The Show Must Go On
Title: The Show Must Go On (part 2)
Author: walking_weapon and lilly915
Rating: PG
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: A small series of moments in time following episode 7x18. Addison and Arizona share a moment in the hospital chapel.
I take a deep breath as I hear the door to the chapel open, hoping it’s just someone’s who’s lost and took a wrong turn. I hold my breath and hope that whoever just entered doesn't notice me laying down on the pew, the same pew I found Callie laying on the day she prayed for Izzie Stevens to live. Bailey ordered me to an on-call room, but I can't sleep, and since she banned me from accompanying either the baby or Callie to their tests I snuck in here. I was never much for church but since I couldn't be with either of my girls I felt better being in a place where I could still feel close to Callie. Besides God had been pretty good about answering my prayers the last few days. Both Callie and the baby are alive and doing well, it’s been a few days since Callie woke up and so far everything looks good.
"Oh…Arizona, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." A voice suddenly sounds near me.
"Addison?” I mutter as I look up. “No you're not interrupting anything. Bailey put me on a time-out, I didn't know where to go and I ended up in here…" I trail off as I sit up to make room for her.
"A time-out?" She questions curiously.
"Yeah, she said maybe I would understand better if she put it in 'peds-language,' but she really just wanted me to go take a nap. I tried, but I just couldn't…" I trial off again, sighing heavily. Addison just nods her head in understanding as she sits down. I’m grateful for that, for her quiet acceptance that I don’t have words for what I’m going through. We sit like that in silence for a few minutes, both of us exhausted from the stress of the previous days and the shared relief that both Callie and the baby seemed to be out of the woods for the time being.
"I'm sorry I can leave if you wanted to pray. I'm just kinda sitting here." I offer after a bit, feeling a little awkward now that I’m not alone.
"No please stay. I'm pretty much just doing the same, looking for a few minutes of peace." Addison says quietly. "This is where Callie comes when-"
"When she doesn’t know what else to do. I know. The last time I was here Callie was with me. I uh…I don't do this…the praying thing." I mutter, clearing my throat as I remember that day when I found her here looking so lost.
"I didn’t either. I was here because Derek was operating on my brother's brain, it didn’t look good, and I was desperate so I came in here. Thing is I’ve barely ever been to church and I had no idea how to pray, but Callie came in to check on me and she showed me how." Addison says, smiling fondly.
"How to pray?" I question curiously. This is a story I haven’t heard but it sounds just like something Callie would do.
"Yeah." She rolls her eyes and smiles at me. "Actually that day she prayed about you, that's the first time she told me about you." She adds, her smile a little wider.
"She prayed about me?" I question incredulously. Now that is something I definitely never expected.
"Yeah something about a hot peds surgeon kissing her and praying to get over the butterflies so she could approach you." Addison explains, shaking her head a little bit.
"Really?" I ask, my eyebrows arching as I take in this information.
"Yep. As soon as she started telling me about you I knew that this 'hot peds surgeon' would probably be the one.” Addison smiles softly.
“You did?” I ask, looking at her in surprise. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.
“I did, because I had never seen Callie like that before." She says, toying with the scrub cap in her hands.
“Like what?” I ask curiously. The idea that way back then, before we’d ever even had a real conversation let alone a date, Callie was that taken with me seems ridiculous. Except that deep down I know I was the exact same way so the thought of Callie feeling the same makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
"Smitten, but not like George smitten. She grew up a lot after George, finally knew what she wanted, what she deserved. She nervous about you and dating a woman and all that, but instead of freaking out she…prayed. She figured it out because she was that taken with you that she wanted to get over her butterflies." Addison explains, nodding a little as she finishes, clearly satisfied with her little speech.
"I turned her down. She asked me out but I found out she was new to dating women and I was scared.” I says after a minute or two. It feels oddly good to talk about Callie and about happier simpler times. “I had never felt like that before. There was…I don't know how to describe it…this electricity. And I knew, I just knew that I could fall for her o easily, and that she could break me just as easily.”
“Fear makes us do a lot of silly things. Lucky for you Callie is a stubborn woman.” Addison smirks, prompting me to smile a little.
“Understatement of the century. God if that little girl is half as stubborn we’re done for once she’s a teenager.” I snort, shaking my head a bit. My expression quickly sobers though as all the knowledge I have as a doctor suddenly comes rushing back. “If she makes it that is.” I whisper, voicing on of my biggest fears.
"Hey, don’t talk like that.” Addison chastises, turning to face me and placing a ahnd on my shoulder. “Callie is a fighter and so is that little girl, like you said, they’re stubborn. They’re both fine, thanks to you, and before you know it Callie will be driving you up the wall trying to get discharged early and that little girl will be home where she belongs.”
“I want to believe that, I do, but…She went through a windshield. I…I saw her, lying there bleeding and twitching…then we get here and she coeds twice and the baby…She’s so tiny and she wasn’t breathing and…I…I can’t stop being scared.” I choke out as I start to cry.
“Oh sweetie.” Addison sighs softly, pulling me into a tight hug. I return the embrace gratefully, clinging to her scrub top and sobbing I a way I’d be embarrassed about any other time. Tight now though it just feels too good to let go. I don’t know how long we stay like that, but it’s not until well after my tears dry up that I finally pull back.
"I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.” I mutter as I wipe at my damp cheeks and look down at the floor, too embarrassed and self-conscious to look at Addison. “I mean I turned her down the first time she asked me out, we broke up over having babies, we got back together and then I left her again. She should have never taken me back, after all that I shouldn't be this lucky. We must be out of second chances by now…” I trail off, willing myself not to start crying again.
"You came back and stayed with her. You could have left when you found out about Mark and the baby, but you stayed. That makes you a better person than anyone else would have been and it makes you more than deserving of a second chance.” Addison says firmly, holding my gaze before her pager interrupts us.
“Oh god.” I gasp, instantly fearing the worst. “Is…is it…please no…”
“Baby Torres is back from her tests.” Addison says quickly to allay my panic.
“Thank god.” I whispers, my shoulders slumping. I don’t think I going to not panic when I hear a pager ever again, or at least not until my girls get home safe.
“You were incredible these past few days Arizona, fighting Mark, fighting for Callie's wishes, fighting for your baby in that OR. When I took her…I didn't think she had a chance. In all my years of practice my experience told me her heart shouldn’t start and my heart broke because of that, but you…You got her heart beating. And I think it’s only because of you, because it was you trying to get her to live. I may not be all that religious, but I know that both of their hearts beat for you Arizona." Addison says softly as she gets to her feet, straightening her rumpled scrub top.
“Thank you.” I whisper, surprised and grateful that her words actual make me feel a little better, a little less terrified.
“Now I think that there are two lovely ladies in this hospital that are damn lucky to have you in their lives. One of which is back form getting poked and prodded by creepy doctor and would love to see her mom." Addison smiles, holding her hand out to me. Taking a breath I look one more time up at the cross at the front of the small chapel before taking Addison’s hand and letting her pull me to my feet. I’m still terrified and I honestly don’t know when that will go away, maybe never now that I have my own tiny human, but I feel a lot more at peace.
Author: walking_weapon and lilly915
Rating: PG
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: A small series of moments in time following episode 7x18. Addison and Arizona share a moment in the hospital chapel.
I take a deep breath as I hear the door to the chapel open, hoping it’s just someone’s who’s lost and took a wrong turn. I hold my breath and hope that whoever just entered doesn't notice me laying down on the pew, the same pew I found Callie laying on the day she prayed for Izzie Stevens to live. Bailey ordered me to an on-call room, but I can't sleep, and since she banned me from accompanying either the baby or Callie to their tests I snuck in here. I was never much for church but since I couldn't be with either of my girls I felt better being in a place where I could still feel close to Callie. Besides God had been pretty good about answering my prayers the last few days. Both Callie and the baby are alive and doing well, it’s been a few days since Callie woke up and so far everything looks good.
"Oh…Arizona, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." A voice suddenly sounds near me.
"Addison?” I mutter as I look up. “No you're not interrupting anything. Bailey put me on a time-out, I didn't know where to go and I ended up in here…" I trail off as I sit up to make room for her.
"A time-out?" She questions curiously.
"Yeah, she said maybe I would understand better if she put it in 'peds-language,' but she really just wanted me to go take a nap. I tried, but I just couldn't…" I trial off again, sighing heavily. Addison just nods her head in understanding as she sits down. I’m grateful for that, for her quiet acceptance that I don’t have words for what I’m going through. We sit like that in silence for a few minutes, both of us exhausted from the stress of the previous days and the shared relief that both Callie and the baby seemed to be out of the woods for the time being.
"I'm sorry I can leave if you wanted to pray. I'm just kinda sitting here." I offer after a bit, feeling a little awkward now that I’m not alone.
"No please stay. I'm pretty much just doing the same, looking for a few minutes of peace." Addison says quietly. "This is where Callie comes when-"
"When she doesn’t know what else to do. I know. The last time I was here Callie was with me. I uh…I don't do this…the praying thing." I mutter, clearing my throat as I remember that day when I found her here looking so lost.
"I didn’t either. I was here because Derek was operating on my brother's brain, it didn’t look good, and I was desperate so I came in here. Thing is I’ve barely ever been to church and I had no idea how to pray, but Callie came in to check on me and she showed me how." Addison says, smiling fondly.
"How to pray?" I question curiously. This is a story I haven’t heard but it sounds just like something Callie would do.
"Yeah." She rolls her eyes and smiles at me. "Actually that day she prayed about you, that's the first time she told me about you." She adds, her smile a little wider.
"She prayed about me?" I question incredulously. Now that is something I definitely never expected.
"Yeah something about a hot peds surgeon kissing her and praying to get over the butterflies so she could approach you." Addison explains, shaking her head a little bit.
"Really?" I ask, my eyebrows arching as I take in this information.
"Yep. As soon as she started telling me about you I knew that this 'hot peds surgeon' would probably be the one.” Addison smiles softly.
“You did?” I ask, looking at her in surprise. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.
“I did, because I had never seen Callie like that before." She says, toying with the scrub cap in her hands.
“Like what?” I ask curiously. The idea that way back then, before we’d ever even had a real conversation let alone a date, Callie was that taken with me seems ridiculous. Except that deep down I know I was the exact same way so the thought of Callie feeling the same makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
"Smitten, but not like George smitten. She grew up a lot after George, finally knew what she wanted, what she deserved. She nervous about you and dating a woman and all that, but instead of freaking out she…prayed. She figured it out because she was that taken with you that she wanted to get over her butterflies." Addison explains, nodding a little as she finishes, clearly satisfied with her little speech.
"I turned her down. She asked me out but I found out she was new to dating women and I was scared.” I says after a minute or two. It feels oddly good to talk about Callie and about happier simpler times. “I had never felt like that before. There was…I don't know how to describe it…this electricity. And I knew, I just knew that I could fall for her o easily, and that she could break me just as easily.”
“Fear makes us do a lot of silly things. Lucky for you Callie is a stubborn woman.” Addison smirks, prompting me to smile a little.
“Understatement of the century. God if that little girl is half as stubborn we’re done for once she’s a teenager.” I snort, shaking my head a bit. My expression quickly sobers though as all the knowledge I have as a doctor suddenly comes rushing back. “If she makes it that is.” I whisper, voicing on of my biggest fears.
"Hey, don’t talk like that.” Addison chastises, turning to face me and placing a ahnd on my shoulder. “Callie is a fighter and so is that little girl, like you said, they’re stubborn. They’re both fine, thanks to you, and before you know it Callie will be driving you up the wall trying to get discharged early and that little girl will be home where she belongs.”
“I want to believe that, I do, but…She went through a windshield. I…I saw her, lying there bleeding and twitching…then we get here and she coeds twice and the baby…She’s so tiny and she wasn’t breathing and…I…I can’t stop being scared.” I choke out as I start to cry.
“Oh sweetie.” Addison sighs softly, pulling me into a tight hug. I return the embrace gratefully, clinging to her scrub top and sobbing I a way I’d be embarrassed about any other time. Tight now though it just feels too good to let go. I don’t know how long we stay like that, but it’s not until well after my tears dry up that I finally pull back.
"I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.” I mutter as I wipe at my damp cheeks and look down at the floor, too embarrassed and self-conscious to look at Addison. “I mean I turned her down the first time she asked me out, we broke up over having babies, we got back together and then I left her again. She should have never taken me back, after all that I shouldn't be this lucky. We must be out of second chances by now…” I trail off, willing myself not to start crying again.
"You came back and stayed with her. You could have left when you found out about Mark and the baby, but you stayed. That makes you a better person than anyone else would have been and it makes you more than deserving of a second chance.” Addison says firmly, holding my gaze before her pager interrupts us.
“Oh god.” I gasp, instantly fearing the worst. “Is…is it…please no…”
“Baby Torres is back from her tests.” Addison says quickly to allay my panic.
“Thank god.” I whispers, my shoulders slumping. I don’t think I going to not panic when I hear a pager ever again, or at least not until my girls get home safe.
“You were incredible these past few days Arizona, fighting Mark, fighting for Callie's wishes, fighting for your baby in that OR. When I took her…I didn't think she had a chance. In all my years of practice my experience told me her heart shouldn’t start and my heart broke because of that, but you…You got her heart beating. And I think it’s only because of you, because it was you trying to get her to live. I may not be all that religious, but I know that both of their hearts beat for you Arizona." Addison says softly as she gets to her feet, straightening her rumpled scrub top.
“Thank you.” I whisper, surprised and grateful that her words actual make me feel a little better, a little less terrified.
“Now I think that there are two lovely ladies in this hospital that are damn lucky to have you in their lives. One of which is back form getting poked and prodded by creepy doctor and would love to see her mom." Addison smiles, holding her hand out to me. Taking a breath I look one more time up at the cross at the front of the small chapel before taking Addison’s hand and letting her pull me to my feet. I’m still terrified and I honestly don’t know when that will go away, maybe never now that I have my own tiny human, but I feel a lot more at peace.