Fic: Dysfunctional but Happy [Cabin Pressure]
And so I take my first, hesitant steps into a new fandom...
Title: Dysfunctional but Happy
Fandom: Cabin Pressure
Characters: Carolyn, Martin. No pairings, though Carolyn may have a little crush on Douglas (who doesn't?)
Rating: G
Wordcount: ~1,000
A/N: This is a fill for Fitton (1x06) Martin and Carolyn chat in the galley - and we find out why she's keeping Gertie. Written in response to the prompt here (sorry it's not quite what you asked for). Thanks to enigel for the transcript.
Martin was still humming "Busy Doing Nothing" to himself under his breath when Carolyn staggered into the galley.
"Hello, Martha," she giggled, lurching a little as she pulled down the jumpseat to perch opposite him. "Turbulent flight, isn't it?"
"Hello Carolyn," he replied, drink still dulling the edges of his diction. He picked at the sleeve of the unfamiliar uniform, tracing the steward's stripes with his thumb. "I think Douglas is doing a pretty good job without me."
He'd noted, with teeth-grating envy, the textbook takeoff. He'd tried to find fault with the initial manoeuvres. He'd even attempted to scoff at Arthur's cabin address but he was starting to get the distinct impression that he wasn't needed.
"What's up with you, Captain Longface?"
"It's the EasyJet job. I rescheduled the interview. Well, I heard back from them a few days ago and I was trying to find a way of telling you..."
"Ah. I expected as much. Well, serves you right for trying to desert MJN Air. I hope they let you down gently at least"
"No, Carolyn. They...they offered it to me."
"Oh." She paused and Martin braced himself for a stream of inventive insults. "Oh. Well. Congratulations."
"Congratulations?"
"Yes - I hope you and Stelios will be very happy together. When's the big day?"
"Look, Carolyn, I haven't made up my mind yet..."
"Well hurry up. I have things to do. Wallcharts to rearrange."
"Oh, well, if that's the way you feel about it - I can leave as soon as you like. It's not as if you'll have to pay me my notice."
A hot, angry silence filled the galley.
"Martin - this is very selfish of you."
"Oh yes! Taking a job where I'll be paid and, possibly even respected instead of staying here for no money and all the insults you and Douglas can come up with."
"But you can't go! I need you."
Martin's face, never less than pink at the best of times, flushed to a deep brick-red.
"Carolyn. That's the nicest thing you've... the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"I need a captain."
"You don't need a captain, you've got Douglas."
Carolyn sighed wearily.
"I do indeed, as you so rightly point out, have Douglas. Which is why I need a Captain."
"Arthur seems to be doing a good impression of a captain," said Martin, mournfully.
"Arthur? A captain. Oh, Martin - if Douglas can get you to drop a confectionery brick on a children's party, imagine what he'd persuade Arthur to do. No. You're an uptight, over-cautious, stick-in-the-mud..."
"Thanks!"
"...Which is why you're irreplaceable. There's nothing else for it." She slumped back against the bulkhead and sighed. "Remind me to telephone my ex-husband when we get home. I'll tell him he can take Gertie."
"What? Why?"
"I need a captain. But I can't afford to pay a captain. And I certainly can't afford the mayhem Douglas would unleash without a captain. So that's that."
"But this airline," said Martin. Carolyn opened her mouth to correct him, "okay, air-dot. It's your business."
"Wrong, Martin. It's not a business. Businesses occasionally run the risk of making money. This is a family." she ran a hand over her face and added, quietly, "And it seems that you can't choose your family. However much you might want to."
"And am I part of it? This family?"
"Of course! I'm your mother and commander in chief. You're like the idiot son I already have. In case I need a spare," Martin's face fell. "and Douglas is...is..." She trailed off.
"What? Douglas is what?" Carolyn stared at her hands and said nothing. "Oh Carolyn," Martin breathed.
"That's between you and me and - if I thought there was a chance you'd remember this conversation when you sober up - it would just be between me and the very large glass of whisky I'm about to pour myself," She reached for the bottle as she continued "He'd run a mile if he knew I thought... what I think, so this goes no further. I can't have both my pilots deserting me if I'm going to sell MJN as a going concern."
"Listen. Carolyn. When I said earlier that I hadn't made up my mind, I meant that I hadn't made up my mind whether to take the EasyJet job or not."
"Really?" Carolyn stopped pouring and looked up in surprise.
"I mean, it would pay well - or at least, it would pay. But I wouldn't be captain. And," he held out his glass for a refill, "There'd be no film stars, or Scottish cricket teams. And there'd be no Arthur. And no you. And no...Douglas. And the van business is going okay, so I could carry on really. But it's just...not very sensible is it?"
"I'll let you in on a little secret, Martin. You don't get any wiser as you get older. You just get older. Look at me: running MJN Air at a colossal deficit just because, frankly, I don't know what else I'd do with my life. And I like saying it, if I'm honest. Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, CEO, MJN Air. Sounds like the kind of woman that's still hale, hearty, possibly even reasonably attractive. Mrs Knapp-Shappey, OAP? No. I'm not ready to be her yet. And anyway. I enjoy the company. And the opportunity to send Arthur to the other side of the world with you two when he's being particularly annoying."
Martin swirled the whisky in his glass, spilling it all over the sleeve of his jacket.
"Then I'll stay. I know you'll pay me one day. And in the meantime the van is going well. I could even manage a loan if you like."
"Have you got £20,000 to overhaul the avionics?"
"Ah - no. But I could probably pay to get that dodgy No Smoking sign fixed."
"Thank you Martin, but no. I think MJN Air will just about manage to keep limping along as it is, if Mr Goddard doesn't demand too much of an 'Intoxicated Cabin Crew' discount. And if you stop trying to sneak away."
"I will. By the way - I've been meaning to ask for ages. What does MJN stand for?"
"That, Martin, is between me and my ex-husband. Whom I shall be ringing, as soon as we get back to Fitton. I'm quite looking forward to telling him to sod off. A toast, I think," she said, raising her glass. "To my dysfunctional little family. Cheers."
Title: Dysfunctional but Happy
Fandom: Cabin Pressure
Characters: Carolyn, Martin. No pairings, though Carolyn may have a little crush on Douglas (who doesn't?)
Rating: G
Wordcount: ~1,000
A/N: This is a fill for Fitton (1x06) Martin and Carolyn chat in the galley - and we find out why she's keeping Gertie. Written in response to the prompt here (sorry it's not quite what you asked for). Thanks to enigel for the transcript.
Martin was still humming "Busy Doing Nothing" to himself under his breath when Carolyn staggered into the galley.
"Hello, Martha," she giggled, lurching a little as she pulled down the jumpseat to perch opposite him. "Turbulent flight, isn't it?"
"Hello Carolyn," he replied, drink still dulling the edges of his diction. He picked at the sleeve of the unfamiliar uniform, tracing the steward's stripes with his thumb. "I think Douglas is doing a pretty good job without me."
He'd noted, with teeth-grating envy, the textbook takeoff. He'd tried to find fault with the initial manoeuvres. He'd even attempted to scoff at Arthur's cabin address but he was starting to get the distinct impression that he wasn't needed.
"What's up with you, Captain Longface?"
"It's the EasyJet job. I rescheduled the interview. Well, I heard back from them a few days ago and I was trying to find a way of telling you..."
"Ah. I expected as much. Well, serves you right for trying to desert MJN Air. I hope they let you down gently at least"
"No, Carolyn. They...they offered it to me."
"Oh." She paused and Martin braced himself for a stream of inventive insults. "Oh. Well. Congratulations."
"Congratulations?"
"Yes - I hope you and Stelios will be very happy together. When's the big day?"
"Look, Carolyn, I haven't made up my mind yet..."
"Well hurry up. I have things to do. Wallcharts to rearrange."
"Oh, well, if that's the way you feel about it - I can leave as soon as you like. It's not as if you'll have to pay me my notice."
A hot, angry silence filled the galley.
"Martin - this is very selfish of you."
"Oh yes! Taking a job where I'll be paid and, possibly even respected instead of staying here for no money and all the insults you and Douglas can come up with."
"But you can't go! I need you."
Martin's face, never less than pink at the best of times, flushed to a deep brick-red.
"Carolyn. That's the nicest thing you've... the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"I need a captain."
"You don't need a captain, you've got Douglas."
Carolyn sighed wearily.
"I do indeed, as you so rightly point out, have Douglas. Which is why I need a Captain."
"Arthur seems to be doing a good impression of a captain," said Martin, mournfully.
"Arthur? A captain. Oh, Martin - if Douglas can get you to drop a confectionery brick on a children's party, imagine what he'd persuade Arthur to do. No. You're an uptight, over-cautious, stick-in-the-mud..."
"Thanks!"
"...Which is why you're irreplaceable. There's nothing else for it." She slumped back against the bulkhead and sighed. "Remind me to telephone my ex-husband when we get home. I'll tell him he can take Gertie."
"What? Why?"
"I need a captain. But I can't afford to pay a captain. And I certainly can't afford the mayhem Douglas would unleash without a captain. So that's that."
"But this airline," said Martin. Carolyn opened her mouth to correct him, "okay, air-dot. It's your business."
"Wrong, Martin. It's not a business. Businesses occasionally run the risk of making money. This is a family." she ran a hand over her face and added, quietly, "And it seems that you can't choose your family. However much you might want to."
"And am I part of it? This family?"
"Of course! I'm your mother and commander in chief. You're like the idiot son I already have. In case I need a spare," Martin's face fell. "and Douglas is...is..." She trailed off.
"What? Douglas is what?" Carolyn stared at her hands and said nothing. "Oh Carolyn," Martin breathed.
"That's between you and me and - if I thought there was a chance you'd remember this conversation when you sober up - it would just be between me and the very large glass of whisky I'm about to pour myself," She reached for the bottle as she continued "He'd run a mile if he knew I thought... what I think, so this goes no further. I can't have both my pilots deserting me if I'm going to sell MJN as a going concern."
"Listen. Carolyn. When I said earlier that I hadn't made up my mind, I meant that I hadn't made up my mind whether to take the EasyJet job or not."
"Really?" Carolyn stopped pouring and looked up in surprise.
"I mean, it would pay well - or at least, it would pay. But I wouldn't be captain. And," he held out his glass for a refill, "There'd be no film stars, or Scottish cricket teams. And there'd be no Arthur. And no you. And no...Douglas. And the van business is going okay, so I could carry on really. But it's just...not very sensible is it?"
"I'll let you in on a little secret, Martin. You don't get any wiser as you get older. You just get older. Look at me: running MJN Air at a colossal deficit just because, frankly, I don't know what else I'd do with my life. And I like saying it, if I'm honest. Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, CEO, MJN Air. Sounds like the kind of woman that's still hale, hearty, possibly even reasonably attractive. Mrs Knapp-Shappey, OAP? No. I'm not ready to be her yet. And anyway. I enjoy the company. And the opportunity to send Arthur to the other side of the world with you two when he's being particularly annoying."
Martin swirled the whisky in his glass, spilling it all over the sleeve of his jacket.
"Then I'll stay. I know you'll pay me one day. And in the meantime the van is going well. I could even manage a loan if you like."
"Have you got £20,000 to overhaul the avionics?"
"Ah - no. But I could probably pay to get that dodgy No Smoking sign fixed."
"Thank you Martin, but no. I think MJN Air will just about manage to keep limping along as it is, if Mr Goddard doesn't demand too much of an 'Intoxicated Cabin Crew' discount. And if you stop trying to sneak away."
"I will. By the way - I've been meaning to ask for ages. What does MJN stand for?"
"That, Martin, is between me and my ex-husband. Whom I shall be ringing, as soon as we get back to Fitton. I'm quite looking forward to telling him to sod off. A toast, I think," she said, raising her glass. "To my dysfunctional little family. Cheers."