Bridal shower question/little rant

[truckersgirl]

I have a question but it follows a brief rant first (sorry!!) So my cousin decided she wanted to throw me my bridal shower, which I thought was really sweet and nice of her. After many times of figuring out dates that would work with my bridesmaids, we picked June 5th. Over 2 weeks ago I gave her a list of people for her to invite and said for

Comments

[ipsafictura]

I'd rather have at least 3 weeks (assuming I don't have to travel, 5-6 weeks if I do), but two weeks isn't terrible. With the exception of stuff like workplace showers, I think it's not appropriate to invite people to showers who won't be invited to the wedding.

[truckersgirl]

Not much traveling, most are with-in the same city. Ok gad I asked, I thought it would be bad to invite people not at the wedding but I was told to.... didn't sit well with me. Thanks!

[blueirisheyez]

I feel it is inappropriate to invite people to the showers who are not invited to the wedding. The only exception is work related showers (and I know in some areas, women from church tend to try to give a shower as well).

Also, two weeks isn't enough time for me as I normally have family commitments that eat at my weekends.

[truckersgirl]

That was my thought too (on both) so I'm glad I asked. Thanks

[oh_muffy]

Depending on how close you are to everyone, 2wks may not be bad; like if it is a few girls you feel comfortable explaining the situation to. But if it is also some older ladies, maybe some of Mom's friends or older aunts & the like, they may be miffed by the lack of notice. It's your call really!

And inviting people to the shower who are not invited to the wedding is a no-no.

[misskelleen]

And inviting people to the shower who are not invited to the wedding is a no-no.

This is my understanding also.

[truckersgirl]

It's friends but also a lot of my moms friends, I feel it would have been nice to give more especially since she had the list weeks ago. But since a lot of them are my friends too, maybe they won't mind.

[lissiehoya]

My sister sent out mine over a month in advance, but when I was planning iris4700's shower I think we sent out invites closer to 2-3 weeks before. If people are local, 2 weeks isn't too bad.

[truckersgirl]

Most are local so I hope it's not too bad. Thanks :)

[hippie_mamabear]

I agree with everyone above: you DON'T invite people to the shower that you're not inviting to the wedding. But you don't have to invite everyone to the shower (that can be limited to your very close friends and family). I would actually be pretty mad if i got an invite to the shower but not the wedding; it basically says "You're good enough to give me stuff, but not share my special day."

[explorateur]

Well I actually have an exception to that. My work is throwing me a bridal shower and none of them are invited but they wanted to do it anyway. Neither my family nor my FH's family lives where we live so it would be hard to have one otherwise.

[hippie_mamabear]

Well yeah, it's different if it's their idea and they're aware that it's because they're work friends or whatever. But i wouldn't automatically put work friends on a list for a traditional shower unless you're planning to invite them to the wedding too, kwim?

[truckersgirl]

That was my thought exactly!! And I don't want people to be thinking that I'm greedy or take it as an insult. I was invited to one with the barn I ride at years ago but since Iw as in college at the time and not really at the barn I wasn't invited to the wedding (instead IW as asked to feed the horses lol) but I remember thinking, "well why are we (mom and I) invited to the bridal shower but not good enough to get a wedding invite??" (even though I understand now, that I was really not part of the barn for those 2 years)