lonestar
lonestar
in a world filled with people, where are you?
onew/jonghyun
g
995 words
I pick up a stone
that I cast to the sky
Hoping for some kind of sign
- Lonestar; Norah Jones
rain hammered down from the dark sky above. whether the clouds were truly grey or it was past ten at night, it was hard to tell. the streets were still filled with cars, their headlamps illuminating the raindrops falling effortlessly onto the ground, making the view look strangely similar to film grain. people brisk walked past one another in their thick trench coats and umbrellas, sheltering their bodies from the cold, wet weather. some umbrellas were protecting couples huddling together underneath in attempts to keep themselves warm, giggling at each other’s clumsiness, emitting a tooth-aching sweetness in the somber atmosphere. it was painful to watch, vomit-inducing even, but only to those who paid attention.
he clicked his tongue in disgust and simultaneously rolled his eyes. the sight of a pair in love with their own various displays of affection was revolting. he found it inappropriate that one should be able to grin on a night like this, with such gloomy weather looming over the area. he wanted nothing more than to destroy those smiles, to stomp on their bliss and crush it until it was nothing more than bits and pieces of past memories to be washed away by time. he wanted to drag everyone down with him; if he couldn’t be happy, no one should be. it wasn’t fair, no matter how he tried to wrap his mind around it, it just was not justifiable to him. he deserved as much as everyone else, he had been faithful and pure, that should count for something, no?
it wasn’t his fault, and yet he was left filled with questions and regrets months after, while the other had moved on smoothly, contented with a new life.
happy.
☂
he leaned against the window of what seemed like a bakery closed for the day, exposed to the pouring rain. he didn’t have anything with him but himself, as it had been for the past few months. the flickering streetlamp opposite him seemed to be mocking his current state, giggling at his sheer degradation. he couldn’t recall his purpose for waiting at this very spot, but he had a feeling that it was due to him clinging onto false hope. his clothes were soaked, his hair was sticking to his face and amidst how drenched he was, his expression remained stiff and emotionless. he thought had numbed himself to solitude, that he didn’t need anybody and whoever had someone was needy, desperate and too afraid of being alone. many times, he tried to tell himself that he wasn’t wrong, and many times, he failed.
he tilted his head upwards to look at the sky. at the corner of his vision, the tiny beads beating down on him flew past swiftly as they continue to hit him like bullets, millions of them attempting to penetrate through his hard outer shell. the sky was slate blue, without stars or any visible signs of clouds. it was a pure shade, a purely dark shade. when was the last time i even witnessed such a scenery, he scoffed. it was hilarious how he could find such a view beautiful, relatable to the condition of his heart even. it was so cheesy he was pretty sure that he going to hurl right there.
slumping his shoulders, he shielded his eyes with his hands and let out a heavy sigh. he had had enough, he couldn’t take it anymore. all he wanted was to have one person he could trust; a person he could count on, a person he may spend the rest of his life with, if not, the near-future. it wasn’t much to ask for, it wasn’t a demanding request. he yearned for someone, anyone to hear him out, but his pride always got in the way - as it did then, as it did many times before, as it did now.
☂
as he slid his fingers down his face, he felt the rain let up. he didn’t feel the drumming of raindrops on his shoulders, but he could still hear it. his spot became particularly dry, and it was as if something was looming over him. he looked down and saw that a wide circular shadow had engulfed his own. his eyes widened and he turned to his right, where he was greeted by the face of another human being. he flinched and took a few steps back, warily analyzing the man before him. he was wearing a brown coat and had gloves clutching the umbrella covering the two of them, along with thin, round spectacles framing his single-lidded eyes; those eyes. they were gentle, approachable, mesmerizing. the softness in his concerned gaze wrapped itself around his heart, hugging it tightly. he felt bad for reacting so impolitely to such a kind gesture, one that he hadn’t received in a very long time.
at a lost of words, the combination of stuttering consonants and his futile effort to form a proper phrase or sentence was making communication quite a pain, not to mention his lack of human interaction being a huge handicap to him. he looked right into the man’s eyes, hoping that somehow, he would get his message through a meager method such as eye contact. the man blushed and his lips pursed instantly. he could feel his ears starting to heat up as his lips quivered, his voice barely audible. the both of them continued to stare at each other, frozen in their positions as silence serenaded them to a clumsy waltz of hand gestures and embarrassed expressions.
the streetlamp above no longer flickered, and the rain transformed into a light drizzle. there was barely anyone else in the vicinity, aside from the few vehicles that flashed past them. there was a bizarre calmness, a tranquility that washed over the streets, easing into the late hours of night.
“Hey.”
a/n: another first fic that i've written in a long time. heavily inspired by norah jones' lonestar (thus the title + the quote). i actually wrote this not too long ago? but i knew that it was a mess and had to work on it later, and well, i did it. i feel kind of worried since i didn't have a beta for this haha orz i'm trying to ease myself back into a habit of writing, but i hope you guys liked it! thank you for reading!
in a world filled with people, where are you?
onew/jonghyun
g
995 words
I pick up a stone
that I cast to the sky
Hoping for some kind of sign
- Lonestar; Norah Jones
rain hammered down from the dark sky above. whether the clouds were truly grey or it was past ten at night, it was hard to tell. the streets were still filled with cars, their headlamps illuminating the raindrops falling effortlessly onto the ground, making the view look strangely similar to film grain. people brisk walked past one another in their thick trench coats and umbrellas, sheltering their bodies from the cold, wet weather. some umbrellas were protecting couples huddling together underneath in attempts to keep themselves warm, giggling at each other’s clumsiness, emitting a tooth-aching sweetness in the somber atmosphere. it was painful to watch, vomit-inducing even, but only to those who paid attention.
he clicked his tongue in disgust and simultaneously rolled his eyes. the sight of a pair in love with their own various displays of affection was revolting. he found it inappropriate that one should be able to grin on a night like this, with such gloomy weather looming over the area. he wanted nothing more than to destroy those smiles, to stomp on their bliss and crush it until it was nothing more than bits and pieces of past memories to be washed away by time. he wanted to drag everyone down with him; if he couldn’t be happy, no one should be. it wasn’t fair, no matter how he tried to wrap his mind around it, it just was not justifiable to him. he deserved as much as everyone else, he had been faithful and pure, that should count for something, no?
it wasn’t his fault, and yet he was left filled with questions and regrets months after, while the other had moved on smoothly, contented with a new life.
happy.
☂
he leaned against the window of what seemed like a bakery closed for the day, exposed to the pouring rain. he didn’t have anything with him but himself, as it had been for the past few months. the flickering streetlamp opposite him seemed to be mocking his current state, giggling at his sheer degradation. he couldn’t recall his purpose for waiting at this very spot, but he had a feeling that it was due to him clinging onto false hope. his clothes were soaked, his hair was sticking to his face and amidst how drenched he was, his expression remained stiff and emotionless. he thought had numbed himself to solitude, that he didn’t need anybody and whoever had someone was needy, desperate and too afraid of being alone. many times, he tried to tell himself that he wasn’t wrong, and many times, he failed.
he tilted his head upwards to look at the sky. at the corner of his vision, the tiny beads beating down on him flew past swiftly as they continue to hit him like bullets, millions of them attempting to penetrate through his hard outer shell. the sky was slate blue, without stars or any visible signs of clouds. it was a pure shade, a purely dark shade. when was the last time i even witnessed such a scenery, he scoffed. it was hilarious how he could find such a view beautiful, relatable to the condition of his heart even. it was so cheesy he was pretty sure that he going to hurl right there.
slumping his shoulders, he shielded his eyes with his hands and let out a heavy sigh. he had had enough, he couldn’t take it anymore. all he wanted was to have one person he could trust; a person he could count on, a person he may spend the rest of his life with, if not, the near-future. it wasn’t much to ask for, it wasn’t a demanding request. he yearned for someone, anyone to hear him out, but his pride always got in the way - as it did then, as it did many times before, as it did now.
☂
as he slid his fingers down his face, he felt the rain let up. he didn’t feel the drumming of raindrops on his shoulders, but he could still hear it. his spot became particularly dry, and it was as if something was looming over him. he looked down and saw that a wide circular shadow had engulfed his own. his eyes widened and he turned to his right, where he was greeted by the face of another human being. he flinched and took a few steps back, warily analyzing the man before him. he was wearing a brown coat and had gloves clutching the umbrella covering the two of them, along with thin, round spectacles framing his single-lidded eyes; those eyes. they were gentle, approachable, mesmerizing. the softness in his concerned gaze wrapped itself around his heart, hugging it tightly. he felt bad for reacting so impolitely to such a kind gesture, one that he hadn’t received in a very long time.
at a lost of words, the combination of stuttering consonants and his futile effort to form a proper phrase or sentence was making communication quite a pain, not to mention his lack of human interaction being a huge handicap to him. he looked right into the man’s eyes, hoping that somehow, he would get his message through a meager method such as eye contact. the man blushed and his lips pursed instantly. he could feel his ears starting to heat up as his lips quivered, his voice barely audible. the both of them continued to stare at each other, frozen in their positions as silence serenaded them to a clumsy waltz of hand gestures and embarrassed expressions.
the streetlamp above no longer flickered, and the rain transformed into a light drizzle. there was barely anyone else in the vicinity, aside from the few vehicles that flashed past them. there was a bizarre calmness, a tranquility that washed over the streets, easing into the late hours of night.
“Hey.”
a/n: another first fic that i've written in a long time. heavily inspired by norah jones' lonestar (thus the title + the quote). i actually wrote this not too long ago? but i knew that it was a mess and had to work on it later, and well, i did it. i feel kind of worried since i didn't have a beta for this haha orz i'm trying to ease myself back into a habit of writing, but i hope you guys liked it! thank you for reading!