Carrying On (1/1)
Title: Carrying On
Rating: PG13
Pairing: mentions of Messe (Mookie Morris/Jesse Cottam), and Drew Wright/Paul Clifford; Drew/Mookie bff-ery.
Summary: Mookie and Drew mourn the eliminations of their lovers
Disclaimer: Probably isn't real.
Author's Notes: Takes place after the cut from 20 to 16. Losely based after allowedtobesad's drabble Black. It's also slightly AU because Jesse spent the night with Mookie instead of adding fans on facebook and myspace like he did in the real world (don't ask me how I know that). Cross posted to messe_love (we are not letting the com die, btw. feel free to join up), ci6_slash, ci_slash, and idolslash
Mookie sits in the middle of his bed, wrapped in a sweater that smells too much like Jesse, but he can't find the will to take it off. He closes his eyes, resting his forehead against his knees, and sighs. It wasn't supposed to end like this, he thinks, but immediately corrects himself, saying it hasn't ended, not at all. It's just a set back. A minor problem. They'll work around it, they have too. And Jesse promised, he promised. That has to mean something, right?
He lets out a soft whimper as he tries to fight back the tears that are threatening to break free again, and shuts his eyes tighter. He feels so drained, physically, and emotionally. There wasn't much sleep to be had the previous night, what with him trying to cling to every last moment that they had together, and then with getting up early to say their good bye (for now)s. He can't sleep now, though. There are rehearsals soon, meetings, decisions about song choices, all the crazy things that Mookie just isn't looking forward to right now.
There's a soft knock on his bedroom door, but he ignores it. Whoever it is will either go away, or let themself in. Unspoken rule number 1, if the door's unlocked, come on in.
"Hey.." A soft voice that he recognizes immediately. "Can I come in?" Mookie slowly looks up to see Drew's head poking in through the barely opened door. He nods, and the older man enters the room, closing the door behind him.
Mookie takes in Drew's appearance, noticing that he looks just about as worn out as he probably does himself. Understandably so, considering when Mookie had gone to see Jesse off, Drew was there doing the same for Paul, both men looking as if it had been an emotional night. "Hey," he finally says after a moment, resting his chin on his knees as his friend sits down cross legged in front of him.
Drew grabs a pillow off the bed, and hugs it to himself, all the while watching Mookie through sad eyes. "How're you holding up, kid?" he asks after a moment, his voice low and sleep deprived.
Mookie gives a half-hearted shrug, and mumbles that he's "been better", before asking the same of Drew.
"I don't think it's fully sunken in yet," he admits, "It doesn't make sense to me."
"Doesn't make sense to me, either." He fiddles with the sleeve of Jesse's hoodie, and frowns. "It shouldn't have been them. I can think of plenty of people who should've gone instead." He doesn't really care if that's a mean thought, it's the truth. Jesse had been so much better than some of the others that had performed that night. "I knew the judges had gotten in wrong, but how did a whole country mess up like that?" He can feels his voice getting weaker as he continues, he can hear the way it breaks a few times, and he hates it. He doesn't want to be weak, he's acting like a freaking girl.
Drew watches him sadly, noting the way his voice starts to falter. "You know this isn't a singing competition, Mookie. It's all about voting for your local talent. When there's 20 people, and 13 provinces, votes get split, and the wrong people take the fall because of it."
"Yeah, I know. It still sucks."
"Never said it doesn't." He gives his younger companion a weak smile.
Mookie let's out a frustrated sigh, and rests his forehead against his knees. "It's just.. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I'm just so damn used to him being here, y'know? I'm used to practicing with him, used to exchanging tips and ideas. It's just gonna be so weird without having him here."
"Tell me about it. Paul always helped me pick my songs, I'm so indecisive. I swear I'll end up calling him to ask him to pick for me, but then I'd feel bad, cause I'd feel like calling him about that would just be rubbing it in his face that I'm still here, and he's not." He reaches out, and ruffles Mookie's hair gently, "You know if you ever need help, or if you ever get lonely, I'm always around to help out."
"Thanks," he mumbles against the fabric of his jeans before looking back up at Drew. "And yeah, I don't know what to say when Jesse calls me. Other than "I miss you", of course."
"I guess we'll find out when the time comes." Drew sighs, and lets go of the pillow in his lap, moving his hands to the mattress behind him so that he can lean back a bit, still watching the younger boy.
"Do you.. do you think that they're allowed to come visit?" There's the faintest tinge of hope in Mookie's voice and eyes, a for a moment it reminds Drew of just how young the kid is.
"I.. honestly don't know. I mean, I don't see why not..." He glances up at the ceiling, "But they might be too busy. Isn't Jesse supposed to be recording his album?" He returns his gaze to Mookie.
Oh. He'd forgotten about that part. "Oh, right.. yeah. He will be recording." The hope visibly fades, and Drew frowns, but Mookie forces a smile. "His band's amazing. They'll go places. He got himself known though the show, now he can carry the band to fame," as he talks, the smile becomes less forced, and more proud.
Drew smiles softly, "They'll do fine." They two are silent for a long moment, but the silence is comforting and not awkward. After a little while, Drew speaks again, "It.. it kind of makes me want to give up. Y'know?"
Mookie gives a soft smirk, "Jesse told me I'm not allowed."
Drew smiles in response. "Paul, too."
Mookie glances at the clock for a moment, and sighs, "I really don't feel like rehearsing today. Think they'll go easy on us?"
"Mm, I doubt it." He glances back up at the ceiling, "The others might, but not the people who matter."
"That's probably better. I hate that feeling when you just know everyone's trying to be careful around you, like walking on eggshells."
The older man nods, "Yeah. I hate that, too." He sighs softly, before standing, "But I guess we've gotta go find out how it's gonna be."
"Yeah, s'no use wallowing in self pity." He slowly uncurls himself, and gets off of the bed, and for a moment, he considers taking off Jesse's hoodie but he decides to leave it on. He walks over to Drew and hugs the older man tightly for a moment, because he knows that they both need the contact.
Drew hugs him back for a moment, before pulling away. "Let's get this over with." He ruffles Mookie's hair gently, earning a half-glare from the boy, before walking over to the door and opening it.
Mookie watches as his friend disappears into the hall, before taking a deep breath, exhaling, and following.
Rating: PG13
Pairing: mentions of Messe (Mookie Morris/Jesse Cottam), and Drew Wright/Paul Clifford; Drew/Mookie bff-ery.
Summary: Mookie and Drew mourn the eliminations of their lovers
Disclaimer: Probably isn't real.
Author's Notes: Takes place after the cut from 20 to 16. Losely based after allowedtobesad's drabble Black. It's also slightly AU because Jesse spent the night with Mookie instead of adding fans on facebook and myspace like he did in the real world (don't ask me how I know that). Cross posted to messe_love (we are not letting the com die, btw. feel free to join up), ci6_slash, ci_slash, and idolslash
Mookie sits in the middle of his bed, wrapped in a sweater that smells too much like Jesse, but he can't find the will to take it off. He closes his eyes, resting his forehead against his knees, and sighs. It wasn't supposed to end like this, he thinks, but immediately corrects himself, saying it hasn't ended, not at all. It's just a set back. A minor problem. They'll work around it, they have too. And Jesse promised, he promised. That has to mean something, right?
He lets out a soft whimper as he tries to fight back the tears that are threatening to break free again, and shuts his eyes tighter. He feels so drained, physically, and emotionally. There wasn't much sleep to be had the previous night, what with him trying to cling to every last moment that they had together, and then with getting up early to say their good bye (for now)s. He can't sleep now, though. There are rehearsals soon, meetings, decisions about song choices, all the crazy things that Mookie just isn't looking forward to right now.
There's a soft knock on his bedroom door, but he ignores it. Whoever it is will either go away, or let themself in. Unspoken rule number 1, if the door's unlocked, come on in.
"Hey.." A soft voice that he recognizes immediately. "Can I come in?" Mookie slowly looks up to see Drew's head poking in through the barely opened door. He nods, and the older man enters the room, closing the door behind him.
Mookie takes in Drew's appearance, noticing that he looks just about as worn out as he probably does himself. Understandably so, considering when Mookie had gone to see Jesse off, Drew was there doing the same for Paul, both men looking as if it had been an emotional night. "Hey," he finally says after a moment, resting his chin on his knees as his friend sits down cross legged in front of him.
Drew grabs a pillow off the bed, and hugs it to himself, all the while watching Mookie through sad eyes. "How're you holding up, kid?" he asks after a moment, his voice low and sleep deprived.
Mookie gives a half-hearted shrug, and mumbles that he's "been better", before asking the same of Drew.
"I don't think it's fully sunken in yet," he admits, "It doesn't make sense to me."
"Doesn't make sense to me, either." He fiddles with the sleeve of Jesse's hoodie, and frowns. "It shouldn't have been them. I can think of plenty of people who should've gone instead." He doesn't really care if that's a mean thought, it's the truth. Jesse had been so much better than some of the others that had performed that night. "I knew the judges had gotten in wrong, but how did a whole country mess up like that?" He can feels his voice getting weaker as he continues, he can hear the way it breaks a few times, and he hates it. He doesn't want to be weak, he's acting like a freaking girl.
Drew watches him sadly, noting the way his voice starts to falter. "You know this isn't a singing competition, Mookie. It's all about voting for your local talent. When there's 20 people, and 13 provinces, votes get split, and the wrong people take the fall because of it."
"Yeah, I know. It still sucks."
"Never said it doesn't." He gives his younger companion a weak smile.
Mookie let's out a frustrated sigh, and rests his forehead against his knees. "It's just.. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I'm just so damn used to him being here, y'know? I'm used to practicing with him, used to exchanging tips and ideas. It's just gonna be so weird without having him here."
"Tell me about it. Paul always helped me pick my songs, I'm so indecisive. I swear I'll end up calling him to ask him to pick for me, but then I'd feel bad, cause I'd feel like calling him about that would just be rubbing it in his face that I'm still here, and he's not." He reaches out, and ruffles Mookie's hair gently, "You know if you ever need help, or if you ever get lonely, I'm always around to help out."
"Thanks," he mumbles against the fabric of his jeans before looking back up at Drew. "And yeah, I don't know what to say when Jesse calls me. Other than "I miss you", of course."
"I guess we'll find out when the time comes." Drew sighs, and lets go of the pillow in his lap, moving his hands to the mattress behind him so that he can lean back a bit, still watching the younger boy.
"Do you.. do you think that they're allowed to come visit?" There's the faintest tinge of hope in Mookie's voice and eyes, a for a moment it reminds Drew of just how young the kid is.
"I.. honestly don't know. I mean, I don't see why not..." He glances up at the ceiling, "But they might be too busy. Isn't Jesse supposed to be recording his album?" He returns his gaze to Mookie.
Oh. He'd forgotten about that part. "Oh, right.. yeah. He will be recording." The hope visibly fades, and Drew frowns, but Mookie forces a smile. "His band's amazing. They'll go places. He got himself known though the show, now he can carry the band to fame," as he talks, the smile becomes less forced, and more proud.
Drew smiles softly, "They'll do fine." They two are silent for a long moment, but the silence is comforting and not awkward. After a little while, Drew speaks again, "It.. it kind of makes me want to give up. Y'know?"
Mookie gives a soft smirk, "Jesse told me I'm not allowed."
Drew smiles in response. "Paul, too."
Mookie glances at the clock for a moment, and sighs, "I really don't feel like rehearsing today. Think they'll go easy on us?"
"Mm, I doubt it." He glances back up at the ceiling, "The others might, but not the people who matter."
"That's probably better. I hate that feeling when you just know everyone's trying to be careful around you, like walking on eggshells."
The older man nods, "Yeah. I hate that, too." He sighs softly, before standing, "But I guess we've gotta go find out how it's gonna be."
"Yeah, s'no use wallowing in self pity." He slowly uncurls himself, and gets off of the bed, and for a moment, he considers taking off Jesse's hoodie but he decides to leave it on. He walks over to Drew and hugs the older man tightly for a moment, because he knows that they both need the contact.
Drew hugs him back for a moment, before pulling away. "Let's get this over with." He ruffles Mookie's hair gently, earning a half-glare from the boy, before walking over to the door and opening it.
Mookie watches as his friend disappears into the hall, before taking a deep breath, exhaling, and following.