One of those little things
I have a very large vocabulary.
The kind, indeed, that often has me shoving words into sentences when I'm running super fast through paragraphs and pages writing. Only to have to stop and look up the word that just spilled out in my sentence from my head without warning to see half the time what it is as much as whether it fits. Which it usually 99.8% of the time does (complacent and I have not stopped having different definitions for each other since I was twelve).
I have spent the better part of eight to ten years not using these words in any every day conversation I have with people, because I was made aware by handfuls of people, including one of my last roommates, that doing so was insulting everyone else's intelligence around me by pointing out that they were stupid. The only people I had exception to this on were TJ and Laverne, who's vocabulary use frequently left me needing to look up things still.
This has never been true of my writing though. Whether in character or in journal or in conversation I usually let my words dictate themselves more than half the time in this presence online. Factor into those two things my having spent most of last year not speaking more than two or three sentence out loud that didn't have to do with work, and we get to the present day point where I'm still learning to tread water socially at times.
What I noticed today through the affectionate teasing of my mother at lunch, was that as I'm coming back from that place, where all I expressed was in writing for so long, I'm less filtered. And by less, I mean almost entirely not at all. I'm using words I would have avoided at all cost two years ago without thinking about them first and casting them aside. And you know ---
I kind of love it.
The kind, indeed, that often has me shoving words into sentences when I'm running super fast through paragraphs and pages writing. Only to have to stop and look up the word that just spilled out in my sentence from my head without warning to see half the time what it is as much as whether it fits. Which it usually 99.8% of the time does (complacent and I have not stopped having different definitions for each other since I was twelve).
I have spent the better part of eight to ten years not using these words in any every day conversation I have with people, because I was made aware by handfuls of people, including one of my last roommates, that doing so was insulting everyone else's intelligence around me by pointing out that they were stupid. The only people I had exception to this on were TJ and Laverne, who's vocabulary use frequently left me needing to look up things still.
This has never been true of my writing though. Whether in character or in journal or in conversation I usually let my words dictate themselves more than half the time in this presence online. Factor into those two things my having spent most of last year not speaking more than two or three sentence out loud that didn't have to do with work, and we get to the present day point where I'm still learning to tread water socially at times.
What I noticed today through the affectionate teasing of my mother at lunch, was that as I'm coming back from that place, where all I expressed was in writing for so long, I'm less filtered. And by less, I mean almost entirely not at all. I'm using words I would have avoided at all cost two years ago without thinking about them first and casting them aside. And you know ---
I kind of love it.