The entrance post is fucking AWESOME. Seriously, fucking awesome. Scary and painful and just, yeah. Great.
I like the changes you made on her personality section. The background and all the rest look fine, don't see anything missing.
One line struck me as awkward: Dragged to their other food by crawlers... Personally I would say: Dragged to their nest by crawlers...
It's nitpicky, but that seriously was the only sentence that sounded odd to me. Otherwise, the content looks complete. You've got no fucking clue how excited I am.
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I like the changes you made on her personality section. The background and all the rest look fine, don't see anything missing.
One line struck me as awkward: Dragged to their other food by crawlers... Personally I would say: Dragged to their nest by crawlers...
It's nitpicky, but that seriously was the only sentence that sounded odd to me. Otherwise, the content looks complete. You've got no fucking clue how excited I am.
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