[lj idol] week twelve | "leave the light on..."

[waltzmatildah]

[a metaphor of sorts]

*

I am made of tangles.

Both literal and metaphorical.

That I can't see them changes nothing.

That they continue to exist,

to multiply, regardless,

a horror I've yet to reconcile.

The evidence of them hides.

The white coffee mug in my cupboard.

The one I'm sure was red,

or yellow,

or maybe it was pale, pale blue.

Before.

The faces I fail to recognise.

And the frustration that bubbles angrily,

a constant background murmur that never really disappears.

I can't explain it but it doesn't matter.

No-one asks me to.

I look down.

I've run out of carpet to walk on and my feet are bare.

Oh...

Shadows lengthen.

The sun begins its final descent into evening.

Memories hide in that looming dark;

distorted apparitions that are fast melting away from familiar.

Crooked elbows,

linked and linking,

and then breaking apart.

I remember a game...

No. No I don't.

Cotton wool clouds inside my skull.

I think it might be raining.

*

previously on...
introduction | jayus | the missing stair | in another castle | nobody can ride your back if your back's not bent | build a better mouse-trap | step on a crack, break your mother's back | yes, and... | the recency effect