Comments | wanton_bliss: THE PENTAGON POLICE CARE ABOUT YOU!

wanton_bliss

THE PENTAGON POLICE CARE ABOUT YOU!

Apr 14, 2006 11:29

I had three fuzzy navels, a cheeseburger sub and a nap in the few hours before I was pulled over by a Pentagon police officer. It turns out my left passenger's side headlight was out. What's odd is how the cop asked me to turn my engine back on. He then pointed to my dashboard and said, "See that green light? That indicates that one of your ( Read more... )

the fact that i am divinely blessed, fetish, alcoholism

Comments 28

friendofjack April 14 2006, 18:22:58 UTC

Oh man. I wonder how often cops hook up like that.

wanton_bliss April 14 2006, 18:36:36 UTC

I would think never... it's a great way to lose your job and end up as a crappy private security guard for the rest of your life.

But then, I still can't believe people hook up with random strangers in public bathrooms, but apparently that happens all the time.

velocityboy April 14 2006, 18:38:11 UTC

Cops are generally not-so-good in bed, and they never see the humor in, "Your handcuffs or mine?"

wanton_bliss April 14 2006, 18:40:09 UTC

This sounds like the voice of experience.

Did you try to get out of a few traffic tickets yourself?

velocityboy April 14 2006, 18:55:00 UTC

I've only gotten one ticket. She simply refused to fall for my charm, but incidentally, wrote in her report something to the effect of:

"Driver maintained a calm and pleasant demeanor; showed no signs of distress or inebriation. Quite pleasant to deal with." The assistant DA handling traffic court that day said he uses those side bits in determining how low to go on reducing the charges.

I got the bare minimum.

(And yes, I've played with cops. They always seem anxious, jumpy, and switching to new positions freaks them out.)

die7fox April 14 2006, 18:45:38 UTC

I was completely caught up in the drama of all this, including the side foray into your salacious fantasy, until it hit me.

"He was buzzing on girl drinks."

wanton_bliss April 14 2006, 18:50:24 UTC

Bitch, I'm the king of girl drinks.

Lucky I was too lazy to get out of the leather e-z-chair during Smallville, otherwise I would have followed those three fuzzy navels with the remaining two bottles of watermelon-flavored Bacardi Silver.

die7fox April 14 2006, 18:55:47 UTC

Heh. You're a girl drink drunk.

*pours self a rusty nail*

wanton_bliss April 14 2006, 19:01:16 UTC

Pshaw. I am willing to drink anyone under the table when it comes to anything served with an umbrella and a slice of pineapple.

I've seen a single Hunan Scorpion crush bigger men than you, whereas I brush my teeth with rum and grenadine.

This could, however, explain the persistent headache all day.

Thread 6

pagerbear April 14 2006, 19:30:50 UTC

...battering the back of my throat then spewing gout after gout of hot cum across my face and tongue.

That's not the meaning of the word gout I know (from painful first-hand experience).

it's from Oscar Wilde cornekopia April 14 2006, 19:53:38 UTC

can also mean "large blob or clot" -- which aids this fantasy

DRUNKPANTS. thesadpunk April 15 2006, 16:06:34 UTC

I hope this isn't one of those situations where the karma reverses.

Escapes
Dave - 11
Alex - 1