Dress problem, mostly solved
We're having a two-dress wedding (in 505 days!), and I just wasn't into any of the dress suggestions anyone was coming up with. Since my gal made her dress, I'd need to use the same fabric for my dress or we'll look funny. And eh. I look iffy in that color of white, but she looks smashing because she's a Caribbean girl, and the fabric is white with a golden shine. (See pics under cut.) THEN! I found my solution! While watching the Fidelity: Don't Divorce video (which may be controversial and is pro-gay people staying married so you are warned!), I saw this:
Perfect! Two brides! One in white, one in color, with a unifying bit of color between them!
Here's my gal in her dress:
She's even browner now and will be her favorite lovely shade of burnt toast for our summer 2010 beach wedding.
We also had a few major goals for our patriarchy-subverting, lady-loving, green wedding; and the biggest one was opting out of the bridal industry. We don't have diamonds in our rings; we're not buying any wedding dresses; and we refuse to pay into any frivol so hey! I can just say F THIS (quite gladly) and buy a J. Crew dress that I will wear again and again to wear opposite my girl's dress. (I'm a big fan of the J. Crew so this will not be an idle investment. Or I could wear the J. Crew dress I just bought, if it's still my favorite dress ever. J. Crew sale pages, I love you.)
This is a happy solution!
In other news, a progress post:
Date: June 30, 2010
Dress for Bride One: Done.
Dress for Bride Two: Not done, but I'll get around to finding something I love eventually. Thinking green, because I love green.
Location: Tentatively Lighthouse Point Park in New Haven, CT. I'll be scouting that this summer then paying the $50 deposit for the park if it's a go.
Officient: The Rev. Kate S. has offered to risk her ordination to perform our ceremony. We're floored and thrilled. We LOVE Kate.
Engagement Rings: We have a set of moissanite and recycled silver rings from McFarland Designs. She wears this one, and I wear this one.
Wedding Rings: McFarland Designs will be doing a custom ring for Aliyah (my lady-friend); it will be the same design as her engagement ring with pink or red gems set around the band instead of the 12 moissanite stones. My ring is a much more complicated matter.
Wedding Party: We aren't having one! Problem solved!
Flowers: Whatever the grocery store has that day is what we will be carrying. Not picky. Maybe we'll just carry pipe cleaners and sea shells. God knows.
Shoes: Beach wedding. No shoes.
Reception: It's a BYO dessert potluck. We'll provide a few cases of coke, ice, and lots of table cloths scouted from the Salvie.
Ceremony Music: If Aliyah's father is still speaking to her (because Daddy doesn't quite know that his baby is gay), we're going to ask him to play some calypso guitar. It's his specialty! (He's a really good guitar player, and I rather like him behind the guitar because that means he's not picking fights with anyone. It's a good solution.)
Last Names: We're probably going to swap names, no hyphen. She can decide how to socially deploy her hum-dinger of a new last name; I will keep my present name (the short and sweet Cole) socially and legally have her name with mine, too.
Photography: This is up for debate. We really like a few different people so it depends on what we want to spend. We may actually fly Maile Lani up from New Orleans because we liked her so damn much. I'm not worried yet.
Other, random, fun: Because Aliyah is West Indian, bridal mehendi is a cultural tradition. Part of my gift to her will be her bridal mehendi and the mehendi for the all the women in her family who want it. We will then open it up to all of our guests as a pay-your-own-way event, because lots of our college friends will want to jump into this and have a fun night!
I think that's about everything we've got going on. I'd love to hear any questions or thoughts!
Perfect! Two brides! One in white, one in color, with a unifying bit of color between them!
Here's my gal in her dress:
She's even browner now and will be her favorite lovely shade of burnt toast for our summer 2010 beach wedding.
We also had a few major goals for our patriarchy-subverting, lady-loving, green wedding; and the biggest one was opting out of the bridal industry. We don't have diamonds in our rings; we're not buying any wedding dresses; and we refuse to pay into any frivol so hey! I can just say F THIS (quite gladly) and buy a J. Crew dress that I will wear again and again to wear opposite my girl's dress. (I'm a big fan of the J. Crew so this will not be an idle investment. Or I could wear the J. Crew dress I just bought, if it's still my favorite dress ever. J. Crew sale pages, I love you.)
This is a happy solution!
In other news, a progress post:
Date: June 30, 2010
Dress for Bride One: Done.
Dress for Bride Two: Not done, but I'll get around to finding something I love eventually. Thinking green, because I love green.
Location: Tentatively Lighthouse Point Park in New Haven, CT. I'll be scouting that this summer then paying the $50 deposit for the park if it's a go.
Officient: The Rev. Kate S. has offered to risk her ordination to perform our ceremony. We're floored and thrilled. We LOVE Kate.
Engagement Rings: We have a set of moissanite and recycled silver rings from McFarland Designs. She wears this one, and I wear this one.
Wedding Rings: McFarland Designs will be doing a custom ring for Aliyah (my lady-friend); it will be the same design as her engagement ring with pink or red gems set around the band instead of the 12 moissanite stones. My ring is a much more complicated matter.
Wedding Party: We aren't having one! Problem solved!
Flowers: Whatever the grocery store has that day is what we will be carrying. Not picky. Maybe we'll just carry pipe cleaners and sea shells. God knows.
Shoes: Beach wedding. No shoes.
Reception: It's a BYO dessert potluck. We'll provide a few cases of coke, ice, and lots of table cloths scouted from the Salvie.
Ceremony Music: If Aliyah's father is still speaking to her (because Daddy doesn't quite know that his baby is gay), we're going to ask him to play some calypso guitar. It's his specialty! (He's a really good guitar player, and I rather like him behind the guitar because that means he's not picking fights with anyone. It's a good solution.)
Last Names: We're probably going to swap names, no hyphen. She can decide how to socially deploy her hum-dinger of a new last name; I will keep my present name (the short and sweet Cole) socially and legally have her name with mine, too.
Photography: This is up for debate. We really like a few different people so it depends on what we want to spend. We may actually fly Maile Lani up from New Orleans because we liked her so damn much. I'm not worried yet.
Other, random, fun: Because Aliyah is West Indian, bridal mehendi is a cultural tradition. Part of my gift to her will be her bridal mehendi and the mehendi for the all the women in her family who want it. We will then open it up to all of our guests as a pay-your-own-way event, because lots of our college friends will want to jump into this and have a fun night!
I think that's about everything we've got going on. I'd love to hear any questions or thoughts!