Cesca M. Croft, 'When The Men Came Back'

[duathir]

When The Men Came Back

They say that time is a healer.
Time numbs the mind,
blanks out the memories.
But then you hear the fireworks
and in the dark of the night
you can still die ~ of fright.
Just the sound ~ of the bangs ~ all around
like guns, triggers the memory,
the fear, the cold sweats,
of being fired at ~
Up in the sky, over the sea,
no self defence, in foreign territory ~
The crew is gripped with fear,
nerves in shreds, mouth deadly dry ~
We could be dead soon,
we could plunge to the icy sea,
disappear under the Atlantic,
never to be found again.
"Lost at sea"
R.I.P.
Back home again
for a week or two ~
We're at a party
It's so unreal
I curl up in a corner,
head in hands.
I can be me again
the real Me,
the husband, the father,
the neighbour.
This is Me.
Now I can cry ...
gentle arms hold me close.
What I have seen
won't go away.
It's still here, 20 years on,
and every firework
that you casually let off
proves that time
is not a healer.

By Cesca M. Croft

Falklands War, April 2 - June 14, 1982