[lj idol] week sixteen| "this dust is all that's left of us..."

[waltzmatildah]

[this is the end of the story]

*It comes apart slowly at first

Comments

[penpusher]

Very life-affirming in its apocalyptic view.

[waltzmatildah]

Thank you for reading!!

[karmasoup]

I'm a sucker for a dystopian story with a promise of a better future... it's the only kind I write. It's a nice notion. I appreciate that the details are vague, because the concept is what is being conveyed, and that is what comes through here.

[waltzmatildah]

I appreciate that the details are vague, because the concept is what is being conveyed, and that is what comes through here. Yes! This! I kept second guessing myself with not expanding on the 'they', but this was never meant to be about 'them' and so I didn't!

So glad it worked for you! Thank you so much :)

[halfshellvenus]

turns to shifting, shifting sand beneath their feet.

I wanted that to be "shifting, sifting sand" for some reason, so much that I wondered if there was a typo! But I'm probably just projecting.

It's funny how easily this prompt calls forth a sense of "the end is also a beginning," because those were some of the first things that came to mind for me, too. And chaos in general.

This story combines them both, and I agree with the comment above-- the details convey the "what" so clearly that there is no need for the "how" or the "why." For this story, those aren't the parts that matter, either.

Nicely done!

[waltzmatildah]

It's not a typo. I am a total sucker for repetition and this was just one of those times. Though I love the alliteration of 'shifting, sifting' and I think that would have worked beautifully.

Thank you!

[i_17bingo]

This went from bleak to rosy very quickly. This is probably the most literal interpretation of the topic, in that it matched the sentence's structure perfectly.

[waltzmatildah]

Thank you so much for reading! I was conscious of length, hence the quick shift. I probably should have given it more time to percolate in hindsight...

Thank you once again :)

[mamas_minion]

This was beautifully written, the imagery is amazing and it flows gracefully. I thouroly enjoyed reading this.

[waltzmatildah]

Thank you so much :)