Rules of Life

[walsfeo]

I've been trying to teach my stepson the rules of life as I've been able to figure them out. So far we've covered three of them.

1. No Excuses. Anything you do, or do not do, is your responsibility. Applied to real life this means if he does something wrong, don't blame someone else if he gets caught.
2. Treat people well. The way you treat people defines

Comments

[anaka]

Actions have consequences, even when you didn't intend the action or figure out what doing it would mean ahead of time, and sometimes those consequences come back on other people, not just you. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with it anyway, but if you have time to think about something before you act, do so.

[walsfeo]

Very true. That would be a great follow up to number 1.

[kokoronagomu]

everything has a cost. a good idea is to assign chores with specific rewards, from praise to monetary worth toward a wanted item. some chores should be routine without any reward except that it needed to be done, or you made the mess, you clean it up.

i home schooled my kids, they worked at odd jobs around the family and neighborhood-- they had their own savings accounts and were required to pay for a portion of what they wanted above basic necessities. i was a big one who would discuss household expenses with my children so they knew that stuff didn't come free.

they learned to be respectful to adults, and not to interrupt adult conversation unless it was an urgent matter. they were taken around our congregation and had to greet every elderly person and they learned to make conversation. they learned that they could have friends of all ages.

[walsfeo]

Everything has a cost is great, though the tough part will be to get it past $, because cost has nothing to do with money but that's what he'll think it is all about.

I like the rest of these points as well!

[kokoronagomu]

wouldn't that be where consequences come in? issues the child would likely face on the short term, choices and consequences. one needs basic moral principles-- a principle would be a generalized standard that other things would relate. for example, take the biblical commandments --don't steal, don't desire what's not yours, don't kill. but the first two commandments are 'love god' and 'love your neighbor as yourself'-- if you loved your neighbor, you wouldn't steal from him, desire what was his, and you wouldn't hurt or kill him. -- just like you had stated about treating people as you want treated

[walsfeo]

Every day we've been going over the list and I added 'everything has a cost'. I was able to explain it to him in a way that he understood.

The more I think about it, rule number one should probably be:

Everything has a cost and a consequence.

[walsfeo]

Great advice, if a little focused for what I was thinking of.

[whoismelisa]

Yelling gets you no where. Calm well thought out words can express your emontion and intent better and are more likely to be heard.