Still the riddle lies
Well, as no end of the hiatus is in view just yet (and what if I had Jan. 28 on countdoun?) I'm ambling through SPN seasons, in the meantime, ficcing my way, occasionally, through sporadic bouts of nostalgia.
The utter heartbreak of 'Jump the Shark' (on Dean's part, mostly, as it so often is) captivates me to no end. By far, that is the episode I ( Read more... )
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And the heartbreaking thought that neither one of them is seeing John's reasons correctly.
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Dean was in such a dark place upon learing of not only having faltered in Hell but also having broken the seal, whereas his Dad withstood the ordeal, I wouldn't put it past Dean to relapse into belief he didn't deserve John's sacrifice. Which is obviously not true.
Actually, I do tend to believe Sam's reasoning, as I tried to pinpoint here, is closer to John's rationale behind keeping Adam a secret. John wanted to protect the 'sudden' son and try and get a clean slate at 'proper' parenthood, but I do think he was also afraid of Dean's reaction, afraid Dean would feel betrayed on behalf of his Mom. In the end, Dean still felt betrayed, but for different reasons. And Adam still ended up dead. Ergo - heratbreak all around.
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There was a distinct quality to Dean's love. A clear-water magnitude that would inevitably hoist you up to someone you could be, given time and effort. Someone better, braver, kinder, stronger.
YES. This is brilliant. So well put. Dean has such keen instincts, save for if it has anything to do with the way he is being perceived by others. He's so aptly wrong here. And I love how Sam, in the wake of all that's happening with Ruby, is glad his Dad never had to see that kind of disappointment on Dean's face. Just... ouch. Dean really has no idea what kind of power he has over the people he's close to. NO IDEA.
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I'm beyond thrilled this managed to work on the meta-level. Hoped so much it would.
Yeah, indeed, wrapped up in many a woeful self-deprecation issue, Dean is, more often than not, far from aware how much his appreciation is valued and craved, in actuality; how much *he* is appreciated. Just wish he'd got the idea stated more explicitly to him, at times, from those he holds dearest.
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You nicely gave us a look into each of their thoughts. Sadly as borgmama1of5 said neither of them got it exactly right. This very neatly show the complex dynamic in the Winchester family. Well done.
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I'm excited the jarring and often tragic ambiguity of the Winchesters' dynamics managed to work for you in this little drabble.
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Yeah, the issue of all of the Winchester men's repeated inability to accurately grasp each other's respective needs/motives adds up to a whole world of heartbreak.
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p.s. your tags for this post are awesome. XD
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The whole issue of Adam and the angle it skewed Dean's and John's 'post-mortem' relationship onto is, by far, one the most painful things for me to contemplate, due for the most part to Dean's imminent heartbreak and rueful epiphany and yet, steadfast acceptance (with the hefty load of self-flagellation, given Dean's state-of-self at that point in the show, thrown into the mix).
I'm glad this little take on interpreting the sad dysfunctional mess that are the Winchester men managed to work for you!
ETA: Oh, I know my tagging system is not quite transparent (apart from the obvious stuff) and I'm probably due a separate tag-disambiguation post, but I'm thrilled you happen to like them. I kinda always secretly hope my tags manage to function as a micro-meta in and of themselves, on some level.
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