dirty dishes and fear

[warmsound]

Its strange how fears can creep up on you.  For the last couple of weeks, I've been saying that I'm looking forward to classes starting again.  And it's true.  I've always looked forward to the start of a new semester.  But there's always that Day Before Fear.

Even before the Day Before, you know it's coming.  The vague sense of it coming up behind

Comments

[happyonthemoon]

oh Lissy. that little bugger of a gremlin and i are very familiar companions. he follows me around, whispering to me. he reminds me of what i haven't done, what i said i would do, laughs at me when i do something i know i shouldn't, repeats all my doubts to me, convinces me i'm silly and unloved and don't deserve any of what makes me happy. he creates a pressure in my whole chest cavity, a heaviness in my head and a tightness in my throat. it's like being hungrier than you've ever been, your chest might cave in and you might not be able to breathe for much longer... he's a nasty asshole

[warmsound]

I love you. Your gremlin is just like mine. Nasty little assholes, indeed.

But *gasp*! Not the keyboard. Oh no. Have I ever told you about my abhorrence of the keyboard? Oh dear. LOL Though I do agree, the piano does reduce the leg spasms. But still.

FECK! Haha! I missed that! Aww!

Again, I love you. *mwah*

[happyonthemoon]

nope, not familiar with the abhorrence of the poor keyboard. we will have to discuss this in-depth.

[gingerhaole]

1. You can do anything you want to do, you know that. Since we're anthropomorphicizing (sp?!) your neuroses, let's make Bravery into a big, buff, handsome knight. And for the heck of it, let's make him look like, oh, say, Taylor Hanson. And our big, buff, handsome knight ain't scared a no piddling gremlins. Ha! He's slain dragons, mental disorders and your general everyday nasty fears---ain't no gremlin gonna make him flinch. So you shove your big, buff, handsome knight in front of that pissant gremlin and watch him take his head of *snickersnak!* like that.

You can ask yourself What if? a billion times, and it's not going to help you get anything done. You just do it. Then you go and make love to your big, buff, handsome knight.

02. Regarding your Cleveland suggestion: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. NO. I wouldn't know what the hell to ask, and even if I did, I couldn't grasp a pen to write their answers down. It would be an exercise in personal humiliation. Contrary to #1. :) But you're sweet to suggest such a

[warmsound]

You know, you are like 20 different kinds of wonderful. You're like a Personal Cheerleading Squad and then some. Only without all that annoying jumping and clapping business. LOL ;)

I like the idea of Bravery as a big, buff, handsome knight. Indeed. And you're right. All Nike connotations aside, I do need to just do it. Hehe.

About the Cleveland thing: I can understand. I'd be the same way. I probably wouldn't be able to get a coherant sentence out; lord knows I couldn't at the meet & greet. Oy. But still. In any case, I really hope you do meet them, or at least one of them at the Cleveland show. Before or after.

Thank you for the comment, Lily. I love you. :)

[kit_a_licious]

I understand all those fears very well. I feel the same thing when I think of my own future that doesn't even have school in it. I'm with you. But I understand at the same time, we can't let these fears take us over. I agree with what my sister said -- chase 'em away any way you can.

Feel better.

[warmsound]

Thank you, Kit. :) It honestly does help to know that I'm not alone. But you, and your sister, are right - letting such fears take over needs to be avoided.

Much love to you. :)

[silveripseity]

I get that sort of fear on occasion -- mainly when I have to face the next step in my life. I was terrified of college, then I got there and it wasn't so bad. I was terrified of switching majors, then I did it and it worked out fine. i was terrified of graduating, but then I had no real trouble finding a job. :) Really, we make life out to be this huge, scary thing, when I think we should all be seeing it as an opportunity.

Right now I am grappling with the fact that I feel like I should be doing bigger and better things. I need to move somewhere else, I know -- and EVERYONE, everyone I work with tells me I can do it. That I can move and work for a prestigious agency. But I'm terrified to move. :) I need to slap that gremlin in the face. Point is, don't be afraid. :)

[warmsound]

Thank you for the comment, Ella. :) I definitely get that sort of fear before a next step in my own life, too. I think that actually might be why I'm getting it as much as I am right now, with this semester about to start - because this is my last semester at SCSU, before I transfer to a new school, somewhere else. There is a lot riding on this semester for me, because I need to get my GPA up.

But you're right. We should all be seeing life as an opportunity. I'm trying now, more and more, to look at it that way. :)

[tiny_dancer]

okay, just saw this, but like...collpasing in tiredness. Will try to comment tomorrow, Thursday at the latest. Tons of love and hugs.

[warmsound]

I saw this last night, but didn't get around to replying. Just wanted to say: thank you, honey. Love and hugs right back atcha. :) I'll talk to you soon!