in his deathbed.
"Little bit, yeah."
Jared bites his lip, but there's the sound of a key turning in the lock, and he looks at Chad, panicked. “Quick, how do I look?”
“Gay.” Chad says, licking a paw. “Completely and incontrovertibly gay.”
“Not vulnerable and fragile?” Jared whispers hopefully as the doorknob turns.
Chad snorts. “You look like the Jolly Green Giant after he got hit by an eighteen-wheeler. In a rainstorm.”
Jensen strolls in before Jared has time to reply, balancing a tray in his hands. Jared eyes him mistrustfully.
"What happened, anyway?" Jensen asks, setting the tray down a little violently on the nightstand and cocking an eyebrow at Jared.
Jared sniffles a little. "Allergies," he says, in as gruff a voice as he can manage. He was being manful about this, dammit.
Jensen looks marginally more sympathetic. "Yeah? That sucks." he looks around, and Chad gives him the stink eye. Grimacing, Jensen looks back at Jared. "Was it the dandelions?"
Jared flushes a little, and Jensen's lips twitch. "I’m not gonna tell you if you're laughing at me already." Jared whines.
Jensen holds up in hands in surrender. "No laughing. And for the record, you're acting like a girl. A girl just barely out of drama class in high school. Possibly with braids."
"You're acting like a douche," Jared mutters under his breath vindictively.
Jensen makes a stabbing motion into his chest. "You're killing me, Jay. No need to be cruel."
"Did you come up here just to be an asshole at me?" Jared asks snottily.
Jensen shrugs. "Pretty much," he drags the only chair over and sits on it, leaning towards Jared. His green eyes are alight with mischief, but warmed by actual concern. "Just tell me what it was."
Jared looks away from him, biting his lip. "Uh." he says. "Broom polish."
for a moment, Jensen says nothing. Jared's forced to look back, and when he does, Jensen looks blank. "What?"
Jared drags his covers up further and squirms on the bed a little. "You know, broom polish. For the handle. My Mom makes it, it's supposed to be good for stability and lightness and that sort of thing."
"Let me get this straight," Jensen says, slowly. His eyes are doing that slowly lighting up thing again, fucking sparkling now. Jared kinda wants to sock him. And kiss him. Maybe the latter before the former, because Jensen doesn't really strike him as the masochistic ttype.
"You're allergic to super-special witch's broom polish." Jensen makes it sound special and exotic. Of course, that's when he begins laughing outright. "You're a terrible witch."
Jared glares. "You know you completely lost any points you got when you brought me soup, right?"
Jensen doesn't stop laughing. "Are you, like, afraid of heights, too?" he asks innocently. When he sees Jared's expression, he sobers up a little. "I'm sorry, that was too easy to resist. I'll get out of your hair now." he snorts a little, still amused, and Jared glares at his back all the way to the door. Once there, he pauses.
Jared groans, "What?"
Jensen turns back, holds up a finger. "Um. You'll see."
Jared just looks at him blankly, and a little nervously. Even Chad looks involved, which means he's ready to bolt if shit got ugly.
Jared tries to think happy thoughts, like how Jensen probably wouldn't throw a knife at him ot something. Jensen has no reason to really want Jared dead. Maybe Jared wasn't so subtle about the staring thing. Oh God, he always knew his tendency to stare at pretty things was going to come back and bite him in the ass.
Instead, Jensen whistles and Jared gets even more confused.
And then JC and Justin land on Jared's windowsill. They look inquiringly at Jensen, and when he does a weird hand gesture like he was feeling up a giraffe, they begin singing.
"Jensen," Jared says a little doubtfully, "why are there a couple of birds singing Call Me Maybe on my windowsill?"
Jensen, when Jared looks at him, has blushed bright red. He rubs the back of his neck, not meeting Jared's eyes. "Thought it might cheer you up. Since, you know, you think you're dying and all."
Jared says, automatically, "I didn't think I was dying."
Jensen arches an eyebrow. Jared hates that eyebrow so, so much. "Dude, your exact words to me were tell my Momma I loved her and remember to never, ever give up on love."
Jared makes a dismissive gesture. "Painkillers talking. What about Carly Rae Jepsen?"
Jensen blushes again, on top of the fading one from before. He looks adorably flustered, and a little like he wants to run for the hills. "It was the easiest to train them to sing."
The two birds go on singing happily, and the butterflies who had now taken up permanent residence in Jensen's hair flutter their wings in tune. It's weirdly like Jensen made his own performance group from his entourage of gay little woodland creatures. It's kind of incredibly awesome.
"You're like the Pied Piper of Hamlin," Jared realizes. "Only with fluffy critters of dubious sexual orientation instead of, you know, kids."
“You’re the one who makes them show up in the first place,” Jensen points out, rolling his eyes. He does that a lot, Jared’s noticed. "And you're welcome."
“So we’re like a two-man Pied Piper of Hamlin,” Jared muses. “We’re like the fiendish attractiveness of the Pied Piper, but in two separate men.”
“That’s all I’ve ever dreamed of, tell me more,” Jensen deadpans.
"No no, let me get this straight," Jared says, beginning to grin. "You trained your gay for each other birds to sing...just to make me feel better?"
Jensen glares. Hard. "Fuck you, Padalecki."
Jared grins wider. "You like me."
Jensen groans and says, "Oh my God," to the room in general, but Jared doesn't let that stop him.
"Are we going to, like, exchange promise rings and swear to be true to each other forever and ever?" Jared makes his eyes go all wide and earnest. "And maybe...one day...maybe we could hug?"
"You're an asshole," Jensen tells him. "See if I do anything nice for you ever again."
"Never, ever give up on love, Jensen!" Jared calls as Jensen steps outside. Jensen makes a face and flips him off. Jared blows him a kiss and Jensen mimics shooting it.
Jared's grinning like a lunatic by the time Jensen shuts the door behind him and leaves.
There's a very, very significant silence. At least, Chad says nothing and Jared says nothing and the birds start on the chorus again.
"So," Chad says, springing from his chair on to the covers. He eyes Jared speculatively. "You seem to have recovered."
"Fuck off," Jared says, turning away to hide his blush.
"Yeah, not gonna happen," Chad says, and settles down firmly on one of Jared's ankles. Jared has a bad feeling about this that has nothing to do with the residual nausea from the broom polish. "Gay lovebirds does it for you, then?"
Jared makes a rude gesture and Chad's claws dig into his leg. Jared yelps, and glares. Chad looks unaffected.
"Because I was thinking, that was really, embarrassingly gay." Chad says, digging his claws in conversationally. "Maybe it was just me."
"How did you even pass the black cat's test?" Jared asks suspiciously. "You're a terrible assistant. Unless..." his eyes widen. "Oh my God, there isn't a test for black cats, is there?"
Chad purrs and licks a paw. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Jared flails a little. "You mean I've been going around all this time with an unqualified black cat?"
"Okay, first of all," Chad claws him again, "there isn't a test for black cats, sheesh. That was your mother trying to make you feel special, and can you blame her, really? You don't exactly have a lot going on for you."
Jared attempts to kick him off, but Chad holds on firmly.
"Second of all," Chad continues, "your stupid schoolgirl crush on Jensen is getting on my nerves."
Jared slumps on to the bed. Even the birds stop singing, which Jared feels kind of sorry about, because those birds carry a tune like nobody’s business. Jensen really seemed to know his shit.
"Yeah, I know," Jared says to the ceiling.
"So, any plans?" Chad asks, cutting rudely through Jared’s brooding.
"For what?"
Chad rolls his eyes. Jared can hear him do it. "For getting Jensen to have fluffy gay sex with you on a rainbow!" he says, like this is obvious.
Jared raises his eyebrows. "You're getting me confused with unicorns again."
Chad swipes a claw through Jared's ankle, and it fucking hurts. Jared is making a complaint to the Royal Black Cats Society. Unless...
Jared really doesn’t feel like having any more illusions dragged from under his feet today, so he says, "It's no use. Jensen doesn't like me that way."
"Oh Christ, my ears are bleeding," Chad moans. "Somebody make him stop."
Jared kicks a little, but he's chuckling. "Okay, let me phrase that better. Jensen doesn't seem into the whole dating an employee thing. Happy?"
"You make my life complete," Chad says dryly. Jared doesn't even like cats, he has no idea why he lets Chad stick around. "And what the fuck are you going on about? It's not like Jensen's your boss anymore.”
Jared shrugs. “I just-“ He gestures, nearly knocking the soup off the nightstand. “He- he brought me soup, man.”
Chad looks disgusted. Jared doesn’t really blame him.
*
Onwards