In which Sam sees his angelic brother for the first time
He had been awake now for about two weeks in the hospital. He had started to heal, faster than the doctors were expecting. They didn't believe Sam when he offhandedly commented that he did tend to heal fast. The casts were gone now from his body, though some areas were still wrapped in bandages just to keep him from getting too much exertion while starting his physical therapy.
There were a few things that Sam knew wouldn't heal without asking for divine intervention. However, Sam was like his brother in that he kept some scars to remind him of his past. And while he had come to really believe that what Lucifer had done as him wasn't his fault... there was a part of him that would always hate knowing his involvement. It was his weaknesses that got him there, and he refused to be weak anymore. He'd always have a small limp from the way his hips had re-healed, and then there was the scar on his face that was a cut above and below the eye and halfway down his cheek.
Dean had always said that chicks dug scars. Though he wasn't going to be flirting with anyone anymore. He was completely happy and set in his choice, and couldn't wait to get out of the hospital to fulfill it.
He just wished that his brother could be there to see it. Or make jokes about being with Ruby. Anything. Maybe one day...
Sam had finished his morning PT session and was taking a quick nap. Ruby had been at his side constantly, but he urged her to just get out for a few hours and do something for herself. He would be fine. So once she was gone, he just curled up (as much as he could in the bandages and air cast on his leg) and let himself drift off to sleep.
When Sam woke up, he would find a familiar looking set of keys, sitting on the bedside table next to him. If he actually managed to get up and get to the window, he'd find the beloved family car sitting in the parking lot, waiting to be driven.
Sam woke up only a few minutes after the keys appeared. He had a sixth sense that knew when non-humans were around, but the presence has been so fleeting that it took time to register. His eyes focused on the keys and he sat up quickly as if they were going to attack him. Then he grabbed the cane he had hooked on the edge of the bed and made his way to the window to in fact see the Impala parked on the top level of the parking garage - right where he could see it.
He pursed his lips, then turned back to the keys before looking heavenward. "Dean?" he asked softly. His brother hadn't stuck around which pulled at him sadly. He limped over to pick up the keys and hid them in his sweatpants' pocket. Then he got an idea and grabbed his cane again, making his way slowly down the hallways and to the elevator, going down to the level with the hospital chapel.
When he walked in, there was another person kneeling and praying. Sam sat down and waited until the woman stood and left, then he leaned forward to rest his arms on the back of the next pew. "Dean, I don't know if you're listening... but I don't understand what to make of the car appearing. Are you up there watching over me? You know you don't have to hide from me... I... I miss you. A lot."
Michael was listening. He was listening and unsure of what to do, because he wasn't sure if he was ready for that kind of face to face interaction with Sam yet. Giving him the car, that was just a matter of practicality on Michael's part. Sam needed the car, and he was in the family, so that was where the car should go. There might had been the slightest bit of an emotional push from the Dean end of the spectrum, but Michael wasn't ready to acknowledge that yet. He was still -- adjusting to the whole thing. When Sam started to speak to him, though, he could feel the emotional ache to be close to his brother. Different from the emotional ache that had followed the rejection from Ben -- that had pushed Dean and his emotions further back, hiding away the stronger presence of the angel. But this was different. This was a -- longing of sorts. A need to be close to someone he wasn't close to anymore.
Michael knew the risk of going to Sam and having him react the same way Ben did -- in fact, he knew that if that was the reaction, it would be worse for Dean. Dean would just continue to hide, continue thinking that people couldn't accept him this way, and that what he had done was a mistake -- even if in the end, he knew that it wasn't. Michael also knew, however, that they were going to have to face Sam eventually, and the sooner they did this, the better. It might be more useful to helping him find his place in a world where he didn't seem to fit anywhere.
It was a long pause between Sam speaking and Michael actually appearing, sitting in the pew behind him. He knew that he still looked like the brother Sam remembered -- God had been kind enough to allow him to keep the body he was used to -- but there was no soul inside it. Only that of the angel. Which was comforting in its own right as well. He was quiet mostly -- Sam knew he was there, and he wasn't sure there was anything to say as of yet.
Yeah, Sam knew he was there, and part of him was afraid to turn around. But he felt the presence, and like all the other angels, there was an aura that he could feel that separated them all from each other. And he could feel Michael's... and it felt the way Dean always felt to him. He didn't even realize there were tears in his eyes until he reached up to wipe them. He wasn't sad through. He couldn't explain it. He was so happy to feel his presence behind him... but he could feel some of the changes and didn't know what to do.
Finally he lifted his head and gave a half smile as he looked at the stained glass window in front of them. "I want to understand what's going on," he said. "What this means for us now. I just got you back... I don't want to lose you again."
There was a surge of happiness and apprehension, and Michael wasn't sure how to respond at first. The emotions when it came to Sam were -- overwhelming -- and he was still trying to sort out what it all meant. This mixed bag from Dean wasn't helping any, but he knew that his emotional center wasn't exactly inclined to do him any favors. "I am angel, Sam. This may mean that I'm gone for long periods of time, as I do have other obligations that I'm expected to fulfill. I won't be -- here, all the time, as I was when I was human. In fact, I'm still struggling with certain things, so earth isn't exactly -- the most welcoming place for me to be at the moment."
Sam turned at that. It was Dean's voice, but so proper. It was like another person he was hearing, and he shifted so that he was looking at the angel behind him. There was no emotions displayed on his face that Sam could read. He had always been able to read his brother's face like a book - but now it was impossible. "Earth will never be a welcoming place. I don't feel welcome here... haven't for a long time. You have to fight to find that spot, and then hold onto it." He tilted his head a bit. "I know it can't go back to what we had. And if you hadn't chosen this path, I wouldn't be here either. I'm thankful for that, even if sometimes I wish you hadn't..." He sucked on his lip a moment. "I mean... you've sacrificed so much because of me. As both of you. It doesn't seem fair to any of us, but it happened and we have to continue on. And I know I can't... not without you."
Michael sighed slightly. This time the emotion was more of a relieved sigh that Sam wasn't angry. It didn't fix things, but on some level it helped. "You didn't deserve what was thrust upon you, Sam. And She didn't wish to see your end come at Lucifer's hands. Believe me when I say She did everything She knew how before deciding on what I needed to do." He paused again for a moment. "Besides, I don't regret taking my grace back. It's who I am. While Dean is a part of me, as well, I missed the angel I used to be. I missed my faith." He missed Her. It was an ache he felt, every day, because he knew that someone should have been there and they weren't.
"I get that. When I left Dean to take over the demon army... I forgot how to be human. There are still times I struggle to remember that I can't do certain things anymore. But I can't escape either half of me." He looked Michael in the eye. All the other angels made his hair stand on end, but in Michael's presence, it wasn't a problem. And with Michael talking about Dean as being something inside of him, there was a tiny loss of hope in his eyes before they brightened again as he thought of something. "You're always going to long for both worlds because of this. And you'll always have heaven. It's not going anywhere. But us? We only get so long. Part of being human. If you stay away too long... that part of you that's my brother may regret it when we're gone and all you have left is heaven, and he's alone in your world for eternity."
He saw that flicker in Sam's eyes, and he looked away, eyes wandering over the stations of the cross that were placed on the far wall. "Dean -- " He paused for a moment, before readdressing the situation. " -- I am still trying to -- assimilate -- the person who Dean was." He paused for a moment, before correcting his tense. "Is." That was better. "It is -- somewhat complicated, and there are some things that -- " He stopped again, trying to get the wording right. "It is not as though I am possessing Dean, and just sharing this body with him. Dean is me and I am him, and while you would think that it would be simple to readjust the two pieces of the puzzle back together -- it is not. Dean has so much more -- emotion. In fact, he has emotions and needs which I am still learning how to handle as angels weren't equipped to handle those kinds of things. Sympathy, compassion, love -- those were all built into us as we were charged with guidance and servitude. Anger, I am familiar with as well. But regret, apprehension, guilt, lust -- those I am not certain I know what to do with."
There was another pause, as he tried to put into context while he was telling Sam all this. "I am not the person I used to be. I am also not staying away because I prefer Heaven over this plane of existence. I am staying away because I do not want to say or do the wrong thing in order to jeopardize this family further." Because he could see the damage done, and didn't want to make things worse when he was still in a situation that he didn't understand. He knew, or at least felt, that Ben disappearing was his fault, and despite the fact that he still retained Dean's memories and knew ways of dealing with him, it wasn't his people skills that were the problem. It was the fact that Ben didn't see him as his father anymore and that hurt in a way neither Dean nor Michael hadn't been prepared for.
Sam saw the hurt register for a moment, and he nodded. He reached over, cautiously reached out for his brother's hand. "You'll start figuring it out, I know you will. It's confusing. But you can try by starting to feel a bit, and think less. I get that angels aren't wired to let their emotions run them, but they are great guides in helping you figure things out. This family's been through a lot, and it's our bonds and how much we care for each other that keeps us together. And you're a big part of it. Dean is... was the strength of all off us. Doing what you did saved probably all of us, but it also took away a keystone."
He thought for a moment. "It's about Ben, isn't it?" Ruby had told him that Ben had left Anna and lost contact with everyone. He was worried about his nephew and planned to royally ream him out when he resurfaced. Ruby had also mentioned, though, that Ben hadn't taken this easy.
"I am not trying to take that away. Some things just require -- patience." And he didn't respond to the question about Ben. His eyes just continued to follow the steps of the stations as they made their way around the room.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere. Hell, I'm not even leaving this place for another week or two." He shifted his hand so that he wasn't reaching, but instead just rested his hand on top of Michael's. "Not all of us have it. Ben wasn't born into this kind of world, and he has a hard time dealing with a lot of this. In two years he's watched both his parents die in his arms because of him, and not being able to see Dean in you immediately probably made him relive it all again. Those emotions that you don't understand are almost hypersensitive in him, and he can't handle them sometimes, especially when he's upset. You need to give him time and he will come back."
"I know." And he did. But things were still shaky for him, and he did have other reasons. "I have also been without my brothers for a very long time. They are my family as well, Sam. And I have been away from them for more than forty years."
Sam nodded. "I know. It's painful and tears at you. I've been there myself for 14 years, and it was my choice."
"Mine was my choice as well," he said slowly. "She asked me to do this, considering the risks. It wasn't an order."
"That's why I understand why you want to be with them. I don't blame you." Sam sighed and squeezed Michael's hand. "And as long as I live, I'm your brother too. And even if you don't fit in on earth, you'll always fit in with me. We've got time to get us figured out in how it's gonna work." He chuckled a bit to himself. "However, you're going to have to get used to being called Dean because there's no way I'm going to remember to call you Michael."
That got the faintest smile on Michael's face, before he nodded. "I figured as much." There was a pause as he tried to figure out the best way to speak about her. "Mary refuses to call me anything else." Another reason he had been staying in Heaven. Dean found it incredibly comforting being near his mother and father. Not that being near Sam wasn't comforting as well, but he had been missing them longer.
"... Mom?" That got Sam. Because he had never known her except for the one moment her ghost had appeared to him years ago. "She.. she did go to heaven then?" Tears instantly sprang to his eyes.
Michael nodded slowly. "She did. She had always been faithful, even in her darkest moments."
"And Dad?" He had so many people he wanted to know about. Jess. Madison. Others who had died along the way who shouldn't have because either he couldn't save them, or they tried to save him.
Michael nodded again. "John is working on becoming an angel himself."
"Dad? An angel?" Sam laughed, amazed. He then rubbed the back of his head. "I guess there's still a chance for me too, then."
"There always was," Michael nodded. "So long as you're repentant there is always a place in paradise."
"I had convinced myself a long time ago that my demon blood gave me a first class ticket to hell. Castiel told me there was a chance, but it's hard to believe sometimes."
"It's not what you are, Sam, it's the choices you make. And a lot of hard choices have been placed on your shoulders."
"I know." He looked at Michael a bit. It was like talking to a stranger, but not. He knew he would get used to the change, but he could also understand why Alec and Ben were thrown too. He wasn't sure what else to say on this line either, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "I asked Ruby to marry me."
Michael's head snapped up a bit in surprised, and his head canted a bit, an expression that he probably would have seen from Castiel if he had ever said anything to confuse the angel. "Congratulations?" He wasn't sure if that was the appropriate response or not. Neither parts of himself were.
"Thanks." Sam chuckled a bit. He was sure that was how Dean would have reacted anyway. And his explanation was one he was sure Michael would understand. "God told me that I'm due for some good times now. It felt like the right step in that direction."
"Then good for you," Michael said with a nod. "I hope you two are happy."
"I hope so too." Sam shifted and winced as his body reminded him that sitting in the hard pews wasn't the best thing he could be doing for his body. "Are you sure you want me to have the car. You're going to need it."
Michael shook his head. "Me keeping the car would be -- impractical. I can move places in the blink of an eye. I do not need her for transportation, but you do. She's in good hands."
Sam nodded. "Well, if you ever change your mind. Sometimes it's just nice to take a drive and see the beauty of the world and just think."
"I know," he nodded.
"And if you want to drive... I'll still ride shotgun."
That got Sam a small smile, and a nod. "I'd like that."
"Me too." Sam smiled back. He shifted again. "I should probably move before my body stiffens up. Want to take a walk or something? I hear the cafeteria has some good pie."
He paused for a moment, considering his options for a moment, carefully. "I will walk you back to your room, but there is something else I need to take care of. Maybe another time, though." He was curious about the pie. Dean loved it, but Michael wasn't sure he was sold.
"I'll keep you to that then." Sam got up and shifted his cane to be on the hurt side so that he could start walking in his slow, limping speed.
Michael nodded, before getting to his feet as well, moving with the strong steady gait of an angel next to him.
Sam got a good distance before he stumbled, falling into the wall to catch himself. He winced and closed his eyes, his arm wrenching a bit with the impact. "I swear, after I'm healed, I'm never going to let myself get this hurt again..."
"Let me help," Michael said gently, moving to take his brother's arm and going to support him.
He would have complained but this was Dean, so he didn't and instead let his brother take his arm and put it over his shoulder. He winced as he felt his muscles spasm a bit, but he took a deep breath and gave a small smile. "Already slipping back into old roles of you taking care of me," he pointed out with a soft chuckle.
He smiled slightly, before starting to move them forward slowly. "She would help you with these, if you wanted?"
"She's already helped me in making them heal faster. If they healed instantly, I'd be kept here for tests. As it is, they are curious. And it gives me time..." To reflect? To repent? Sam wasn't saying.
Michael just nodded quietly, continuing to move through the hallways back towards Sam's room.
Sam limped along with him, his hand around Michael's shoulder squeezing a bit with each step. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Though at this point, I'd be Hercules."
There were a few things that Sam knew wouldn't heal without asking for divine intervention. However, Sam was like his brother in that he kept some scars to remind him of his past. And while he had come to really believe that what Lucifer had done as him wasn't his fault... there was a part of him that would always hate knowing his involvement. It was his weaknesses that got him there, and he refused to be weak anymore. He'd always have a small limp from the way his hips had re-healed, and then there was the scar on his face that was a cut above and below the eye and halfway down his cheek.
Dean had always said that chicks dug scars. Though he wasn't going to be flirting with anyone anymore. He was completely happy and set in his choice, and couldn't wait to get out of the hospital to fulfill it.
He just wished that his brother could be there to see it. Or make jokes about being with Ruby. Anything. Maybe one day...
Sam had finished his morning PT session and was taking a quick nap. Ruby had been at his side constantly, but he urged her to just get out for a few hours and do something for herself. He would be fine. So once she was gone, he just curled up (as much as he could in the bandages and air cast on his leg) and let himself drift off to sleep.
When Sam woke up, he would find a familiar looking set of keys, sitting on the bedside table next to him. If he actually managed to get up and get to the window, he'd find the beloved family car sitting in the parking lot, waiting to be driven.
Sam woke up only a few minutes after the keys appeared. He had a sixth sense that knew when non-humans were around, but the presence has been so fleeting that it took time to register. His eyes focused on the keys and he sat up quickly as if they were going to attack him. Then he grabbed the cane he had hooked on the edge of the bed and made his way to the window to in fact see the Impala parked on the top level of the parking garage - right where he could see it.
He pursed his lips, then turned back to the keys before looking heavenward. "Dean?" he asked softly. His brother hadn't stuck around which pulled at him sadly. He limped over to pick up the keys and hid them in his sweatpants' pocket. Then he got an idea and grabbed his cane again, making his way slowly down the hallways and to the elevator, going down to the level with the hospital chapel.
When he walked in, there was another person kneeling and praying. Sam sat down and waited until the woman stood and left, then he leaned forward to rest his arms on the back of the next pew. "Dean, I don't know if you're listening... but I don't understand what to make of the car appearing. Are you up there watching over me? You know you don't have to hide from me... I... I miss you. A lot."
Michael was listening. He was listening and unsure of what to do, because he wasn't sure if he was ready for that kind of face to face interaction with Sam yet. Giving him the car, that was just a matter of practicality on Michael's part. Sam needed the car, and he was in the family, so that was where the car should go. There might had been the slightest bit of an emotional push from the Dean end of the spectrum, but Michael wasn't ready to acknowledge that yet. He was still -- adjusting to the whole thing. When Sam started to speak to him, though, he could feel the emotional ache to be close to his brother. Different from the emotional ache that had followed the rejection from Ben -- that had pushed Dean and his emotions further back, hiding away the stronger presence of the angel. But this was different. This was a -- longing of sorts. A need to be close to someone he wasn't close to anymore.
Michael knew the risk of going to Sam and having him react the same way Ben did -- in fact, he knew that if that was the reaction, it would be worse for Dean. Dean would just continue to hide, continue thinking that people couldn't accept him this way, and that what he had done was a mistake -- even if in the end, he knew that it wasn't. Michael also knew, however, that they were going to have to face Sam eventually, and the sooner they did this, the better. It might be more useful to helping him find his place in a world where he didn't seem to fit anywhere.
It was a long pause between Sam speaking and Michael actually appearing, sitting in the pew behind him. He knew that he still looked like the brother Sam remembered -- God had been kind enough to allow him to keep the body he was used to -- but there was no soul inside it. Only that of the angel. Which was comforting in its own right as well. He was quiet mostly -- Sam knew he was there, and he wasn't sure there was anything to say as of yet.
Yeah, Sam knew he was there, and part of him was afraid to turn around. But he felt the presence, and like all the other angels, there was an aura that he could feel that separated them all from each other. And he could feel Michael's... and it felt the way Dean always felt to him. He didn't even realize there were tears in his eyes until he reached up to wipe them. He wasn't sad through. He couldn't explain it. He was so happy to feel his presence behind him... but he could feel some of the changes and didn't know what to do.
Finally he lifted his head and gave a half smile as he looked at the stained glass window in front of them. "I want to understand what's going on," he said. "What this means for us now. I just got you back... I don't want to lose you again."
There was a surge of happiness and apprehension, and Michael wasn't sure how to respond at first. The emotions when it came to Sam were -- overwhelming -- and he was still trying to sort out what it all meant. This mixed bag from Dean wasn't helping any, but he knew that his emotional center wasn't exactly inclined to do him any favors. "I am angel, Sam. This may mean that I'm gone for long periods of time, as I do have other obligations that I'm expected to fulfill. I won't be -- here, all the time, as I was when I was human. In fact, I'm still struggling with certain things, so earth isn't exactly -- the most welcoming place for me to be at the moment."
Sam turned at that. It was Dean's voice, but so proper. It was like another person he was hearing, and he shifted so that he was looking at the angel behind him. There was no emotions displayed on his face that Sam could read. He had always been able to read his brother's face like a book - but now it was impossible. "Earth will never be a welcoming place. I don't feel welcome here... haven't for a long time. You have to fight to find that spot, and then hold onto it." He tilted his head a bit. "I know it can't go back to what we had. And if you hadn't chosen this path, I wouldn't be here either. I'm thankful for that, even if sometimes I wish you hadn't..." He sucked on his lip a moment. "I mean... you've sacrificed so much because of me. As both of you. It doesn't seem fair to any of us, but it happened and we have to continue on. And I know I can't... not without you."
Michael sighed slightly. This time the emotion was more of a relieved sigh that Sam wasn't angry. It didn't fix things, but on some level it helped. "You didn't deserve what was thrust upon you, Sam. And She didn't wish to see your end come at Lucifer's hands. Believe me when I say She did everything She knew how before deciding on what I needed to do." He paused again for a moment. "Besides, I don't regret taking my grace back. It's who I am. While Dean is a part of me, as well, I missed the angel I used to be. I missed my faith." He missed Her. It was an ache he felt, every day, because he knew that someone should have been there and they weren't.
"I get that. When I left Dean to take over the demon army... I forgot how to be human. There are still times I struggle to remember that I can't do certain things anymore. But I can't escape either half of me." He looked Michael in the eye. All the other angels made his hair stand on end, but in Michael's presence, it wasn't a problem. And with Michael talking about Dean as being something inside of him, there was a tiny loss of hope in his eyes before they brightened again as he thought of something. "You're always going to long for both worlds because of this. And you'll always have heaven. It's not going anywhere. But us? We only get so long. Part of being human. If you stay away too long... that part of you that's my brother may regret it when we're gone and all you have left is heaven, and he's alone in your world for eternity."
He saw that flicker in Sam's eyes, and he looked away, eyes wandering over the stations of the cross that were placed on the far wall. "Dean -- " He paused for a moment, before readdressing the situation. " -- I am still trying to -- assimilate -- the person who Dean was." He paused for a moment, before correcting his tense. "Is." That was better. "It is -- somewhat complicated, and there are some things that -- " He stopped again, trying to get the wording right. "It is not as though I am possessing Dean, and just sharing this body with him. Dean is me and I am him, and while you would think that it would be simple to readjust the two pieces of the puzzle back together -- it is not. Dean has so much more -- emotion. In fact, he has emotions and needs which I am still learning how to handle as angels weren't equipped to handle those kinds of things. Sympathy, compassion, love -- those were all built into us as we were charged with guidance and servitude. Anger, I am familiar with as well. But regret, apprehension, guilt, lust -- those I am not certain I know what to do with."
There was another pause, as he tried to put into context while he was telling Sam all this. "I am not the person I used to be. I am also not staying away because I prefer Heaven over this plane of existence. I am staying away because I do not want to say or do the wrong thing in order to jeopardize this family further." Because he could see the damage done, and didn't want to make things worse when he was still in a situation that he didn't understand. He knew, or at least felt, that Ben disappearing was his fault, and despite the fact that he still retained Dean's memories and knew ways of dealing with him, it wasn't his people skills that were the problem. It was the fact that Ben didn't see him as his father anymore and that hurt in a way neither Dean nor Michael hadn't been prepared for.
Sam saw the hurt register for a moment, and he nodded. He reached over, cautiously reached out for his brother's hand. "You'll start figuring it out, I know you will. It's confusing. But you can try by starting to feel a bit, and think less. I get that angels aren't wired to let their emotions run them, but they are great guides in helping you figure things out. This family's been through a lot, and it's our bonds and how much we care for each other that keeps us together. And you're a big part of it. Dean is... was the strength of all off us. Doing what you did saved probably all of us, but it also took away a keystone."
He thought for a moment. "It's about Ben, isn't it?" Ruby had told him that Ben had left Anna and lost contact with everyone. He was worried about his nephew and planned to royally ream him out when he resurfaced. Ruby had also mentioned, though, that Ben hadn't taken this easy.
"I am not trying to take that away. Some things just require -- patience." And he didn't respond to the question about Ben. His eyes just continued to follow the steps of the stations as they made their way around the room.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere. Hell, I'm not even leaving this place for another week or two." He shifted his hand so that he wasn't reaching, but instead just rested his hand on top of Michael's. "Not all of us have it. Ben wasn't born into this kind of world, and he has a hard time dealing with a lot of this. In two years he's watched both his parents die in his arms because of him, and not being able to see Dean in you immediately probably made him relive it all again. Those emotions that you don't understand are almost hypersensitive in him, and he can't handle them sometimes, especially when he's upset. You need to give him time and he will come back."
"I know." And he did. But things were still shaky for him, and he did have other reasons. "I have also been without my brothers for a very long time. They are my family as well, Sam. And I have been away from them for more than forty years."
Sam nodded. "I know. It's painful and tears at you. I've been there myself for 14 years, and it was my choice."
"Mine was my choice as well," he said slowly. "She asked me to do this, considering the risks. It wasn't an order."
"That's why I understand why you want to be with them. I don't blame you." Sam sighed and squeezed Michael's hand. "And as long as I live, I'm your brother too. And even if you don't fit in on earth, you'll always fit in with me. We've got time to get us figured out in how it's gonna work." He chuckled a bit to himself. "However, you're going to have to get used to being called Dean because there's no way I'm going to remember to call you Michael."
That got the faintest smile on Michael's face, before he nodded. "I figured as much." There was a pause as he tried to figure out the best way to speak about her. "Mary refuses to call me anything else." Another reason he had been staying in Heaven. Dean found it incredibly comforting being near his mother and father. Not that being near Sam wasn't comforting as well, but he had been missing them longer.
"... Mom?" That got Sam. Because he had never known her except for the one moment her ghost had appeared to him years ago. "She.. she did go to heaven then?" Tears instantly sprang to his eyes.
Michael nodded slowly. "She did. She had always been faithful, even in her darkest moments."
"And Dad?" He had so many people he wanted to know about. Jess. Madison. Others who had died along the way who shouldn't have because either he couldn't save them, or they tried to save him.
Michael nodded again. "John is working on becoming an angel himself."
"Dad? An angel?" Sam laughed, amazed. He then rubbed the back of his head. "I guess there's still a chance for me too, then."
"There always was," Michael nodded. "So long as you're repentant there is always a place in paradise."
"I had convinced myself a long time ago that my demon blood gave me a first class ticket to hell. Castiel told me there was a chance, but it's hard to believe sometimes."
"It's not what you are, Sam, it's the choices you make. And a lot of hard choices have been placed on your shoulders."
"I know." He looked at Michael a bit. It was like talking to a stranger, but not. He knew he would get used to the change, but he could also understand why Alec and Ben were thrown too. He wasn't sure what else to say on this line either, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "I asked Ruby to marry me."
Michael's head snapped up a bit in surprised, and his head canted a bit, an expression that he probably would have seen from Castiel if he had ever said anything to confuse the angel. "Congratulations?" He wasn't sure if that was the appropriate response or not. Neither parts of himself were.
"Thanks." Sam chuckled a bit. He was sure that was how Dean would have reacted anyway. And his explanation was one he was sure Michael would understand. "God told me that I'm due for some good times now. It felt like the right step in that direction."
"Then good for you," Michael said with a nod. "I hope you two are happy."
"I hope so too." Sam shifted and winced as his body reminded him that sitting in the hard pews wasn't the best thing he could be doing for his body. "Are you sure you want me to have the car. You're going to need it."
Michael shook his head. "Me keeping the car would be -- impractical. I can move places in the blink of an eye. I do not need her for transportation, but you do. She's in good hands."
Sam nodded. "Well, if you ever change your mind. Sometimes it's just nice to take a drive and see the beauty of the world and just think."
"I know," he nodded.
"And if you want to drive... I'll still ride shotgun."
That got Sam a small smile, and a nod. "I'd like that."
"Me too." Sam smiled back. He shifted again. "I should probably move before my body stiffens up. Want to take a walk or something? I hear the cafeteria has some good pie."
He paused for a moment, considering his options for a moment, carefully. "I will walk you back to your room, but there is something else I need to take care of. Maybe another time, though." He was curious about the pie. Dean loved it, but Michael wasn't sure he was sold.
"I'll keep you to that then." Sam got up and shifted his cane to be on the hurt side so that he could start walking in his slow, limping speed.
Michael nodded, before getting to his feet as well, moving with the strong steady gait of an angel next to him.
Sam got a good distance before he stumbled, falling into the wall to catch himself. He winced and closed his eyes, his arm wrenching a bit with the impact. "I swear, after I'm healed, I'm never going to let myself get this hurt again..."
"Let me help," Michael said gently, moving to take his brother's arm and going to support him.
He would have complained but this was Dean, so he didn't and instead let his brother take his arm and put it over his shoulder. He winced as he felt his muscles spasm a bit, but he took a deep breath and gave a small smile. "Already slipping back into old roles of you taking care of me," he pointed out with a soft chuckle.
He smiled slightly, before starting to move them forward slowly. "She would help you with these, if you wanted?"
"She's already helped me in making them heal faster. If they healed instantly, I'd be kept here for tests. As it is, they are curious. And it gives me time..." To reflect? To repent? Sam wasn't saying.
Michael just nodded quietly, continuing to move through the hallways back towards Sam's room.
Sam limped along with him, his hand around Michael's shoulder squeezing a bit with each step. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Though at this point, I'd be Hercules."