Doubtless, Jared was an indiscriminate piece of shit

[wanton_bliss]

You would think that the fact that I come in every Sunday at roughly the same time and order the exact same sandwich would afford me some greater probability of ending up with what I want. You would, however, be wrong. My Subway has a strict policy of maintaining the illusion of efficiency by adding condiments to sandwiches as they become available, regardless of the order in which they were ordered. This allows for all sorts of amusing chaos as people shift in line because someone requested a toasted sub and the rest of the patrons cannot be made to wait the fifteen seconds while it heats up. Never once does it occur to the "women" who work there that, once wrapped up, all these subs look completely identical; therefore the order of completion is the only way to guarantee that the right sandwich ends up with the right diner.

So, yeah, I arrived home only to unwrap a god-damned meatball sub, while at that very moment across town some fat freckled fuck discovered he had been gifted with my highly delicious Italian BMT.

I would throw a brick through their window, but it is too damned hot to put on pants.