My first fic
So this is the first thing I have ever written... Nice comments would greatly ease my mind. X posted a bunch.
It’s Not Easy Being Green
By: abbysiuta
Pairings: Artie/Claudia
Rating: M
Disclaimers: I own nothing, this is just for fun.
Additional notes: Copious thanks to zombiechick for the encouragement to write this and for being an amazing beta.
Yes, nail polish like that really does exist. I had some. It also worked poorly.
This is the link Claudia was jamming to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLqb64Pb9So
Also, let’s pretend that this isn’t the “first time” this happened between them. I am not up for writing that…
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Claudia did not consider herself girly, in fact that word kinda grated on her, but she did secretly pride herself on having certain flair in the way she put herself together. Not just in reference to the buttons that she always had displayed on her leather jacket either.
Today she was excited to be wearing the new nail polish that she had found in the one drug store that their middle of nowhere South Dakota town had. It claimed to change color when exposed to sun and its glorious UV rays; quite a find for one of the fashion black holes of the country. Right now it was gold but, as soon as she got some sun, it should turn blue. Perfect for the girl who couldn’t decide what color to keep the streak in her hair for more than a week.
Unfortunately, being stuck in the warehouse doing inventory was unlikely to let her get to test her new polish anytime soon. “Sometimes I feel like I never get to breathe anything but old, dusty, artifacty air,” she muttered to herself as she strolled down the aisle, checking off items as she went. “Myka and Pete get to go to Miami to find some beach artifact that controls tides but me- I don’t even get enough sun to activate my nail polish.”
She turned the corner to an aisle she had never been down before, and stopped short; nearly crashing into one of the mailboxes that seemed to be ever present at the end aisles. “No way!” she exclaimed as she ran to the shelf. She read the screen just to confirm what she saw. “Original Kermit the Frog Muppet- created by Jim Henson, 1955.” She didn’t bother to read a single word more before the Muppet was on her right hand and the rods controlling his arms in her left.
“Hidee-ho, Kermit the frog here,” she said in her best Kermit voice. Then she exploded into “Ladies and Gentlemen, This is the MUPPET SHOW!” and proceeded to sing the entire theme song dancing around the aisle with Kermit as her partner. After a few more choice songs, including Rainbow Connection that always choked her up a little, she stopped and looked around. “Get a hold of yourself Claudia,” she scolded. You never know who is using the binoculars today. She knew that Artie would never let her forget this one if he had seen her dancing and reliving her love of Muppets while she had work to do.
She sighed a big, happy, nostalgic sigh, as she placed Kermit back onto his shelf. She wondered how many You Tube videos of old Muppet Show sketches she could get away with watching while she was supposed to be checking firewalls and computer safeguards. “Maybe Artie won’t be in the office this afternoon,” she thought.
As she walked back to the office, she noticed that her nails were now green instead of gold. She nodded happily, “must be enough UV from some artifact somewhere around here to get me halfway to nail polish splendor. Yellow and blue mix to green; gold must too.” She resolved to walk home to the B&B tonight - before dark- to see the full effects. “Gotta take the little things when you can around here,” she muttered.
Her wish to spend some office time sans Artie didn’t manifest itself. He was happily mapping, both on the computer and with his beloved sharpie and map, a recently resurfaced artifact. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she heard him muttering about Betty Ford and sobriety. “I bet Pete and Myka come home with quite the story after that one,” she thought.
She decided to risk a little off task time despite Artie being right there. It seemed that Kermit had started an avalanche of old Muppet memories, and she just didn’t feel motivated enough to fight them off. She had her headphones over just one ear so that she could make sure to pop up a virus sweep screen before Artie crashed her reminiscing session.
She didn’t realize that she was humming out loud until Artie called over from the map board, “That’s an old tune.”
“What?” she asked as she pulled the headphones off and quickly minimized her video.
“I didn’t think that Harry Belafonte was your style- or age group,” Artie stated walking over to where she sat. “Turn the World Around is a more 70’s kind of moment, and a little more “We Are the World” than your usual angsty music choices.” He smiled as he sat down in the chair at the computer next to hers.
She couldn’t help smiling back. That really was a damn good Muppet Show moment, but Artie was right. It wasn’t really her thing to Kumbaya with the world, she was way too jaded for that, but sometimes things just resonated. “It’s a leftover from my Muppet filled childhood,” she admitted. “That song, and the Muppets in general, just always made me smile, even when life was kicking my ass. That song, in particular, always just made me feel good” she shrugged as she said this, hoping it would get him onto another subject.
Artie chuckled and gave her a knowing look while he reached out and tucked her colored strand of hair behind her ear. “Always helpful to know another thing that makes you feel good,” he said in a throatier voice than normal. “And, I like the green hair; brings out the green in your eyes.” After another meaningful smile, he turned back to his desk and started tracking again.
It took Claudia a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Her streak of hair was blue wasn’t it? And while her eyes could, if she were being generous, be labeled hazel with a green tint, most people would call them a solid brown. She un-tucked her hair from her ear and glanced down. Nope, a very nice vivid green.
“I’m working too much for my own good if I’m forgetting when I change my hair,” she thought. And Artie must be romanticizing her eyes, though that wasn’t his style. Buttering her up for some nasty chore he’d give her right before quitting time. “Even more reason to sneak out early get some sun; burn off some cobwebs in the brain,” she grumped to herself as she went back to work, determined to finish without distraction and to get away before dinner.
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It turned out not to be as hard to focus as she thought. One of the safeguards she had set up, deep in the Warehouse network, was getting quite a workout from a nasty virus. It took her forever to deter it and clean up all the bits that it had left behind. It was one of those viruses that was designed to leave small annoying side effects everywhere- and it was well done. As much as these viruses wasted her time, Claudia did admire, from a technical standpoint, the way they were designed. It also helped that Artie had disappeared into the aisles somewhere and she had zero distractions.
She didn’t realize how much time she had spent looking exclusively at the screen in front of her until she realized that her shoulder and arm muscles were throbbing from hours of typing with no break. She let out a long breath, laced her fingers together, and stretched her arms out in front of her as she scooted her rolling chair back.
“What the hell?!” she exclaimed as she saw her hands in front of her. She was green. Not just nails or a streak of hair; she herself was green. All her exposed skin was now the shade of Kermit. She quickly pulled her t-shirt up and took a glance at her stomach; green as well. She hastily bent over and tore off her Converse and socks. Green feet and toes greeted her.
“No… No!” she whimpered as she swiftly checked the color of her tongue in the computer screen reflection. It looked as if she’d been sucking on lime popsicles all afternoon. In addition, all her hair was now green as well. “Crap,” she thought, “I am so busted.”
The only way that she could think to get out of this, without having to admit to her Kermit moment to Artie, was to find some artifact that would change her back to normal before he saw her again. Claudia glanced at her tool belt - nothing useful. Artie always kept tons of handy artifacts in the office, but the problem was that she didn’t know what the majority of them did. She didn’t think it wise to try them out randomly, especially since she was already in trouble for using an artifact when she didn’t know its effects.
She decided that she would try and look something up on the inventory list, and maybe take the zip line there if she had to. She did not even get past entering search parameters when Artie walked in the office door. Claudia quickly ducked under her desk and pretended to be looking for something that she dropped.
“Claudia, I was thinking it might be a good night for tacos and if we…” Artie trailed off as he came around the desk and was distracted by her ass and thighs sticking out from under the desk. The jeans were stretched tight against her small frame, and Artie quickly looked away to avoid his impulse of giving it a playful smack. He closed his eyes and exhaled quietly, trying to keep his focus.
“I just… dropped my bedazzled headband!” Claudia called out with sudden inspiration. “I know how much it means to you, and I don’t want to lose it.”
Artie opened his eyes with surprise and, when he did, he noticed something more than how well Claudia’s jeans fit. “Claudia, what did you get into this afternoon?” he asked chuckling and sitting down in his chair across from her.
“What do you mean?” Claudia said in a voice that sounded a little too guilty, even to her. “I’m just looking for my headband so I can finish my chores.”
“Mmm hmmm,” Artie hummed. “Then tell me, why are you barefoot in the office with green feet?”
Claudia froze under the desk, all pretenses gone. She sighed as she scooted backwards and sat down on the floor looking up at Artie with her bright green eyes. She tried to give a sheepish cute smile, hoping to avoid a lecture, and was pleasantly surprised when all he did was burst out into hearty laugher.
She began to whistle the opening bars of the Muppet Show theme while he wiped tears from his eyes. Artie nodded and leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands behind his neck. “You just couldn’t help yourself could you?” he asked as he shook his head, still chuckling, now fully understanding how the situation had come about.
Claudia shrugged and looked down at her lap. “I told you the Muppets made me feel good,” she grumped. “It was like fulfilling a childhood dream.” He was still laughing quietly as he turned and pulled open a drawer in his desk, which was a bit aggravating to Claudia. “It’s not like I blew something up, or let out some creature, or broke some piece of history,” she griped at him.
“Claudia, honey, calm down. I’m not trying to make you feel silly,” he soothed while rummaging in his drawer. “In fact, it’s nice to have some levity in my day. I can always count on you to make me smile,” he said in a gentle tone as he turned around and held out his hand. He dropped a small rectangular pink pearl eraser into her hand. “This will easily fix your issue.”
Claudia looked down at the eraser, and then back up at Artie. “An eraser?”
“One of the original batch of pink pearl erasers,” he corrected. “This is much more useful than the ones you used in school. It has the power to erase any substance back to its original state. Very useful for graffiti, revealing a hidden, old masterpiece, wrinkles - I even removed my tattoo with it.”
“Tattoo? What did you have…” Claudia questioned with one eyebrow raised but Artie cut her off with a shake of his head and a warning finger.
“Tweety Bird is never a good idea, no matter how wise it seems at the time,” he warned. Claudia made a mental note to come back to the subject at another time.
“But what is really important,” he continued, “is that you can use it to erase all your green off. Just don’t rub too hard; we don’t want to use up the entire eraser before you’re back to normal. I don’t have another one handy.”
Claudia sighed and started erasing her feet as Artie turned back around smiling. “I guess we’re eating in tonight after all.”
“Thanks for rubbing it in,” muttered Claudia before she realized the awful pun coming out of her mouth. Artie chuckled at her again, turned back to his computer, and went back to work.
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About half an hour later, still sitting on the floor in a semi-funk, Claudia had erased all of her skin and hair that she could reach. Well, all that she could reach without taking more clothes off. Her jeans were rolled up to her knees and she had rolled the sleeves of her t-shirt up to reach her upper arms. She had even erased her tongue, teeth, and the rest of the inside of her mouth, which had left a decidedly rubbery taste in her mouth for a few minutes. She had a sinking feeling that she had missed a lot of spots in areas that she couldn’t see, and that she was likely streaky and splotchy green on the back of her neck and face among other places.
She realized that she needed a full-length mirror to complete the task. She knew that the closest full-length mirror, which was not in the dark vault full of crazy Alice, was at the B&B and she really didn’t want to go out into the world until she was rid of the green. Leena didn’t need to know her mistake as well. They may have been back on ok terms, but she still didn’t want to feel vulnerable around her.
“Well, I guess I just keep erasing,” she sighed to herself as she slid off her t-shirt and resigned herself to more rubbing. “At least it’s nothing that Artie hasn’t seen before,” she thought to herself. She realized that she’d have to stand up to get all of her stomach erased, and suddenly, she smiled. She had a great idea how to make the rest of the erasing much more fun. She quickly erased a few strokes on her stomach, and then stood and purposely knocked a pile of Artie’s papers off the corner of his desk and onto the floor.
“Claudia, those were all organized by decade,” huffed Artie as he turned around to scold her. His eyes widened as he saw her there, in only her jeans and a shiny black bra, holding out the eraser to him, with “Help me?” erased on her green stomach. He sucked in his breath as he felt himself responding to her. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and exhaled, “Even partly green, you are lovely.”
Claudia blushed, which Artie thought was a sight to see as her erased skin turned pink and her green skin a deeper green. “I can’t reach my back,” she explained with a glint in her eye.
Artie smiled and grabbed her hand with the eraser in it, pulling her closer to him. “Then I suppose,” he said huskily, “I have no choice in the matter.”
Claudia surprised him by turning around and sitting on his lap while straddling his thighs, presenting her green back to him. “Nope,” she taunted as she slid her ass back into his lap.
Artie let out a long, shaky breath as he felt his erection pressing against her. “We’re in the Warehouse, Claudia,” he groaned as she wiggled against him. He put his hands on her shoulders and slid them down her sides to her waist, stopping her movement. “This isn’t wise.”
“Why?” Claudia asked as she reached around and unhooked her bra. She slid it off, and turned her head to smile back at him. “Pete and Myka are more than a thousand miles away and Leena is in full fledged spring cleaning mode at the B&B. I think we’re safe.” She craned her neck back and chekily bit his earlobe.
Artie sighed happily and realized he wasn’t winning this one. “Ok, ok,” he whispered as Claudia turned back around. “You know I can’t resist you for long.” He trailed a small row of kisses down the side of her neck to her shoulder blade, which raised goose bumps on Claudia’s exposed flesh.
“I was counting on that,” she murmured happily, pressing into him again.
Artie gently pushed her forward a little, and held out his hand. “First, before you get me too distracted, we erase.”
Claudia sighed and placed the half of an eraser in his hand. She leaned forward slightly so that Artie could reach all of her green back. He slowly dragged the eraser in stripes up and down her skin.
She shivered, half with the odd sensation of eraser against taught skin, and half with building desire. “Speed it up old man,” she warned, “or I will no longer be able to be held responsible for my actions.”
Artie chuckled and began placing a kiss onto her pink skin after each stroke. He loved the little gasp Claudia made each time his lips connected to her body. “Turn around,” he told her a few minutes later. “You’re nice and pink back here.”
Claudia turned around so that they were face to face. The sight of her eyes heavy with lust made his breath catch. He cupped her face in his hands; a gesture she loved since he was now doing it even with others around. He paused for a moment, “You may have to live with green eyes,” he conceded. “I’m not sure that erasing your eyelids will be enough to turn them back and I’m guessing that you don’t want me to erase your actual eyeballs.”
Claudia’s nose wrinkled, “I love you touching me, but that is a little too invasive.” She sighed and closed her eyes, “Let’s give it a try and see.” Artie gently erased each eyelid, still holding her face with his other hand. He realized that this was just as intimate, if not more, than some of their previous nights had been. “Look at me,” he whispered when he finished.
Claudia opened her eyes and gasped slightly when her vision was filled with Artie’s face that held the most open and loving expression that she had ever seen on it. He pulled her into a deep and emotional kiss before she could even say a word. She melted into his body wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her fingers in his soft curls.
When they both surfaced for air, Artie smiled and noted, “Back to their enchanting brown.”
Claudia let out a breath of relief and kissed him softly. “Thank you.”
Artie grinned and held up the eraser again. “You’re still a bit green,” he smirked with a gleam in his eye. He looked down at her breasts and pulled the eraser from her chin to her navel. “Hold still.”
Claudia closed her eyes and let the sensation of the eraser on her chest fill her senses. She could hear Artie’s breathing rate increase as he erased the underside of each small breast and then moved across each of her hardened nipples. She moaned when the eraser was followed by his warm tongue tracing the path it had just made. Impatient for more, she crept her hands under his shirt and stroked his chest, mirroring the motions his tongue was tracing across her body. She smiled when she felt the growl deep beneath her hands.
Claudia reluctantly pushed him back from her while pulling his shirt over his head. She dropped it on the floor and straightened his glasses that she had knocked askew. “Patience is not one of my better qualities, Artie,” she pleaded with a hungry look.
“I know, honey,” he chuckled and gently removed her from his lap and stood her in front of him. He held up the eraser and, with raised eyebrows, stated, “I can’t reach the rest of you while you still have clothes on.”
It did not take her long to remove her jeans and panties. As she stood naked and smiling before him, Artie could feel his skin flush and he struggled to keep himself from ripping off his own clothes and burying himself in her warm, partly green body.
He turned her around and carefully erased the back of her legs and her pert ass. He could smell the delicious fruity scent of Claudia, that he loved, mixed with her desire. He decided it was time to up the pace.
“Switch places with me,” he ordered getting up from the chair and pressing her small frame into it. He knelt before her and pulled the eraser in long slow strokes from her green knee to inner thigh. He could feel how wet she was from inches away, and saw her legs begin to tremble as he got closer and closer to her green curls.
He steadied his own legs, and tenderly parted her lips with his fingers, as he drew the eraser through the soft folds of her flesh. Claudia’s whole body shivered and she couldn’t hold back a moan of pure need. Artie blew on her softly to scatter the eraser dust.
“Artie, please!” she begged closing her eyes and gripping the armrests of the chair so hard that her knuckles turned white.
Artie put down the eraser and leaned in to trail his tongue up Claudia’s legs until he could taste her. “I will never get tired of this,” he thought as he licked her trembling clit. He loved the sounds that she made as she got closer and closer to orgasm. He loved knowing that it was him who was making her feel that way. He wondered if he’d ever stop feeling so damn lucky that she reciprocated the intensity of his feelings.
Artie felt Claudia’s body stiffen as she cried his name and came. He continued his ministrations until he felt her pulsing stop. He leaned back keeping one hand on her knee, not wanting to break contact, and a happy grin spread over his face as he saw her limp and content, lying back in his chair.
After a minute, Claudia sat up and then joined him on the floor. “Is all the green gone?” she asked, her eyes still hungry. Artie nodded in affirmation. “Good; time for me to properly thank you.” She pushed him down onto the Oriental rug and tugged at his belt.
Artie gasped as her hands brushed against his straining erection. “No objections to any gratitude,” he panted as she stripped him, not even caring that they were knocking over his stacks of paperwork from the last week that were all around the floor of his desk.
Within moments, she had him fully in her mouth and then her agile hands wrapped around him stroked in rhythm with her tongue and lips. Artie moaned as he felt his arousal reach a new level. As much as he loved this, he needed to stop her before it was all over too soon. He reached down and smoothly pulled Claudia up to face him. He kissed her deeply, pulling her tightly against the entire length of his body.
“Claudia,” he breathed amorously, as she reached between their bodies and guided him into her. They both let out happy sounds as he settled deep into her tight body. She sat up, pressing her hands into his chest, so she could move her hips and still see his face. She loved the intensity of his gaze as he moved inside her; she felt anchored, safe and loved.
Artie reached his hand down to where their bodies met, and began to move his fingers against Claudia’s hard clit in the same rhythm that their hips were moving. As the speed increased, he could feel her tightening around him and, as she cried out and squeezed him tightly in the waves of her orgasm, he let himself go and cried out his release.
Claudia collapsed, gasping, onto his chest and Artie hugged her tightly. They stayed that way for a few minutes, catching their breath. Artie could not imagine how he had been able to spend so many years without being this close, without feeling this peaceful and contented, without this amazing woman in his arms. He kissed Claudia’s hair and looked her in the eyes. He saw reflected back everything that he didn’t know how to verbalize. “I have to say, this was the best end to my workday that I have had in a very long time.”
Claudia smiled and said mischievously, “Then let’s end the entire day on a nice note, too. What do you say to a walk home, a quick dinner and an early bedtime?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively as she sat up and grabbed her scattered clothing off the messy, paper-strewn floor.
Artie sighed happily as he also collected his clothing. “It will need to be a generous dinner if you plan on having me repeat this performance multiple times tonight.” He rubb ed his back as he rose from the floor. “And let’s make sure that we have a softer surface.”
Claudia came up behind him and kneaded his lower back. “Don’t worry old man, I don’t plan on breaking you,” she whispered into his ear.
Artie growled at her teasing and retorted, “Good; you can plan on finishing that massage tonight. Especially since I already spent a liberal amount of time rubbing your body back to normal today.”
They both began to wrap up their loose ends in the office. The door to the umbilicus swung open suddenly, surprising them both. Pete and Myka walked in looking sunburned, but satisfied.
“No more worries about the water in Florida,” Pete grinned as he tossed a large conch shell onto Artie’s desk. “Mission complete.”
Myka looked around at the mess of papers all over the office. “Wow you two, what happened here today? It looks like a book exploded.”
“Yeah, Artie,” said Pete in a serious tone. “You should think about getting some recycling bins to put around this office. It’s not environmentally conscious to waste all this paper.”
“Well, Pete,” smiled Artie, catching Claudia’s brown eyes, “you know…”
“It’s not easy being green!” they both finished in unison, laughing as they walked out the door leaving behind a baffled duo.
It’s Not Easy Being Green
By: abbysiuta
Pairings: Artie/Claudia
Rating: M
Disclaimers: I own nothing, this is just for fun.
Additional notes: Copious thanks to zombiechick for the encouragement to write this and for being an amazing beta.
Yes, nail polish like that really does exist. I had some. It also worked poorly.
This is the link Claudia was jamming to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLqb64Pb9So
Also, let’s pretend that this isn’t the “first time” this happened between them. I am not up for writing that…
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Claudia did not consider herself girly, in fact that word kinda grated on her, but she did secretly pride herself on having certain flair in the way she put herself together. Not just in reference to the buttons that she always had displayed on her leather jacket either.
Today she was excited to be wearing the new nail polish that she had found in the one drug store that their middle of nowhere South Dakota town had. It claimed to change color when exposed to sun and its glorious UV rays; quite a find for one of the fashion black holes of the country. Right now it was gold but, as soon as she got some sun, it should turn blue. Perfect for the girl who couldn’t decide what color to keep the streak in her hair for more than a week.
Unfortunately, being stuck in the warehouse doing inventory was unlikely to let her get to test her new polish anytime soon. “Sometimes I feel like I never get to breathe anything but old, dusty, artifacty air,” she muttered to herself as she strolled down the aisle, checking off items as she went. “Myka and Pete get to go to Miami to find some beach artifact that controls tides but me- I don’t even get enough sun to activate my nail polish.”
She turned the corner to an aisle she had never been down before, and stopped short; nearly crashing into one of the mailboxes that seemed to be ever present at the end aisles. “No way!” she exclaimed as she ran to the shelf. She read the screen just to confirm what she saw. “Original Kermit the Frog Muppet- created by Jim Henson, 1955.” She didn’t bother to read a single word more before the Muppet was on her right hand and the rods controlling his arms in her left.
“Hidee-ho, Kermit the frog here,” she said in her best Kermit voice. Then she exploded into “Ladies and Gentlemen, This is the MUPPET SHOW!” and proceeded to sing the entire theme song dancing around the aisle with Kermit as her partner. After a few more choice songs, including Rainbow Connection that always choked her up a little, she stopped and looked around. “Get a hold of yourself Claudia,” she scolded. You never know who is using the binoculars today. She knew that Artie would never let her forget this one if he had seen her dancing and reliving her love of Muppets while she had work to do.
She sighed a big, happy, nostalgic sigh, as she placed Kermit back onto his shelf. She wondered how many You Tube videos of old Muppet Show sketches she could get away with watching while she was supposed to be checking firewalls and computer safeguards. “Maybe Artie won’t be in the office this afternoon,” she thought.
As she walked back to the office, she noticed that her nails were now green instead of gold. She nodded happily, “must be enough UV from some artifact somewhere around here to get me halfway to nail polish splendor. Yellow and blue mix to green; gold must too.” She resolved to walk home to the B&B tonight - before dark- to see the full effects. “Gotta take the little things when you can around here,” she muttered.
Her wish to spend some office time sans Artie didn’t manifest itself. He was happily mapping, both on the computer and with his beloved sharpie and map, a recently resurfaced artifact. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she heard him muttering about Betty Ford and sobriety. “I bet Pete and Myka come home with quite the story after that one,” she thought.
She decided to risk a little off task time despite Artie being right there. It seemed that Kermit had started an avalanche of old Muppet memories, and she just didn’t feel motivated enough to fight them off. She had her headphones over just one ear so that she could make sure to pop up a virus sweep screen before Artie crashed her reminiscing session.
She didn’t realize that she was humming out loud until Artie called over from the map board, “That’s an old tune.”
“What?” she asked as she pulled the headphones off and quickly minimized her video.
“I didn’t think that Harry Belafonte was your style- or age group,” Artie stated walking over to where she sat. “Turn the World Around is a more 70’s kind of moment, and a little more “We Are the World” than your usual angsty music choices.” He smiled as he sat down in the chair at the computer next to hers.
She couldn’t help smiling back. That really was a damn good Muppet Show moment, but Artie was right. It wasn’t really her thing to Kumbaya with the world, she was way too jaded for that, but sometimes things just resonated. “It’s a leftover from my Muppet filled childhood,” she admitted. “That song, and the Muppets in general, just always made me smile, even when life was kicking my ass. That song, in particular, always just made me feel good” she shrugged as she said this, hoping it would get him onto another subject.
Artie chuckled and gave her a knowing look while he reached out and tucked her colored strand of hair behind her ear. “Always helpful to know another thing that makes you feel good,” he said in a throatier voice than normal. “And, I like the green hair; brings out the green in your eyes.” After another meaningful smile, he turned back to his desk and started tracking again.
It took Claudia a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Her streak of hair was blue wasn’t it? And while her eyes could, if she were being generous, be labeled hazel with a green tint, most people would call them a solid brown. She un-tucked her hair from her ear and glanced down. Nope, a very nice vivid green.
“I’m working too much for my own good if I’m forgetting when I change my hair,” she thought. And Artie must be romanticizing her eyes, though that wasn’t his style. Buttering her up for some nasty chore he’d give her right before quitting time. “Even more reason to sneak out early get some sun; burn off some cobwebs in the brain,” she grumped to herself as she went back to work, determined to finish without distraction and to get away before dinner.
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It turned out not to be as hard to focus as she thought. One of the safeguards she had set up, deep in the Warehouse network, was getting quite a workout from a nasty virus. It took her forever to deter it and clean up all the bits that it had left behind. It was one of those viruses that was designed to leave small annoying side effects everywhere- and it was well done. As much as these viruses wasted her time, Claudia did admire, from a technical standpoint, the way they were designed. It also helped that Artie had disappeared into the aisles somewhere and she had zero distractions.
She didn’t realize how much time she had spent looking exclusively at the screen in front of her until she realized that her shoulder and arm muscles were throbbing from hours of typing with no break. She let out a long breath, laced her fingers together, and stretched her arms out in front of her as she scooted her rolling chair back.
“What the hell?!” she exclaimed as she saw her hands in front of her. She was green. Not just nails or a streak of hair; she herself was green. All her exposed skin was now the shade of Kermit. She quickly pulled her t-shirt up and took a glance at her stomach; green as well. She hastily bent over and tore off her Converse and socks. Green feet and toes greeted her.
“No… No!” she whimpered as she swiftly checked the color of her tongue in the computer screen reflection. It looked as if she’d been sucking on lime popsicles all afternoon. In addition, all her hair was now green as well. “Crap,” she thought, “I am so busted.”
The only way that she could think to get out of this, without having to admit to her Kermit moment to Artie, was to find some artifact that would change her back to normal before he saw her again. Claudia glanced at her tool belt - nothing useful. Artie always kept tons of handy artifacts in the office, but the problem was that she didn’t know what the majority of them did. She didn’t think it wise to try them out randomly, especially since she was already in trouble for using an artifact when she didn’t know its effects.
She decided that she would try and look something up on the inventory list, and maybe take the zip line there if she had to. She did not even get past entering search parameters when Artie walked in the office door. Claudia quickly ducked under her desk and pretended to be looking for something that she dropped.
“Claudia, I was thinking it might be a good night for tacos and if we…” Artie trailed off as he came around the desk and was distracted by her ass and thighs sticking out from under the desk. The jeans were stretched tight against her small frame, and Artie quickly looked away to avoid his impulse of giving it a playful smack. He closed his eyes and exhaled quietly, trying to keep his focus.
“I just… dropped my bedazzled headband!” Claudia called out with sudden inspiration. “I know how much it means to you, and I don’t want to lose it.”
Artie opened his eyes with surprise and, when he did, he noticed something more than how well Claudia’s jeans fit. “Claudia, what did you get into this afternoon?” he asked chuckling and sitting down in his chair across from her.
“What do you mean?” Claudia said in a voice that sounded a little too guilty, even to her. “I’m just looking for my headband so I can finish my chores.”
“Mmm hmmm,” Artie hummed. “Then tell me, why are you barefoot in the office with green feet?”
Claudia froze under the desk, all pretenses gone. She sighed as she scooted backwards and sat down on the floor looking up at Artie with her bright green eyes. She tried to give a sheepish cute smile, hoping to avoid a lecture, and was pleasantly surprised when all he did was burst out into hearty laugher.
She began to whistle the opening bars of the Muppet Show theme while he wiped tears from his eyes. Artie nodded and leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands behind his neck. “You just couldn’t help yourself could you?” he asked as he shook his head, still chuckling, now fully understanding how the situation had come about.
Claudia shrugged and looked down at her lap. “I told you the Muppets made me feel good,” she grumped. “It was like fulfilling a childhood dream.” He was still laughing quietly as he turned and pulled open a drawer in his desk, which was a bit aggravating to Claudia. “It’s not like I blew something up, or let out some creature, or broke some piece of history,” she griped at him.
“Claudia, honey, calm down. I’m not trying to make you feel silly,” he soothed while rummaging in his drawer. “In fact, it’s nice to have some levity in my day. I can always count on you to make me smile,” he said in a gentle tone as he turned around and held out his hand. He dropped a small rectangular pink pearl eraser into her hand. “This will easily fix your issue.”
Claudia looked down at the eraser, and then back up at Artie. “An eraser?”
“One of the original batch of pink pearl erasers,” he corrected. “This is much more useful than the ones you used in school. It has the power to erase any substance back to its original state. Very useful for graffiti, revealing a hidden, old masterpiece, wrinkles - I even removed my tattoo with it.”
“Tattoo? What did you have…” Claudia questioned with one eyebrow raised but Artie cut her off with a shake of his head and a warning finger.
“Tweety Bird is never a good idea, no matter how wise it seems at the time,” he warned. Claudia made a mental note to come back to the subject at another time.
“But what is really important,” he continued, “is that you can use it to erase all your green off. Just don’t rub too hard; we don’t want to use up the entire eraser before you’re back to normal. I don’t have another one handy.”
Claudia sighed and started erasing her feet as Artie turned back around smiling. “I guess we’re eating in tonight after all.”
“Thanks for rubbing it in,” muttered Claudia before she realized the awful pun coming out of her mouth. Artie chuckled at her again, turned back to his computer, and went back to work.
**********************************************************************************************
About half an hour later, still sitting on the floor in a semi-funk, Claudia had erased all of her skin and hair that she could reach. Well, all that she could reach without taking more clothes off. Her jeans were rolled up to her knees and she had rolled the sleeves of her t-shirt up to reach her upper arms. She had even erased her tongue, teeth, and the rest of the inside of her mouth, which had left a decidedly rubbery taste in her mouth for a few minutes. She had a sinking feeling that she had missed a lot of spots in areas that she couldn’t see, and that she was likely streaky and splotchy green on the back of her neck and face among other places.
She realized that she needed a full-length mirror to complete the task. She knew that the closest full-length mirror, which was not in the dark vault full of crazy Alice, was at the B&B and she really didn’t want to go out into the world until she was rid of the green. Leena didn’t need to know her mistake as well. They may have been back on ok terms, but she still didn’t want to feel vulnerable around her.
“Well, I guess I just keep erasing,” she sighed to herself as she slid off her t-shirt and resigned herself to more rubbing. “At least it’s nothing that Artie hasn’t seen before,” she thought to herself. She realized that she’d have to stand up to get all of her stomach erased, and suddenly, she smiled. She had a great idea how to make the rest of the erasing much more fun. She quickly erased a few strokes on her stomach, and then stood and purposely knocked a pile of Artie’s papers off the corner of his desk and onto the floor.
“Claudia, those were all organized by decade,” huffed Artie as he turned around to scold her. His eyes widened as he saw her there, in only her jeans and a shiny black bra, holding out the eraser to him, with “Help me?” erased on her green stomach. He sucked in his breath as he felt himself responding to her. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and exhaled, “Even partly green, you are lovely.”
Claudia blushed, which Artie thought was a sight to see as her erased skin turned pink and her green skin a deeper green. “I can’t reach my back,” she explained with a glint in her eye.
Artie smiled and grabbed her hand with the eraser in it, pulling her closer to him. “Then I suppose,” he said huskily, “I have no choice in the matter.”
Claudia surprised him by turning around and sitting on his lap while straddling his thighs, presenting her green back to him. “Nope,” she taunted as she slid her ass back into his lap.
Artie let out a long, shaky breath as he felt his erection pressing against her. “We’re in the Warehouse, Claudia,” he groaned as she wiggled against him. He put his hands on her shoulders and slid them down her sides to her waist, stopping her movement. “This isn’t wise.”
“Why?” Claudia asked as she reached around and unhooked her bra. She slid it off, and turned her head to smile back at him. “Pete and Myka are more than a thousand miles away and Leena is in full fledged spring cleaning mode at the B&B. I think we’re safe.” She craned her neck back and chekily bit his earlobe.
Artie sighed happily and realized he wasn’t winning this one. “Ok, ok,” he whispered as Claudia turned back around. “You know I can’t resist you for long.” He trailed a small row of kisses down the side of her neck to her shoulder blade, which raised goose bumps on Claudia’s exposed flesh.
“I was counting on that,” she murmured happily, pressing into him again.
Artie gently pushed her forward a little, and held out his hand. “First, before you get me too distracted, we erase.”
Claudia sighed and placed the half of an eraser in his hand. She leaned forward slightly so that Artie could reach all of her green back. He slowly dragged the eraser in stripes up and down her skin.
She shivered, half with the odd sensation of eraser against taught skin, and half with building desire. “Speed it up old man,” she warned, “or I will no longer be able to be held responsible for my actions.”
Artie chuckled and began placing a kiss onto her pink skin after each stroke. He loved the little gasp Claudia made each time his lips connected to her body. “Turn around,” he told her a few minutes later. “You’re nice and pink back here.”
Claudia turned around so that they were face to face. The sight of her eyes heavy with lust made his breath catch. He cupped her face in his hands; a gesture she loved since he was now doing it even with others around. He paused for a moment, “You may have to live with green eyes,” he conceded. “I’m not sure that erasing your eyelids will be enough to turn them back and I’m guessing that you don’t want me to erase your actual eyeballs.”
Claudia’s nose wrinkled, “I love you touching me, but that is a little too invasive.” She sighed and closed her eyes, “Let’s give it a try and see.” Artie gently erased each eyelid, still holding her face with his other hand. He realized that this was just as intimate, if not more, than some of their previous nights had been. “Look at me,” he whispered when he finished.
Claudia opened her eyes and gasped slightly when her vision was filled with Artie’s face that held the most open and loving expression that she had ever seen on it. He pulled her into a deep and emotional kiss before she could even say a word. She melted into his body wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her fingers in his soft curls.
When they both surfaced for air, Artie smiled and noted, “Back to their enchanting brown.”
Claudia let out a breath of relief and kissed him softly. “Thank you.”
Artie grinned and held up the eraser again. “You’re still a bit green,” he smirked with a gleam in his eye. He looked down at her breasts and pulled the eraser from her chin to her navel. “Hold still.”
Claudia closed her eyes and let the sensation of the eraser on her chest fill her senses. She could hear Artie’s breathing rate increase as he erased the underside of each small breast and then moved across each of her hardened nipples. She moaned when the eraser was followed by his warm tongue tracing the path it had just made. Impatient for more, she crept her hands under his shirt and stroked his chest, mirroring the motions his tongue was tracing across her body. She smiled when she felt the growl deep beneath her hands.
Claudia reluctantly pushed him back from her while pulling his shirt over his head. She dropped it on the floor and straightened his glasses that she had knocked askew. “Patience is not one of my better qualities, Artie,” she pleaded with a hungry look.
“I know, honey,” he chuckled and gently removed her from his lap and stood her in front of him. He held up the eraser and, with raised eyebrows, stated, “I can’t reach the rest of you while you still have clothes on.”
It did not take her long to remove her jeans and panties. As she stood naked and smiling before him, Artie could feel his skin flush and he struggled to keep himself from ripping off his own clothes and burying himself in her warm, partly green body.
He turned her around and carefully erased the back of her legs and her pert ass. He could smell the delicious fruity scent of Claudia, that he loved, mixed with her desire. He decided it was time to up the pace.
“Switch places with me,” he ordered getting up from the chair and pressing her small frame into it. He knelt before her and pulled the eraser in long slow strokes from her green knee to inner thigh. He could feel how wet she was from inches away, and saw her legs begin to tremble as he got closer and closer to her green curls.
He steadied his own legs, and tenderly parted her lips with his fingers, as he drew the eraser through the soft folds of her flesh. Claudia’s whole body shivered and she couldn’t hold back a moan of pure need. Artie blew on her softly to scatter the eraser dust.
“Artie, please!” she begged closing her eyes and gripping the armrests of the chair so hard that her knuckles turned white.
Artie put down the eraser and leaned in to trail his tongue up Claudia’s legs until he could taste her. “I will never get tired of this,” he thought as he licked her trembling clit. He loved the sounds that she made as she got closer and closer to orgasm. He loved knowing that it was him who was making her feel that way. He wondered if he’d ever stop feeling so damn lucky that she reciprocated the intensity of his feelings.
Artie felt Claudia’s body stiffen as she cried his name and came. He continued his ministrations until he felt her pulsing stop. He leaned back keeping one hand on her knee, not wanting to break contact, and a happy grin spread over his face as he saw her limp and content, lying back in his chair.
After a minute, Claudia sat up and then joined him on the floor. “Is all the green gone?” she asked, her eyes still hungry. Artie nodded in affirmation. “Good; time for me to properly thank you.” She pushed him down onto the Oriental rug and tugged at his belt.
Artie gasped as her hands brushed against his straining erection. “No objections to any gratitude,” he panted as she stripped him, not even caring that they were knocking over his stacks of paperwork from the last week that were all around the floor of his desk.
Within moments, she had him fully in her mouth and then her agile hands wrapped around him stroked in rhythm with her tongue and lips. Artie moaned as he felt his arousal reach a new level. As much as he loved this, he needed to stop her before it was all over too soon. He reached down and smoothly pulled Claudia up to face him. He kissed her deeply, pulling her tightly against the entire length of his body.
“Claudia,” he breathed amorously, as she reached between their bodies and guided him into her. They both let out happy sounds as he settled deep into her tight body. She sat up, pressing her hands into his chest, so she could move her hips and still see his face. She loved the intensity of his gaze as he moved inside her; she felt anchored, safe and loved.
Artie reached his hand down to where their bodies met, and began to move his fingers against Claudia’s hard clit in the same rhythm that their hips were moving. As the speed increased, he could feel her tightening around him and, as she cried out and squeezed him tightly in the waves of her orgasm, he let himself go and cried out his release.
Claudia collapsed, gasping, onto his chest and Artie hugged her tightly. They stayed that way for a few minutes, catching their breath. Artie could not imagine how he had been able to spend so many years without being this close, without feeling this peaceful and contented, without this amazing woman in his arms. He kissed Claudia’s hair and looked her in the eyes. He saw reflected back everything that he didn’t know how to verbalize. “I have to say, this was the best end to my workday that I have had in a very long time.”
Claudia smiled and said mischievously, “Then let’s end the entire day on a nice note, too. What do you say to a walk home, a quick dinner and an early bedtime?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively as she sat up and grabbed her scattered clothing off the messy, paper-strewn floor.
Artie sighed happily as he also collected his clothing. “It will need to be a generous dinner if you plan on having me repeat this performance multiple times tonight.” He rubb ed his back as he rose from the floor. “And let’s make sure that we have a softer surface.”
Claudia came up behind him and kneaded his lower back. “Don’t worry old man, I don’t plan on breaking you,” she whispered into his ear.
Artie growled at her teasing and retorted, “Good; you can plan on finishing that massage tonight. Especially since I already spent a liberal amount of time rubbing your body back to normal today.”
They both began to wrap up their loose ends in the office. The door to the umbilicus swung open suddenly, surprising them both. Pete and Myka walked in looking sunburned, but satisfied.
“No more worries about the water in Florida,” Pete grinned as he tossed a large conch shell onto Artie’s desk. “Mission complete.”
Myka looked around at the mess of papers all over the office. “Wow you two, what happened here today? It looks like a book exploded.”
“Yeah, Artie,” said Pete in a serious tone. “You should think about getting some recycling bins to put around this office. It’s not environmentally conscious to waste all this paper.”
“Well, Pete,” smiled Artie, catching Claudia’s brown eyes, “you know…”
“It’s not easy being green!” they both finished in unison, laughing as they walked out the door leaving behind a baffled duo.